A New Born With a Black hoodie?
by poisonnwine
Summary: After a chaotic change of events, Spencer finds her self alone until she realizes she isn't exactly alone, and that she is pregnant with...A's child? Four years later, and she is taking care of her child, although the father wasn't around before, he's back now. But is four years enough time to forgive and forget? or will it just make matters worse?
1. Chapter 1

**Gah, I have problems, So what is this? Like my 20th story? Lol um... I don't even know how I'm gonna have time for this considering I'm also in the process of writing like 3 other stories? ahhaa um. Yeah, like seriously though. This is getting a ridiculous, lol. It's just so many ideas pop into my head, and i'm like "i should do that" and then I start writing, and the next thing I know, I have like 4 stories in the making, and then sometimes I never have time for them, and then I feel bad. So just a warning, I will not be updating everyday! I just don't have the time lol.  
**

**Also, if you read my other stories, you'll know that I usually use the name Noah, ahahah. I like that name okay? haahah.**

Chapter One

The fourth Birthday

"Hanna, I'm going to pay you for the cake." Spencer insisted, as Hanna finished the last touches of the super hero themed cake.

"No Spencer. Just take as a gift, from me to him. It wasn't made for you. It was made for him?" Hanna nodded to Noah as she finished writing the 'y' in happy birthday on his home made birthday cake, Hanna had made especially for him. Hanna was on her way of being a baker, after a year of trying to decide what she wanted to be, she had decided on opening up her own bakery. She took some cooking classes, but college wasn't exactly her forte. She had attended for a year, but had dropped out, causing her mother to flip. Although, with all the money she had left over, she had taken a risk, she had leased a building, and started her own bakery. Hanna was a natural. Those cooking classes only made her better. Three years later, all her hard work paid off. Han's baked goods, was a huge success. Hanna was doing great for her self, and her friends and family were proud. Although, they had their doubts, Hanna had proved them wrong. "Wasn't it?" She asked, her voice slightly more playful, than it had been with Spencer._  
_

The little boy nodded absent-mindedly, his blue eyes ogling the cake, and his little pink lips covered in drool. He was propped up on the on the chair, leaning forward on the counter, looking as if he was plotting to take some frosting off the alluring cake in any second. "Mommy it's my cake," He said defensively as if someone was going to take it away. "I'll share, but you're not getting the whole thing!" He said his little round blue eyes furrowed, looking up at her seriously.

"That's very nice of you, but It looks like a pretty good cake, you might have to do something for me in return." She said looking down at him in his round blue eyes. She loved him, she loved everything about him, but she desperately wished that he had gotten the domestic gene like most people, and would have brown eyes like hers. Instead of those baby blue eyes, that matched his fathers.

"What?" He asked pouting, his lower lip out.

"Take a bath, and go get ready for your party." She said more seriously this time.

"How do I know, that you wont take my cake away?" He asked her squinting.

"Don't worry, I'll make sure you get some cake, if you listen to your mommy." Hanna said from across the counter. He shifted his little blue orbs between the two.

"Okay." He sighed happily, as Spencer picked him off of the stool, he was once sitting on to see his cake, that he just had to see. Spencer took him off the chair, and set him on the floor. She grabbed his hand and they made their way to the bathroom to start preparing the little boy for his birthday party.

He was turning four, it was incredible. Four years have passed since he was born. She never imagined to be four years out of high school, and have a child. Hell, her whole life was unexpected. She never expected to be working at her best friend's bakery working to pay for a not so good apartment she shared with that friend, so she could take care of her four year old. She didn't expect to taking classes gradually to be a editor. Her life was the definition of unexpected, and sometimes those surprises, they were grand. Like Noah, he was defiantly a surprise, who ever plans to get pregnant in high school? When she found out she was pregnant, she was a mess, and she had some options. A was still hot on her tail, and she wasn't in a good state. It wasn't safe for her. It wouldn't be safe for the baby, she considered abortion, but she just couldn't bring her self to do it. She knew it wasn't going to be easy, but since the day she was born, her life wasn't easy. She was born into the high strung Hastings family. At that point in her life, before she found out about that little fetus growing inside her, she was in a deep depression, she felt so empty, she wished she had just died. She didn't see a purpose in going on because she would never be able to move on. What reason did she have to be here anyway? Her parents never cared about her, her sister would be happy if she was never born, and her half brother probably wouldn't care either. Her friends had their boyfriends, or girlfriends, they would soon forget about her, while they grew old with them, while Spencer was alone. Because the one person who seemed to care about her most, the person who seemed to love her the most, the person she was _so_ in love with turned out to be a fraud. Turned out to be someone she didn't even know, turned out that he was the person who made her life hell, when she thought he made her life heaven. Turned out he never actually loved her at all. It was all just a game, a sick and evil game.

_For two weeks, she cried her self to sleep, whether that sleep took place during the morning, the afternoon, or the evening, that's all she had been doing. Sleeping, crying, throwing up, and although she hadn't had the appetite, her friends, and parents forced her to eat something every now and then. To her parents it was just a silly break up, only her friends knew the whole truth. _

_Well not quite, it seemed to all happen so fast, that she had never told them who she had lost her virginity too. A, she had lost her virginity to A. A had literally taken every thing from her, and she was practically passing it out like Halloween candy on October 31rst. Everything had happened so fast. A month after he had stolen her virginity, he had stomped on her stolen heart, revealed to be A. Now two weeks later, she had barely left her bed. She had barely talked. She was like a zombie, after awhile, all her friends would do when they came over was stare, because what were they supposed to say? 'It would be okay' ? They would simply be lying. Things weren't getting any better, they were getting worse. _

_Although, the at least the worst was over. Nothing, absolutely nothing could cause her this much pain. This terribly emotionally pain, that somehow turned into a physical pain. Her body ached, and she literally felt sick every day. A broken heart, is the worst kind of disease. The worst thing that could ever possibly happen. Spencer felt so pathetic, so foolish, so helpless.  
_

_What was she doing? Lying in bed everyday, just thinking. About him. Or just about nothing. She wasn't going to school, she wasn't doing her homework her friends brought to her every day, she wasn't eating, she had barely showered, and only showered so she could bawl in private, when she told her mother, or father she was okay. But she wasn't._

_A knock at the door, and Spencer could hardly believe her eyes. Melissa. Spencer looked awful. She hadn't showered since a couple days ago, and her outfit was stained with mid-morning throw up. Her hair was a complete mess, and her mocha eyes were pink from previous tears, and puffed. Melissa, of course, looked perfect. But, Spencer actually didn't care. She didn't care, that Melissa was perfect, and she was a complete disaster. It just didn't seem to matter anymore, nothing seemed to matter..._

_"Hey," She said hesitantly. Spencer didn't say anything. "Are you okay?" She asked, as if she actually cared. Her parents probably told her to go check on her, and Melissa, being Melissa, followed orders, maintaining her perfect daughter award. "I heard you've been skipping school. Spencer that's so unlike you." She said taking a seat at the end of her bed. Spencer, gulped. "You and Toby, you broke up." She said offering a small sad smile. Spencer, cringed at the name but, managed a nod._

_"What happened?" She asked. _

_'The usual. We broke up because he turned out to only be using me, and has been torturing me this whole time.' She thought. "Why do you care?" She said, her voice more vulnerable then harsh, like she was intending._

_"You're my sister. I care about you, even if you don't think I do." She said tilting her head. She almost sounded genuine... "Look," She said after a pregnant pause. "They'll be other guys, you're a Hastings, you don't even have to try, and guys will be at your feet." Melissa said with another small sad smile._

_Spencer felt her stomach tumble, and a nauseous feeling starting up again. She picked the bucket off the floor, she had supplied her self, just in case she had thrown up yet again that morning. _

_"Were you drinking?" Melissa asked. "I won't tell." _

_She shook her head. _

_"Well, are you sick?" Melissa asked furrowing her eye brows._

_"I don't know. Can you just let me go back to sleep?" Spencer pleaded pulling a blanket over her head._

_"Spencer," She sighed stepping off the bed, and to the other side of Spencer's bed. She pulled the covers back, "Spencer, you should go see a doctor. You don't need to be getting sick on top of this." Melissa said, giving her the look of pity. Spencer groaned._

_"If I go, will you just leave me alone?" Spencer asked, frowning. Melissa looked to give it some thought, but nodded, and said yes. Then made her way out of Spencer's room, giving her one last look of sympathy, before closing the door, and making an appointment for her little sister to see the doctor._

When born she considered her options, she was barely eighteen, and she had a baby. A baby whom she would have to take care of on her own. By that time, A was gone, luckily. If she gave him up for adoption, he could probably live a better life, with two parents, instead of an eighteen year old mother, who would smother him. She would probably be over protective, but how could she not be? But, how could she trust anyone with her son? Asides her self? Besides, she couldn't give him up. He was her everything, the reason she didn't end it all. He gave her a purpose at her darkest times, and she needed to be there for him. She needed to make sure he had the best life he could possibly have. And the only way to assure that, was that she took care of him.

"Mommy, why are you crying? Are you sad?" He asked worriedly, his big blue eyes sad, and his little tiny hand caressing her cheek, where the tear had fell.

"You're just growing up so fast." She said shaking smiling sadly.

"Should I stop? Will you stop being sad, and stop crying then?" He asked his blue eyes glued on her, as he pet her face with his hand.

"No, honey." She laughed. "You have to grow up, as much as I don't like it. Everyone has to grow up." She said.

"Well I don't have too." he hummed. "I can go to that place! The um...um ever land! So I won't grow up, and you won't be sad!" He said his blue eyes sparkled as they grew bigger with excitement.

"Well, then we have another big problem. I would miss you _way_ to much!" She said poking his stomach, which triggered him to giggle.

"No silly, you come too! And Auntie Hannie, and Auntie Emmy, and Auntie Arie, and Uncly Ezra, And Uncly Caleb, and the kids at school, and Malcolm-" He babbled, getting more excited by the second.

"Neverland." She corrected him with a smirk. "And, before we go anywhere, I have to remind you that we have your birthday party to go to later." She smiled knowingly, "And there's a cake, literally with your name on it." She cocked her head with a smirk.

"Oh yeah!" He chimed eagerly. "When? Where!?" He said his little legs about to run out of the room.

"Wait, wait, wait." She said holding his little hands in hers. "Can I get a hug first?" She asked opening her arms, and he gladly accepted wrapping his tiny arms around his mother, who hugged back tightly for a rather long time. Which made him groan, "Mommy, can we go see the cake now?" he whined.

"Fine, Fine." She released him out of her embrace, "But, remember, we are just looking, not touching, or eating. We have to eat lunch first, and the cake is for the party later." She told him as she followed the running four year old out of the room.

"Auntie Hannie!" The four year old yelled running towards the kitchen. "Mommy, said I could have the whole cake!"

"Did she really?" Hanna narrowed her eyes on the eager four year old, and then up at Spencer.

"I don't remember saying that Noah." Spencer said titling her head, and narrowing her eyes at him.

"I know." He said sadly. "I'm sorry, I lied. But, can I pretty please have at least some frosting?" He begged, "Please, Please, Please!" He pleaded, now pulling the puppy dog face. After seeing that face, Hanna already knew the outcome of the situation. She pulled out a spoon, and made her way to the excess frosting. No one, could say no to that face. He didn't even have to pull the puppy dog face, to get what he wanted. He was just so adorable naturally, that it just seemed wrong to say no to those big blue eyes, messy dark brown hair, and his little cute chin dimple. No one, not even Spencer could say no to the little four year old, if he only knew his powers.

**So next chapter will have more flashbacks, and introduce some characters, and also something else. So keep reading xx**

**And please tell me what you think. (:**


	2. Chapter 2

**This is really long. Wow. Um, lol sorry to those who hate reading long things. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own PLL**

**And Thank you so much for the reviews! Love you all. (: Please keep reviewing, I got such good feedback on tumblr, and here, and you guys are just great. Thank you so much, I really appreciate it. By the way, your going to have to be patient with me through this story. Please. (: It might be a little depressing at times, but I'll try to put in a cute moment each chapter, so hopefully you wont kill me. Okay thank you again. **

And so it begins...

Chapter 2

It was a hot mid July afternoon in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Many were outside on that warm day, embracing the heat, and enjoying the summer that was speeding past them. It was perfect weather for a swim, or simply just having a picnic. Or in Spencer's case, to have a child's birthday party at a state park.

The picnic tables were covered in decorations, and guests were arriving quickly. The sun hovered over them brightly, and children's cheers filled the ears of many. "Hey," Spencer greeted the shorter brunette, and dark haired man with a hug. "Hey Malcolm." Spencer greeted the eleven year old with a smile. "Your getting so big!" She cooed, and he was certainly looking more and more like Ezra as the days passed.

He shrugged sheepishly, with a small smile. He was a polite boy, he always said please and thank you. Also, Noah admired him since he had met him. "I'm almost as tall as Aria." He smiled a huge grin taking hold of his face, as he glanced up teasingly at his step mom. Yes,_ Step-Mom_. Shortly after Maggie had paid a surprise visit to Ezra's, Maggie had told him the truth of their secret son. Maggie didn't give away any hints that Aria knew, but Aria couldn't keep that secret from him. They already had too many secrets. So she told him everything, at first it caused a small bump in their relationship, but they pulled through. Ezra started to get involved in his son's life since then, with time, Malcolm and his father got closer and closer. Maggie and Ezra's relationship was strictly friends, and unlike Jackie she was okay with that. Both had moved on. After spending some time with his son, he had introduced Malcolm to Aria. Being the mommy's boy he was, he wasn't too fond of Aria when they first met, but by the second time met, he had changed his mind drastically and he had taken a liking to her. After high school graduation, Ezra and Aria eloped. She knew her parents, especially her father, and Ezra's mother would never allow the two, to marry, but that didn't stop them. Aria was sure she wanted to be with Ezra for the rest of her life, and he felt the same way.

"You'll be taller then her in two years, tops." Ezra laughed along with Aria.

"Not if I wear heals." She supplied giggling at her stepson.

"Yeah, yeah." The little boy chuckled. "Wheres Noah?"

"He's_ playing_ basketball with his uncle Jason," Spencer said referring to her little boy who was passing the ball back and forth, and occasionally dribbling it, but most of the time, failing. " and some of his little friends from day care." She said pointing to the small basket ball court. Jason still had his basket ball skills, and ever since Noah could hold a basket ball, they would play every time he came for a visit. He was turning him into a little basket ball star athlete.

"Oh, dad, can I go over-" He asked, his eyes filled with anticipation.

"Yeah, sure." he said with a smile, and just like that, not so little any more, Malcolm was running towards the basketball court.

"Thanks for bringing him, he's like Noah's idol." Spencer laughed moving her eyes back to the happy couple in front of her.

"No problem. He was pretty excited to see the little guy too." Ezra said taking his eyes off his son, and wrapping an arm around Aria.

"Well either way, thank you." Spencer smiled genially.

"Where should we put this?" Aria asked, gesturing the small present she was holding. It was wrapped in simple striped, black and blue paper, and had a pretty little bow on top.

"You didn't have to-"

"Spencer, just shut up." Aria said overpowering the taller brunettes words. "Where did you say?" She singsonged, a smile creeping on her face.

"Over on that table." Spencer stated nodding her head to the picnic table piled with gifts.

"Ezra, will you?" She asked turning her body towards him, her hazel eyes looking at him innocently.

"Uh sure." He murmured taking the present out of her hands.

"And you should go join the basket ball game over there. Show off your mad skills." Aria joked, Ezra wasn't the best at sports. Surprisingly, Jason, Ezra, and Aria became good friends. Around two years ago, Aria started to befriend Jason again, Ezra saw him as a threat, but after spending a simple afternoon together, that was simply just Aria showing him Jason was only friend, the afternoon ended up planting a seed of friendship between the men. Soon enough, Aria was the jealous one. "You haven't seen Jason in, what? A week? You two okay?" She teased. "Did you guys break up?"

Ezra rolled his dark blue eyes. "You're just jealous of the bromance we have going on."

"Um, hello? Team Sparia all the way." She smirked, as he chuckled at her.

"I married such a weirdo." He laughed as he kissed her cheek, before fleeing of to the table piled with presents, and then off to the basketball court.

"So," Aria said as soon as Ezra was gone. "How'd it go?" She asked nudging her friend with her elbow, as Spencer unwrapped a pasta salad from the bags.

"What?"

"Your date." Aria smiled coyly. "With Trevor." Spencer couldn't help but roll her eyes, her friends had been setting her up on blind dates for the last four years, and none of them were exactly... her soul mate. Some, Spencer would hate, some she would take home, and have a little fun with to relieve some stress, but none of them every came close to anything serious. She wasn't looking for a relationship, but her friends just didn't understand.

_"Spencer, you know I think it's better that you finally came to your senses and broke up with that Cavanaugh boy. He was trouble." Her father said from across the table cutting his chicken breast with his knife. _

_It had been three weeks now. Three weeks since her whole world had crumbled apart. She had gone to the doctors, and now she had a new secret. A secret that she could get rid of, a secret that would make her parents give her hell, a secret that maybe she wanted to keep, but that didn't necessarily mean keeping the secret, a secret. _

_Of course her dad would think that. Couldn't he see how vulnerable she was? Did he really have to bring in those thoughts, that she tried so desperately to block out? "I know you liked him, and all. But, you have so much more potential Spencer. He was okay for a high school boy friend, but for a second there I was a little scared, you two were getting serious." He continued, completely oblivious to her feelings. How he didn't even have to say his name, to make her heart continue to shatter into a million of pieces. "I think you'll agree soon enough. But, I'm glad you went to school today. Those studies are what's important." Her feelings weren't important, no Hastings didn't have feelings. Spencer was just a disgrace in her parents eyes. "You'll go to college, you'll meet a lawyer, or some doctor in premed, and you'll continue being successful, like the Hastings you are."_

_Expect Spencer didn't want to meet another guy, she didn't want to be with any other guy, asides 'That Cavanaugh boy'. _

"It was okay." Spencer shrugged nonchalantly, taking the pasta salad bowl, towards the picnic table.

"Come on, he's cute, and sweet, and funny, and-" Aria followed her.

"Yeah he is." She declared turning on her heel after setting the pasta salad down. "But, that's the thing. He's a nice guy. He really is. But, I'm a single mother, at twenty two. He's probably looking to get married, and have kids. I don't want that Aria, I'm fine with what I have." Spencer declared.

"How could you possibly know he wants all those things? You had one date." She exclaimed, her vibrant smile still present on her face.

"Because that's what nice guys want Aria." She stated dryly.

"Well, not all nice guys want that-" She testified.

"Look, I know you guys are just trying to help me out, and I love you guys, but please stay out of my love life." She said before walking past Aria to greet Noah's preschool teacher. Aria sighed, why did her friend have to be so stubborn?

_Four weeks, four weeks had passed and she was still moping around lifeless. She was confused, and she was scared. She was depressed, and she was anxious to wake up from this never-ending nightmare called her life. Four weeks had passed, and the wombs were still unhealed. Four weeks, and she was still hurting every single day. _

_Now, on top of this all, she was pregnant. Pregnant with his baby. Just a further reminder of all the pain, all the hurt, all the lies. She didn't know what to do. She was now around eight weeks along. She was going to have to make up her mind. She was going to have to decide. At this point, what else was she going to do with her life? Her grades were dropping after skipping school for so long, and not turning in assignments. Hell, she wasn't even trying in school anymore. She didn't have the energy to do so. Her dream of going to Upenn was shattered, along with her heart. _

_Although she was back in school, she wasn't back to her normal self. She barely said a word to anyone, even her friends. Although, 'A' or Toby... was being quieter than Spencer. She hadn't received a text from 'A' since finding out the truth. Maybe it was over. Her friends hadn't said anything either. Although, maybe they were just doing so, because they didn't want to push her any farther into her depression. Spencer had barely talked to them, their everyday visits, turned into every other day, once she returned to school. _

_"Hey Spence," Emily said pushing her bedroom door open, a shy smile on her face._

_"Hi." Spencer said meekly, staying put in her position of hugging her knees on red sofa chair in the corner of her dark room, the only dim light coming from her. The early December, rare sun rays, glowing on her. _

_Emily sighed, the smile on her face diminishing. "Toby came by today," Emily said her voice shaking with fear that Spencer would burst out in tears at the mere mention of his name. He had skipped town shortly after the girls discovered his dark secret of being A._

_ Spencer looked up, cautiously.  
_

_"What." She breathed._

_"I only saw him for a second. I didn't know what to say, or do. But he was talking to Angie, and he gave her something. Then he left, I was too in shock to do anything, if I even knew what to do. I told Aria, and Hanna, but when we went to his loft, he wasn't there. Then I talked to Angie, later that night. She told me he had moved out, and was leaving Rosewood. And he told her to give you this," Emily said pulling out an envelope hesitantly. "I told her I would give it to you." She gulped nervously._

_"Toby was...in Rosewood?" Spencer breathed indifferently, her eyes far away, and defiantly not on Emily or the envelope for that matter._

_"Yeah," Emily breathed holding out the letter to her friend. Spencer looked up at her finally, and took the envelope apprehensively. All it said was 'Spencer'. She glided her thumb across the written word, and swallowed hardly. This was his hand writing, this wasn't fake. Spencer just stared blankly at it for awhile, just the word 'Spencer'. She couldn't bring her self to read it, bring her self to see his excuses. She couldn't bring her self to put her self through the pain of reading it. Whatever he had to say, whatever he had to tell her, she just wouldn't be able to handle. She finally set the envelope down and looked at Emily. "I'm pregnant." She whispered, her voice trembling with fear._

"Sorry I'm late." Emily said instantly greeting her friend with a friendly hug. "I got lost." She admitted with a small giggle.

"It's okay." Spencer smiled taking the wrapped gift away from her friend.

"Where's Noah?" Emily asked instantly.

"Yeah, i'm doing great, thanks." Spencer said sarcastically. "Last time I checked, he was with my parents." Spencer said, annoyance in her voice. Her parents weren't happy with her, they weren't happy with her at all. A Hasting's getting pregnant at seventeen? That would tarnish their reputation. Although her parents were cold about it, and treated her like she was a huge embarrassment, they had helped her with finances at least. They had offered to track down Toby, to make him pay for child support, but Spencer had to practically force them not too. It was mostly her mother who wanted to do so, her father rather have Toby out of his daughter's life forever. Spencer, honestly didn't know which parent she agreed with...

Ever since her pregnancy, her parents were worse than ever. They also implied she was the failure of the family, and that her little mistake had caused her, her whole life. Although, they adored Noah. Even though her parents were always nice to her little boy, Spencer made sure, after each visit from his grandparents, that they hadn't brain washed him into thinking he had to be the best, that he had to gain love through good grades, being captain of a sports team, or being best at everything. She made sure he knew, she loved him unconditionally.

After whipping their heads back and forth for a few seconds, they spotted Noah. He was looking up at Peter Hastings, looking as if he was completely intrigued in what ever he was saying, while Veronica stood next to him listening to her husband's rambles.

"Maybe, I'll just wait." Emily said laughing.

"That would probably be a better decision." Spencer laughed.

_"You're what?" Emily spattered. Spencer avoided her friends dark brown eyes. "Spencer, is-" She gulped. "You and-" She sputtered. "Is he the dad?" Emily asked her voice low, in a hushed tone. An almost panicked tone._ _Spencer didn't answer. "Spencer." She whispered into the dead silence._

_"Yeah," She said finally, shutting her eyes tightly, letting the tears fall, and exhaling a shaky breath. "It happened before, before I knew." She sobbed hysterically as Emily sat down with her, wrapping her sobbing friend into her arms. "I don't know what to do Emily." She wailed._

_"Sh," Emily hushed her, swaying her back and forth. "It will be okay." She whispered. "It's going to be okay." She said unconvincingly. Truthfully, Emily had no idea what was going to happen. They hadn't mentioned it to Spencer, but they had been getting A texts. A wasn't gone. This wasn't over. But, Emily would say anything to make her friend feel better, at least for a blissful moment._

_"People keep telling me that," She sniffled into her friend's dark hair. "They keep telling me I'm strong. They keep telling me that soon it will stop hurting, that the pain will go away with time. But none of that matters. Because that bright future? That future that every one talks so fondly of, may never come. But these feeling, these feelings of hopelessness and loneliness, and emptiness and confusion are what's happening right now. Knowing that maybe it will get better, that the pain will eventually stop, doesn't make any of that pain go away. It doesn't change anything, because that future isn't real. It's not definite. But all this pain? That's what's real. It's how I feel right now, and it doesn't matter that it might get better, because right now, I don't want to live, to wait for this future that may never come." She confessed through her tears, and this crushed Emily's pour little heart. This was the most she had said about how hurt she actually was. She had been so closed off with everyone. Knowing that this is how Spencer really felt, made Emily cry herself._

_But, Emily knew the feeling. The feeling of hopelessness and depression. When Maya died, that's how she felt. People told her, 'the pain would heal with time', but that didn't mean anything, that didn't do anything for her. That didn't change how she was feeling right then, right there.  
_

_"I'm so sorry." She said tears falling off her cheeks. "I'm here, we are all here for you, you just have to let us be there for you. You have to let us in." She said tightening her hold on her still sobbing friend. "I'm so sorry, Spencer."_

Within minutes the little four year old came running to his mother, and his auntie Emmy. "Hi auntie Emmy!" He said a huge smile on his face, his blue eyes sparkling looking up at the woman who smiled instantly at his greeting.

"Hi there, Noah!" Emily said. "Happy Birthday!" She exclaimed. "How old are you now?" She asked, even though she knew exactly how old he was, down to the minutes.

"Four!" He exclaimed holding up his four little fingers, happily.

"Wow, you're getting pretty old!" Emily exclaimed.

"He is," Spencer said admiring her son.

"Mommy, Uncle Jason told me that I got better since last time!" He boasted happily. He might have, just maybe, inherited Spencer's bragging ways.

"That's great!" She said a huge smile coming across her face. "I'm sure you'll be an all star athlete by next year."

"That's a _long _time." He said widening his eyes. "I'll be..." He said pondering. "Five!"

"Yes," Spencer nodded.

"That's really old!" He exclaimed. "It's your whole hand!" He said looking at his hand in awe, as if it were some incredible sight.

"Well that's pretty far away, so we don't have to worry about it." She assured him.

"How old are you mommy? What about you Auntie Em? What about Gramma and Grampa? Are they like 100 years old?" He asked curiously as Spencer picked her son off the ground, holding him on her hip, and laughing at how prehistoric he thought her parents were.

"We are all old." She declared. "Way to old too even count." she exclaimed widening her mocha eyes.

"I'm a good counter though!" He counteracted. "1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8-" He began quickly, number after number, coming out of his mouth.

"We're all hundreds of years old, how's that?" She laughed.

"No mommy! You're lying." He giggled.

"I would never." She said her voice high, and pretending to be offended. "Now, are you ready for some lunch?"

"Does that mean cake is soon?" He said popping his big blues out more alerted than before.

"Yes. Soon." She said. They little boy cheered, and both women laughed at the eager four year old.

_Another week passed. The letter was still unread. Her mind was still not made up. And her secret was still kept. Emily had told the girls, and now, they were once again visiting everyday, sleeping over every day, making sure she was okay. They wanted her to read the letter, they needed her to read the letter. What Spencer didn't know, was that A was still on their trail. Maybe Toby told Spencer something, anything that could help them. But, how could they tell her that it wasn't over? That A was probably just waiting for her to be strong again, to knock her right back down? They couldn't just force her to read the letter he had written her. They had to wait till she was ready. Whenever that would be..._

_Today, it was just Hanna and Spencer, doing homework together."Spencer," Hanna said hesitantly. The whole day, Spencer hadn't mentioned a word about Toby, about her pregnancy, about A. Hanna knew she shouldn't bring up something that would bring her friend down, but she knew her friend was still hurting. She knew her friend was just putting up a wall like always._

_Spencer looked up from across the kitchen counter from her anatomy homework. "Yeah?" She asked.  
_

_"I just want you to know, that it's okay, not to be okay about all of this." Hanna said with a small toothless sad smile. "It's okay not to hate him." She said apprehensively. Spencer just looked at her, her lips shut tightly, her hard eyes staring at Hanna. "When we found out about Mona... I didn't know what to do, I didn't understand why she would do those things to me. I know it's different. But, Mona was important to me. When Ali disappeared, when we all went our separate ways, you guys all had somewhere to go. Somewhere to fit in." She explained._

_"Aria went to Iceland, Emily had her swim teammates, you had your field hockey friends, and you were class president. Even without Ali, everyone knew you. You guys all had somewhere to fit in, but I was just that chubby loser who was friends with Alison. But, then Mona came along. I found a new best friend. Somewhere to fit in. Me and Mona were a lot of like, we were practically twins, we both wanted to be that girl every guy checks out, and every girl envys. She was there for me, when you guys weren't. When I found out she was A, she was that bitch behind that black hoodie. I was hurt, and mad, and I felt betrayed. But, I couldn't bring my self to hate her. I couldn't convince my self that our friendship was all just part of her evil game to torture us. I still believe our friendship was real." Hanna admitted. "Pretending to do something, after awhile, becomes real. I know you think he never cared about you, never loved you. But, I know he did. He couldn't possibly not love you after spending so much time with you, going through all that with you, you can only play pretend so long." Hanna continued. "Look, maybe reading the letter. Maybe he'll explain some things and you'll know-"_

_"Hanna," Spencer said stopping her. "Whatever it is. It doesn't change anything. And if that's the case, then I'll just pretend to hate him until I actually do." She said her voice threading with conflicting feelings and rage._

_"But don't you want to know the truth?"_

_"Hanna," Spencer scoffed. "What does that even mean? That letter, that letter he wrote me. Maybe it's just a bunch of lies, a bunch of lies to match our relationship. He lied to me before, why should I believe him now?" _

"Happy Birthday dear Noah, Happy birthday to you." The crowd sang along, the light of the lit five candles, one for good luck, bouncing off his big blue eyes. The little boy blew out his candles in one blow. Every one clapped, and the little boy started clapping along with the others cheerfully. Spencer watched her little eager boy, her mocha eyes starting to water up. He was growing up so fast, next year, around this time, she would be preparing him for kindergarten.

But that wouldn't be the only thing different about the year to come. Spencer's life was the definition of unexpected, and the surprises; good and bad, would continue whether she liked it or not.

**That was super long. I debated on cutting it in half, but I wanted to wrap up the party thing. So, well, please tell me what you thought(: Toby will be coming soon. (((:**


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you sooooooooooo much for the awesome reviews, honestly you guys are like amazing. Well, well, well, enjoy the chapter. (: I'm not that good a descriptive writing, like I can write about feelings and dialogue but descriptions for places and people isn't my strong suit, so use your imagination i guess? Lol, i've never taken a writing class, and i've basically taught my self I guess, cause my school doesn't ever have us write stories...which is annoying because writing stories is pretty fun. How awesome would it be to write fanfiction for homework/grade/school, like wow that would be great, I would like actually enjoy that assignment, but I'm getting off track, lol.

Just please tell me what you think, and i'm open for any constructive criticism (:

Chapter Three

_He's Back..._

A trip to the grocery store. That's all she had planned for that humid mid-July afternoon. An uneventful afternoon. That's all that she had anticipated that morning when she woke up. Although, the universe had different plans for a certain Spencer Hastings. "Mommy, can we get these?" The little boy asked holding a box of chocolate mini wheat cereal, which he much more preferred than Spencer's honey nut Cheerios she always bought. Caleb had once introduced Noah to the chocolate mini wheat cereal he was now so fond off, and now the little boy was _obsessed. _Obsessed,as in eating chocolate mini wheat cereal for not only breakfast, or a mid morning snack, but lunch, or sometimes he would even ask for it for dinner. Spencer didn't argue with her son about having cereal for dinner, as long as he would eat some kind of fruit or vegetable to accompany it. She wasn't too fond of the idea, but with her tight wallet, and mediocre cooking skills, she let it slide.

"Sure," She said grabbing the box of cereal, and putting it in the cart, along with her own box of Cheerios. It was a Tuesday morning, and one of the extremely rare days Spencer neither had work, or school. Yes, she took school during summer. She was so eager to get her writing degree at this point. After high school, Spencer waited a year to actually start going to college. She was a single mother at eighteen, and she simply didn't have enough time to take care of her son,_ and_ go to school. So, the next fall, when Noah was barely one, Spencer started attending classes...slowly. She only had two classes a semester, and has building up her schedule gradually ever since. At this rate, she would be graduated by next spring. It wasn't what she originally planned, but then again her life was just a continuous line of unexpected events.

_Her parents looked at her indifferently, crossing their arms, and her mother tapping her foot as if she was wasting her precious time, that could be spent doing work or praising Melissa. Melissa, was on the couch's arm and looking at her with curiously, more skeptically than curious actually. Spencer gulped. She was ten weeks pregnant, and she had made up her mind. She didn't know if her decision was the smartest decision... but, she couldn't kill her baby. She couldn't already be a worse parent, than her own parents. She couldn't let her baby be demolished of life because the father had completely shattered her heart, and even though she was simply just a high school student with her whole life in front of her, she knew now, that this baby was her new life._

_She was scared, and beyond worried. Worried about her parent's reaction, worried about all the rumors that would now be circulating Rosewood, but most importantly worried about her baby's safety. Could A...or Toby, be so morbid to try and hurt her while she was pregnant? Would they drug her, messing up the baby's development? The thoughts scared her to death just thinking about them. But, A had been gone for a while now, ever since she had found out about Toby... could have Toby been behind all of it? Did he stop because they knew the truth? None of it made sense to her. One thing was for sure though, she was not going to let any one hurt the baby growing inside her. She loved him or her so much already, she or he was truly the only one helping her out of her sickening depression._

_Her mother coughed intentionally, snapping Spencer out of her painful thoughts. "Um," She mumbled, with a gulp._

_"Well, Spencer. Get on with it." Her father urged her._

_"Well..." She said licking her chapped lips, she hadn't been really taking care of her self lately._

_ Mind as well pull of the bandage. "I'm pregnant." She forced her self to say. She didn't know how else to put it, but now she stood silent, her mocha eyes full of fear. Her father looked angry, no beyond angry. His jaw clenched, and he stood up abruptly, his brown eyes hard, and his fists clenched with furry. Her mother looked baffled, and disturbed and just glared at her youngest daughter in shock. Melissa gaped, her mouth slightly open, and her brown eyes widened with astonishment._

_"You're what?" Her father gritted through his teeth._

_"Pregnant." She said meekly, not looking him in the eyes. She felt her whole body begin to shake, or at least it felt like she was shaking. She began to feel week, and felt as if she was going to collapse, her knees trembling unsteadily._

_"Is this why Toby Cavanaugh left? He got you pregnant, and didn't want to take responsibility, and left?" He said taking another sharp step towards the shaking girl. Before Spencer could even say anything, her father went on, his voice increased and nostrils flared. "Did he pressure you into this? I knew that boy was nothing but trouble. From the start he was causing chaos in this town!" He said furiously. _

_"Spencer, I thought you were smarter than this?" Her mother asked, her voice full of disgrace, and shame. Her mother still didn't stand up, and her father had his hand covering his forehead, and the other tugging at his buttoned up shirt collar. _

_"I-" She spattered. "I'm-"_

_"Who the hell does that kid think he is? Going around impregnating my little girl, and then just getting up and leaving town. Well I tell you that guy is no suited to be a father. It's almost better he left town. __" Her father yelled aggravated, not yelling at any one particular. _

_"I-" Spencer sputtered blankly, she had no idea what to say._

_"Spencer just go to your room." Her mother said shaking her head with a heavy sigh, and ducking her head resting on her knuckles annoyed. They were sending her to her room? Like she was a child and she had stolen a cookie before dinner? She was having a baby, and they were treating her as if she was one. Then again, how did she expect them to act. She glanced at Melissa before letting out a sigh, and Melissa shot her a sympathetic look, before taking a place on the couch next to her mother, and patting her on the back comfortingly._

_Of course when Spencer was in the need of some comfort, her parents totally isolated her, and Melissa would suck up to her parents even more than usual._

"Mama, please, please, please, can I get the chocolate bars?" He asked pleadingly, displaying a crunch bar, and a kit-kat bar in his two little hands. Spencer didn't even understand how he knew what a crunch, or kit-kat bar were. She had never fed him chocolate... her mind instantly went to one person: Caleb.

"How do even know what those taste like?" She asked him, already preparing her self for an answer.

"Uncley Caleb gave some pieces to me the last time I saw him! He told me not to tell you though, so don't tell him please! Because i don't want him to be mad!" He said quickly, he had a lot of energy, like most four year olds.

"Oh did he?" She asked with a knowing smirk.

"Y-yeah" He stuttered looking up at her. "Don't tell him Mommy...please" He said his big blue eyes getting bigger, and his rosy lips parting. "Mommy!" he said after she didn't reply. She laughed shaking her head, at her son.

"Okay, I promise." She said with a reassuring smile. "But on two conditions. I'll get you _one _candy bar, and you have to share."

"One?" He pouted. She nodded firmly. They were in line at the cashier, and the older woman in front of them was pulling out her check book signaling it would soon be their turn. Noah would have to make his mind up...and fast.

"But you have to pick now, or you can't have any." She warned him.

He shifted his eyes frantically between the two candies, as if his life depended on it. He bit his lip, and set the crunch bar back where he picked it up, and handed the kit kat to his mother.

"Good choice." She smiled taking the candy from her little boy.

_"I got your favorite." he said stepping into the side door that led him into the Hastings kitchen. He had been texting his busy bee the whole day, well trying to at least. Her summer classes were ending in nearly two weeks, and that meant her exams were close by, which meant the only thing Spencer had fraternized with, was her books. Her friends were fine with this, Emily wasn't even back from her travels, Aria was probably dragging Ezra on photo shoots , and Hanna...was most likely finding new places to make sacred with Caleb, or attempting to complete her summer bucket list. Her friends had their own lives, and were fine with Spencer disappearing into her studies every now and ten. Toby on the other hand, wasn't too fond of spending any less time with her. At first, she declined when he said he could come over and 'help her study'. As if he actually would. He would simply tease her, and end up making her completely forget about her exams. She would easily become entranced by him, instead of her studies._

_ Not once in her life had she ever had this problem. No one could distract her so easily from her important studies. He was the only one who she would procrastinate homework, or end her studying time early for, so she could have an extra thirty minutes of talking to him on the phone every night. Spencer was almost glad he was a year ahead of her, and didn't return to school last Winter. Seeing him at school, would be incredible. But, she would get so carried away in the high of Toby Cavanaugh, that her grades would plummet downwards._

_He pulled a king-size kit-kat out of the plastic back, and slapped it onto her counter. Then he pulled out one of Spencer's favorite movies, that she had no idea how Toby even found. She had purposely told him that very old movie, so she could have at least a little study time before her dangerously attractive boyfriend came over, and whisked her away from her studies. "And last but defiantly not least," He said putting the tall coffee espresso in front of her.  
_

_"Thank you," She smiled up at him with sigh of complete bliss. She took a sip of the much needed coffee, and let out a pleasurable groan before setting it back down. "I can't believe you actually went out and found it." She laughed as she glanced at the old movie. Her giggles continued as she shook her head and stood up to greet him with a kiss. "You're ridiculous." She said, really saying 'You're perfect.' _

_"You're ridiculous," He murmured against her lips before their lips touched. "I would do anything for you." He said solemnly, pressing his lips to hers once more._

_"I know." She said happily, her mocha eyes vibrant and dancing with glee, as the butterflies in her stomach fluttered around aimlessly. "I love knowing that." She said breathlessly, and kept her balance by wrapping her arms around him fully into a hug, nuzzling her head into the crook of his neck inhaling his cologne. Something about him, something about him was different then how most guys made her feel. To most guys she was cool, collected, and confident. But with Toby she was nervous, and felt dizzy almost every time he was around. Toby could take her breath away by a single kiss, and make her stutter with a simple glance. He could make her tremble in a instant with his loving words, and make her knees buckle when he smiled at her. He made her whole body heat up when he deepened the kiss, but managed to send shivers up her back at his touch. Being with Toby Cavanaugh, it was defiantly the best feeling in the world. He could make her forget about her stress, her insecurities,and her worries. He could make her feel better what ever the situation, and most of all he made her feel safe in her life of horror._

The woman had loads of groceries in one of her hands, and her little boy's tiny hand in the other as they walked through the parking lot on the way back to her car. The little boy carried a bag of bread, helping his mother with the large load. Just as she was about to press the button for her car to unlock, a man interrupted her "Spencer?" The man's voice yelled from across the parking lot, the man was now jogging towards her grinning, "Hey, fancy seeing you here." He said with a broad smile. He was wearing jeans, and a simple navy T-shirt. He was quite handsome, he had beautiful hazel eyes, scruffy, curly, dirty blond hair that went past his ears, and some stubble. He was fairly tall, a bit taller than Spencer. He wasn't scrawny exactly.. but he was skinny and tall with not a lot of muscle.

"Yeah, Hey Trevor." She said with a smile.

"And who's this little guy?" The man asked cooing at the little boy next to the tall brunette, the little boy shot the man an odd look, and the man adverted his hazel eyes back to Spencer.

"My son; Noah." She said smiling at her son, "Don't be rude. Say hello." She told him sternly.

"Hi," He mumbled, his big blue eyes squinted at the strange man.

"I didn't know you had a son?" The man laughed.

"Yeah, " Spencer said her voice trailing as she rolled her mocha eyes down on her son. "He just turned four."

"Wow." The man widened his hazel eyes. She tilted her head at him, squinting her brown eyes. "That's surprising." he added nervously.

"How so?" She asked smugly.

"Just surprising..." his voice trailed into another low nervous chuckle. "You need help with those groceries?" He reverted quickly.

"Um, sure." She said reluctantly. She kind of did need some help. She handed him some bags, and then opened the back seat so Noah could hop into his booster seat, and buckled up. Spencer made her way to the back of the car, where Trevor had piled his handful of groceries in the trunk, and Spencer followed suit. After, she slammed the trunk close. "Thank you," She murmured.

"No problem." He answered. "I noticed you got Cheerios, it's my favorite. A lot of people say I'm plain and boring, but really it's phenomenal." Trevor said, the sun bouncing off his hazel eyes vibrantly.

"Yeah, it's mine too." She said with a genuine smile. "All my friends make fun of me, but it's delicious, and healthy, besides that just means more for me." She went on.

"Exactly!" Trevor exclaimed. "Now Spencer I have to be honest with you, I haven't stopped thinking about you since our date." He professed his eyes gleaming into hers.

"Oh," She mumbled.

"And I was wondering if you would want to go on a second?" He asked.

"I don't know..." She said her voice trailing with uncertainty. "But, I got to go. Noah's waiting for me, and he's going to be hungry for lunch soon." She said biting her lip. "It was nice seeing you." She rushed out before joining her son in her car.

_She fell back onto bed with a suppressed sigh, she looked at her stomach rubbing it slightly with one of her hands, she wasn't exactly showing... there was just a small round bump. She was a naturally skinny person, and she knew she could have kept this charade up a little longer, but she was tired of secrets. She was tired of keeping secrets, she was tired of being kept from secrets, she was just tired of secrets. Period. Her phone chirped, and she reluctantly pulled it out of her pocket. She hadn't received an 'A' text since the night they found out about Toby, until now that is._

_'Awh Spencer finally fessing up to the truth? You're taking all the fun out of it. - A' Spencer gaped staring at her phone screen. No, A couldn't be back. Instantly, she dialed her best friends numbers, and they some how got past her raging parents and into her bedroom. Now, they all sat guilty in various spots of her room._

_Emily sat on the Spencer's bed with Spencer, Hanna sat at Spencer's small desk, and Aria; the guiltiest looking one of them all, sat in the far off corner on her red sofa chair. "Do you guys think this is just a fake? Do you think Toby's back... I'm sorry, I should have called the cops when we had the chance." She sighed shamefully ducking her head down and biting her lip roughly until she could taste the blood gathering in her mouth. _

_"Actually..." Hanna said glancing at the other two girls cautiously. "We've been getting A texts...too."_

_"What?" Spencer said shifting at her best friends curiously._

_"We didn't want to tell you, you were already so down, and if A giving you a break, then we figured we shouldn't burden you with our problems." Emily gulped._

_"Our problems?" She snapped. "I thought we were all on the same team..." She said clearly aggravated. _

_"We are." Hanna piped up meekly. "We just thought you already had so much on your plate, that we thought you deserved a break." She shrugged. The silence between the girls lasted a while. Each one of them waited until Spencer had spoke up, timidly. _

_"So do you guys think this is Toby?" She whispered, desperate for them to say 'No'. Or even a not so sure answer. Something that just would put an end to this whole Toby being A ordeal._

_"No," Aria said shyly. "Toby left town. Besides his cover was blown, and he would be stupid to stay and Rosewood and continue this." She added. _

_"And me and Aria had a visit with Mona." Hanna said. "She said something about how he was a mistake, and she didn't seem to happy about it or him." Hanna mumbled._

_"And we trust Mona now?" Spencer asked sarcastically._

_"It's not only that..." Emily said glancing at the two others nervously, they had the same fear in their eyes as Emily. "We didn't want to bother you, but we were in desperate need for answers. A was targeting Hanna again, and it was getting really bad." Emily swallowed hardly adverting her eyes back on Spencer. "We really didn't want to pull you back into this, and we didn't want to force you to do anything..." Emily let out a tremulous breath. "So we read the letter Toby wrote you one day while you were taking a shower,we were looking for some kind of lead, or something to just help us end this once and for all." Emily explained, fearful that her friend would take their desperate actions as a betrayal._

_"You read that letter?" Spencer enrage standing up abruptly, shifting her deadly mocha eyes between her friends, the only people she felt she could trust in the world. Apparently not._

_"Spencer were-" Hanna tried to begin sympathetically. _

_"No," She said sternly, crossing her arms. "You know what just leave." She demanded._

_"Spencer-" Aria began calmly, stepping up._

_"Leave." Spencer demanded. Her friends sighed and did as they were told, leaving Spencer completely alone...again. Spencer's phone chirped again, and she let out a groan of frustration looking at the caller I.D. : 'Unknown.' She opened the text and sure enough, it was from A._

_'I bet you're regretting your decision of joining us, aren't you? Considering, everyone you love is plotting against you. It's like I don't even have to do any dirty work anymore, your friends and boyfriend, or should I say ex? , seem to have that covered. xoxo - A_

_PS. Too bad you and Toby didn't work out, you two made **such **a cute couple!'**  
**_

_She let out a scream of frustration and slammed her phone to the ground, and mimicked her phones actions, as she crashed to the ground on her trembling knees sobbing._

Spencer and her son strolled down the apartment's hall way joyfully carrying their groceries to Spencer and Hanna's shared apartment. They turned the corner, and Spencer couldn't believe who was at her doorway fighting with the blond friend of hers. She blinked her eyes rapidly, and halted motionlessly. Her son looked up at his mother, a confused expression plastered on his olive toned face. His big blue eyes followed his mother's gaze, and he landed on a tall man. He darted his blue eyes back to his mother, and tugged on her hand to move forward. "Mommy, come on." He said dazzled. "Who is that?" He asked.

Spencer didn't reply, and before she could even move out of the sight of the man, he looked over. First glancing at the little boy for a mere second, and then at Spencer. He didn't drop the eye contact once their eyes met and he look stunned as her, as his deep blue eyes bored into her mocha ones.

Toby Cavanaugh was back, and secrets from the past followed and would soon begin to unravel, revealing the truth.


	4. Chapter 4

**SpobyForever1106: They aren't flirting heh.**

**ShipHaleb: Hmm, read and you'll find out. (:**

**And to everyone else, thank you so much for the reviews! (: You guys are awesome, like seriously. If you aren't already following me on tumblr, you should, just saying : gorgeoustinysecretholders ! (; and thanks again, i've been getting excellent feedback, and just THANK YOU. Please keep reviewing! I honestly love you all so much. You make the hiatus and spoby depression easier to get through. I love you all so much ok thanks.**

Chapter Four

Questions 

_'They rushed into the abandon shed quickly, their feet quickly moving, their hair flying everywhere against the night autumn wind. There like 'A' had promised was Aria, her mouth covered in duct tape, and her watery eyes filled with fear. Her cheeks were stained with running mascara, and her dark hair was simply a mess. Her hands were tied up, and her legs were too. She was in the back off the dark, and damp shed, shivering with fear rather than the low temperature. She was on the ground, covered with mud and her clothes slightly damp, it looked as if some one had pushed her onto the ground, and into the mud during the large rainstorm that loomed over Rosewood earlier that day._

_She looked up startled, but after realizing the dark shadows were her friends, her hazel eyes popped open as she squealed under the duct tape. She shifted her body slightly forward, and her friends practically jumped to the ground to help their frightened friend mumbling 'it will be okay' and 'we'll get you out of here'. Tears came to their own eyes witnessing Aria trapped like this. Wondering how long she had been tied up like this.'_

_It all started that morning, it just seemed like a normal-monstrous Rosewood day, but it was much more treacherous and dark than the days before._

Hanna looked startled, as she shifted her aquamarine eyes between the two, she gaped her mouth open and closed three times, trying to figure out what to say. She sighed after realizing she had absolute know idea what to say. She looked at her friend down the hall with a sympathetic and worried expression, fearing this would be too much for the brunette. Then she tilted her head at the little boy, who looked more confused than anything. He had no idea of the dark past the two shared, he had no idea who this man before him was, and_ that man,_ he had no idea who the little boy was, unknown of the connection they shared. Although, that man was smart, and would surely catch on to the hidden truth sooner or later of that little boy known as Noah Hastings.

Noah looked at his mother squinting his big sapphire eyes. _Why was she acting so weird? _"Mommy, come on, don't be rude, say hi." He told her, refraining what she had told him earlier that afternoon, nearly twenty minutes ago when everything was simple...well as simple as it could be.

Normally Spencer would laugh at her son but, at the moment she just gulped, taking her little boy's hand tightly and pulling him towards her. The man in front of them seemed baffled at the little boy's words, and seemed to finally come back to reality. He shifted his matching sapphire eyes at the little boy perplexed. His lips parted as his blue eyes seemed to widen, out of surprise or out of realization? He was unreadable.

"What are you doing here?" She finally asked her voice stern, and demanding. The little boy glanced up at her, and then at the man. He knew his mom's tone, and that little boy _knew_ who ever this man was, she was not happy with him.

_That morning ... that started off wonderfully..._

_She woke up from a good night's sleep as her phone chirped alarming her to wake up. She yawned, and drowsily reached for her phone, pressing the 'snooze' button. Two minutes later, her phone chirped again, but it wasn't her alarm clock, it was something much better. It was her sweet and loving boyfriend. 'Good morning. :) Have a good day at school, I can't wait to see you later.' She read, as the huge smile spread on her face. After dismissing her alarm, she went back to reply. 'Have fun working, but don't use all your energy up, because you're gonna need some later tonight. (; and I cant wait to see you either. xoxo' which he replied with a flirtatious text to parallel hers and wished her luck on the trig test she was making her self go crazy over all week._

_Her morning was good, and she knew she aced that trig test. All was well until later that afternoon, after school, and before the evening came closing into Rosewood. To start off the events of troubles, Toby had called her and canceled on their date; saying he had to work over time. He seemed to be working a lot lately, and Spencer was happy for him, she truly was, he was working his way up to the business he was planning to start. Although she wished he would slow down the work load, and spend a little more time with her. Perhaps she was being selfish, and wanted her boyfriend all to her self, but how could she not act like that? He was perfect...so she thought._

_"Who was that? You look like you just got a C." Hanna said from across the small table, taking a sip of her latte.  
_

_"Toby," She sighed looking at her phone screen which was occupied with Toby's picture, that was also her back ground. "He canceled our plans." She huffed, her mocha eyes still glued to her phone._

_"Again?" Hanna furrowed her blue eyes. "That boy sure is busy."_

_"Or just doesn't want to see me." She mumbled unconscionably._

_"C'mon Spencer, he's not avoiding you. He's just been busy, you're the whole reason he's still in Rosewood." She exclaimed. Although Hanna's words were true, Spencer still felt doubt running through her mind. Ever since he came back, she was scared he would leave again. Scared he would get tired of her complicated life, and leave. But, this time never come back. She felt so foolish, but she had fallen in love with him. Yes, Spencer Hastings had fallen in love with Toby Cavanaugh. Perhaps, she had fallen in love with him a long time ago, but only now admitting it to her self. _

_"Yeah, you're probably right." Spencer said taking one last glance at her phone before stuffing it into her sweaters pocket, and squeezing her eyes shut as she felt tears gathering up. She had been so emotional lately. Especially, when dealing with a certain Cavanaugh boy._

_"I am right." Hanna said with a smirk flicking a blond piece of hair out of her eyes. "Me and Aria were gonna go catch that new movie later, considering were both single," She winked. Half of the statement was true. Hanna was secretly dating Caleb due to A's threats and Caleb's protection. Aria on the other hand, was single or at least on a break from Ezra. After telling Ezra the truth, of how she knew about Malcolm before Maggie had broken the news to him finally, he had said he needed some space. That he needed some time to think about all of this, and he needed to do it alone. Aria, was heart broken, but she knew it wasn't over for the two. She wouldn't let that happen. "We can have a girls night. Em should come too, but I think she's going to some concert with Paige." Hanna giggled._

_"Knowing that Paige is safe now, they actually make a pretty cute couple." Spencer smiled taking a sip of her black coffee._

_"Who makes a cute couple?" Emily said as she sat down with them, now on her break gladly._

_"You and Paige." Hanna smiled teasingly._

_"I'm glad you guys like her now." Emily said solemnly. But the blissful moment between the friends didn't last long, for their phones simultaneously started to chirp, vibrate, and ring. They all exchanged nervous mixed with annoyed glances before opening the text. "I wonder who it is." Hanna said sarcastically as she opened the text.  
_

_They all sat there reading the text slowly, scanning their eyes pass each word trying to understand what it meant. " Look at you pretty little liars all together and giggling. Oh wait, one's missing? Can you find her before it's too late? - A" Spencer read aloud timidly. "Aria." She breathed darting her frightened mocha eyes at her two other friends, whom mirrored the same expression._

_"Has any one talked to her since school?" Emily asked._

_"No, but-" Hanna said dialing Aria's number quickly, but that did her no good. It went straight to voice mail. "Her phones off." Hanna said with a sigh._

_"That's it. Were going to the police-" Spencer began interrupted by the music of their ringing cell phones. _

_"If you bitches ruin my agenda, Aria's time will be up before you even walk out of that police station. Follow my rules, and play the game the right way and you'll win your friend back." Emily recited swallowing hard._

_"Ps. The game starts at the last place you spent with Ali." Hanna said quietly._

_"My barn?" Spencer asked nervously._

_"Probably." Hanna responded hesitantly. They had all seen Ali a couple times since then, at the hospital, out side of the barn Emily fainted in, in Spencer's living room, but 'A' couldn't have meant that. Looks like they were on another one of 'A's little scavenger hunts. What fun._

"I'm-" He spattered finding it hard to keep his eyes off the confused little boy. "I-" He stuttered. It's like he forgot English, no he had forgotten how to speak all together. His mind went blank, and his tongue fumbled around the insides of his mouth as he returned his eyes back to Spencer nervously. She looked livid. Her death glare was worse than the ones she gave him when she thought he had killed Alison. Her brown eyes were full of furry, and lips were quivering as if she was keeping so many harsh words in, only because there was a four year old present.

The blond stood on the side lines moving her head between the show down. This was not going to be good, "Hey Noah," She cleared her throat nervously. "Wanna come in and get some lunch?"

He looked at the man, and then his mother curiously. "Go with Hanna." Spencer said to the little boy as calmly as she could. This wasn't his fault, and although the anger inside her was boiling, she wasn't going to take it out on her innocent little boy.

The little boy seemed dazzled and weighed his options. He knew his mother was in a bad mood, and he didn't want to get in trouble and have to have a time out like the last time he didn't listen to her. "Okay," He mumbled looking up at her with his big blue eyes. Next, she let go off her little boy's hand and watched him make his way towards Hanna. Hanna came over and took the groceries from her friend and cased a worried glance at her and whispering 'If you need anything, scream.' before following the little boy into the apartment, and closing the door behind her.

Toby glanced at the door as it slammed, and Spencer crossed her arms with a sharp inhale. "What are you doing here, Toby." She demanded again, this time a little more forceful than before. "How did you even find me?" She went on. "Did you come back to start torturing us again-"

"No." He said finally.

"Then what."

He took a step closer, and she took a step back. "Who is he?" He asked softly.

"Who's who?" Spencer asked, even though she knew exactly whom he was referring to.

"That little boy; Noah?" He asked with uncertainty.

"It's none of your business." She spat. "Tell me why you're here."

_The three best friends went to Spencer's barn as fast as their legs could carry them. Surely enough, they found a note. A note from no one other than A, taped to the small door leading into the barn. Spencer pulled off the note, and studied it carefully. _

_"Good luck bitches, you're going to need it_

_First off, something simple, if Aria's parents ask, she's with you. This shouldn't be too hard for you liars._

_Emily, how's your dad? You don't know? Looks like we'll just have to make something up, won't we? Give this letter to your mom, it wouldn't be the first time you lied through a letter.-A"_

_Spencer read pulling the page back to reveal an unsealed envelope stapled to sheet of paper. Spencer handed the envelope over to Emily reluctantly. Emily shakily took the envelope, and took the letter out. She read it over, tears coming to her eyes. "A wants me to give this to my mom?" Emily breathed out, her watery brown eyes shifting between her friends and she let her arms fall to her sides._

_"What does it say..." Spencer asked glancing worriedly at Hanna._

_"That my dad went missing a couple days ago, and they aren't sure...they aren't sure he made it." She choked._

_"Em," Hanna said softly wrapping an arm around her._

_"Emily it's not true. A's just messing with us,-" Spencer tried._

_"I know." Emily whimpered. "But my mom doesn't know that." _

_Spencer shot her a sympathetic look before comforting her along with Hanna. "Look, I know it's going to be hard, but we have to do what A wants, Aria's life depends on it." She said softly._

"I came back a couple weeks ago..." He said hesitantly. "I looked you up, and it said you went to a community college around here, and I started looking for you. I found Hanna's bakery and-" He sighed, "Look you should talk to Hanna about this."

"No, I want to hear it from you." She demanded.

"Well, she told me to leave, and never come back. But, I didn't listen. I kept coming back, but you never seemed to be there. Then I ran into Aria, and she told me where you lived. So I came here, and I probably shouldn't have-"

"Aria told you where I lived?" She asked baffled.

_After Emily reluctantly gave the letter to her mom, and listened to her mothers sob echoing through their home, 'A' probably was satisfied. "I can't believe I just did that." Emily said staring hopelessly into space._

_"It was for Aria." Spencer said taking her friends hand and squeezing it, Emily glanced at her, and mustered her best smile she could do. _

_"What do we do now?" Hanna asked almost afraid of the answer._

_"Wait for A." Spencer answered, the same fear lingering in her own voice. A did not keep them waiting, next came a rhythm of texts, followed by three groans, and three clicks. _

_"Emily, don't be such a mope. Just keep playing, and you'll get the other letter." Emily read her brown eyes filled with anger, and her voice low and full of guilt. _

_"Hefty Han, you've tried destroying your fathers wedding, and now your going to destroy your mom's relationship with holy pastor Ted. Be creative, but you better get the job down this time - A" Hanna read aloud, annoyance in her voice which quickly faded to sorrow. "I have to ruin my mom's relationship?" She looked at the other girls who returned a soft gaze. "I guess A got tired of ruining our lives, and decided to move on to our parents." Hanna sighed, hints of sarcasm in her voice._

_"Look, you guys." Spencer sighed shifting her brown eyes between her distraught friends. "It's been two hours since Aria went missing, and I don't know if this will make you feel better or worse, but a lot of stuff can happen in two hours." Spencer said worrying dearly for her tiny little friend with the name of Aria._

_"I know, I just" Hanna fluttered her eyes looking up at Spencer. "I wish there was another way than doing everything A tells us to do."_

_"Me too," Spencer said honestly, "But for right now we just have to play A's sick game, we don't have enough time for any other option." _

_"Spencer's right," Emily supported glancing at the brunette first and then meeting eye contact with the blond. "If we don't do what A says, who knows what will happen to Aria." _

_"I know," Hanna dropped her eyes on Emily's bed spread. "It just sucks." _

"Yeah," He answered softly. "Look Spencer I've made some mistakes but, if you would just listen to me. Please." He begged, his blue eyes filled with hope, but looking deeper you could see the despair. The hurt, the pain and suffering the man had been through. The hope, was just a glaze, it could easily be broken away to reveal the misery inside.

"Some mistakes?" Spencer scoffed nastily. "Right, some."

"Look, you have every single right to hate my guts, but Spencer? You can't act like you're a saint. And maybe I shouldn't be talking but, if it will get my point across-" He knew he shouldn't have crossed that line, that line from talking, to fighting. But he knew it had to be done. He needed her to know that he wasn't perfect, but neither was she. He needed her to look at this situation with a newer perspective.

"I said I was sorry for treating you that way, okay? But, guess what? You kissed me. You didn't have to help-" Spencer began to say, the frustration in her voice rising.

"I'm not talking about that. I'm not talking before we were dating, I'm talking about during." He said coldly. "The whole time we were dating, you don't even think to take the blame for what Alison and you all did to Jenna? The police were done with, and that was fine. You helped me get away from that town, and Jenna. But, you could have at least fessed up to my parents who still gave me crap about it, till this day." He exclaimed harshly.

"I didn't-" She began to protest.

"I'm not done. I may have lied about a lot of things, but you did too."

"I was trying to protect you!"

"And you never thought for a second, I was doing the exact same thing?" He asked the question that caused silence in the yelling chaos transpiring between the two. She breathed heavily, her chest moving up and down, her frustration visible. Their eyes didn't drop the fierce eye contact, and she couldn't find a single word on her tongue.

He sighed, a more distraught rather than, angry look washing over his face."Then for weeks you were totally playing with me, in every way you could. Then you don't even have the decency to tell me yourself, that you were with some other guy, and now that he came back, I just meant nothing to you." He said his voice fading as he breathed heavily watching her every move diligently.

"Are you talking about Wren?" She asked slightly confused. All he did was nod. Spencer's forehead knitted almost unconscionably. How did he not know that was just another lie to protect him, he was A? He was the reason he needed protection, so she thought. He was the reason she had to lie every single day to him. Sure she could tell him, that was just another one of her little lies to protect him, but she saw the hurt that took place on his face and she almost wanted it to stay... at least for a little longer. He had caused her so much pain, and sadness, that she wanted him to at least feel a fraction of how she felt. "Look whatever I did, nothing compares to what you did. Why would you do that to Aria?"

_After deciding to frame Ted of cheating, they had to wait. Wait for Ted to leave so Hanna could obey A's orders, and ruin her mother's relationship even if it killed her to do so. _

_Hanna sat cross legged on her bed, her fingers tapping together anxiously, and her eyes focused on a blond strand of hair hovering over her face. Emily, sat on Hanna's couch occasionally stealing a nervous or worried glance with one of her best friends. Spencer, sat at Hanna's desk, her lips tight and her thumb pressing into her palm roughly due to all her nerves building up as the dark night came upon them quickly._

_"When will he leave already?" Hanna finally huffed, the strand off hair blowing away from her face for a mere second. "He's been here all day," She said stepping up to walk towards her door to peek outside."I just want to get this done with."_

_Spencer's phone beeped which caused both friends to dart their alerted eyes at her. "Is that A?" Hanna asked rushing over to Spencer, with two large steps._

_"Toby," Spencer's voice trailed with relief. Her friends both let out sighs of relief, before Hanna re-positioned her self on her bed...continuing to wait for the torture she would soon cause._

_The text read 'How's your night? I'm so for bailing on you:/ .' Spencer quickly replied with 'No, don't be, it's fine. I'm with the girls'. It wasn't a lie technically..._

_"I'll..." "It was nice seeing you" "Goodnight, Ashley." Came in mumbled and distant voices from the Hanna's ajar bedroom door. Hanna locked eyes with her two other friends, before jumping up and dashing to her bedroom door to peek at the scene taking place downstairs. As she watched Ted leave, and her mother giggling strolling into the kitchen, Hanna couldn't help but feel tears as she thought of what she needed to do, and how heartbroken it would leave her mother. _

_"Wish me luck." Hanna murmured to her friends before walking out of her room, and into the hell she was about to cause._

Toby sighed, rolling his head down, and threw his hands outwards. "You know what? You're wasting my time. Leave me and my friends alone, and just stay out of my life.." She said harshly, before stomping off into her apartment, past Toby. She shut the door behind her swiftly, and she could feel her heart racing, and her oxygen levels drop. She felt as if she just ran three miles, when in reality she had just had a short conversation with Toby Cavanaugh.

_After breaking the news, which wasn't true, to her mother of seeing Ted with another woman. Her mother seemed reluctant to believe her daughter, but Hanna did her best to convince the lies to her. Although A seemed satisfied, because the trio had received three new texts saying 'Nice work bitches,' accompanied with an address that Hanna recognized slightly. "I think I know this place, it's Mona's old cottage. We use to go their all the time." Hanna said fear in her voice.  
_

_"Mona's behind this? How could that even be possible?" Spencer asked widening her mocha eyes._

_"It's fifty minutes away," Hanna said briskly avoiding her friend's question._

_"We'll I guess were going on a road trip..." Emily's voice trailed as they all exchanged worried glances._

Her son looked up at her, startled by the slam at the door, from the small table he was coloring at, and Hanna glanced at her from the small kitchen where she was making mac and cheese for the starving four year old. Hanna looked more worried than before, and her little boy was now running up to her with a grin on his face and a piece of paper in hand. She crouched down, displaying her best smile, and picked him up. "Mommy, here. I made this for you." The little boy said, as she took the piece of paper from him. She looked at it, a genuine small smile forming on her lips. It was a picture of her in a castle, with a crown, and the little boy was also featuring in the picture with a sword guarding the castle. Hanna also was in the picture, wearing a crown also that resembled a bakers hat. The sun was smiling, and the bright colors made the picture shine. He was quite the drawer or color-er in this case for a four year old. She assumed the ability was passed on by his father, considering the artistic talent he displayed in high school. The thought of him made her cringe, and her genuine smile faded, which was quickly covered by a false one.

"I love it." She cooed at her son, "Thank you." She said placing a peck on the top of his head. Hanna stood from afar the worried look still glued on her face.

"Noah, you're mac and cheese is done." She announced with as much enthusiasm as she could muster.

"Yum," He beamed "I'm starving." He announced before Spencer walked her way back to the table, setting him down on the small chair, and removing the papers so he could have room to eat. Hanna served the little boy his food, and then nodded her head towards the hall at Spencer desperate to know the details of the conversation that just took place. Spencer reluctantly did so, after making sure Noah didn't need anything else.

The two women hurried into Hanna's room, Hanna closing the door behind her swiftly.

"Why didn't you tell me Toby was back?" Spencer asked folding her arms across her chest, beating Hanna to whatever she was planning to say. "I thought you guys were done lying to me about all of this." She exclaimed.

"I'm sorry, okay?" Hanna said frowning. "But, I just couldn't let him hurt you again. I was trying to keep you safe."

"I'm so sick of people saying that," She rolled her eyes exasperated, throwing her arms out and pacing around the small room. "I don't need your help, I need the truth."

"Okay!" Hanna said sternly. "I'm sorry Spencer, okay? I'm really sorry. I should have told you."

Spencer sighed, and stopped in her tracks, looking at Hanna as if she was lost. And she was. "No I'm sorry." She sighed, brushing her hands through her bangs stress-fully. "Look, you were just trying to help, I get it. I just, I don't know."

"What'd he say?"

"Not much," She sighed. "Just how he came back here for me? And Aria gave him our address?" Spencer said still flustered.

"What?" Hanna blurted with a gape. "Why would she-?"

"I don't know. I need to talk to her, who knows if she even did." Spencer said biting her lip to restrain the frown twitching on her face. "Will you watch Noah, I need to talk to her. Now." Spencer asked pleadingly.

"Yeah," Hanna nodded with no hesitation. "Of course."

_After arriving at Mona's cottage, the girls looked around frantically into the darkness, trying to find some sign of Aria. Then they spotted the large spray painted 'A' on the shed, the girls hysterically rushed over, and pried the doors opened, eventually making their way inside. _

_They rushed into the abandon shed quickly, their feet quickly moving, their hair flying everywhere against the night autumn wind. There like 'A' had promised was Aria, her mouth covered in duct tape, and her watery eyes filled with fear. Her cheeks were stained with running mascara, and her dark hair was simply a mess. Her hands were tied up, and her legs were too. She was in the back off the dark, and damp shed, shivering with fear rather than the low temperature. She was on the ground, covered with mud and her clothes slightly damp, it looked as if some one had pushed her onto the ground, and into the mud during the large rainstorm that loomed over Rosewood earlier that day._

_She looked up startled, but after realizing the dark shadows were her friends, her hazel eyes popped open as she squealed under the duct tape. She shifted her body slightly forward, and her friends practically jumped to the ground to help their frightened friend mumbling 'it will be okay' and 'we'll get you out of here'. Tears came to their own eyes witnessing Aria trapped like this. Wondering how long she had been tied up like this._

_After pulling off the duct tap, and Aria letting out a painful wail. They did their best to untie the poor girl as quickly as possible and then helped her back to Hanna's car. Aria's mouth was red, and her wrists and ankles were stained with rope burn. Her hysterical wails hadn't stopped, and she was wrapped in Spencer's arms as Hanna drove away out of the horrible setting and back to Rosewood; which wasn't much better._

_Eventually, Aria calmed down. They also had arrived back in Rosewood. They took shelter in Spencer's house, settled before her fire place where most of their sleepovers took place on days...like today. Spencer had made Aria some tea, and gave her a fresh pair of clothes. After Aria seemed to calm completely, her friends warily began to ask questions._

_"Aria what happened?" Spencer asked urgently tilting her head with compassion._

_"Did A hurt you?" Emily asked more worried than anything._

_"Did you see A? Who did this to you?" Hanna asked more urgent than Spencer._

_Aria nodded weakly eyeing Spencer warily. "Yeah," She sniffled._

_"You know who A is?" Spencer said almost bulging her eyes out. _

_"Yeah," Aria breathed, more weak than before._

_"Well who is it?" Hanna asked pressing her on for answers._

_Aria swallowed hardly, letting her eyes fall to the floor. "Toby." She breathed silently._

_"What?" Both Spencer, and Emily blurted baffled, it was almost humorous. Toby? A? Sure..._

_"What are you saying Aria? Did A like drug you or something?" Hanna added sarcastically, but there was hints of worry in her voice._

_"Aria," Spencer demanded more serious time. She shot up with a large exhale._

_"It was him."_

_"No, you have to have gotten it wrong." Spencer shook her head._

_"Spencer, it was him. I was told to go to that shed, alone or else A would hurt Ezra's kid, and make it look like my fault, and I walked into the shed...and then someone closed the door, and it was dark, but it was Toby. He tied me up, and duct taped my mouth, and he said I better keep quiet, but I couldn't not tell you, and I'm really just-" She rambled out of breath. "I don't know, I had to tell you, even though it's not sa-"_

_"You saw things wrong." Spencer said solidly, "You had too." She said, this time more fear creeping into her voice. The other girls shifted their eyes between the two, unsure of what had just happened._

_"Spencer, I know what I saw. He isn't safe, you even thought so yourself."_

_"That was before everything," She exclaimed harshly. "You're wrong Aria. He isn't A." She said bitterly._

_"I saw him, I heard him!" Aria protested._

_"You said it was dark," Spencer counteracted._

_"I-" She stuttered. "Yeah, but I could see. Besides I heard his voice, Spencer I'm sorry." She said keeping her voice full of sympathy._

_"No." She shook her head, with a large sigh. "You have to have made a mistake."_

_**Dun Dun Dun. Okay this was uber long 5,000 words ish. Like but reading it over, it didn't seem that long. It was mostly flashbacks because of obvious reasons, of me needing to tell the story haha. But, DUNDUNDUN... keep reading xoxo**  
_

_**Please reveiw, favorite, follow! Thank you so much, again. Truly.**_

_**More secrets and explanations and flash backs coming up. And don't worry, this isn't the last of Toby. (:**_


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Secrets are Kind of Like Quick Sand...

Aria sat a cup of green tea in front of the brunette and took a sip of her own, after sitting across Spencer at the small kitchen table. She took a small sip, and then put it down in front of her. "So what did you want to talk about?" Aria asked raising her eyes brows and setting her clamped fists together on the table, looking intrigued.

"Um," Spencer said watching the swirls she was creating, with her circling spoon, in her tea instead of her tiny friend. "I ran into someone today." She said her voice trailing, her mocha eyes were still on the tea.

"Oh, who?" Aria asked, completely clueless.

"He's from Rosewood," Spencer added.

Aria gulped, "Oh," She said tightly. "Who?"

"Toby." Spencer whispered, finally looking at her friend across the table who's hazel eyes were glazed with worries. She didn't say anything, but her red lips parted slightly, and she nodded her head slightly showing understanding. "He said something," Spencer said lightly. "He said you gave him my address?" She laughed nervously, continuing to stir her tea mindlessly. "Isn't that crazy?" Her voice faded from the silent nervous laughs to something more serious, with a hint of worry.

"It's not that crazy." She said meekly, her hazel eyes flickering.

"What?" She breathed finally stopping the circular motion she was creating in her tea, and putting the spoon down harshly onto the napkin beside her.

"I-" She spattered. "It's true." She admitted.

"Aria, what?" Spencer gaped, "Why?" She spattered. "You of all people, I would have never thought. Why would you do that?" She asked her words becoming more demanding as she went on. "What would ever cause you to think that would be okay? Why would you trust him, why wouldn't you warn me?" she questioned.

Aria let a low sigh, before glancing up at ceiling knitting her forehead worriedly. She bit the inside of her cheeks with quite a force, and balled up her fists, her sharp nails digging into her palms, and leaving red marks in their place. After all the years, the guilt had just kept building and building. She knew the truth would have to come out sometime. She knew she was going to be the one to have to tell Spencer. She knew she was going to hated by not alone Spencer, but Hanna and Emily too. She was scared, no terrified of the outcome, but this secret had been kept too long, and she needed to know the truth. Especially now.

"Spencer there's something you don't know." She finally said, stopping her friends interrogation and causing a puzzled look to form on her face.

"What?" Spencer asked.

"Look, I want you to know that I didn't know what else to do, and I had too." She exclaimed putting up her hands in a gesture.

"Do what?" Spencer demanded, growing impatient.

"There's a lot more to that night, than you think." Aria gulped, her hazel eyes locked on Spencer's.

"Okay," Spencer said her voice shaking as she stared deeply into Aria's eyes looking for the hidden answers she needed. But, all she found was nervousness and worries, mixed with guilt and anxiety.

Aria tried collecting her self, tried to figure out how she was going to put this, but she ended up blurting "I lied about Toby being the one who did all those things to me."

"Wait, what?" Spencer asked baffled.

"It wasn't him." She sighed letting her hazel eyes fall onto the table top. "I lied."

"What are you talking about Aria?" Spencer demanded firmly.

"Just listen okay?" She begged looking up at her stunned friend who barely gave her a nod, "So, A did send me a text saying to go to that address, but it wasn't Toby there. _It was Mona._" She confessed, as Spencer's brown eyes widened with surprise mixed with confusion.

"Aria, what-"

"Just please let me tell you before I don't have the courage to-" She pleaded, her hazel eyes filling with tears. "Look," Her voice cracked slightly. "I walked into the shed, and then someone shut the door behind me, and I turned around and it was Mona. She said she had a propitiation for me."

_"Hello Aria." Mona said viciously, her black hoodie framing her face._ _Aria nearly fell back at the surprise. She let out a small shriek and moved back from the physco in front of her.  
_

_"What are-how did you escape Radley?" Aria fumbled, her voice trembling with fear._

_"I have my ways." Mona's lips curled up into a more defined evil smile._

Spencer leaned closer her chocolate eyes alerted open, and unblinking. "She said that she would leave me alone, let me have it easy, if I just listened. She said she would let me and Ezra be, and I only had to do one thing." Aria went on.

_"What do you want from me?" She shrieked, her voice full of panic, and her eyes watering with worried tears. She felt her heart pound loudly, and she felt as if she moved she would fully collapse. Her shaking was tremendous and visible to Mona, which brought her joy._

_"Oh Aria, don't worry. It just involves some lying, and other props, but no need to get into that right now. You're the best liar right? According to your friends?"" Mona teased haughtily, her voice high and how she acted in Rosewood High as the 'It' girl with Hanna before she was discovered to be 'A'. _

_"what-what do you want me to do?" She sputtered, stiffing._

_"I'm going to tie you up, and leave you here, and you're going to tell those bitches it was Toby Cavanaugh." Mona ordered in a more deadly tone that would strike her as being a maniac, which she actually was._

_"Why would I do that?" Aria asked baffled. "You expect me to make Spencer believe her boyfriends A?" Aria exclaimed. "No, she'll be devastated." Aria said her hazel eyes landing on Mona's feet. "I'm not going to make Spencer believe her boyfriend's A."_

_"Who said I was lying about that part?" Mona smirked a sparkle coming into her dark eyes. Aria furrowed her eye brows taking in a deep breath._

_"What are you talking about Mona?" Aria asked._

_"You stupid bitches are so underestimating. You think you can topple all over everyone with out any consequences." She rolled her eyes, before locking them back with the terrified girl in front of her. "Well, you're wrong."_

_"What are you saying?" She demanded with all the might she could._

_"I'm saying," She clucked her tongue, and her lips yet again forming into another sinister smile of doom. "Toby being part of the A team isn't the lie," Aria couldn't believe her ears, no Mona had to be lying. She didn't know Toby well, but she knew how much Spencer loved him. Mona was just doing this to mess with her._

_"I- I don't believe you." Aria shot back._

_"No?" Mona said in her high pitch innocent voice, as she pulled out her phone from her pocket. "We'll see about that." Mona's voice trailed as Aria stared strangely at her. Mona put the phone on speaker, and signaled Aria to be quiet by raising a slinky gloved finger to her lips. Aria breathed heavily, and couldn't break her eyes away from Mona. She was searching for answers, but it was no use._

_"Hey Toby." Mona said smugly._

_"Mona." He said dryly. "What do you want?" _

_Aria gaped slightly, and her breathing completely stopped. That sounded a lot like Toby..._

_"Just making sure you didn't wander off, and you're waiting for that package." Mona said._

_"I am." He replied. "I don't see why you couldn't do it, have something planned Mona?" He asked, his voice full of distaste, but also vengeance._

_"Why?" She retorted. "Did you?" _

_"No." He answered immediately. _

_"Don't lie to me." She said nastily. "I know you had plans with her,"_

_Aria was completely entranced with the call between Mona and Toby. What the hell was Mona doing? Why was she giving this information away to Aria? What was going on?_

_"Okay, I did Mona. Are you happy?" He shot back with total disgust._

_"Yes," She smiled. "Talk to you soon, Toby."_

_"Bye." He said dryly. Mona ended the call, and then looked at Aria with approval. Her mouth was hanging open, and her hazel eyes were wider than usual. _

_"Was that- That couldn't be." Aria stuttered. "You did something."_

_"Look Aria," Mona snapped. "I'm growing impatient, and I wouldn't test me if I were you. If you're not going to take the bribe, than I guess i'm changing this into a threat." She said taking steps closer to Aria, backing her against the wall. "You either do as I say, or you'll be the next dead body they'll be looking for in Rosewood." _

_Aria gulped, and her eyes roamed around the shed. She could try to fight, but who knows what Mona had up her sleeve? She tried pulling out her phone, but Mona got to it first and threw it against the shed's wall hard enough for her phone's back to fly out, and the battery following. Now Mona was screaming, and Aria was trying to make a run for it. Mona tackled her to the ground and Aria let a groan of pain. "This is your last warning. Do as I say or else." she hissed into the tiny girl's ear._

"At first she said that if I listened to her, that she would leave me alone, that she would leave me and Ezra alone, if I told you Toby was the one who tied me up, and attacked me." Aria spattered, as Spencer's heart dropped into her stomach. "But I didn't go along with it at first-"

"What are you saying? Toby wasn't A?" She asked frantically.

"No, okay listen." She said meekly. "Mona told me that Toby was A, and then she proved it by calling him. It was him on the other line. Then she said that she would kill me if I didn't listen, and I tried to run away but she tackled me, and I just didn't know what else to do-" She said, her words all jumbled together and her hazel eyes squinting with sorrow."Spencer, I'm so sorry."

"So that wasn't Toby who did all those awful things to you?" Spencer asked hysterically. "You lied about everything?"

"I didn't know what else to do!" Aria defended. "He was still A! I didn't lie about that!" Aria exclaimed.

"Why are you just telling me this now?" Spencer yelled standing up. "Why would you wait almost five years to tell me?" She demanded.

"I just," She sighed also stepping up. "When the whole A thing was over, you were eight months pregnant, you seemed to be okay with Toby being A, and I just didn't want to make you go down that road again. He's still was A, it doesn't change-"

"No, Aria." Spencer shook her head sternly. "It changes everything!" She exclaimed. "For the past four and half years, I've never believed anything he ever said about loving me because I knew that he would never do that to my best friend if he actually loved me. I never listened to any thing he had to say about his explanations and reasons, and I was completely devastated because I truly believed he never loved me." She said hysterically, tears gathering in her mocha eyes. " I can't believe you would wait this long to tell me."

"I'm sorry." Was all Aria murmured. What else was she supposed to say? She had no idea her friend was still hurting from him. She had no idea that she had all those thoughts.

Spencer scoffed before rushing out the door, ignoring Aria's pleas to wait, and stay. Spencer was sick of the lies. Sick of the secrets her friends kept from her, whether it was to protect her or whether if they were just too cowardly to confess.

_Spencer glanced at the letter on the top of her desk for the twelfth time in the last thirty minutes. She couldn't believe her friends read it, they read it before she even read it. She tried to read it many times, she even opened the envelope, but only could read the first line which only consisted of 'Dear, Spencer'. How could her friends do this? Why couldn't they have just told her, and she would have forced her self to read the letter. No, instead they totally violated her trust, and privacy. They totally disregarded her feelings, and read the letter he left her. Her last connection to him. The letter that was meant for her, not her friends. _

_She didn't know what it said, or even if what it said was true. But it was still her letter, from him to her. _

_Not being able to stand the curiosity anymore, she grabbed the envelope, removed the letter from the envelope and pulled it out. _

_"Dear Spencer, _

_Knowing you, there is a big chance you won't even read this. But if you are, please keep reading._

_I want you to know that I love you. I need you to understand, that I love you. So much. I might have lied, a lot. But, I wasn't lying when I told you I loved you, I still love you. More than you'll ever know. I know it doesn't look like it right now, but you just have to believe me. I hope you will." _

_Her hands began to tremble as she read the letter, and her tears began to fall quickly._

_"There are things you don't know. You aren't safe, and neither are your friends. I don't know everything. It's not safe for you to know, what I know. I know I sound like you, but she get's a little mad when some one knows too much, just look what happened to Hanna. Knowing who's behind all this isn't going to stop them, you need to figure how to stop them. I tried, but failed. You're strong, and smart, and I'm sure you'll figure it out. Don't trust any one. _

_I know this isn't much, but just know I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. I'm so sorry for lying to you, and I'm sorry for leaving you right now. I'm a coward and I know it. Things will be better this way. For you, for me, for everyone. I know you have no reason to believe me, but I've never done any thing to really physically harm you or really put you in danger. I would never do that. I tried my best to protect you, and change their plans. But I still had to do what they asked of me of, to fool them into thinking I didn't love you, and that's why they turned on me. They figured out that my feelings for you were real, and outed me._

_ I told them a few things, I probably shouldn't have, and I did a few things to lead you into the wrong directions. But I'm not the one behind all this, I think you know who is. You just have to think a little more harder, and stop following the obvious leads, most of the time, she's just framing those people. _

_Love always,_

_Toby."_

_By the time she finished, there was multiple stained tear drops on the paper, and she was crying hysterically. God dammit, why did he have this much affect on her from a stupid letter? If he 'loved' her like he said he did, he would have given her answers, not this. He wouldn't have skipped town, and ran away instead of fighting. It made her sick, she held her body frame tightly, trying to hold her self together. She began to see blurry images, and she felt like she had not enough oxygen. She choked on her sobs so badly, that she started coughing furiously. The letter crumbled in her fists, and she weekly walked to her bed, her sobs slowly fading. _

_She set the letter down, and began to rub her now pink eyes. She thought she was done with the tears, but she was wrong. She breathed steadily, and collected her self, letting one last tear drop before breaking down all over again. She didn't even know why she was crying. She didn't know if she was crying because the reality of Toby, her Toby being A was once again sinking in, or if she just plain out missed him. It felt like so long since she had last seen him, let alone been with him. She just really needed him to be with her, but she knew that couldn't happen. And maybe, just maybe, this was closure. Maybe she was on her way to acceptance._

Spencer softly cried all the way home. After coming to a stop, she gripped the steering wheel tightly and let out a small wail, bowing her head down, and letting the tears free fall of her cheek bones into her lap. How could Aria lie to her all these years? Spencer didn't know what to do. She didn't want to be upset with one of the only three people she trusts, or _trusted. _She thought her friends always had her back, but apparently only when holding a knife.

She couldn't go inside like this, she couldn't let Noah know something was wrong. He would demand answers, being the nosy investigator he was, but he was also her little sweet boy. He cared so much for her, and she knew it would make him upset to see her in this bad of shape. She knew he would begin to cry as well at the sight of her own tears. He was so caring, she didn't know where he got it. So she gathered her self together with a stifled inhale, and forced her self to stop crying.

She looked a mess, luckily this morning, she didn't put too much make up on, but her eyes were a soft shade of pink, and puffed out deeply. Her skin was glistening with tears, and she simply just looked worn out. She grabbed a few tissues from the safety composite box beside her, and began wiping her eyes softly.

_A few days passed since the news of Toby being A dropped upon them. Spencer still didn't believe it. She still was reluctant to believe, the guy she was in love with, was the one behind all this. Aria had to have made a mistake, or something. It just couldn't be true. _

_Spencer hadn't been talking much to Aria since the night she delivered the news, she hadn't really been talking to Hanna or Emily who were beginning to tell Spencer 'Why would Aria make that up?' or 'Maybe you should listen Aria, he does have every reason to hate us'. More Hanna than Emily said things like this, but even Emily was starting to believe what Aria was saying to be true after not receiving any more texts from A since. Spencer thought they were all just panicking over nothing, he couldn't be this insane person in that faceless hoodie._

_But she hadn't been talking to Toby much either. Part of her, a small part of her, was beginning to fear that Aria was right. She had avoided all his calls, and texts, in the last three days, and he was beginning to think something was up. He had sent her a text nearly forty minutes ago saying "did I do something wrong? why aren't you calling or responding to me?" Why wasn't she? She didn't know herself._

_Spencer was knocked out of her thoughts, as she heard a creak coming from her door. She sat up immediately from her slouching position after seeing who it was, "Toby," She said raising her eye brows. _

_"Your parents let me in." He announced closing the door behind him. She stepped off her bed, and took a step closer to him. "Is there a reason you've been ignoring me? Did I do something?" He asked timidly. "Because, I'm sensing a cold shoulder."_

_"No," She gulped, folding her arms guardedly.  
_

_"Then what's going on?" He took a step forward, the two now only a foot apart._

_"Nothing." She replied dryly. _

_"Really?" He asked unconvinced, arching an eyebrow. She simply nodded, and he let out a sigh. "Spencer, please just tell me what's going on." He lowered his blue eyes pleadingly, removing the foot between them with another step, he attempted to grab her hand, but she flinched away._

_"I-" She gulped. "Where were you on Friday night?" she asked chewing on the inside of her cheek nervously._

_"Work," He responded instantly. "You know that." _

_"I guess it's just weird," She laughed moving her brown eyes downwards._

_"What?"_

_"You've just been working a lot lately." She murmured. "What are you working on right now?"_

_"A house." he retorted. "The team is short a few members," he said briskly._

_"Where is it? Maybe, I can stop by one day."She said eyeing him curiously._

_"Why would you want to do that?" He murmured, his voice becoming slightly higher in pitch. "It's just a house, nothing special."_

_"I just want to see where you're spending...all this time." She shrugged stiffly._

_"Spencer, what's this about? Because the last time I talked construction with you, you had your eyes glued to your computer, uninterested. _

_"Look, nothing." She sighed with a foolish smile, what was she doing? He was telling the truth, and she was just being ridiculous. He would never lie to her, let alone hurt her. She smiled slightly at him, "I'm sorry, I just I feel like we never see each other any more." She sighed reaching to him, to cup her hand on the back of his neck, and the other on his cheek. "I just miss you." She admitted solemnly._

_"I miss you too." He said sadly, letting his hand grip gently on her arm which was leading up to his face. "I'm so sorry Spencer, I should be with you more. I'm trying my best." He said, but their moment was shortly lived as his phone began to ring. As Toby waited to let it pass, Spencer took note and let her hand fall away from him, and back to her sides._

_"Aren't you going to get it?" She asked._

_"It can wait." He answered quickly._

_"No, just answer." She said._

_Toby reluctantly pulled his phone out of his jeans pocket, and what he feared most was staring right at him. It wasn't a contact, and it didn't have a picture. It was simply a number, but Toby knew that dreadful number by heart. It was Mona. He quickly pressed end, and shoved the phone back into his pocket. Swiftly removing the nervous expression on his face into a soft smile._

_"Who was that?" She asked._

_"No one." He retorted quickly. "Wrong number." He corrected himself._

_His phone began to ring again, and he clenched his fists tightly letting it ring. "You should at least tell them it's the wrong number." Spencer said glancing at the ringing phone, and then back at Toby._

_"I'm sure they'll get the point." he responded with a more colder tone to his voice than planned._

_She rolled her eyes down to the still ringing phone, and then it stopped. It caused a silence between the two, and she didn't even look at Toby, she kept her eyes on the phone. Suddenly, he reached for her chin, gently forcing her to look up at him. She had tears in her mocha eyes and her frown would be visible from a mile away. "Spencer," he cooed, "What's wrong?"_

_It was just a feeling in the pit of her stomach, a feeling of doubt, a gut feeling that told her he was lying. "I don't know," She said blinking and moving away from Toby. She paced around her room nervously. He kept his eyes on her for awhile, speechless. "Are you telling me the truth?" She finally stopped pacing, and looked him straight in the eyes._

_"Yes," His voice trailed nervously, his loving blue eyes flickering._

_"Was that a lie?" She asked immediately._

_His mouth parted briefly before he said "Spencer where is this all coming from?"_

_"You didn't answer the question." She whispered. "Please just tell me the truth, Toby." She pleaded._

_He gulped, what was she talking about? She couldn't know... could she? "I-" he stuttered._

_"You weren't working late on Friday, were you?" She asked, the pace of her words increasing. _

_"I, um." He mumbled. In a way he was... "Spencer," He sighed reaching for her hand, but she snagged it away quickly._

_"Was Aria telling the truth?" She asked narrowing her mocha eyes._

_"What? About what-" He asked before getting cut off by Spencer._

_"Are you-" She gulped backing away. _

_"Spencer," He murmured softly, he too had a gut feeling. She knew._

_"Tell me the truth!" She yelled._

_"I-" He stuttered. "I'm, I know about A." he said softly,_

_"What about A?" She asked hesitantly. Maybe, she was over reacting..._

_"A lot." He said._

_Or maybe she wasn't. "So it's true..." she said slowly, fear creeping in her mocha eyes. She wasn't scared of him, she was scared of the reality. _

_"What?" He breathed._

_"You're A." She chocked._

_"Spencer, it's not like that-" He defended._

_"You didn't deny it." She stated, tears escaping her eyes._

_"I've helped them, but i had-"_

_"Get out." She screamed._

_"Spencer, just let me explain!" He begged._

_"Leave!" She screamed again, her breathing heavily increasing._

_With one last glance at the broken girl, he left her room with a sigh._

**Wow there was a lot of flashbacks in the last two chapters, It will start getting more equal and eventually there will be like one flashback per chapter. So yeah. But, it's necessary. Sorry their was no Noah in this chapter really, Noah fans! I don't know how I feel about this chapter, to be honest. ugh. Tell me what you think?(:**

**Thank you sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo o much for the ****reviews&favorites&follows&asks on tumblr. You guys are great3 I feel the begining was gooood, and then the end, not so much? Idk. Tell me what you think! (:**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I dont own pretty little liars obviouslyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.**

**Netessatla: noooo, don't stop writing stories because of me! Lol! The world of fan-fiction needs you! Haha, but thank you very much (:**

**Also thank you to everyone else, you all make me so happy, and you inspire me to write this more, and more. Seriously thank you! I appreciate the feed back so much, I'm so grateful for all the reviews and follows and favorites. Honestly, your comments are so sweet. (:**

Chapter Six

The Box Where My Heart Lays

Spencer hadn't said much to Hanna about what Aria had told her the other day, and she hadn't talked to Aria at all since. She was still trying to understand why Aria would do that to her. She understood mostly about why she needed to do that_ at the time_, but why hadn't she told her somewhere down the road? To Spencer it wasn't about Aria protecting Spencer, it was about Aria protecting Aria. Aria was scared to tell her because of the outcome, and now look what's happened. It was a mess. She still didn't understand why Aria would just openly give Toby her address before even telling her. Actually she didn't understand why she would give Toby her address. Period. Sure, he wasn't the one who kept her hostage that night, but he was still a part of that sick team. He had to do _something_ to be considered a part of it. Spencer wanted to know, wanted to know everything. A was gone, and maybe she could finally get the answers she needed from him. But would that just be opening the door for him to come back into her life? She didn't know what to do. So, she was talking to the only person who wasn't lying to her about Toby being back in town. She had only found out after Spencer told her, including the whole story but, leaving out Aria's big secret. She didn't know why she didn't tell Emily, Aria deserved all the wrath from her friends, but Spencer decided she wasn't worth it. It wasn't her lie to truth up to, it was Aria's. If Aria wanted to try and be a good friend, she would have to start by fessing up the truth.

"Does Toby know about?" Emily said glancing at the little boy playing with blocks on the rug, building the blocks up into a house, or castle, or school, or buildings, or whatever the little boy desired to make, then destroying the creation and restarting again. Spencer didn't know if he was just destroying his creations for the enjoyment of being a little destroyer like kind kong, or_ Stich, _from _Lilo and Stich,_ which happened to be one of his favorite movies. Or for the logical purpose of wanting to start again, and build something new. Spencer wished her relationship with Toby was like that. She wished she could restart as easily as it was with blocks, but she knew that wasn't possible. They had only spent about a year together, but in that year, so much had transpired between the two. She couldn't wipe her memories clean of him, like she had tried millions of times before, and her trust for him was completely crumbled. Asides from that, they had a son. Whom she loved dearly, and was the one reason she was glad her and Toby's relationship happened. But, he would always be a reminder of the past, always a reminder that they most certainly did have a past. Starting over with Toby, wasn't an option.

"No." She replied. She wasn't planning on him to find out either. She didn't trust Toby, and she didn't want him in her son's life. He may have been his biological father, but she wasn't going to let him be a father figure to her little boy. She didn't want him in a ten feet radius of her son. Although, she never believed Toby would hurt her, or put her in harms way she knew he had a darkness in him, and she wasn't going to take any chances. Her son was the most important thing in her life, and she would protect him till the death.

"Are you going to?" Emily asked moving her dark chocolate eyes back on her friend. Spencer just stared at her, sipping her coffee. Did she seriously not know the answer? Why would she tell him? Even if she trusted him in the slightest, why did he deserve to know?

"No," She said after accepting Emily's question. " I don't even know if I'm going to talk to him, Em."

Emily didn't say anything to this. She hadn't said much the whole time she was over. "What are you thinking Em? What's wrong?" She asked, genially concerned for her friend. But, as Emily opened her mouth to speak, the little boy came rushing over.

"Come look what I made!" He exclaimed happily, dragging onto his mother's hand, and after she stood up, he did the same to Emily. They followed him over to his small play area, and listened to him explain. The boy certainly did ramble, like his mother. He also loved to show off his achievements, like his mother. The little boy had made a whole town of things, using some of his books as buildings, and he even pulled out his play train which he circled around the city. "This is our house, and that's Auntie Emmies, and that's uncle Jasons, and that's Uncle Ezra's and Auntie Aria's." He pointed to an assortment of blocks that he constructed into houses. Spencer herself, wanted to be like her destructive son, and put Aria's house into pieces, but that would be immature, wouldn't it?

"Wow, my house sure is nice!" Emily exclaimed playfully at the little boy.

"Thanks," He beamed. "I made it just for you!" He said smiling. Emily nodded happily.

"Can you making a swimming pool for me?" She asked.

"Sure!" He said. "Mommy, can I have a bucket of water-"

"No. Definitely not." She laughed.

"Why?" He whined.

"You'll make a mess, and you know how much mommy hates messes."

"I'll be extra careful, I promise!" He said seriously, looking up at her with his big blue eyes, that Spencer found it so hard to say no too.

"I'm sorry honey," She said sympathetically. "Maybe you could draw a pool, and put it in the back yard?" She suggested. The little boy looked to be pondering a moment with the idea, before he exclaimed a joyous yes, and went off running to obtain his materials needed for drawing which were in his room.

"I'm sorry," Spencer sighed with a smile that mirrored Emily's.

"No, don't be." Emily said her smile still present as they walked back to their coffee. As they sat down, Emily gulped. "I just want what's best for you."

Spencer looked at her friend curiously. "What do you mean?" She asked.

"You've just been through a lot, you deserve to be happy." Emily said solemnly.

"Yeah, and so do you." Spencer smiled. "Don't worry about me, Em. I'll figure things out."

"He was my friend too, you know." Emily murmured with a sigh. "And I know I wasn't as close with him as you, but it stung me too when we found out who he really was." She admitted.

"I know," She said softly. She wanted to Emily the truth about Aria, but what was the point? What if Toby had done worse things? She needed to talk to Toby first, and she also needed to have a chat with Aria. Her other friends shouldn't be kept in the dark about this. It wasn't fair.

Although, Emily was still in the dark about a few things, she always gave people the benefit of the doubt. And Spencer needed that. She needed someone to tell her that she should talk to Toby because maybe things will make a little more sense. Maybe the pain will fully, and finally go away. "What should I do Em?"

"I think that you can't really do anything, without finding out the truth, once and for all." She advised.

"But what if he just lies again?" Spencer asked with a frown.

"I guess you'll just have to listen to your gut." Emily suggested with a small half smile. Spencer knew that she couldn't fully move on without listening to him, she knew that as if it was a fact she read in a text book. But, what happens if she mistakes her heart with her gut? What if she lets him come into her life again out of pure weakness? She couldn't. She needed to be strong, and this one conversation would be closure. It would shut the door on their relationship, and maybe she could finally be at a full peace. When one door closes, another door opens right? But what happens if that first closed door doesn't lock?

_After reading the letter, she decided it was time. She cleaned her self up, and became determined. More determined than she had been in months. It was time to get rid of every reminder of Toby. First that rocking chair. At first she thought to give it to charity, but maybe she could burn it? He worked so hard on it, and all that work would be put to waste. Hell, who knows if he even made it. Maybe he bought it from some cheap garage sale, and then acted as if he was such a wonderful boyfriend, giving her gifts even when she wasn't talking to him. She decided she would burn it, lug it into her yard, and burn it. _

_Next was an assortment of CD's. She threw them to the ground, uncaring of the mess she was creating, and stomped on them. They broke into pieces, and the words on them varying from 'Spencer' to 'Spencer, I love you' shattered._

_ She went to her phone next, erasing his contact, and every picture they ever had together. Although erasing his contact wouldn't erase the seven digit number imprinted in her mind. And Erasing the pictures, wouldn't erase the images she had stored in her head of him, of their memories. _

_Next she went towards her bed, ever since she found out about his dark secret she had slept with a stupid fluffy stuffed monkey. He had won it for her at the fonder's day festival, when they were barely dating. She threw it in her small trash bin with a groan of frustration, and then went towards her closet. She had a few shirts of his, one being the one he gave her after their first time, she threw that one in the trash bin with more of a force than the other ones. But she stopped at the last one, the memories escaping her mind instantaneously. Not just memories of the shirt, or surrounding the shirt, but of their whole relationship. The good and the bad. How hard they fought for each other, and how many difficulties they went through to just be with each other. He seemed so sincere, so determined to fight the demons that kept them apart, but in reality he was one of them. He was the biggest reason they had parted all those times, she was just too love struck to notice... Spencer didn't even realize she was crying till now, as she saw a tear drop hit the blue shirt in her trembling hands._

_The shirt held so much meaning. She had worn it the night at the motel. He gave it to her sweetly saying she couldn't be comfortable in her tie, and he was right. She wasn't comfortable at all. But, when she slipped on that blue shirt, she felt more comfortable than she had in what seemed like forever. He had even joked with her saying 'Top or bottom' and then cutely mumbled 'just kidding' before throwing the soft blue shirt, that smelled just like him, her way. Even though she said she was fine, he still gave her that blue shirt. Their relationship was always like that, he would know when she wasn't 'fine' and then somehow he would make her feel better. He would cheer her up almost with no effort, all he had to do was hold her, and that was enough. She fell asleep in his arms so easily, and he was her safe place to land, which she desperately needed. She just needed him.  
_

_Anchors are said to be a symbol of hope, and coincidentally the image on that blue shirt was an anchor. Even though things seemed to just be getting worse in her chaotic life, he always gave her hope. He gave her a reason to pull through, because he was her motivation. He kept her going when she thought the torture would never end, because it had too. It had too because then her and Toby could be together without all the secrets, all the lies, and all the dangers that strained their relationship. He was her main source of motivation, and now he was gone, and her motivation was running dangerously low. _

_She remembered when she had told him he was never getting it back, and he had said he didn't want it back. He had kissed her the first time while she was wearing this shirt. This shirt was the beginning of their relationship._

_Instead of throwing it in the trash bin, like the rest of his shirts he had given her, she held it tighter, bringing it to her chest, and letting out a shriveled cry. Why did this have to happen? Why did he have to betray her? Why did he have to be that guy? _

_She couldn't part with the shirt, she just couldn't. She was still holding on to their relationship, and she hated that. She hated that she just couldn't let go, brush it off her shoulders, and move on. She hated how much of an effect he had-has on her. She use to be so strong, so immune to tears, and now she would be lucky if she was strong enough to last a day without crying._

_She hoped it was the pregnancy hormones, she tried convincing herself that it was the pregnancy hormones, but she knew it was more than that. She knew she wasn't fooling herself when she said she was fine. _

_She fell asleep that night in that shirt, and strangely it was the best night sleep she had in a long time._

"Mommy, read anotherer one. Please?" The little boy asked, as his mother tucked him into bed. She sat on the edge of the bed, her hands firming the blankets around the little boy.

"It's already past your bed time, Noah." She said with a small laugh.

"I'm not even sleepy!" He exclaimed widening his blue eyes. "See," he said trying to wiggle out of the secure blankets around him, but he was too slow. His mother had caught his hands, and stopped him from going anywhere.

"Sleep. Now." She said firmly patting his little hands, he let out a whimper, and Spencer sighed.

"How about this?" Spencer asked softly. "I'll stay with you until you fall asleep,"

"Okay," He said softly. Spencer turned off the night lamp beside them, and he watched her do so. He scooted over, allowing her permission to come on his bed. She sat up, her back against the bed rest, and her legs leading down the bed. She wrapped an arm around the little boy, and he held onto her like she was one of his stuffed animals. Or _'Aminals'_ in his case.

"Can you make up a story mommy?" The little boy asked drowsily.

"I'll try." She murmured. "Once upon a time, there was a..."

"Pirate." The little boy chimed in.

"Okay, pirate." She sighed. "He was a pirate since birth," She went on. "He was born to a pirate mommy and a pirate daddy, but they lost him at sea. The little pirate boy was then raised by mermaids, and mermen. But, the little pirate boy began to know better. He began to realize he wasn't like the other children, he didn't have a tail, or gills. When he went to his parents, they told him the truth. They told him he was really a pirate, not a mermaid like them. The now, mostly grown up, pirate was furious. So he left. For a while no one knew where he had gone. There were rumors of him getting lost at sea, but no one was really sure. But, in that time that-" She went on, making things up from the top of her head, until she heard her little boys steady deep breathing. She smiled admirably at him for a moment, before slipping out of the bed, and once again pulling the sheets and blankets over him. She placed a light kiss on her son's forehead murmuring 'good night'. With one last glance, She quietly exited the room, and entered her own.

It was a Friday night, which meant Hanna was off at Calebs. Which also meant she was alone, leaving her mind to wander. Although, her mind didn't _exactly _wander far, it always ended up at the same place : Toby. At least for the last few days, that was. She couldn't stop thinking of him, about what she should do, their memories, and just the overall fact that he came back. She could finally get some, if not all, the answers she had questioned about for years.

She couldn't be alone right now, not with her thoughts. They would torture her. They would make her do stupid things. Although it was too late, Spencer found her self opening a box that she packed away so long ago. A box, that she promised herself she would get rid off. A box that she never planned on opening. It was a box full of reminders of him, things she couldn't get rid of during her execution of Toby Cavanaugh.

Most of it was stupid things. Things she didn't even understand _why _she couldn't just toss out. Like the madlibs from the night at the motel. Spencer gave such outrageous words to him, that it made Toby poke fun at her. They had finished the book completely, laughing at the ridiculous stories they created. He teased her about her wide range of vocabulary, that whole night actually. After Madlibs, they played a game of scrabble, and he had somehow beat her by using the word 'Goofball'. It mad Spencer mad, but later she began to smile at the memory. She actually began to smile at a memory, of her _loosing_ , one of the things she hated most. She thought the boy was a wonder. He wasn't afraid to challenge her, and she learned to love that. But, now. She was trying her best not to break at the memory, she wasn't smiling, nor was she steaming with fury, but she was on the verge of tears.

She threw the mad libs book on the bed, and then went onto the next item. A picture he drew her. It was of her, and she was sleeping. She had fallen asleep one day when both were reading together, and then he decided to draw her. She teased him about watching her sleep, but he had told her she looked adorable. The portrait certainly was good, but maybe this was a sign. Someone had drawn the black swan's dress and who ever it was, certainly did have a artistic ability. The thought made her cringe, so she decided to set the paper down gently.

The next thing she pulled out, wasn't exactly unordinary. It was one of pictures she kept in her room of the two. It was the day she gave Toby his truck, the day he told her he _loved _her. After sharing their passionate kiss, Toby had told her she wanted a picture of her and the beige truck. Spencer giggled at his request, but nevertheless posed a smile in front of the truck as he took her picture. Jason, in viewing all this, said he would gladly take a picture of the two. Spencer had been wary of Jason at this time, but Toby had mumbled a reluctant "okay," before handing his phone over, so Jason could capture their precious moment. Each time she saw the picture, she became happier, and happier that Jason had taken the picture. She liked the picture so much, that she sent it to her phone, and printed it out to put in her room. The quality of the picture wasn't the best, especially now after quite some years, but the memories that filled the picture were blissful and magical. She never knew why she loved that picture so much. Probably because at that time, they were _so_ happy. Even though both sets of parents didn't support the two, they managed to be together, happily. It was before they hit any huge ice burgs. Their relationship was still new and_ just simply perfect._

_The next morning she woke, she found herself in his shirt. In that faded blue shirt that caused so many giggles, so many good night sleeps, so many kisses, and so many tears. But on that morning, she simply just mumbled a 'dammit.' she didn't cry, she didn't yell, she didn't let it get to her. She simply pulled it off, and switched into her outfit for the day. Afterwards, she cleaned the mess she made the night before, took out her garbage, and told her dad she was going to need some help moving a certain rocking chair out of her room. _

_After doing all that, she continued what she started the night before: getting rid of anything to do with Toby Cavanaugh. Although, some things weren't that easy to part with. Some things she just couldn't part with, at least not yet. For now, she would pack them away. She would pack them away for the future, when she will be was stronger, and could officially decompose of the items. For now though, she would pack those items up, along with the feelings, the words he had said, and the memories they created. She would attempt to move on, and pull through. She wouldn't let some silly boy ruin her life, she was Spencer Hastings, she was better than that. She would turn her life around, if not for herself, for her unborn child. _

_For starters, she would finally get rid of A. Once and for all. But to do that, she was going to have to forgive her friends because she couldn't do this alone. _

The lump creating in her throat began to hurt, and she couldn't hold it in anymore. A sob escaped her, and she forced her self to put down the picture, moving on, still in tears. Finally, she pulled_ it_ out. The shirt. His shirt. The first shirt he gave her. Her _favorite _shirt.

The faded blue shirt, with the anchor in the right corner. To most it was just another shirt, but to her it held so much meaning. Feeling the material in-between her fingers again was enough to send dozens of tears down her face. She had forgotten how easily she could break. She forgotten how fragile she was, and how something like a silly shirt, could trigger hundreds of tears. When opening that box, it was like, setting free all of the pain she had packed in all those years ago. It was a feeling of relief, but also a feeling of dread. A familiar feeling of sorrow, and sadness.

Being overwhelmed by the outcry of emotions, she stuffed the things back into the box once again. She stripped of her clothing, and then crawled into her bed, silently crying. She ended up crying her self to sleep, and would awake with glistening tear stained cheeks, and puffy eyes. The pain from the day would be washed away, and she would start anew. She would become stronger and stronger with each day, until there was no more tears. And then she could set her self apart from the box, that held so many feelings, and so many memories. She could move along from the box of emotions, and Toby Cavanaugh all together.

Maybe, she wasn't strong enough today... But the day would come.

**Sooooooooo. I know this chapter was a little slower, but I was planting some seeds, here and there. The flashbacks will keep telling more of the story of what happened to A, and about Spencer's pregnancy, and everything else. (: So yeah, this was more of a slow chapter, but I actually liked it better than my last two, because idk why but i was really iffy on those, (like the writng style) but yeah, I'm gonna stop rambling now.**

**So I hope you liked it! THANK YOU once again for the lovely reviews. Please keep them up, they make me feel motivated to write more. (: Okay I love you all, bye bye bye.**


	7. Chapter 7

Hi! Thank you so much for the reviews! Well, in this chapter. The truth starts to come out some more. And about Sparia. I adore them, so you can expect some moment between them. (: I don't know how soon though. By the way, sorry about the wait! Hope you enjoy, if you do or don't, tell me about it with a review!(: _  
_

* * *

According to Greek mythology the first humans were created with four arms, legs, eyes and two noses and mouths; afraid of there power Zeus split them in half, leaving them to find the other half of themselves. These are called our soul mates.

The universe is a funny thing, sometimes things go as planned. The plans you developed from your child hood stay the same, and you keep going down the path you intended on traveling down. Sometimes the signs that guide you through your life are clear as day, but other times...not so much. For some the path the travel down, is smooth, and balanced. There is a few curves, and turns, every now and then, but nothing to life-changing. Then there are others, who's traveling road's of life, consist of twists, sharp turns, and fog. Their lives are filled with unexpected events, and their path is never calm. There is _always _some bump in the road. But, as they grow, they get stronger. Those bumps in the roads, nearly seem like pebbles, while to the one's who's paths were calm and steady, would see the the bump as a challenge. To Spencer, she was one of those people whom had never ending twists and turns, and bumps, that attempted to slow her down. Although, this just made her stronger.

She had been through so much, that at this point, she knew she could make it through anything. Life puts a mountain in front of her? She'll climb it. Life puts an tortuous grand rapid river in front of her? She'll find a way to cross it. No matter what it is, she'll find a way to get through it. Because the other side, has to be better. If she can get through the hard times, she'll make it to the easier times; even if it's just for a little while.

Although, on her path through life, there is one thing she can't seem to just _pass,_ she can't just move on from, and can't demolish. Toby Cavanaugh. Every time she _thinks, _that detour is over, it comes back. Again and again. An endless cycle. As if she was going into a circle. She couldn't get away from him, if she tried. Maybe simply because of coincidence, maybe bad luck,or maybe because she hadn't gotten rid of him once and for all. _Maybe_, she couldn't seem to stray off the path that led her back to Toby Cavanaugh, because he was her destination.

Maybe, there is a such thing as _'soul mates'._

Maybe, he completed her in ways no one else could.

Maybe, he was her pure and true happiness.

Maybe, he was her true love.

Maybe.

Spencer laid in her bed staring at the sun that seeped through her navy curtains. She was laying on her side, and with a glance she noticed the clock change to seven thirty four. Normally, she would haven been up ten minutes ago. Preparing her son's lunch for day care, and brewing her coffee. But, today, she felt the need to stay in bed an extra ten minutes longer. She knew if she didn't get up soon, her son would come bursting through the door; pouncing on her bed, to wake her up. Although, she wasn't planning on staying in bed any longer.

She pushed the feeling of laziness aside, and sat up on her bed. She stretched her arms out with a yawn, and grabbed the back of her messy bun, to drag her hair out of the pony tail. She shook out her hair, and then stood up to start the day. Starting with her hygiene.

After changing into her outfit for the day, sloppily braiding her hair to the side, and putting on a slight amount of makeup, she went to go wake her son. Shockingly, he was still sleeping. It was a couple minutes past eight, and she had to get him to day care by nine fifteen. The daycare didn't really care to much about the time, they were paid anyways. But, she had class at nine forty five. To make it on time, she had to get her little boy in day care by nine fifteen. She had enough time, if he corrupted. He normally did, but just to be safe she would wake him up a few minutes earlier; most days, not today of course.

Luckily today, he was being cooperative. Spencer got him dressed in twenty minutes, and combed his hair. She told him to go brush his teeth, and make his bed, as she would prepare him breakfast. At first he seemed reluctant to do so, but after one threat of a time out, he was off.

By the time the little boy was at the table eating his frosted chocolate minute whets, the clock stroke eight-thirty. "Mommy," The little boy said as he filled his mouth with a spoonful of cereal. She looked up curiously, while preparing his lunch. "When we were doing this one thing the other day, Ms. Ellie told us to draw our family, and we had to tell the class about our families, and everything. And this one girl named Kara, said that she had two daddies." The little boy went on.

"Oh," She nodded packing the peanut butter sandwich into a brown paper bag labeled 'Noah'.

"Why does she have two daddies?" He asked curiously.

"Well, the two daddies probably love each other, and they wanted a daughter. It doesn't matter the gender." She awared him. "It's still a family."

"Yeah, but don't you need a mommy to have a baby?" He asked. Spencer didn't even know how he knew this.

"Well yes," Spencer's voice trailed as she picked up the lunch bag, and set it on the kitchen table. She took a seat next to her son, and smiled warmly. "But, sometimes there is other ways to get a baby."

"Like a stork?" His blue eyes lit up. Spencer laughed grabbing a napkin to wipe off the milk surrounding her son's lips.

"Yes." She laughed. Normally, she wouldn't feed her child false information, but for a complicated topic like this, she could certainly bend her rules a tad.

"Oh," He said gleefully. "Does everyone have a daddy?" He asked.

"Well," She licked her lips, inhaling a sharp breath. She wasn't expecting all these questions. She didn't exactly know how to address them. She feared they would lead into questions about his own father, which she would make up the answers to. Being a four year old, he would usually just forget. But, he was smart, and she knew as he got older, the questions would be more serious. "In some special cases, no."

"Like me?" He asked furrowing his eyebrows.

She nodded hesitantly, but luckily he just smiled, with a joyful giggle. For now, he would be okay with all all this. But he was only four, and the real world was just an imaginary place to him. For the time being in _his world,_ all is well.

_She went to her friends the next day, ready to end this all. For good. The first thing she said was "Fill me in on what A's been doing." And her friends were reluctant to do so, but they weren't going to question her forgiveness. They told her about A's latest schemes dealing with Hanna. 'A' had left pictures of Hanna and Wren kissing all over her bed. On one of the pictures, in red sharpie, it said 'I wonder what Caleb will think, when he finds out he doesn't know the WHOLE truth.-A'. _

_After the scheme 'A' had pulled, Hanna planned on telling Caleb. But, he already knew. He wasn't happy about the kiss, but he was more upset by the fact she hadn't told him. He was sick of secrets, and lies. He thought she had told him everything, but when he found out she hadn't, he was livid. All while Hanna was terrified. She feared 'A' would once again charge at her boyfriend. But, he was safe...for now at least. Hanna didn't know where their relationship stood, but she wanted more than anything for it to last. Which just pushed her motivation into getting rid of 'A' into high gear._

_Spencer was surprised, hearing her best friend and old fling, once had a thing. But, it didn't affect her. Wren was old news, and so much heartbreak has happened since him.  
_

_Spencer let her eyes roam to Jenna, after her friends seemed to be done explaining. "Do you think she knows?"_

_The other girls all glanced at each other wearily. They had a good idea of what she was referring to, but none of them seemed to have the bravery to form a response. Spencer glanced at her friends curiously. _

_"Maybe." Aria said silently. "But, wouldn't that mean-She would have to be part of it too?"_

_"Who say's she isn't." Spencer squinted her eyes at the auburn-headed girl who was now stepping up from her own lunch table, and towards the doors to enter the school. She returned her eyes to her friends, and they all let out a sigh._

_"But," Emily spoke softly. "Toby hates Jenna," She spoke hesitantly, afraid her friend would crumble. But, Spencer didn't even flinch. "Why would he be working with her?"_

_"Who's to say that wasn't a lie?" Spencer asked bitterly._

_"What about the video-We saw Jenna, y'know." Hanna said with a cringe._

_Spencer bit her lip, looking down with a puff. _

_"Maybe, they joined forces." Aria offered. "They both did have reasons to hate us, I mean... We thought they were A before?"_

_"We know Toby's A." Spencer said sternly, her brown eyes hardening. _

_"Yeah, but maybe our first suspicions were right." Aria said. "Maybe they're in this together. Or were."_

_"And Mona?" Hanna asked. "Mona hated Jenna, besides I don't know if you guys recall, but I certainly My hair smelt like smoke for a week. And I had to wash those clothes like twelve times, but why would Jenna walk into a building knowing it was about to explode? I mean she couldn't have known I was going to show up and save her." _

_"Maybe, she did something the A team didn't approve of? I mean, what if what he said in that letter was true, that the A team just has a whole military of people working for them?" She questioned._

_"What could she have done that would been bad enough for them to want to kill her?" Emily asked._

_"It's not like killing is a huge thing for them, Mona ran me over because I thought I knew who A was." Hanna reminded them._

_"Yeah, and Mona tried to kill me cause I wouldn't join their sick team. I don't necessarily think you have to do something that is actually bad, for them to want to kill you." Spencer added._

_"How does this even help us though?" Aria butted in. "We've been suspicious of Jenna for the past year,"_

_"We're going to talk to her." Spencer said solidly._

_"And what makes you think she'll tell us anything?" Emily laughed with disbelief. "Jenna, hates us."_

_"Maybe, what she said earlier this year is true. Maybe that person she was scared of, is A. Maybe she'll help us, if we help her." Spencer said._

_"So I'm confused-" Aria blurted. "Do you think she's working for A or not?"_

_"A's tried to make us all turn against each other right? Making us do things we don't want to do, because they can?" Hanna shifted her blue eyes between the three girls. "Maybe, that's how it is with Jenna. 'A' has something on her." Hanna's voice trailed. "And I agree with Spencer. I'm sick of waiting around, we need to be more direct." _

_After a moment of silence between the friends, Spencer sighed. "So we're talking to Jenna?"_

After dropping her son of at day care, heading for school, and listening to a two hour lecture, she found her self back in the comfort of her own apartment. She only had about thirty minutes till she had to pick up her son. Usually, she would go to school, and then his day care. She would wait on a bench out side, on the nice days, or in the hallway on the rainy or humid days. But, today, she came home. She had work later that day, and she was dropping her son off at his uncle Jason's. That morning he had forgotten his picture he had drawn, the one he so desperately needed to give to his uncle, and Spencer had told her son she would try her best to get the picture for him.

That's all she needed to do, was to get a picture. A silly picture of a monster her son had drawn for his uncle. That's all she was planning on doing, but she heard a knock come to her door as she was making her afternoon coffee. An unexpected guest was behind her door, and after opening it, her whole body locked. Her heart dropped into her stomach, and felt as if her legs were going to go out on her. She gripped the door knob with a more stern grip, trying to obtain her balance.

She didn't know why seeing him made her body act this way. She saw him the other day, it's not like him coming here again was _that _surprising.

"I want to talk." He said.

"Um," She mumbled avoiding her eyes. So did she. "Okay," She said hesitantly. After a second, she huffed, removing her body from the door way and into her apartment. She gestured for him to come in, and he did. He shut the door behind him gently, and silence filled the air around them.

He stayed a few inches a way from the door way, as she leaned against a not-to-far-away kitchen counter. "I don't have that much time," She said awkwardly. What were you supposed to say in this situation?

"Oh um okay," He mumbled with a exhale.

"Why didn't you tell me? About Aria lying?" She asked. "I mean, you have to have known. Why wouldn't you tell me?"

"At the time, I didn't know. When we were in your room, and you were saying all those things about Aria. I had no clue what you were talking about." He admitted. "I didn't even know _that _happened to her. After you threw me out of your house, I didn't know what to do. I ended up getting drunk, and it was just a mess." He trailed off exasperatedly. "The next morning, I made Mona meet me at that creepy hideout, and I asked about Aria. I asked what they did to her, and then she just laughed at me." He said his eyes becoming distant. "She said _they _didn't do anything, that _I_ did. Then she went on telling me exactly what I had done."

"Why would they do that to you? You were on their side..." She said giving him strange look.

"Somehow they knew I was going to tell you the truth."

"How could they possibly know that?" She asked. "And the truth? As in you being A? or?"

"Yes," He said instantly, with guilt in his eyes. "And suspicion is enough with them." He confessed. "They didn't trust me. I didn't trust them. I had their secrets, and they had mine." He said. "Every time they thought I was going to do something to jeopardize them in any way, they made sure I'd regret it."

She just stared at him, trying to absorb all the information he was giving her. "Like when?" She spoke softly.

He inhaled sharply and licked his lips. He finally returned to her eyes, and took a step closer. "I should probably start from the top." He said meekly. "Mona came to me when I got back from reform school, and she said she was planning to get back at all of you. The people of Rosewood were still treating me like something you scrape of your shoe, and she convinced me it was your fault." Spencer took in a deep breathe at the new information. "So, I agreed to help her. She just told me to get close to Emily, so I did." He said solidly. "I started to regret listening to Mona, because Emily was actually really sweet. At homecoming, Mona wanted me to out Emily to the whole school but, I wouldn't. I thought that it was done with. So I was planning to tell Emily, but she ran away. I was scared, so I ran away after dropping her off at the hospital. I stayed out of Rosewood for so long because Mona started to sound more of a stalker, then just someone seeking revenge, and the police started to believe I killed Alison. I was scared, and going back to Rosewood terrified me."

"But Mona wasn't kidding with her threats. I didn't just get into a motorcycle accident, someone drove me off the road. Everyone in Rosewood thought I was dead, and half of them wanted me to be dead. When I was in the hospital, Mona visited me. She said that, that was a warning. I knew I had to get out of Rosewood, but I had to see Emily and just clear my name. By that time, the Rosewood police were after me, and so was Mona. I was planning on leaving Rosewood, for good after explaining to Emily about Jenna and Alison, and everything." His voice trailed. "But she didn't seem to believe me. I was pissed, and upset, and I was planning on telling about Mona too. But, Mona just tried to kill me, and Emily didn't even believe what I was saying about Alison or Jenna. So, I ended up leaving that out. Then I got arrested, and put on house arrest." He rolled his eyes with a sigh, "And I was stuck in Rosewood."

"So you were on it the whole time?" She asked.

"Not exactly." He murmured.

"What does that even mean?" She said harshly.

"Just listen," He said with a sigh, letting his shoulders slump. "Please," He pleaded. Her brown eyes flickered, and after deciding she wasn't going to say anything else, he went on. "When I got put on house arrest, I was just a complete disaster. I was practically glued to Jenna, and Mona wouldn't stop coming by my house. Sometimes she would just be talking to Jenna, but most of the time she would be taunting me. She said she could get me out of this, if I just helped her like the original plan. I was mad, and upset, and I would have done anything. So I agreed again. And then I waited."

Spencer's eyes lowered down to the floor. She knew that this is where she came in.

"And then..." Spencer's voice lingered as the silence fell between them.

"And then, you came to tutor me." He stepped closer. "And things began to happen." He inhaled sharply.

"What kind of things?" She said looking up.

"When I was helping you with Jenna, I was helping you with Jenna. That was genuine."

"But nothing else was?" Her voice trailed with sarcasm and she shrugged her shoulders. "You were just directed into spending time with me, like you were with Emily?"

"No," He said abruptly. "No," He said again with a gulp. "I didn't even talk to Mona again till after I kissed you at the motel. I think that's why she framed you with the whole same fiber in the bracelet as the sweater thing. She knew I liked you, and the fact that I _betrayed_ her, made her want to destroy _my _life. I didn't know this then, but she framed me. She was just playing me the whole time. I think she was hoping I'd fall in love with you, for the sole purpose of making this one hundred times harder. A few days after I kissed you, and you were the new person of interest, Mona finally made contact with me. She said I still owed her, because she made you look guilty. I felt horrible, and awful. And she was just a bitch about the whole thing." He confessed exasperatedly.

"I'm really sorry," He said softly.

All Spencer did was tighten her jaw, and stiffen her shoulders. She showed no signs of forgiveness, and her hard eyes stayed on him. "Then she started to talk to me more frequently, I figured she was the same A who left the note at the motel, and well I didn't know what to do. The last time I didn't listen to Mona, she tried killing me. And I owed her. So I ended up helping her. That night at the founder's day festival, I told her exactly where we would be, and what time, and everything. She told me to wait until she told me to come, and I did." He admitted. "Then you just seemed so upset, and scared. You, the girl who seemed to be so strong, and brave, and everything. You were scared, and just." He sighed. "You chose me over your mom, and you didn't care who was watching, or about any one watching us. And right then and there, I think I started to fall for you. I needed out, and I was tired of running, so I was going to confront Mona."

"I kept putting it off, then a few days later, something happened." His voice tightened at the mention. He glanced around the room nervously. Nervous, that this would simply just sicken her even more. "I'm the one, who-" He said, his voice shaking. "I killed Ian."

Her mouth slightly parted, as she inhaled a great breath. She had dozen of scenarios in her head, where it made sense, if Toby had killed Ian. But, hearing him say it. That was a whole different story. "Why?" She asked her voice so soft that he had barely heard her.

"Mona said you were in trouble, and I just-I couldn't let you go. I wasn't willing to give you up." He admitted his eyes boring into her. His blue eyes were soft, and full of sorrow. Just looking at him, she didn't have to even question, that he was truly sorry. She didn't have to think twice, if what if was saying was true. Actions spoke louder than words, and she could see the deep pain within him. The regrets, and the guilt pouring out of eyes, and his words filled with desperation for her forgiveness.

Tears started to filter her eyes, so she quickly squeezed them shut, turning her head to the side. "I-" She stuttered. "I have to go."

"Spencer, please." He begged stepping closer, and she looked up into his big blue eyes.

"I actually do have to go." She said meekly. "But," She said with a swallow. "I-I want to know the rest."

So before she left, the two ended up exchanging phone numbers. Spencer needed sometime to absorb the new information, it was all to much. But, it cleared the worse thoughts she planted in her mind many years ago. He saved her life. He at least deserved to to explain the truth. Right?


	8. Chapter 8

Guest: I think you meant Noah, otherwise, I'm not entirely sure who you are talking about? hahaha but thank you (:

Summerhaze17: I have like 12443823 theories, and this is one of them! & Thank you lovely!

Unknown: Well, it varies. Sometimes it's every other day. Sometimes it's a few days. My quarter for school is ending soon, so that means tons of tests and projects. Gah! But, I'll try my best to work around those, and update as frequently as I can. & Thank you very much!

sammy777: Maybe.& Maybe. &Most likely because I love me some sparia. and SOON(ish).

And to everyone else, THANK YOU SO MUCH. Seriously. I'm going to tell you a secret...well it's a lame secret, and not necessarily a secret but whatever. I usually update at night, and then go to sleep. Then I wake up and check for reviews, and everything, and it just puts a great start to my day! (: Seriously, you guys are great. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

By the way, I forgot to put a chapter name last chapter. Lol opps.

Disclaimer: I don't own PLL or there would be no awful hiatus.

* * *

Chapter 8

Truer Words 

After dropping off Noah at his Uncle Jason's house, and watching the two play a short game of basket ball, so Noah could show her his new skills, she headed to work. To be honest, she wasn't really paying attention to the basket ball game between her son and half brother, her mind was somewhere else. That somewhere else being Toby Cavanaugh. The things he had told her were so much to take in. Her mind had a whole new set of questions developing. She was anxious to know the truth. She knew that the reason she felt so jittery wasn't the large amounts of caffeine she intaked, but the anxiousness of finding out the_ truth_, eating away inside her.

Hanna stepped into her bakery, darting her blue eyes around furiously. She locked eyes with Spencer, and Spencer could see the anger in her friend's eyes. Spencer knitted her forehead. Hanna, being the owner of the bakery, rarely had days off. On the days she did have off, she wouldn't step three miles in the radius of this place. Why was Hanna here? It couldn't be something wrong in the bakery, nothing was wrong. _  
_

"Spencer, we need to talk." Hanna whispered sternly after she stomped passed the waiting customers in line.

"I'm working." She said almost baffled.

"And I own this place, and I say we need to talk!" Hanna gritted her teeth. Hanna walked over behind the counters, and before dragging Spencer into the kitchen area, yelled at Ashley, one of her workers, to cover Spencer's register for a few minutes.

The kitchen was empty. It wasn't occupied during the day. All the baking was done at the wee mornings of the day, during the afternoon it was practically deserted. It was a small kitchen, for a small bakery. Hanna had an assistant baker, but other than that, the blond made all the bake goods herself. "Spencer, why didn't you tell me about Aria?"

Spencer opened her mouth to apologize but, stopped herself. Wasn't Hanna the one keeping secrets from her just the other day? "What does it matter, Hanna? It's over. It wouldn't have affected you anyways, and I only found out a couple days ago. And in my defense, I was still pretty mad at you for keeping Toby being in town away from me." She said, a coldness in her voice.

"This is completely different!" Hanna practically yelled. "And maybe it doesn't change that much, but I would like to know when my best friend's been lying to me this whole time."

"Well, how do you think I felt? Look, it was Aria's secret, not mine." Spencer retorted. Hanna let out a sigh, calming her self.

"I thought all the secrets ended in high school." Hanna murmured indifferently.

"Yeah, well." Spencer shrugged, rolling her eyes. "Did she tell Emily too?" Spencer asked.

"Yeah," Hanna replied. "She was pretty mad too. But, she was still there after I stormed out." Hanna said. "But, you better get back to work. I don't trust Ashley alone out there," Hanna glanced at the door leading to the other side of the bakery.

"Yeah, I'll see you at home?" Spencer asked.

"Yeah," Hanna offered a light smile.

_"Jenna," Hanna did a once over of the once blind girl, a disgusted look coming across her face. After school, the four best friends followed Jenna into the band room. They cornered her while her back was turned towards her flute, just as they had nearly a year ago. Emily glanced at Hanna, disprovingly, but all Hanna did in reply was shrug and widen her blue eyes, as if she was saying 'What?'. Aria let out a small sigh, and glanced at Spencer hesitantly._

_"We want to talk." Spencer said as calmly as she could. _

_"And what makes you think I'm willing to talk to you?" Jenna retorted glaring at Spencer. "You broke your promise. The way I see it is you should be doing favors for me." Jenna said monotonically__. _

_"We didn't break any promises." Hanna spoke sharply. "No one ever saw those videos." _

_"What do you want?" Jenna asked coolly._

_"Answers." Spencer said._

_Jenna cocked her head with an evil smirk. "I could say the same thing. Why did Toby leave, Spencer? What did you do this time?" _

_She took in a sharp breath. "What makes you think I had anything to do with it?"_

_"Don't you always?" Jenna smiled wryly. _

_Spencer broke the sharp eye contact with Jenna, and let her eyes roam to the sides of the room. Aria saw her friend's actions, and stepped up. "Jenna, we think you can help us, and in return we'll help you." Aria offered._

_"I don't trust any of you." Jenna hissed. "And I don't need your help." She snapped before stomping out of the band room._

After asking Jason if he could watch her son a little bit longer, and closing up the bakery, Spencer pulled out her phone, and headed towards the contacts list. It was a little bit after five, and the sun was still out and shining on that last day of July. It was a rather hotter than usual summer, and the temperature was still heated. Once she got out of the heat, and into her even more heated car and turned on the cool air, she stared at her phone. She was trying to make up her mind whether or not to hit 'send'. She had been thinking about him the entire day. She wasn't the type of person to take in information at a slow pace. She could intake a outrageous amount of information, and still manage to process it all. She was impatient, curious, and determined to know everything. So, she let her fingers press the send button.

After the first ring, she debated whether or not to hangup. After the second, she regretted even calling, and by the third he picked up. She couldn't go back now. "Spencer?" Was the first thing that came out of his mouth. Although, she didn't say anything back to quickly. This was all still _so weird. _

"Hi," She said softly, clearing her throat. "Are you busy?"

"Not really," He responded lightly.

"Do you think we could finish our talk?" She asked. This all felt so surreal.

"Yeah, sure." He responded instantly.

"Okay," She said awkwardly. "Um do you want to meet somewhere?" Spencer exactly didn't know where to go. Hanna would be at their apartment, and she wanted to do this in private.

"Um, sure." He murmured.

A silence fell between them. Spencer let out a small sigh.

"I think it would be better if we talked in private."

"Yeah," Spencer agreed.

"Should I come back to your-"

"Hanna's home." She interrupted.

"Oh," He said simply with a pause. "You could come to my place...it's not really...in the best shape, but we'll be alone." He suggested.

"Um," Spencer mumbled debating her options. A small reminder told her that he wasn't to be trusted, that he was one of those people who tortured her and her friends. But, like always, she couldn't find the feeling of fear. She wasn't scared to be alone with him, she should be, but she isn't. She never developed the feeling of fear for him. Even though she knew he was bad, in her heart he was always good. Part of her always believed that he did love her. That what they had was real. And this was Spencer Hastings. Unlike Emily, she never gave the people the benefit of the doubt. When someone seemed sketchy, she immediately pointed her finger. But here she was, believing there was good in her former boyfriend who betrayed her trust completely. Who admitted to doing some horrible things, and lying about it. But, somehow with him, it was different. She knew he did something bad, but something inside her, made her believe he had a reason. Something inside her made her believe his love was true. "Okay." She decided.

"Okay," He repeated, a scent of warmness in his voice. "I'll text you my address."

"Okay." She said solidly.

"See you soon." He said.

"Yeah," She barely spoke. And just like that the call ended. No 'I love you' or even a bye. Just a 'see you soon'. And in that moment she desperately wished something she hadn't wished in a while. She wished she could just once go back to the time where she was clueless, and he was perfect. Just for a little while anyways.

After he sent her, his address she inputted it into the G.P.A. She debated on telling one of the girls where she was going, that would probably be the _smart _choice. But, she decided she was a big girl, and she could handle this all by her self.

He didn't live to far. He was only twelve minutes away from the small bakery. He lived above a small pub. The pub wasn't very busy, but considering it was still pretty early in the day, that made sense. He told her just to walk in, and take the stairs upstairs. Once she was upstairs, there wasn't much around. There was two doors. One that looked to be leading to some storage unit. And another door, which appeared to be more sturdy. Spencer gulped. The nerves inside her kicked in, and she could feel her hands shaking as she knocked on the more sturdier door.

After two knocks, the door flew open. Her eyes met his, and for the first time since seeing him again, she really started to notice the visible changes. For one thing he got even taller, and appeared to have even more muscle than before. He had some stubble, and his face matured. He looked more warn out than she had ever seen him before. All that stayed the same was his intoxicating blue eyes. "Come in," He spoke softly, letting her pass through the doorway.

Her whole body felt heavier than usual as she walked in slowly. He wasn't kidding when he said it wasn't in the best shape either. The wooden floors was in a serious need of a wax job, and the paint on the walls was chipping away, revealing the brick behind it. It wasn't very homey either. It was a huge open space filled with practically nothing. In the corner was a small kitchen area. In the middle of the room was a mattress, and a few books. Bags were almost everywhere, and the two fans blowing on the floor signaled that the still ceiling fan was most likely broken. It seemed so desolate. So empty.

She heard the door close behind her which made her jump a little. She came out of the trance she was just in, and her brown eyes landed on the man in front of her. "I'm sorry for the mess. I haven't really done anything with the place yet." He admitted.

"It's fine." She said tightly. Knowing Toby, he would make this horrid place into something beautiful, but she wasn't here to talk about that. "I want to hear the rest of what you have to say." She said solidly, addressing him in a business type matter.

"Okay," He huffed shortly.

"You said you saved me from Ian. Why?"

"Why?" He mimicked almost in shock. But she just stood there, staring, awaiting an answer. "I told you...I couldn't let you go. I didn't-I wasn't thinking of the consequences," He fumbled on his words. "I was just thinking about you."

"That's a pretty stupid thing to do." She said, a small amount of warmness lingering in her voice.

"Maybe it was. But," he inhaled sharply. "I wouldn't take it back for anything. I wasn't going to let him hurt you... and I did what I had to do. I didn't know Mona's plan at the time, but it didn't matter. I just couldn't lose you. If I thought about the consequences, then who knows if I would have made it in time."

"If you would have just listened to me, then you could have just walked away."

"I told you I would be there for you, if you needed _anything, _remember? I may have lied about a lot of things, but that wasn't one of them." He said solemnly. "And it would never be that simple. I wouldn't be able to just walk away. I_ couldn't_ just walk away. You...were the only person who actually made me happy. As much as I was saving you, for you. I was doing it for me too. I was in a really bad place for a long time, but when I was with you... it was different. Things finally seemed like they were getting better. "

She stood their motionless. Her deep brown eyes locked on him. She slightly opened her mouth, but no words came out. Her mind drew a blank, and she had no idea what to say. "Um," She mumbled quietly. "Can you just go on." She requested.

"After I pushed Ian, Mona said we had to get the body out of there. So I carried his_ lifeless _body to her car. I had to get it done fast, and some how we got out of there before the police showed up." This made Spencer cringe. The whole town called her a liar, her parents called her a psycho. "Mona drove us to some barn with Ian's car, and we made it look like a suicide. Mona wanted me to write the letter, saying it had to look like a guy's handwriting, but it couldn't just be _a suicide letter._ No, Mona's plan was more than that. There was a code involved. After we finished that, the night wasn't over. We drove Ian's car to train station, and then caught a bus back to Rosewood. We didn't even get back till like five a.m. I couldn't sleep though, even though I was exhausted. A few hours later, I stopped at your house. I had to see that you were okay." He admitted.

"But, you know what happened there..." His voice trailed. "Anyways, later that day Mona told me how she owned me now. She had evidence. I didn't know what to do, she didn't give me a choice. But, I wasn't about to hurt you. Every time she wanted me to do something, I put up a fight. Or messed up her plans. I was supposed to bug your room, but I didn't turn it on. I told Mona, that maybe there was something wrong with it, but she didn't believe me. She didn't trust me. Since she didn't trust me, she said that I would have to help her in a different way. For awhile she left me alone, but then she wanted me to make Jason look guilty. And I figured it was better throwing you off track, then hurting you. So I did it. The hockey stick, picking up that yearbook, pointing out the shadows in the window when we were in my truck." He sighed.

"Then you broke up with me." He said softly, a hint of sadness present in his voice. "I thought Mona had something to do with it, but she kept telling me she didn't." He rolled his eyes. "I went to the police station against her orders. I didn't care what she said, I knew that it had to do with her. Especially, when you told me you couldn't be with me because it wasn't safe. But, Mona kept denying of doing anything. Then the scaffolding thing happened..." He voice trailed with a sudden numbness. "And Wren." He said dryly. "And Mona said that she had nothing to do with it again," He breathed "And then Wren confirmed that he kissed you, and I knew that you liked him before. And It just.."He looked up with a sigh.

She parted her mouth slightly. She didn't know whether or not to tell him the truth. He was fessing up, and maybe she should too. Their whole relationship seemed to be built up on lies. "That wasn't true..." She sad meekly.

He knitted his forehead at her slightly, and opened his mouth to speak, but she beat him to it. "I lied, e_r Emily _lied about Wren and I. Yeah, he kissed me after we broke up, but _he kissed me._ I didn't stop him," She lowered her eyes. "But, I was just really vulnerable. I had to break up with you... Mona sent some creepy dolls, and in order to keep Dr. Sullivan alive, we had to follow their demands. Mine said 'Keep... Toby safe.'" She said, her voice completely broken. She thought_ that_ was pain, the first time she had to break up with him. But, after finding out he was A, that simply seemed like a bump in the road. "So I broke up with you. But, I messed up. I kissed you, and then you ended up in the hospital. That was Mona. I made Emily lie, so that you would be safe." She confessed. "I didn't know what else to do. So I made up that lie about me and Wren. I never cheated on you." She admitted.

He let out a groan, and ducked his head down. He squeezed his eyes shut, and looked up, almost lost. "I should have known." He clenched his jaw. "She would have done anything to keep us apart..." His voice trailed glumly. "For me to hate you." He said softly.

A silence once again fell between the two, this time, one that lasted a little longer.

"After I thought you.. y'know," He said not wanting to bring Wren into the conversation yet again. "I was mad, and sad. And upset." He admitted glumly. "Then I left Rosewood. I actually left. Mona was pretty mad... Then I came back."

"For what?" She said firmly.

"When I was away, I stayed in contact with Jenna." Toby said distantly. "I was warming her up, so I could get answers from her." He said.

_The next morning a surprising guest accompanied them at their lunch table. _

_The once blind girl took a seat without warning with an indifferent expression on her devilish face. "Hello," She greeted nonchalantly. They all glanced over at her dazzled. Why was Jenna sitting with them?_

_"Um, hi." Aria greeted, confusion in her voice._

_"You said you wanted my help? Right?" Jenna said, jumping right into the conversation they had the day before._

_"Yes..." Spencer's voice trailed skeptically._

_"Well, I've decided to help you. But know this, if those videos get out. You'll regret it." She said wickedly. "Meet me in the ally behind the brew at three o clock." She whispered before walking away saying nothing else._

_"Are we sure that we trust Jenna?" Aria asked softly to her other friends._

_"Yeah, this could be a trap." Emily added._

_"Maybe. But, for the past year and half, we've been pointing fingers at Jenna. Maybe she's just A's little helper." Spencer said._

_"If she's A's little helper, doesn't that mean she wants to hurt us?" Emily asked._

_A pregnant paused passed between the friends. "Sometimes, people do things because they are scared. Maybe, A's threatening her." Aria said shyly._

_"A's tried doing it to us." Hanna added._

_"I don't know." Emily said shifting uncomfortably. "This all just seems... sketchy."_

_"So do you not want to go?" Spencer asked indifferently._

_Emily furrowed her eyebrows, worriedly. "I guess we can try..."_

"She didn't tell me much." He said. "All she said was Mona was planning something, that could change everything. I had to stop running, and come back. I didn't know what she was planning to do, but it scared me to death, knowing that whatever it was, there was a chance of you getting hurt. Even though I still believed you were with Wren, I still loved you. So, I came back. I was cold to you for a reason... Mona had to believe I hated you now. I had to gain her trust again." He said. "Although, in the end it didn't really help. I didn't ever find out her big plans until visiting her in radely. Anyway, all Mona wanted me to do, was get Dr. Sullivan to come back. I had to nearly_ force_ her to come back."

"Why did Mona want her back? Wasn't she the one who wanted Dr. Sullivan out of Rosewood in the first place?" Spencer asked.

"I wasn't sure at the time. I was just listening to Mona's orders... but, later Mona told me everything. She was never planning on killing you. She had a good feeling that you wouldn't join her. She didn't think you were going to push her down that hill..."

"I didn't push her." She interrupted. "She fell."

"Well, the point is. There's a reason Mona didn't take your phone while you were unconscious. She wanted you to call the police, but you ended up calling Emily and the others. Mona was planning to stall, and fight with you till the police showed, but those plans sort of fell apart."

"Why would Mona _want_ me to call the police?" Spencer asked astonished.

"It's what they all wanted, for you to _think _your safe. They wanted to catch you off guard. They had new plans, and besides; locking Mona up in radely didn't mean she wasn't part of the team. She had ways of escaping."

"So... they wanted that to happen?" Spencer asked stunned.

"I guess." He mumbled.

"And why did they need Dr. Sullivan?"

"So Mona could stay in a mental hospital rather than a jail cell. Mona was _crazy, _and probably belonged in a mental hospital, anyways. But, Dr. Sullivan had connections. Mona probably would have just ended up in jail, if it weren't for her." He said dreadfully.

"If it weren't for you." Spencer added.

"Yeah," He answered shamefully. "For me."

"But, the threats about her son... wasn't that true?" Spencer asked meekly.

"Yeah," he said. "I told her if she came back, that he would be okay." He said biting the inside of his cheek.

"But, he ended up being murdered..." Spencer added.

"Yeah." Toby said tightly. "He had some guts. More than me." He said, his eyes far way. "They poisoned him... they knew he was highly allergic to some medicine. I forgot what it was called... but, he knew too much. And they feared he would tell Hanna." He said.

"Why didn't they ever kill you?" She asked timidly. "If they were suspicious of your feelings about me... I mean I know they tried, but..."

"They needed me. I was useful.." he said taking in a deep breath. "They used Lucas until he was no longer useful. That's what they did with everyone. That's why they tried killing Jenna. If it wasn't for Hanna, there's no way she would have survived that. They attempted to kill me a few times... but, I guess I was lucky." He said meeting her brown eyes again. "It sure as hell, scared me though."

And as weird as it was, Spencer felt lucky too, that he didn't disappear forever like the others.

"Why were all those people in this... I just don't understand." She finally blurted.

"Everyone has a motive," He said softly. "Some people are really good a manipulating people, those two combined, aren't a good match. And once you were in, it was _really _hard to get out." He said dryly. As Spencer stared at him perplexed, completely in a trance.

_The four girls reluctantly met their former arch enemy behind the brew that afternoon. Each one of them had their doubts about this. Especially Emily. _

_"I didn't think you were going to show." Hanna 'greeted' Jenna as she arrived twenty minutes late._

_"I could say the same to you." Jenna shot back._

_"Look, we didn't come here to have some girl time, Jenna." Emily said._

_"And I thought you were the nice one?" Jenna said back. Emily didn't respond, but instead eyed the brunette skeptically. She didn't seem to notice though-or care for that matter. She ignored Emily, and her emerald eyes landed on Spencer. "So, what happened to Toby?" She asked again._

_"He left." Spencer said briskly._

_"No duh, Spencer." Jenna retorted. "I want to know why."_

_"I can't tell you that without some answers of my own." Spencer responded. Jenna cocked her head to the side. "Who's threatened you?"_

_"I can't tell you that, but it's the same person who's been threatening you." She said._

_"How does that help us?" Hanna said clueless._

_"A?" Emily asked hesitantly._

_Jenna nodded stiffly. Her strong expression fading away into fear. _

_"So do you know who this person is?" Spencer asked._

_"People." Jenna corrected her. "And I know a few. Now, what happened to Toby?"_

_"__You don't know?" Spencer asked meekly._

_"I think I do." Jenna said bitterly._

_Spencer glanced at her other friends. "He's part of that team..." Spencer whispered._

_Jenna nodded, pursing her lips. "And he left because you found out?" _

_"I don't... I think." She said, the words barely coming out of her mouth._

_"Well, of course he did." Jenna muttered bitterly under her breath, rolling her eyes. "Well, I guess we're in this together now." Jenna said indifferently. "Well, first of all, if you didn't already know, Mona's still in on all of this."_

"Anyways," He swallowed hardly. "Mona told me to keep doing what I'm doing. Stay with you, and gain your trust." He said. "That's all I had to do. And you were safe...for awhile anyways. I knew they weren't finished, but for the time being...you were safe. I wasn't lying to you anymore. And everything was perfect for those five months." he said softly. "But, then it started to happen again." He sighed. "I had to help them again, and pretend like you weren't important to me."

"What-what did you do?" She stuttered.

"The night Emily was kidnapped..." He said monotonically. " A lot of people were involved." He said softly. "Including me..." He said. "Lucas drugged her, and took the pictures. I'm the one who kidnapped Emily from your house." He confessed.

She widened her eyes. "I-I purposely lost her though. I dropped her off at a diner, and I said I lost her while I was in the bathroom. I knew that I was going to get in a lot of trouble, but I thought maybe I could ruin their plans. I felt bad for leaving her there, but I figured she would be better there then with me. But, in the end it didn't seem to matter. They found her, and the plans followed through.." He ducked his head down. "I'm so sorry." He added sadly.

She gulped. If he hadn't kidnapped Emily from her house, then maybe none of this would have happened. This was a lot to take in all in one day. She needed time to process this all. She was wrong she couldn't process this all, all in one day. "I should probably go..." She said timidly, her eyes filling with tears.

"Spencer, Please." He pleaded softly.

"I just-" She wetted her lips. "This is a lot to take in. And I just. I should go." She said rushing towards the door. She raced down the stairs without even a second look back.

* * *

I hope that was long enough? Sorry for the wait, I've kind of been like not motivated to write. I've been so tired from school, and I have so much homework, and agh. But, I hope that was good for you guys.

Please review and tell me your thoughts!(:


	9. Chapter 9

Thanks for the awesome reviews/follows/favorites! (: Love you all!

Disclaimer: I don't own PLL

* * *

Chapter Nine

Happy

"I don't wanna play with Sean today." The little boy complained, his small voice filled with whines.

It was a Thursday morning, an early Thursday morning. While Spencer still had classes on Thursdays, Noah did not. Noah didn't have day care on Thursdays nor Fridays, or of course the weekends. Another way of saying it was that, Noah only had day care on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays. Which meant he would need someone to watch him on those early Thursday mornings. Usually, Spencer would have Aria watch her son. But, do to recent discoveries, she hadn't been doing much talking with the tiny brunette.

Sean was a boy from Noah's daycare. The two boys were sort of friends, but not the best. Although, Spencer was friends with Sean's mother; Tiffany. She too was at a very young age, raising a child as a single parent. She was a little bit older, two years. Spencer didn't know the the whole story-over time Spencer had realized that there could be much more to a story-but, she knew the father was out of the little family of two's life. Tiffany got pregnant at Twenty, and gave birth at twenty one. The father was always on the go, and apparently got some job offer, he couldn't refuse. It was all very sad, really. But, no one could defeat the dysfunction that Spencer _could_ bring to the table. She chose to keep the story, short and simple though. He was her high school boyfriend, a year older, and moved away before she had the chance to tell him. Adding that she wanted him to have a better life because of how complicated things already were between them. She tried to make herself look like the good guy, but was that a crime? She was the good guy. If she told the truth to people, they would most likely send her to a physco ward. So like the many times in her high school years, she simply just lied. Although... it was kind of true. Toby did leave town before she could tell him... and things were _way_ to complicated to mense.

Speaking of Toby, she hadn't talked to him since his attempt at telling her _the truth._ It had only been a couple days, but he had called her a couple times already. Saying '_I know this is a lot to handle, and I'm sorry. But, I hope you'll give me the chance to finish.' _and '_You have every right to never talk or listen to me again, but I hope you will'. _It's not that Spencer wasn't planning on listening to him, she most certainly was-she craved answers, almost as much as she craved caffeine-but, she just needed some time. Some time to think, maybe? Besides, hearing him beg almost made her smile. She knew it was _tad bit __narcissistic_ of her to_ want_ him to suffer, but could you blame her? He put her through hell, worse even. The least he could do was walk on egg shells for a couple days. Although, he would be walking on egg shells a lot more longer than a couple days...

"You have to. Mommy, has school. Don't you want her to get her education, so we can have money to do fun things?" Spencer asked as she pushed a bowl of scrambled eggs towards him.

"Like what?" He asked clueless as he began to dig in to his scrambled eggs.

"Like," Spencer's voice trailed. "Going to the mummy exhibit."

"What's a eks-gibit ?" Her son once again said clueless.

"It's a place where they have all these cool things you can look at! and they are very interesting, and-"

"Wait," Her son interrupted. "Are muo-mmies those things in_ Scooby Doo? _The one where they go into that cave place, and they find those peoples wrapped up in toliet paper?" He asked eagerly.

She nodded.

"Cool!" He stated with a smile. "When can we go?" He asked.

"Well, I promise I'll take you there next weekend. You have to buy tickets, and everything. But, first you have to go to Sean's house, and act like the polite little boy-"

"I'm a big boy!" He interceded.

"Fine,polite _big boy _" She smiled. "you are."

"Okay," He sighed.

"That means no saying you rather be anywhere else." She informed him. "Act like you are enjoying your self, and be nice to Sean, and Tiff." She told him sternly.

"But isn't that lying?" He tilted his head at her. "I wanna be at Aunty Aria's." He began to whine, and sounded to be close to tears. Spencer looked at him sadly. Things were _so complicated_, and he was so innocent. He was very close to Aria, and Spencer knew it wasn't fair. But, what was she supposed to do? Just forgive Aria that quickly? C'mon, she may have changed since high school, but her stubbornness stayed the same.

"I'm sorry hun." She soothed him, and he sniffled and looked up to her. "Maybe you'll see her next week." She said, and instantly regretted it. One of the things she hated most about her parents when she was little, was that they could make promises, they couldn't keep. They would tell her they would be at her dance recital, but she wouldn't see them. They would tell her they would take her to see the 'festival of lights' almost every year, but they didn't. It was just some stupid festival, that occurred during Christmas. You could buy these flying lanterns, and send them away by the end of the night. By the end of the night the sky would be filled with flying lanterned lights instead of stars. The whole place, which was usually a outdoor museum, would be decorated with Christmasy things. Santa Clause was there, and even reindeer. And the whole place would be decorized with thousands of colorful lights-so Spencer's heard or, read in her case. Every year she would read the brochure, practically memorizing it like she would be taking a test on it the next day, but something would always come up. Her parents would have work, or some other priory more important than her to attend to. Spencer was over it.

"That's a long time!" He pouted. "I want to go there now." He cried out.

"Noah," She warned him sternly. He pouted and then went back to his scramble eggs.

_"Thanks for coming with me." Spencer sighed as she waited for her name to be called, in the waiting room._

_"Yeah, of course. I wasn't going to let you do this alone." The brunette smiled dearly putting a caring hand on her knee, and squeezing it. "I'm glad you finally made an appointment. How far along are you, anyways?" she asked._

_"Eleven weeks?" Spencer said with uncertainty. She had been keeping track for awhile, but now in between finding out who A was, being pregnant at seventeen, and catching up on school work, she didn't even know the day of the week. Most of her days just seemed drawn out, and never ending. When she went to sleep at night, they simply just felt like naps. "I think?" _

_"Really?" She bulged her hazel eyes. "You aren't even showing!" Aria exclaimed._

_Spencer smiled at her friend, and then looked down at her stomach. It was hard to believe a person was growing inside her. "Miss Spencer Hastings." Someone called from the front desk. They stepped up, and walked over to the woman at the desk who directed them into the room down the hall where she would attend her first pregnancy appointment, with her best friend at her side._

Without warning, the brunette traveled to her former boyfriend's loft after class. Tiffany had texted her saying she had took the boys out for icecream, and they weren't back yet. Sure, Spencer would have to deal with a more hyped up four year old than usual due to the sweets he was taking in, but it gave her time to listen to the rest of what Toby had to tell her. Maybe, she should have texted him, but it was too late now. She was standing outside his door, knocking away. Practically pounding. After a couple of minutes, Spencer assumed he wasn't home. She should have known better than to just show up at his door. She was about to drag her feet down the stairs, but the door opened before she even turned around fully.

He looked more dressed up than last time. Well not dressed up exactly... Last time he was wearing sweats, and a shirt with some logo Spencer didn't recognize on it. Today he was wearing a dark red sweater and dark denim jeans. His hair looked wet, as if he just got out of the shower. Well, that explains why it took him so long to come to the door...

"Spencer?" He said as more of a question than a statement. His eyebrows furrowed slightly, but he opened the door more.

"Um, hi." She said hesitantly. She probably should have called. "Sorry I didn't call, I just" Her voice trailed off. "Are you going somewhere?" She asked.

"Uh, not till an hour or so." He responded. "Do you, do you want to come in?" He asked awkwardly, stepping to the side allowing her access to a pathway inside.

She mumbled a 'sure', and stepped inside. Even though, it had only been a few days, he seemed to have gotten a lot done. The walls were painted, white. It kind of looked like an insane asylum. The smell of smoke was replaced with the smell of paint, and the old ceramic tile in the kitchen looked as if he was working on taking it all out. Cans of paints were in the corner, and the ceiling fan still wasn't moving, while the ones of the ground were.

"Um, it kind of smells like paint. Sorry, I just painted. You probably shouldn't lean against any of the walls either." Toby advised glancing around the room, a nervousness in his voice.

_Kind of? _"It's fine." She stated plainly. By now, she didn't even have to tell him the reason she was here.

"So, I'm guessing you didn't stop by because you wanted another look at this... _amazing place_?" He asked looking around the dump of a loft.

"Not exactly." She said squinting her eyes at him. "Why didn't you ever tell me?" She asked bluntly, and almost out of nowhere.

"Um," He mumbled.

"Everything you've said to me." Spencer looked around the loft, simply just an excuse to avoid his deep blue eyes. "Making Jason look guilty, kidnapping Emily," She shrugged. "None of those things are worse than, that you were lying to me. The whole time," She finally looked into his eyes. "You simply just let me believe you were some one different entirely."

"Spencer," He sighed sadly meeting her gaze. "I'm not a lie. The things I said to you, the things we did, they weren't lies." he defended.

"Yeah," She scoffed. "You are a lie." She said flatly. "Look," She looked down, "Part of the reason, I...loved you so much," She said quietly "was because you were honest. You were the only person in my life that I felt like was sincere, and true. I don't know. I just I thought you were different from everyone else," She said her voice cracking.

All he did was stare blankly, a frown clearly present on his face, and his blue eyes filled with sorrow. "I'm sorry" is all he could say. A few depressing moments passed, before Spencer pulled her head up and forced her self to look at the man who broke her heart.

"Just finish," She requested meekly.

_After Jenna had told the four girls that Mona still indeed had to do with the mess of A. They decided to pay her a visit. Hanna, and Aria both had already seen the former-well present-stalker since she was locked away, but Spencer and Emily hadn't. Facing Mona wasn't enjoyable. Spencer was actually terrified, although she didn't let it show. The last time she had saw the girl, she was threatening to kill her if she didn't join the morbid team. Spencer, of course, declined._

_Radley Sanitorium wasn't exactly welcoming either. Hanna and Aria had told them they would have to sneak in if they wanted to really talk to Mona. So here they were, sneaking through the dark and desolate halls of Radley, chasing down their first known tormentor._

_When they walked into the room, Mona was at her desk. She had a set of cards in hand and was shuffling them, in the dark. The scene sent shivers down Spencer's body, as they stepped further into the room. _

_Mona seemed to become aware of their presence, and turned her head towards them, keeping her body faced to the desk. She smiled a little. Hanna stayed indifferent, Aria looked disgusted, and Emily looked worried. Spencer's expression, on the other hand, was unreadable. _

_"Spencer," Mona acknowledged. "How are you sweetie, I heard that you and Toby broke up, and he left you with his baby. The rumors in this town, aren't they just the craziest?" _

_Spencer shuttered, but kept her hard glare._

_"Cut the crap Mona." Hanna stepped in closer to her former best friend. "We know you're still behind this all."_

_Mona just stood up, and looked at each girl individually. As if she was inspecting them all or something. "Well, sit why don't you?" She asked, not to any one in particular._

_"Did you not hear us?" Aria spoke up violently. "We know it's you."_

_"What's me?" Mona asked._

_"You're A." Emily said hesitantly._

_"Isn't everyone nowadays?" Mona said rolling her eyes and taking a seat back down on her chair. She turned to her desk, and began laying out her playing cards. All the girls looked at her more closely as she went on. "I mean I swear. You start something, and it just drags on and on-" Mona's voice trailed._

_"Mona," Hanna warned. "Specify everyone." She demanded._

_"Oh, I can't tell you that." Mona said lightly, still facing the cards. "It's a secret. I promised I wouldn't say."_

"I drove Caleb's mom of the road." Toby confessed. Spencer gaped, sure he killed Ian, but Ian was the bad guy right? Caleb didn't even have to do with this. Hanna and him had broken up shortly after, and Hanna was left heartbroken. _  
_

"Wh-What" She said baffled.

"It was to scare her." He said lifting his eyes up to the ceiling. "I made sure she would be okay. I called 911 immediately after. I'm sorry."

"I'm not the one you should be apologizing to." Spencer said. "How could you do that?" Spencer asked, fumbling on her words. She didn't know why this triggered her tears, and cracking voice, but it did. The lump in her throat felt like it was about to bust any second now. "I mean you of all people should understand. You tried killing his mom! Even though, you know what it feels like to have your own mother die! You're a monster!" She yelled. After saying it, she quickly regretted it though. But, the words have already left her mouth. There was nothing she could do.

He let out a trembling sigh, and Spencer wasn't completely sure, but she think she saw a traces of tears on his cheeks. "I didn't want to hurt her." He said weakly. "But, I didn't have a choice." He mumbled. "Look," He swallowed hardly, forcing himself to stare at Spencer. "I knew I was in the wrong. I even got drunk after that because I thought maybe I could forget." He said sadly. "But, that only lasts so long.." He went on. "I had to get out, and that's when I knew I had to tell you. I couldn't keep this up any longer."

"I didn't find out till months later!" She screamed, her tears now freely falling off her face. "And I didn't even find out from you!" She wailed.

"It was hard, okay?" He said defending himself. "Every time I looked at you, I just wanted to savor a few more moments." He swallowed. "I was selfish. I knew you would never forgive me, and I just needed to be with you a little longer. Every time I even thought about how I would tell you, I just couldn't handle it." He admitted. "I didn't want to lose you, but I knew I would. I knew the truth would come out, and it would have to."

"You knew that the whole time." She said dryly, shaking her head, and wiping her tears away. "You knew that you weren't the person I thought you were. You knew you were lying. You knew the whole damn time! The whole time you knew you were just making me fall for you harder, each day, but yet you continued it!" She cried.

"I'm sorry." He said again. "I'm so sorry." He kept repeating for a long time. Spencer eventually stopped crying, and wouldn't go home without the rest of his explanation.

"Look when I wanted answers from you..." His voice trailed. "I wanted to help you. I would help you the best I could, and try and lead you in the right directions. But, you didn't give me them." He said with a sigh. "When I left town, I wasn't planning on coming back. I figured you would be better off not knowing the truth, and thinking I just left you because I was a douchebag, instead of me betraying you horribly. But, then I realized, that was unfair. You deserved the truth." He said looking into her brown eyes dried out from tears. "When I came back, I started to ruin their plans, and I always had a lead on if they were planning to hurt you. I wasn't going to let it happen." He said. "When it was all over, and you didn't need protection anymore, I would tell you the truth."

_A photographic memory. Whenever hearing this term, if you knew of the girl, you immediately thought of Spencer Hastings. Since preschool she had gotten straight A's. She would study the material longer than she needed to. She could probably read the chapter once, while some read it four times, and Spencer would end up getting an A, while the other person got a C. She was born a genius. _

_Spencer studied her laptop. Scanning her brown eyes across the screen, till she saw specks of color floating through the air due to the bright light. She tried to remember more details, about the unpleasant lair she had once set foot in. If only she knew where the lair was now... then she could discard of all the evidence of the four at the grave yard, and possibly turn A in._

_Cece knew a lot about Ali that they didn't. Maybe she could help them, since Mona was of no help at all. Shockingly. _

"But I realized I just had to keep doing what I was doing." he added sadly. "It was playing with fire, and I knew that, but I just wanted to see you safe, so you could move on from this mess." He said with a sigh.

"I was supposed to kill Nate." Toby said with a sigh. "It was all part of the plan to make Paige look guilty for Maya's murder, but those plans kind of got ruined. Emily killed him first, and already found out the truth." He went on.

"I owe you one..." Spencer recalled silently, "That was you?" She whispered, shuttering.

He nodded. "Anyways, I visited Mona a lot. I wanted to know more about the rest of the 'A team'. She usually just talked about weird things though. Nothing useful." He said dryly. Spencer could agree to that. They visited Mona a few times, but she never made any sense. "I guess they started to suspect, and they kind of stopped asking me to do anything big. It was nice, but I knew there had to be something up. So, when everything with Aria happened... Everything just kind of started to fall apart after that." He said.

Spencer was frozen, she couldn't even move her mouth to speak. So that was it?

"I came back because I had to see you were okay. Maybe, it would take away some guilt..." His voice trailed. "But, I wanted you to be happy. More than anything, I just want you to be okay after everything, because you deserve that." He said solidly.

"I-" She stuttered into the silence.

"I hope you are." He said. His blue eyes so sincere, and locked on her mocha ones.

_"Cece, thanks for having lunch with me." Spencer said politely as she looked through the menu. Although she knew exactly what she wanted : Chili cheese fries. _

_"Yeah, well I had to make a few adjustments, but for you, it wasn't a problem." Cece replied, also flipping through a menu. "Hows Jason? I saw you two together the other day..." her voice trailed. "I ran into him, he's such a bore now." She rolled her eyes._

_"Uh, yeah." Spencer agreed awkwardly. _

_"So what's up?" Cece asked, killing the awkward tension._

_"Huh?" Spencer asked looking up._

_"I mean we don't normally just have lunch." Cece squinted her eyes, and started to use a hushed voice. "What's going on in that little Hasting's pretty head?" She asked._

_"Um," Spencer croaked. "Who else did Ali talk about asides us?" _

_Cece cocked her head with a smirk. "Oh the rumor mill, so delicious." She smacked her lips. "You want to hear more about pig skin?" She asked with a devious giggle._

_"No," Spencer reclined. "Um, any one else?" She asked._

_"Alison talked about everyone," Cece said widening her eyes to emphasis the point. "Is there any one particular?" Cece asked._

_"Not really," Spencer sputtered. "Is there any one else you think she was afraid of?" _

_"Well," Cece said. She looked as if she was going to say something, but didn't. "Alison didn't really show fear, y'know? Fear is a sign of weakness, you can't be at the top if you're weak. Y'know?"_

_"Right," Spencer murmured back._

After talking to Toby, she left. She couldn't be there anymore, because she couldn't let him see her cry any longer. She couldn't let him think this affected her as much as it did. Even though this whole ordeal hurt more than child birth. The crying didn't stop for awhile. After the crying seemed to be put to rest, she redid her make up, and wiped her eyes, pretending as if nothing was wrong, and went to pick up her son.

She knocked on the door to Tiffany's small home, but was surprised at who answered.

"Um, Hi." She said knitting her forehead.

"Hello," The man greeted.

"Um," She said with a gulp. "I'm here to pick up my son, this is Tiffany's house right?" Spencer asked eyeing the house one more time to make sure. This was her house, she was sure of it.

"Yeah," He replied. "Oh, I'm sorry." He said with a smile. "I'm her brother, Larson." He said putting out a hand to greet her.

"Oh," She nodded, the resemblance between the two started to sink in. He had light hair, with a big flawless smile. His skin was sun-kissed with a few freckles. And his hazel eyes were the exact ones both Tiffany and Sean shared. "Spencer," She said. "I'm Tiffany's friend. She's watching my son."

"Oh," He nodded. "Yeah, they went to go get icecream." He informed her.

Spencer nodded, she assumed they would be back by now. Quite some time had passed.

"You can come in and wait, if you want. I'm sure she wouldn't mind." He told her.

She mumbled an 'Okay,' before walking in.

"So, Noah, he's your son?" Larson asked.

"Yeah," Spencer said as she followed him down the hall and into the small kitchen.

"Sweet kid." The man commented.

"Yeah, he's a keeper." Spencer smiled.

"Sean and him seem to get along pretty well. Sean usually jumps with joy when he sees me, but he barely even a mumbled a hi this time." He went on.

This made Spencer grateful. Her son had listened to her, and was friendly. "Oh, well kids can be kids." She said.

"Yeah," He murmured. "You want some coffee? Tiffany's coffee tastes like water, so I would never offer that, but I was in the middle of making a new pot." He said.

Spencer had to agree to this, Tiffany's coffee didn't please her much. "Yeah, she thinks I'm crazy when I tell her that." Spencer smiled. "But, yeah, I'll have some." She told him. So he went on making the coffee for the two. They made small talk about the weather, and how summer was coming to a close within a month.

Tiffany came back soon with a hyper Noah and Sean, and apologized for being late. Spencer took Noah home after bidding farewell to the three, and telling Larson she was glad to meet him. And maybe at the time she didn't fully mean that, but a little ways down the road, she would say it again, this time with all the sincerity What an eventful afternoon it was.

* * *

Um so yeah. Introduced some new characters. You'll be seeing them a few times...

So... Larson... yeah. Hmm? you'll see.

and tell me what you think please?(:

Also, did you guys see the sneak peak with spoby+Garret? I hate Toby's character development, like it doesn't make sense because in 3x07 Toby was telling Spencer that Garret could be innocent? Unless there is something we don't know. (Which I'm sure there is! )

Anyway, yeah. Please tell me what you thought of this chapter(: Did it suck? Did you love it? Tell me please! wee.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

What is truth? Many philosophers have asked over the years. Spencer thought she knew the answer to this question a few times before, but now she wasn't so sure. The truth is complex. Words aren't true, they are just words combined together to make a statement. Actions showed the real truth of a situation. Judging by Toby's actions, he didn't love her, he never loved her. How could he? How could you do those things to someone you love? You cant. Simple as that. But, then why did Spencer still believe their love was real. Why did she believe when he said sorry. Why did she think he was telling the truth when he told her that he did indeed love her in those dark ages. Actions speak louder than words, but in this situation, Spencer felt like the words were screeching out their vocal cords, trying to outdo the actions. Spencer didn't know what to believe anymore.

A few days passed since he told her the morbid _truth_ of the story. She hadn't told any one what he had told her, not Emily, not Hanna, and especially not Aria. He hadn't called. He hadn't texted. Nothing. Now, after everything he told her, why did she want to hear from him? What on earth was wrong with her? She felt like a annoying middle schooler girl, checking her phone every five minutes for a text from a guy who didn't give a shit about her.

She had gone to a therapist before. Plenty of times before. But, right now she felt that she was in need of one, and desperately. "Mommy, can we get ice-cream?" Noah came racing to her from the slide.

"I don't think so kiddo," she told her son, standing up from the park bench.

"Why not?" He whined sadly.

"We're having dinner with Granny, and Grandpa." Spencer told him, taking his hand in hers. The last time she took her son over to her parent's house, and he hadn't wanted to eat any thing, they had told her '_You need to be more aware of when you are feeding him._' as if he was some pet goldfish, and they were scolding her because she forgot to feed him.

"But, I want ice cream noooow." The little boy whined.

"Spencer?" A slightly familiar voice called. Spencer whipped her head around; Larson. He was walking up to her with Sean walking close to him. Spencer stifled a breath, and brushed some loose hairs out of her face.

"Hey Noah!" Sean exclaimed with a big smile, "Want to play tag?"

"Mommy can we go play?" Noah asked, his little feet already jumping up and down with excitement

"Five minutes." She said with a sigh, as the little boys started running around the two adults.

"Funny seeing you here," Larson said.

"I'm here a lot actually." She clarified. "Practically everyday."

"Are you?" he asked. "I use to come here all the time when I was little, I would hide in that rocket ship." He pointed to the wooden rocket ship in the corner of the play ground. "My parents would want to kill me after but," Larson said with a shrug and a laugh.

"You grew up here?" Spencer questioned with a smile.

"Oh yes. Lived here till I was eighteen. I left after i graduated high school,"

"But you're back now?" She asked.

"But, I'm back now." He repeated with a nod.

"Why'd you come back?" She pried.

"Well I was in Michigan before, I figured I could own a car dealership, I love cars, but it didn't work out to well, so I decided to come back. All of my family's here, and Tiff. I figured she could use some help," He chuckled softly.

"Oh." Spencer nodded.

"Yeah," He answered. "So what about you?"

"What about me?" She asked playfully.

"Whats your story?" He asked.

"I don't really have a story," which was false. Some one could write a book about what she's been through.

"c'mon, everybody has a story." He urged.

"Not me." She smiled tightly.

"Well, I guess I'll just have to figure it out along the way."

"I guess." She mimicked softly.

"How about, you and me. We have dinner and I'll ask you about your life, and you'll ask me about mine." He went on.

"I'm not really in the dating scene at the moment." She replied, shrugging a shoulder.

"Never said it's a date, just two people, eating food and conversing about their lives." He persuaded her.

"Sure, sounds like a date." She responded cocking her head.

"Oh no. You see, you would know if you were on a date with me. It would be much more than just burgers and fries. No, Miss, a date with Larson Adams, is a date you wont forget."

"Cocky are we?" She teased.

"Confident." He corrected her, putting up a finger.

"Whatever it is," She went on "It is still a no. Sorr-"

"Now how is it, that someone as beautiful and awesome, as yourself , hangs out with my sister, who I must say is pretty lame, but won't hang out with me? Now, I must say Miss.-"

"Hastings." She informed him.

"Miss. Hastings, is it? I must say you Miss. Hastings, are simply just lying." He informed her.

"You barely know me." She shook her head laughing softy, glancing at Noah, as he ran from Sean.

"Exactly why I want to have dinner with you, if not dinner, than drinks. Lets grab a few drinks." He offered a sheepish smile

"I have a son."

"Obviously, Miss. Hastings. This is where Tiffany comes into the picture. She'll watch Noah and Sean, and they'll all have a grand time. Tiff loves kids. "

"And you know for a fact that she'll be willing to do this?" Spencer asked.

"Oh, I am most certain." He went on.

"Maybe a little to much confidence there, buddy." She said patting him slightly on his arm.

"Not enough actually. So how bout it?"

"Mmmmm," She smacked her lips together. "No." She exclaimed. "Noah, time to go!"

"Five minutes!" He called back.

"5 seconds!" Spencer yelled back, "One, two, three-" She began counting off, but the little boy was light on his feet and very quickly, next to his mother once again.

"I'll see you around, Larson." Spencer said. "Sean," She saluted at the little boy, who saluted back.

"So how about coffee?" he called, and in return she simply just shook her head at him laughing.

_"We're at a dead end." Hanna declared. "We aren't getting anywhere. Jenna was no help, and Mona just made everything way more confusing, than it already is." _

_"So, what do we do?" Emily asked._

_The girls sat in silence. Each of them thinking desperately of a lead, or a clue. Something that could help them finish this. They all were tired. Tired of the constant paranoia, tired of the hassle, tired of their love ones being abused simply because they are connected with the wrong people.  
_

_"Maybe, Lucas could help us?" Aria spoke up softly._

_"Lucas?" Spencer spat in shock. "I thought he was on our A-list."_

_"So was Jenna." Aria fought back. "He's been less sketchy lately, maybe he'll help us." Aria shrugged innocently._

_"It wouldn't hurt to just ask..." Emily supported. Although Emily was wrong. Maybe, it wouldn't hurt them. But, it would surely hurt someone else entirely._

When she got home she was surprised at Hanna's enthusiasm, and strange behavior. She still didn't tell her anything, as far as Hanna knew, Spencer hadn't even talked to Toby. Spencer wouldn't even know where to start if she did tell Hanna. "Why are you acting so weird?" Spencer asked as she started up Noah's bath. Hanna had been following her around like a excited dependent puppy since she stepped through the door. "Since when do you like watching me give Noah a bath?"

"I don't." Hanna rolled her blue eyes using strange hand movements. Spencer just stared at her, like she was insane. "Spencer!" Hanna screamed, shifting her eyes to her hand to Spencer. Spencer followed the blond's gaze, and her eyes widened at the sight of an engagement ring.

"Oh my god!" Spencer beamed standing up to embrace her friend with a hug. "Caleb proposed?"

Hanna nodded her head frantically, the smile on her face just becoming bigger.

"I'm so happy for you!" She squealed, hugging the blond again. "Congratulations."

"Thanks," She smiled giddily letting go of her friends, and letting her arms flop down to her sides. "He proposed in the most romantic way, I didn't know he had it in him. Oh my god, I'm going to be Mrs. Rivers. Mrs. Rivers!" She exclaimed, her voice increasing a pitch.

"How did he propose?" Spencer asked curiously.

"Well," Hanna clucked her tongue. "We went to my bakery last night. He wanted to know how to bake, which I thought was strange because he declared that he was never cooking with me again in high school, when his favorite beanie caught on fire, but I went along with it." She went on. "And I guess when I wasn't paying attention, he slipped the ring into one of the cupcakes, and then we decorated them, and he put a heart on his, and it wasn't that nice looking, but it was so sweet," She gushed. "And he practically forced me to eat it, saying I need to tell him how he did, so I did, and then I feel something hard. And I started to freak out because I didn't know what what I bit into. And then he started laughing at me, and then I got annoyed. But, then I took out the thing I bit into and it was a ring!" She smiled brightly. "And it was just amazing." She sighed happily.

"I'm really happy for you guys Han," Spencer stated again.

"Thank you." She cooed. "I think I'm going to tell Aria." Hanna said shyly.

Spencer nodded, her smile fading.

"I just," Hanna sighed. "I want to end this drama. It was in the past, and she's my best friend. I want her to be a part of this."

_"Hey Lucas." Hanna said shyly as she sat down with him in the court yard. Most already left school. Although, Lucas had rejoined all of his excessive amount of clubs. Which meant he would stay after school till it started to get dark sometimes. Normally, Hanna wouldn't stay after school. But, she had to take a make up test. So, here she was. Sitting next to Lucas, in the almost empty courtyard. _

_The girls agreed on that Hanna would be the one to talk to Lucas. Spencer thought that they should go together, since Lucas still couldn't be trusted, but Hanna reassured her she would be fine. She could take care of herself._

_Lucas closed his laptop, and turned his head to her. "Hey," He said nervously. "What are you doing here so late? Don't you have parties to be at? It is Friday." He offered a small smile.  
_

_"Make up tests." She answered, "Usually anything with the word 'make up' in it, is my favorite thing to do, but some how school ruins that." She shrugged._

_Lucas let out a small laugh. _

_"What are you doing here?"_

_"Working on the yearbook," He glanced at his laptop. "I'm sort of behind..."  
_

_"Yeah, you were kind of scaring me. I'm glad to see you like this again." She said with a small smile._

_"Yeah," He dropped his head, "I was a little preoccupied." He said. The coldness in his voice, matching the coldness in the air._

_Hanna gulped. "With what?" She asked hesitantly._

_"Hanna, there's things I need to tell you." He looked up, his eyes desperate. "And please listen this time." _

_"Okay," She breathed shakily. "Tell me."_

_"I can't here." He rushed out. "We aren't alone." He looked around skeptically. Hanna looked around too. There were three other people out here. One freshman waiting for his ride to pick him up at the curb, and a junior working on his homework. Usually, there were a lot more people. But, it was freezing outside. Hanna didn't even know how these people could stand the bitter cold. _

_"Um," She swallowed. "Where do you want to go?" She asked warily. _

_"Um," He looked down. "Out of Rosewood." He announced._

_Hanna knew this wasn't safe, but for some reason trusted him to be alone with him. Nethertheless, she texted her friends where she was going with the curly headed boy._

Hanna was getting married. Spencer was happy for her. Caleb and Hanna had been through hell and back, and deserved a lifetime of happiness. She was happy Hanna had someone like Caleb, completely devoted and in love with her. Caleb proved just how great of a guy he was in high school. He helped with 'A' multiple times, and was always there when you needed some one to talk to. Spencer was happy for Hanna. She really was. But, she couldn't help but feel a little jealous. A little jealous that after all this, they get to grow old together, get to build a family together, and be together despite everything that's happened. Hanna will go on living life, slowly moving past all of the troubles from high school, while Spencer remained still. Unmoving. Frozen. The feeling of paranoia, and fear, never going away. Her trust issues making it impossible to develop a normal relationship with any one. Her friends will move on, go on, living their lives, happily, while Spencer would try to fight of her hidden feelings of someone she should despise. It was an endless battle, but she wouldn't hold up that white flag. She wouldn't give in to her feelings. Not yet. She still had some fight left in her.

* * *

This was waaaaaaaaaaaay short compared to my other chapters. Sorry! Sorrrrrrry sorrrry sorrrry. It was kind of a filler/builder. By the way, if anyone remembers Trevor, he isn't a big part of the story. He was kind of just to show that Spencer doesn't really have good relationship with guys. But, he hasn't fallen off the face of the earth, but he isn't going to really have a big part. He'll be mentioned a couple more times, but yeah.

And Okay, don't worry. This story isn't going to focus on Hanna's wedding.

And I know that the last three chapters were like kind of the same layout, but that was because I needed to get that all out there. So, yeah? hahah.

Anyways this wasn't the best chapter either. :p. But, oh well.

The next chapter will be focused on someone else who isn't Spencer (;. I'll give you that.

Any ways, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS! ((: i'm over 100! And just, you guys are awesome. Please tell me what you thought of this (crappy/short) chapter.

Adios amigos!


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

Secrets Buried

The thought had occurred to him that this was a terrible, beyond terrible idea. But, he didn't seem to care. Questions have been forming in his head since he saw the little boy who called Spencer 'Mommy,'. He only saw only a glimpse of the little boy, but from what he saw, the little boy had brown hair, and blue eyes. He knew he couldn't be older than four because the last time he saw Spencer five years ago, she wasn't pregnant. Although, he had to be at least three, considering how tall he was, and his good speech. The wheels in his head started turning then, and haven't stopped since. He was about to ask Spencer, but she told him it was none of his business. So, maybe she was telling the truth, he wasn't quite sure what to believe. Maybe, he was over thinking the whole situation, and Spencer got knocked up by some random guy, or worse, Wren. But, something inside him wouldn't let go of that feeling, that feeling that told him, that he was the father of that little boy.

He didn't originally come back here to win Spencer back. He didn't want to win her back, she deserved so much better than him. He did a lot of horrible things, and he shouldn't be rewarded with such an amazing woman like Spencer. He deserves the hell without her after all he did. He wanted her so badly just to move on, for the sake of herself. He wasn't worthy of her. He didn't want to see her cry. He never wanted to see her cry. All he wanted to do was explain a few things, and apologize. Then maybe she would forgive him, and move on with her life, if she hadn't already. He was a coward before. For the first few months, it was because he couldn't come back and formerly apologize, he would be dead. _Selfish. _After the head A, Alison, their former BFF, was sent to radely, he could have came back. But, he decided she was going to need some space after all these horrifying events. So he gave her space, another few months passed, and he realized he was terrified of seeing her again. Terrified of her reaction. Terrified to find her in a more worse state than he left her in, if that was even possible. So he waited, and waited and waited. He started to look for her again a few months ago, he came across Hanna's bakery, and there you have it.

He didn't know what he expected when coming here. She was Spencer's best friend, and the chances of her telling him were slimmer than Spencer's waist. Aria opened the door, and gaped. Her hazel eyes were blood shot, and puffy. Suddenly his annoyance for the petite brunette fell into pity. "Toby?!" She shrieked rubbing her eyes, and ducking her head down so he wouldn't see her tears.

"Um, hi." He said apprehensively, maybe he should come back another time. He knew that staying would just be awkward. The two didn't like each other much, reasoning's understandable. Out of all Spencer's friends, he disliked her the most. Probably because he never really got to know her, or the fact that she lied about that night. Or maybe it was another secret he held of hers. He knew a lot of secrets, and although he had told most of them to Spencer, some were still locked away in him. "You... okay?" He asked hesitantly.

"Um yeah, i'm fine." She said wiping her eyes, and inhaling a sharp breath. Although, he knew she wasn't. Clearly. It wasn't his place to stay and comfort her. He couldn't, their pasts were too dark.

"Are you sure?" He asked anyways.

"Do I look fine to you?" She snapped suddenly, shaking her head. "Just stop. What do you want?" She said.

"I can come back later.." his voice trailed.

"No, don't." Aria said rolling her hazel eyes.

"Really," he persisted. Truly catching her in a mood like this, wasn't going to get him anywhere.

She gulped and stared at him dazzled. "Why didn't you tell Spencer the truth?" She sniffled after a pause.

A look of confusion came across Toby's face. Their could be so many meanings behind that statement. Their were so many kept secrets left. "Tell her what..." He asked softly.

She glanced up and down the hall, and then sighed. "Come in." She ordered.

"Um, what? I can just-" He said baffled.

"No, look." She closed her eyes tightly. "We all deserve answers, you owe me." She said solidly.

"I owe you?" He practically laughed.

"You tortured me and my friends for months!" She exclaimed coldly.

"And I also kept all of your secrets, if you don't remember." He told her bitterly. The two stood there for a second just glaring each other done. Aria then let out a sigh, and rolled her head down for a second.

"Yeah, and I want to know why." Aria explained.

"Fine," He sighed walking in her apartment. He had only known where it was because when he ran into her in town, she took him here. She made him explain why he was back, what he was doing, what he was planning, all of that, before finally giving him Spencer's address. The last time he was here, Ezra was too. He wondered if he was the reason she was crying, it most defiantly wouldn't be the first time.

He let the door close behind him, and then he watched Aria, whom was looking at her self in the mirror, and rubbing her hands on her face removing the smudges of make up. She turned around, and crossed her arms. "Did you tell her everything?"

"Just about." He retorted.

"Even about?" She asked widening her hazel eyes.

"No, look I came back because I wanted to clear my name with her. I came back to apologize, I didn't come to cause trouble with you guys. I didn't come here to expose any body's secrets, besides my own." He told her truthfully. He knew things he wish he didn't, those things were necessarily important anymore, but knowing Spencer she would like to know. He debated on telling her, but chose not to. It would cause more trouble, and he didn't want that. Toby knew that _he_ wasn't a threat anymore, and he understood. The man loved someone, and would do anything to stay with her, and keep her protected from harm. He understood, and people make mistakes. Toby of all people knew that people made mistakes. "Besides, Spencer wouldn't have believed me anyways." he added, mumbling this part.

Aria just stood there. Staring at him blankly. "I-" She mumbled. "Thank you." She offered kindly. "I just," She swallowed hardly, "Thanks."

He stood there with a small nod.

"Why'd you tell her the truth about that night?" He asked suddenly.

"I just," She licked her lips nervously. "I thought it was high time to truth up about a few things."

"Yeah," He nodded, putting his head down. "You're right about that," He looks up at her. "Can I ask you something?"

"Um," She said nervously. "I guess?"

"Who is Noah? Who's his father?" He asked.

Aria stood there, her mouth parting slightly. What is she supposed to say? Her head tilted to the side a little, and her eyes fell on to the floor. She clucked her tongue before speaking, "I can't tell you," She says tightly.

_"Hanna you're not safe." Was the first thing that Lucas said as soon as they hit that 'You are now leaving Rosewood' sign. Although Hanna didn't need any one to tell her this, she knew she wasn't safe._

_"I know that." Hanna told him._

_"Maybe you do, but you don't know the rest." He said quickly. "Look, you don't know what you're up against."_

_Hanna looked at him, intrigued "Go on." She pressed._

_"I wanted to tell you sooner, but I couldn't." He said nervously. "There was to much at stake."_

_"Lucas tell me what you are going to say!" She demanded._

_"I was on the A team, but I got off."_

_"What!" Hanna screeched terrified.  
_

_"My mom's Anne Sullivanne. Well my biological Mom. I didn't really know her, but when she came to Rosewood, I was beginning too." He rushed out. " But, she left. Well, she was forced to leave."_

_"By A?" Hanna asked wearily._

_"By Toby." Lucas corrected her. He expected more of a reaction of shock or something at least. But, she seemed to take it well. Instead of questioning her on why she didn't seem surprised he went on. "She left because Mona found out that she was my mother, she threatened me that if I didn't stay on the team, she would get rid of her for good."_

_"So, your doctor sulivanne's son? The one who she was protecting?" Hanna asked baffled._

_Lucas nodded. "After you guys told her about A, Mona was pissed. I told her that I wouldn't get rid of her like she wanted me too, so Mona took things into her own hands. I told Anne about Mona, and the rest of the A team before Mona came for her. I needed to warn her to leave Rosewood, but she wouldn't. She was too worried. She didn't understand the power they all held. Mona, I guess, then got her to leave by telling her she'd let me go if Anne left Rosewood, and kept her identity a secret. So Anne left, and I got to go on living a normal life. For awhile. Mona tried to frame me after that for a long time, she holds a grudge." Lucas told her._

_Hanna sat perplexed. All of the information was having a hard time settling in. "She sure can," Hanna agreed shakily. _

_"I don't want to hurt you Hanna," Lucas glanced at her. Hanna gulped. "You need to know the truth."_

"Okay Noah, stay close to Grandpa, okay? Don't leave his sight. Or else you'll get into two doses of trouble. Do you understand me?" She asked him at his eye level. Her father was taking little Noah Hastings on a little camping trip with a few other older boy scouts, that were Peter's friends grandchildren. Noah was only four, while the others were six, but Spencer wasn't worried about her son befriending the other boys, he had no trouble with that luckily. She was afraid of-more like terrified-of her little boy getting hurt, or mauled by a bear, or drowning in the lake. "Maybe you shouldn't go." She said wearily, her brown eyes intensifying with fear.

"Mommy!" The boy exclaimed with a pout. "No, I want to go!" He whined.

"Spence, it will be fine." Her father said warmly, putting a hand on her back. Spencer feigned her son a smile before standing up to have a chat with her father.

"Dad, are you sure this is safe?" She asked. You couldn't blame her too be a tad bit over protective over her son, considering after everything she went through during her high school years. " I mean what if there is some bear, or some physco-"

"Spencer we are going to Rudy Even's cabin. I've taken you and Melissa there countless times. It'll be fine, I did raise two daughters you know? I'm not going to let any thing happen to Noah," He told her while grinning at Noah, and messing up his hair with his hand. "No need to worry Spence. I've known these men for years, you've known these men for years, everything will be fine. I'll make sure to lather him in sun screen, and tighten his life jacket. I won't let him out of my sight, except when I'm getting some shut eye." He reassured her. "Enjoy your long weekend."

"I'm working." She said flatly, "I don't think I'll enjoy it that much," She rushed out. "Please just make sure nothing happens to him," She glanced down at the little boy. "I just-Please." She begged returning to her father's brown eyes.

"Mommy I'll be fine!" The little boy exclaimed. "I can fight every body!"

She smiled down at him, "I know you can," She said softly, now squatting down again, "I just want to make sure you'll stay safe." She smiled sadly, flatting out his yellow shirt.

"I'll be fine." He said again. "Mommy, don't worry!" He begged her before wrapping his arms around her into a hug.

After a rather long hug, she kissed the side of his head, and then wiped her glassy eyes. "Thanks for taking him." She told her dad.

"Spence don't worry." He told her bringing her into a surprising hug. "It'll be okay." He said backing away from the embrace, keeping a hand on her shoulder. "You need to relax," he advised her. "You deserve a break."

She smiled and wiped a tear away from her cheek. This seemed like the first conversation she had with her father that didn't include a rude comment in a long time. She wrapped her arms around him again tightly, and murmured 'Thank you dad,'.

Spencer then hugged Noah another time, and after ten minutes of her son complaining that she was hugging him too tightly, she let go; and watched the twi hurdle into the car, and down the road, until they were too far away to see.

_"Then tell me, dammit!" Hanna demanded. "Everyone always puts off telling the truth, and then it's too late!" She told him._

_"Alison is A." He said flatly, gripping the steering wheel with his sweaty palms. _

_"Alison?!" Hanna shrieked. "You're lying. She's dead! She was murdered!" Hanna screamed._

_"Why would I lie about this?"_

_"Alison is dead!" Hanna exclaimed, looking at him like he was insane. "She is D-E-A-D!" Hanna spelled out. "I went to her funeral!"_

_"No, that's what she wants you think!" Lucas yelled glancing at her. "Her sister's the one that is dead. You went to her sister's funeral."_

_"What? Alison doesn't have a sister!" Hanna said, shaking her head. He had to be lying, how wouldn't she know if Alison had a sister? They were best friends._

_"Yes, she does!" Lucas told her, overpowering her voice. "She's has and twin, and-" And that was the last thing Lucas could say before the screams and wails began filling the car. The car went spiraling off the side of the road and down into the forest. _

_Everything was bright, and blurry. Lucas felt weak, and powerless. He glanced at Hanna out of the corner of his eyes, and her eyes were shut. He could see the gushing blood coming from her forehead, and he could taste blood too. His eyes felt heavy, but he kept up a good fight. He shakily moved his hand around, but couldn't find it. He stayed awake as long as he could before he gave in to his bodies orders._

Spencer didn't know what she wanted to do for the rest of the night. It was a Thursday, and she had already finished her classes for the day. She had work tomorrow, but the rest of her night was free. She hadn't had free time in awhile. Taking care of a four year old, on your own, is extremely difficult. She didn't have much time to party like Hanna had done a lot of. She figured she could stay home, catch up on her sleep, or watch old movies, but she didn't want to be alone. She couldn't. Her mind would go back to Toby, and she didn't want to think about him right now. If she thought about him, she would be sad, and she didn't want to be sad anymore.

Hanna and Emily were out, picking the flowers for her wedding. Hanna chose Emily for her maid of honor, and Spencer was perfectly fine with that, she already had way too much on her plate, not that she would ever admit that. They offered an invitation for her to come, but Spencer declined. She was happy for Hanna and everything, but the more she thought about love and marriage, the more she thought it was a load of crap. She didn't want to risk bringing down the bride to be, who was happier than ever. Besides, as much as she loved Hanna, she knew that the wedding planning would be a stress over load. She didn't need any more stress.

Then there was Aria. Maybe, she could call her._ Forgive her. _Nah.

Tiffany went on a trip to her family's lake house with her new boyfriend, and Sean.

She wasn't really in the mood to hear about Melissa's perfect life.

Jason wasn't the drinker, and Spencer was in desperate need of a drink, so he was checked off the list. Spencer found her self running low on who to call. She had a whole list of booty calls, but no. She could call Trevor, he had called her a couple times, leaving voice mails, that consisted of 'Hey, call me back when you can' or 'Hey, do you maybe want to get something to eat? I'm starved.' Spencer didn't reply to one.

Spencer found her self doing something, she wasn't planning on doing. Calling Larson. "Hey," She said almost nervously.

"Hey Spencer," Larson replied eagerly. "What's up? Come to your senses yet?"

"Um," She mumbled. "Slow down there speedy," She teased. "I'm just calling as a friend, calling another friend, to go and get drinks."

"And see you drunk?" He exclaimed. "I could never miss that, but what about the mini version of you? He won't be getting tipsy with us will he? Because I've heard some stories, and, spoiler alert, it doesn't end well." He told her.

This made her laugh. "No! Of course not. What kind of mother do you think I am? He's with my dad, camping."

"Oh, well that's good. I love your kid and all, but I feel like I haven't had any adult time since I got here."

"Tiff left today, didn't she?" She asked.

"If I say no, does that mean you'll cancel?" He asked, she could sense his smile through the phone.

"Um, maybe."

"Well, then yes, she left today. Yup," He told her, she could sense the teasing in his voice all too easily though.

"Why didn't she leave yet?"

"They are leaving tomorrow. Apparently, Antonio, or whoever, got called into work." He told her.

"That sucks." She commented.

"Yeah," He agreed. "Anyways, you better not be ditching me now for my sister. "

"Fine," She huffed. "Meet me at Rosiness bar? You know where that is right? You grew up here?"

"Are you accusing me of going to a bar before I was of age? Well then-No, I'm totally kidding." He chuckled. "Yeah, I'll see you soon. Fifteen minutes?"

"I'm going to need more time than that!" She exclaimed.

"Aw," he cooed. "You're getting all dolled up for me?" He teased.

"No, Shut up," She laughed. "I just have to do a few things. Thirty minutes?"

"Okay, I'll be waiting for you." He said.

"Alright," She replied.

"Goodbye Spencer," He told her.

"See you soon, Larson." She responds before pressing the end button on her Iphone.

* * *

The flash backs are kind of annoying me lately, so I'm trying a different approach to revealing what happened in the past? Well, Big A= Alison. I said that in the beginning and yeah.

Also, I know I said Lucas dies from a medicine, but waaaaaaaait and see.

The car crash? Were you surprised that SOMEONE hit them while Lucas was revealing some big stuff?

And oooooh Aria has another secret ;)

(two actually)

And Larson? Hmm, ;).

And all you have been saying things about Toby finding out about Noah, and yadda yadda yadda. Well as you see, he starts to question it. Toby's smart. (; and

"The truth always comes out, one way or another" - Spencer Hastings.

So tell me what you think! Do you love it? Do you hate it? What do you think Aria's secret is? Why do you think Aria was crying?

DID HANNA SURVIVE THE ACCIDENT? ( lol totally kidding, of course she did because obviously)

Well I feel like this chapter had a little bit of everything. (asides Spoby :(((, it's hard on me too, you know.) Secrets, answers, cuteness, the start of the Noah Hastings/Cavanaugh investigation. Alrighty then, tell me what you thought.

What do you expect from Larson and Spencer's bar date thats not actually a date? Leave me some reviews please!(:

And last but not least, THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH FOR ALL THE WONDERFUL REVIEWS. And yes, I agree it was kind of cheesy. Oppppps. Okay well good or bad, tell me what you thought!

( P.S I know I'm not good at phone conversations, okay? Cut me some slack. )


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer : I don't own PLL!

Thank you soooooo much for all the lovely beyond lovely reviews ((: They were so long, and I feel so appreciated, really I LOVE LONG REVIEWS SO MUCH3 I love every review, no matter how big, no matter how small. But, just long reviews make me feel so tnghuredgth. Y'know? i just hggtrgt. Thank you, thank you, Thank you for being great, just THANKYOU.

xx Caitlin

* * *

Chapter Twelve

Bars and Comas

The bar was kind of mucky. It was also one of the only bars left in town, that you could smoke in, so the place reeked of cigarettes and cigars. It was one of the older bars in town, meaning the crowd was mostly older than her age group. She wasn't sure why she chose this bar, she just did. She didn't go to bars much, having a four year old didn't exactly give you much time to spend drinking and picking up one night stands. If she did go to any bars, it would be the one she's been going to since high school, the one where she ran into Wren, the one she went to when she needed a release. But, she figured it was a time for change. Maybe, this little bar would be where it starts.

"You know, when Tiffany first told me your age, I was kind of surprised." Larson; the man across from her says, taking a chomp into his hamburger.

"You were?" She arches her eye brows at him, intrigued. "Why's that?"

"I don't know, you just seem so mature." He says.

"Is that because I have a son?" She asks a little defensively.

"No, I mean yes." The man fumbles on his words, wiping his mouth with a napkin. An awkward moment passes between the two. Spencer is grateful for the extremely loud Micheal Jackson song in the background, other wise this would be really awkward. "It's just," He sighs putting the napkin down, and looks at her in the eyes now. "You seem so sure of yourself, so," He says squinting his hazel eyes. "You just seem like you've got it figured all out."

"Me?" She almost laughs. He stays serious though. And Spencer has to hold her laughter in. She wasn't even close to having it all _figured out. _Her life was a complete mess, if only he knew. She put up a good front, but inside she was just a wreck. She was full of unwanted emotions, and trust issues preventing her from having any real relationships. A moment passed again before she spoke. She was just in shock. For most her life she could act like her life was perfect, and every one seemed to believe this. But, when Toby turned out to be her tormentor, all those walls fell down, everyone finally saw the broken girl she really is. She thought ever since then, that everyone still thought of her as that. But, maybe now, people were back to thinking, that she was strong, fearless,_ perfect. _Her walls finally were rebuilt. "You've got to be kidding, you seriously met me a few days ago. How could you possibly think that?" She asks.

"First of all, you have a kid." Larson says. "I mean I know I rag on my sister a lot, but she's pretty awesome. She got pregnant at such a young age, and she's doing really well for herself. She barely gets any help, too. And, you do that too. You had Noah at an even younger age!" He exclaims. "But yet, you can do it all." He says with a sheepish smile. Spencer is kind of a little surprised. She thought he was just full of cockiness, and wit, but he actually was sort of sweet. "I would never be able to do that," He tells her, and then with a shrug he adds "Well, I literally wouldn't be able to do that, considering I don't have the proper necessities."

She shakes her head with a laugh at his last part, "Well, thanks I guess," She tells him before sticking her fork into her salad.

"No problem," He tells her with a small smirk, before taking another chomp of his hamburger.

_Twenty four hours passed, and one of the two victims were awake. It was a harsh impact. One that caused much damage between the two. Many were worried, even people who didn't even know the teenagers. Someone had called 911 luckily, and by the time the paramedics got there, a whole crowd of people were surrounding the scene of the accident. Not a lot of people knew the teens, but there is a lot of nosy people out there. By the time the paramedics got there, it was almost too late. A lot of blood was lost, and they were going to have to hurry. _

_It seemed to be a miracle. The two were so close to losing their lives, but they didn't. _

_In the twenty four hours, a lot of people came to visit the two. Parents, friends, family. _

_Although one hadn't woken up, one stayed in a coma, leaving her friends, family, and boy friend, terrified. In the twenty four hours, her friends, mother, and boyfriend hadn't left the hospital once. Her father had rushed to the hospital, right after the mother called him, and he stayed for a while. But, he ended up leaving around six hours later._

_The hospital wasn't a place most wanted to be. It was depressing. A lot of people in hospitals were fighting for their lives and, some were giving new life. Babies were being born, and people were dying. It was the circle of life, but a certain group of people weren't willing to let a certain blond teen go yet. _

_"I think you girls should go home, you've been here all day and night. You too Caleb." Ashley Marin said to the group of teens who circled chairs around the poor blond in a coma. It was seven pm now. The sun was coming down once more, and the yawns were now happening more often._

_"We just want to make sure, she's okay." Aria spoke up shyly. No was saying much. What could they say, with Hanna's mother there? They knew who was behind this all. But, she didn't and they wanted to keep it that way._

_"She's in good care, I'll call all of you when she wakes up." The red head told them in a more strict tone. But, none of them budged._

_"Ms. Marin, I respect you fully," Caleb started after a moment. "But, I'm not leaving Hanna." He glanced down at his sleeping beauty. Even with stitches, and bruises, she was still the most beautiful girl to him. "I'm sorry, but I'm not leaving her side." Caleb said, returning his eyes to the redhead._

_"Me neither." Spencer spoke up weekly. Truly, she needed rest more than the others. She was pregnant. This wasn't good for her, and she knew it. She was already stressed enough with A running around, it wasn't good for her baby. She needed rest, but with Hanna in a condition like this, she wouldn't be able to sleep anyways. She would toss and turn the whole night, worried sick of her best friend's out come. _

_To this, Emily shot her a glance, and then glanced at Aria. Both, Aria and Emily had the same expressions on their face : worry. "Um, Ms. Marin, I don't want to leave Hanna either." Emily said now looking at the mother. "But, I think I'm going to get a coffee." Emily said side glancing Aria. Aria seemed to catch on, and mumbled a 'me too.'_

_Spencer was nearly fifteen weeks pregnant. But, with her usually petite and tiny figure, it wasn't completely obvious, there was a baby growing inside her. Although, a small bump was forming, and she didn't know what to expect from people. Spencer Hastings getting pregnant was a total shocker, so she figured she still had some time, before people started to theorize about why she was suddenly getting bigger. At this point neither Hanna's mother, or Caleb knew she was pregnant. So, when Emily said 'Spencer, wanna come too?' and told Caleb they were going to stop by the ladies room, so he should just go for a coffee without them, she knew it wasn't about A. If it was about A, Caleb could be there. She reluctantly mumbled a 'yes' to her friends before following them out of the small ICU room._

_"Spencer you should head home," Aria stated after a long pause. _

_"Yeah, you need your rest. Hanna would understand." Emily added._

_"I'm fine," Spencer told them, although she was compressing a yawn, and the bags under her eyes practically spoke for her._

_"Spencer, we know you're worried about Han-we are too. But, you need rest. If anything happens, we'll call you." They reassured her._

_"Hanna needs me," Spencer started defensively._

_"You are pregnant, Spencer." Aria scolded in a whisper. She cleared her throat, and then took a deep breath in. "Your baby needs you too." Aria said calmly. "You need to think of her, or him, too. This isn't just about you anymore." She told her, Aria always seemed the most motherly of the group. Ever since Spencer revealed her pregnancy, Aria was helping the most. She came to her doctor appointment a couple weeks before, she gave her a few baby books, she yells at her every time she picks up a coffee; apparently it shouldn't be drank when pregnant and she even knitted her a small baby hat. She was truly a big help, and Spencer was grateful. But, she wondered if Aria would be this big of help, if the father of the baby wasn't Toby._

_"I-" Spencer sighed. Aria was right. "I just want to be here for Hanna like you guys. I'm worried about her," She said on the verge of tears. She promised her self she wouldn't cry ever since she declared that she was going to stop moping around about Toby. When they found out about Hanna, Spencer did her best to hold in the tears. But, now she was cracking. "I just want this to be over," She let out a cry._

_The friends shared a group hug, mumbling an 'Me too.' and eventually Spencer listened to her friends advice (demands) and went home._

_When Spencer would come back the next morning, someone would be dead. _

"So, how is someone like you single?" Larson finally asks.

The duo finished their dinner nearly an hour ago, and now were just sitting at the small table, ordering beers, and making small talk. Spencer told him, she was studying to be an editor, and he told her that he was planning on going back to college. They talked about the weather, the genre of music they both liked and many more pointless things. It was mostly small talk, mixed with a few laughs here and there. It was just now when he brought up something serious, something Spencer wished she could avoid.

"Someone like me?" She questions with a smirk. Maybe it was the alcohol talking, but she couldn't resist to smile.

"Y'know," He says like it's so obvious, "A smart, witty, beautiful woman like your self." He complimented, which made her cheeks turn a slight pink.

"Um," She fluttered her eyes, taking another sip of her beer. "I like being alone." She tells him.

"Which is translation for 'I had a douchy boy friend, and I'm scared to let any one in'?" He asks.

"It's just better being alone." She tells him. "What about you?"

"Are you implying that you're surprised I'm single?" He chuckled, "Why Spencer, I know I'm desirably handsome and charming, but that doesn't-"

"No, asshole." She laughs, "I'm just asking," She licked her lips, pondering what she was really asking. She didn't quite know. "Why do you not want to be single?" She asks. She isn't really making sense any more.

"Because," He stated. "I don't know. I figure, you find a good girl, you keep her. Simple as that. It's not like I'm desperately looking for a relationship or anything." He tells her with a soft chuckle. Spencer just stays silent, and takes another sip of her beer. She notices him staring at her closely. She feels like a monkey at a zoo.

"What?" She asks.

"Who was he, your high school sweet heart?" He asks.

Spencer swallows hardly, furrowing her eye brows at him. She isn't going to talk about this with some guy she met a few days ago, he certainly was nosy. Well, so was she...

When she doesn't reply, he continues.

"Love at first sight?"

This made her laugh. Love at first sight? Not at all. More like hate at first sight. She didn't exactly remember when they met, or how for that matter, but she remembers when she started acknowledging him. Alison would always call him 'perv' or make snarly remarks about him about god awful things, like sacrificing squirrels. Spencer never doubted Alison when she would say these things, she would just laugh, and make more rude comments about the boy. Maybe she should have kept doing that, it would have saved her a lot of heart ache.

But, of course Alison too, turned out to be a lunatic.

"Not exactly," She says with a scoff, letting her words slip out of her mouth.

"But you have been hurt?" Larson asks.

Spencer just looks at him. Lying would seem useless, clearly she has. It was obvious. "Um, yeah." She says weekly.

"Some one hurt you?" He exclaims, like it's impossible. "What an asshole."

Spencer nods in agreement, before taking another sip of her beer. He is an asshole.

But, yet she can't stop thinking of him.

Asshole.

_The next morning, Aria, Spencer, and Emily went back to the hospital in Philly. Shortly after Spencer left, Emily and Aria did too. The didn't go to school, but how could they at a time like this? On the way to the hospital they were discussing the thing that has been glued on their minds since the accident. Who was behind it. It was an obvious choice: A. _

_The car that nearly killed Hanna and Lucas, was no where to be found. The police were searching, but like last time when Hanna was hit with a car, they had no luck. _

_Aria and Emily had informed Spencer that Hanna's mother was starting to question the return of 'A'. They told her how she questioned so many times whether if they knew who would do this, or if any one was bothering them again. They felt bad for lying, but what were they supposed to say? Tell the truth? They didn't want to put Hanna's mother in danger. _

_Caleb too was furious, saying things like 'I will kill those assholes, who did this to Hanna. I swear to god.' Emily tried soothing him with words like 'It'll be okay' but, that was another lie. Who's to say it would be. She also told him not to talk like that. She knew how it felt to kill someone, even if it was out of defense, it wasn't a nice feeling. When she killed Nate, it didn't bring Maya back. It didn't do anything, asides save her own life, and leave her with major guilt._

_When they got to the hospital, they were delivered with some awful news. _

_Hanna's mother had seemed to finally gone home, but Caleb was there. He told them weekly that Lucas had died that morning, the cause still undecided. It made all the girls gape, none of them knew Lucas well, but as far as they knew, he was doing fine last night. Caleb on the other hand was close with the boy, well he was. He told them how he visited him last night, and he was sleeping, but he seemed well. It was a major shock to everyone, and the girls didn't really know how to process it._

_"Are they doing an autopsy?" Spencer asked after a long silence. Her voice was weak. Her eyes were blood shot, she hadn't got much sleep. _

_Caleb just shrugged sadly, returning his gaze to Hanna. _

_No one said much the rest of the afternoon. Whether it was because the shocking news of Lucas' death, or just the sullen vibe in the air due to a silent Hanna. No one said much. They all just stared at Hanna, all thinking the same thing, asking themselves same question, 'when would it all be over?'_

_A few silent hours passed until Hanna's father showed up. The silence stayed, and Hanna's father tried to make conversation saying 'I hear it's better if we talk, she might hear us, and knowing Hanna she wouldn't like the silence'. This was true. Except, Hanna's father, Tom, didn't know Hanna. He was barely a part of her life. Besides, each one of them was much to depressed to make small talk. Seeing Hanna in this state, and Lucas dying that morning, it was all to much._

_ Hanna's mother showed up next. She had coffee for all of them, but Spencer declined. This got her a strange look from both Hanna's mother and Caleb. Both knew how much she loved her coffee, heck everyone in Rosewood knew how much she loved her coffee._

_Caleb then told Hanna's mother about the death of Lucas. Hanna's mother suddenly bursted into tears, mumbling 'he was so young, what if it had been Hanna? What if my baby's next?' Tom then wrapped his arms around her into a hug. Ashley put her head into his chest, and just sobbed. Even Tom was crying a little. Soon the whole room was filled with teary eyes. Even Spencer who was trying her best to stay strong, broke out into a sob. She couldn't lose Hanna. She couldn't lose another person she loved._

"This was fun," He tells her as they exit the bar around an hour later. They spent most of the rest of the night playing darts. Both, being the competitive people they were, had to keep demanding rematches.

"Yeah," She says with a slight shrug.

"You okay to drive?" He asks narrowing his hazel eyes on her.

"Yeah," She breaks out into a little laughter. "I didn't have that much to drink,"

"Yeah, well you never know. Girls are such light-"

"Shut up," She hisses, punching him playfully in the shoulder. This causes him some laughter. Over the course of the night he had made many smart ass comments, and each time she would punch him in the arm. He had it coming, but he couldn't resist.

"Ow," he shrieked grabbing his arm, with a chuckle. "That one actually kind of hurt,"

"Maybe, you should stop making sexist jokes?" She tilts her head with a smirk, referring to when he told her she threw like a girl.

"Fine, fine. I will, if you go on a_ real date_ with me." He says. She arches her eye brows at him. A real date? He was an asshole, she was certain of that. But, he also had his sweet spots and for some odd reason she actually liked him. Unlike, all those other guys she's dated in the past four years. He seemed different, then again so did Toby. "Y'know, a romantic little getaway? Horseback carriage, and candle light, walks on the beach." He teases.

She rolls her eyes playfully. "Sounds delightful, but I don't know." Her voice trails.

"C'mon, please?" He pleases.

She opens her mouth to speak, but no words come out. She actually likes him, unlike the guys of the past, so what's stopping her? Fear? "I-" She stutters.

"How about," he steps closer, "I take you out on a marvelous outing," He whispers with another step closer, their faces now only inches apart. "If we kiss, it's a date, if not..." his voice trails into the summer breeze before his lips touch hers. She doesn't push him away, but she doesn't kiss back, she simply just lets his lips linger on hers, for the time being.

And maybe that old muggy bar, really is the start of something new.

He pulls away, looking at her nervously.

A moment passes between the two. In that short moment Spencer really starts to notice all the beautiful colors meshed together in his eyes. The browns, the golds, the blues, the greens, are all arranged together so beautifully.

"Okay," Spencer agrees finally.

_A few days passed. Hanna's still in a coma, and Lucas' funeral was right around the corner. Lucas' family was pretty private about it all. His funeral wasn't like Alison's, only guests could come. It wasn't big, it was mostly family, and Spencer or the other girls weren't even invited; which was to be expected. They barely talked to him, let alone, befriended him. Although Caleb was invited to the funeral, and when Spencer asked about the autopsy, yet again. He told her that he heard there was a mix up with the medicine or something, that they gave him the wrong antibiotic, that he just so happened to be allergic too. His parents were apparently suing which was to be expected, but Spencer questioned it. Hanna and Lucas were just pushed off the side of the road, nearly dying, and then Lucas dies a couple days later from an allergic reaction? She didn't buy into that the hospital made a mistake, she believed it was A. _

_It was late Tuesday afternoon; the fourth day of Hanna's coma. Spencer had went to school that day, as did her friends. Her friends went to the hospital right after school, but Spencer headed home. She was exhausted. She needed to take a nap. As much as she cared for Hanna, she had to take in consideration that she was pregnant. Their was a baby growing inside her. She wasn't just looking out for herself anymore. _

_Although, after her nap she headed to the hospital. She was surprised to see Aria and Emily were gone. Even Caleb was gone. The only person in the small room with Hanna was her mother. She was always here, never leaving her side. When she did, she would only go for a couple hours. She was a good mother, and Spencer hoped she would be as good as a mother as her. _

_"I'm going for a little walk," Hanna's mother stood up from the chair, rubbing her watery eyes. "Do you mind staying here till I get back, I don't want Hanna to wake up alone." Ashley said, staring at her poor daughter. "I won't be long." _

_"Yeah, of course." Spencer said offering a small smile._

_"Thank you." The redhead said back, with a sad smile. Before she left, she kissed Hanna on the forehead, mumbling an 'I love you' and 'I'll be back soon'. _

_When Hanna's mother left the room, Spencer acknowledged that this was the first time she was actually alone with Hanna since she fell into this horrible state. She didn't know what to say. She was never good at expressing her feelings. Although she knew that this was probably one of her only chances to do so. She knew that Hanna would probably wake up eventually, but there was also a chance she wouldn't. And if Hanna could in fact still hear, she wanted her to know how much she needed her. _

_"Hi, Hanna." Spencer said shyly, scooting her chair towards the silent girl. _

_She looked at her sadly. She looked so worn out, tired even, even though she had been sleeping for days. Spencer looked up, trying to stop her self from crying. She swallowed the hard lump in her throat, and then looked back at Hanna. She stifled a breath before taking the blond's hand._

_"Hanna, I can't lose you. Please try. Try. I miss you, so much." Spencer told her, "I need you, I don't think I can do this without you. I know I yell at you for making jokes at inappropriate times, but really, I need that. I need your humor. I need you," She let out a soft cry. "You're my best friend, Han. Please don't give up, please wake up soon."_

* * *

__Well I hope you all don't hate me now. (:

Larson will be of help by the end of it all, so don't hate him too much. Just trust me. I love Spoby too. If you follow my tumblr, or have read my other 19 stories, you'll know that spoby is the best/(worst) thing thats ever been mine. (;

Okay so tell me what you think? This chapter was kind of so-so, but I had to show you the date, and the Hanna/coma/lucas thing(!)

Also the Aria thing, I think some of you are on the right track for one of the secrets (;

I'm not sure when, but you'll learn Aria's other 2(!) secrets all at the same time, I think it will be... soon(ish) ? Maybe... I know what I'm doing, I just don't know how long chapters will be any everything, y'know?

Well, basically tell me what you think! Horrible? I know a lot of you won't be too happy considering there was no Spoby, but it's all part of the story line, and I can't just put in a random Spoby moment, hope you'll understand.

I'll try to put some Spoby in, whether it's a dream or flashback next chapter, how's that? Right now that's the most I can promise you for next chapter.

(Btw, I missed writing for Noah in this chapter :( any one agree? Lol I love him, okay? )

How was it?

Tell me what you thought PLEASSSSSSE! Once again thanks for being awesome (:


	13. Chapter 13

Some Things Stay The Same

Chapter 13

_"Spencer, what are you even looking for?" He asks finally. He has been watching her rummage through cabinets in her basement, for the past fifteen minutes._

_She had texted him nearly twenty minutes ago, saying, "Okay, come over now (:. Just walk in, I'm in the basement." He listened to his girlfriend's instructions and came to her house, and down to her basement. He was quite curious of it all, he had only been in the Hastings' basement once, and that was to find some candles, after a early summer storm black out. He didn't think the Hastings' normally used their basement. Then again they didn't really use half the space in their house. Their basement was basically suitable for living in. It was quite large, and had a kitchen and bar area. They had pure leather couches, and a plasma TV in one corner. And a bookshelf, and a leather recliner in the other corner. In another room of the basement was also a washing and dryer machine, which they probably only used when the one up stairs wasn't working._

_When he first got to the Hastings house, he practically rushed downstairs to see his girlfriend, due to her long classes and her finals coming up; he hadn't seen her in a few long days._

_Yes, he was supposed to hate her and all, but he just couldn't. They had told him to get his feelings under lock and key so many times, but he didn't know how. Besides, Spencer owned the key to his heart, as cheesy as it sounds, she's the only one that is in control of his heart. No matter how hard he tries, she always will be._

_When he got there although, she just pecked him on the lips, and then continued to search through various cabinets. She had ignored his 'Spencer, what are you doing?' and 'Um Spence?' She seemed pretty focused, as usual. When she was determined to do something, there was no stopping her. "Spencer," He practically whined, taking a seat on the ground next to her, "What are you doing?" He asked lightly with arched eyebrows. He took her hands, so she would stare at him._

_"I'm looking scrabble." She sighed, closing the cabinet, and twisting her body towards her boyfriend. To this, he gave her questionable look. "I want a rematch." She smirked._

_"You do realize you're insane, right?" He chuckles at her, watching her step up to explore through the other various cabinets in her basement._

_She whipped her head back with a giggle, "Then I guess that means you're a little crazy too, since you're dating me."_

_"Yeah," He grinned. "I guess I am."_

He looked at the old scrabble board with a heavy sigh. It was the same scrabble board that they played the night at the motel. They ended up playing it again, that afternoon at her house. He won, again, which made her pout, and grouch about how _the game is rigged._ She ended up giving him the game, saying how he can have it, because something _has _to be wrong with it. She probably thinks that he just threw it into a closet, and never saw it again, but it held so much meaning to him. It wasn't just some old scrabble board, that was apparently 'rigged', it was one of the things that lead up to the best and worst thing that has ever happened to him: their relationship.

He kept it after all these years. He brought it to local book stores, and would play with mostly elderly men. Sometimes he won, sometimes he lost. But, nevertheless he always thought of her. This scrabble board was a symbol of their relationship. He could never get rid of it.

He held on to other things of hers too. Mostly, stupid things, like a scarf she had left at his loft once, and he never got to return. And her essay she wrote about him. It wasn't all about him, but a portion. It was about the most important people in her life. She told him how she was never good with expressing her self, but the letter said it all. She gave him this sheet of paper, that she poured her heart out on, and it made him want to die. In her essay, she had said so many nice, incredible, loving things about him. Most of which weren't exactly true, like that he was honest, and genuine. He was the exact opposite of that. He had to hold in his tears when he read it, knowing that she cared about him that much, was perhaps worse, than not knowing how she really felt. The questioning in his own head about whether or not she loved him, was better than knowing she loved him for real, and knowing how badly he was actually hurting her.

Then there was the truck. It didn't feel right driving around in it, he felt like it was so sacred, because of all the memories piled within it and just the fact that Spencer gave it to him. He felt like he wasn't worthy of it—like he wasn't worthy of Spencer. _Which he wasn't._ Every time he drove in it, he just felt worse about himself. But, he could never fully get rid of it, so he gave it to his cousin. At least he knew that it would be in good hands.

Toby had been renovating his loft for six hours straight now. Whenever he wanted to take his mind of something, he worked. He thinks he caught on to this habit, from his beloved Spencer, which makes him work ever harder.

That's why he goes around buying crappy lofts. He renovates them, and repaints them, and does everything he can to make them look incredible. Then he sells them, and moves on to another crappy place, to tear apart, and rebuild. It's a cycle, that he started around three years ago. It takes his mind off things for a while, but ultimately it doesn't help much. It's just a temporary solution, for what seems like, a permanent problem.

Right now, he was trying to take his mind of the little boy who went by the name of Noah. He called Spencer is 'mommy'. And while it's all possible, he has absolute no connection with Noah, there's something inside him that tells him he does.

He wanted to ask Spencer, but the idea that she would actually tell him, was outrageous. Why would she tell him the truth, when he kept the truth from her for so long?

He felt like a coward, for the probably the thousandth time in his life. If this really was his son, maybe he could prove to Spencer, that he has changed, and that he was honest about everything he told her. He closed the cardboard box, and stood up. He was going to find some answers, and not be a coward, for probably the first time in his life.

He probably should have called, or at least texted her—but, he didn't. Now, he was in front of her door, not even knowing if she was home. It was pretty late too, going on six pm, and who's to say she's even home. Nevertheless, he swallowed his nerves, and pounded on the door.

The door opened after three knocks, and there stood Spencer, and he was grateful that it wasn't Hanna "Hi," He spoke nervously, perhaps this wasn't such a good idea.

"Um, hi." Spencer says, giving him a questionable look.

"Look, I know I should have called, or something, but can we please talk." He pleads.

Spencer stands in the door way for a moment. Her face washed with confliction, and nervousness. She bites her lip, glancing back into her apartment. "Okay," She says apprehensively, letting her eyes find Toby's again. She slips on her shoes, and steps out of her apartment to join Toby in the hall.

The two make their way down the hallway, and out of the apartment building all together, without another word. The tension is obviously awkward it, and it reminds him, of how they use to act around each other. So guarded, and both of their walls built up so high, that neither could see each other for who they really were.

_"Do you think Jenna will still be upset when you go back home?" Spencer asks after awhile of silence. The two sat in the motel room, awaiting for something to happen in the room 214. Toby was docked out at the window, peeping out of the curtains, and Spencer was sitting on the bed, fidgeting with the ends of her tie._

_Toby knows Jenna will be upset, but he honestly doesn't care. He actually likes Spencer, she isn't all so bad. She isn't like Alison. He would pick Spencer over Jenna any day, which was a weird thing to say, considering that he once hated Spencer almost as much as he hates Alison. "Probably." He mumbled with a small shrug, turning around to face her._

_"She doesn't like that you're helping me," Spencer says with all certainty. _

_"Not at all." He tells her with a small hint of a smile, sitting on the edge of the bed, and looking into those signature mocha eyes. Whenever he looked at them, he just had an urge to kiss her. She made his heart go ten times faster, and his mind go fuzzy. He felt weird around her. He hasn't felt this way about any one in a while, and he doesn't know how to quite deal with it. Mona told him to get close with her, but he didn't know why. He didn't understand why she needed so much information about these girls. Although, He did know it probably wasn't the best idea to kiss her, but that didn't stop him from thinking about kissing her. _

_"Then why are you even helping me," She stifled a laugh, her voice hinted with a sudden lightness. She ducks her head down, and flattens out her tie, to her chest. "I mean, I just..." She gulped peering up at him. "It's nice of you and everything, but if it's just causing more trouble with Jenna.." her voice trails._

_"I told you, my parents will be back Monday, and it'll be alright." He tells her._

_"Well, thanks." She smiles._

_"Yeah," He says, although, he's witnessed what Mona's done, and he has a feeling that she isn't just going to let him be—but the stupid part of him has hope that maybe she'll just leave him alone, and he won't have to do anything to Spencer. "Wanna play scrabble?" he asks, desperate to change the topic._

_"Okay, but you're going down." She smirks._

He didn't like that awkward tension between Spencer and himself. He didn't like how it seemed to be that they didn't have a past, that they haven't fought off monsters together. He didn't like that they seemed like strangers, he didn't like it at all.

"Do you want to go on a walk?" He asks her, once they get outside. She mumbles an '_I guess.'_ Before they start their walk. They aren't walking to anywhere particular, and they aren't exactly walking on a path. They are simply just walking along the apartment building.

"So, what did you want?" She asks finally after a what seems like miles of endless awkward tension.

He lifts his shoulders stiffly, and lets out a deep breath. "Where's your son?" he asks, not looking her in the eyes, he doesn't have the strength too.

"Oh," She croaks, "Um, he's with my dad." She says after a long pause. "They went on, a um, camping trip, kind of thing." She tells him, which results him to nod.

"That's nice." He comments, pushing off the question, he's been meaning to ask since he first saw the mother and son in the hall way that fine summer day. "That's really nice of him," he says, struggling to find a better adjective than _'nice'._

Spencer shrugs a little, and glances at him. "Yeah," She says, her voice shaking with nerves. "I mean, it's cool that he's there for him, and everything," She says slowing her pace a little.

He seems to notice, and slows his pace himself. "It's great weather for a camping trip,"

"Defiantly." Spencer says stopping all together. "Um," She swallows hardly. "Why are you here?" She asks sternly, her eyes steady on him with determination, that he use to love to see so much, present in her brown eyes.

"I um," He says, stopping also.

The late august air around them was thick, and the sun was beating down on them heavily. The thickness in the air just made it easier, for him to choke on his unsaid words. He doesn't know how to address this, the situation, it was so complicated. "It's about…Noah." He says in a mumble.

Although his voice is clear enough, for Spencer to hear what he says. In this moment, her heart sinks into her stomach, and she feels her head going dizzy. He wasn't dumb, and Spencer didn't think she could necessarily fool him, but she hoped she wouldn't have to deal with it. Then again, _hope does bleed eternal misery… _She clears her throat, and flicks back a piece of her auburn hair. "Um, what about him?" She asks skeptically.

"Just," He jerks his shoulders forward, and glides his foot across the cement. "I—how old is he?" He asks to obtain clues of whom the father of the child could be, a strong candidate, being himself.

"Um," She ponders on what to tell him. There is no doubt, that his suspicions are growing. So, she had two options: telling the truth and dealing with all of the tremendous complications, or simply lying which would most likely cause no problems, although Spencer should have known better, lies always caused problems. "He's four," She tells him the truth, with not much strength.

"Oh, that's um, nice. He's kind of tall for his age," Toby comments. He saw the boy for probably less than a minute, but he took in the little boy's appearance quickly. The little boy had brown hair, and blue eyes. And he was much taller than any normal four year old, but, that made sense considering both his parents, were quite tall people.

"Yeah, he's the tallest, in his day care." Spencer tells him. This is weird, she is actually having a conversation with Toby Cavanaugh, that doesn't consist of tears and screams. And they are talking about_ their son, _whom Toby doesn't know he is a father to. Yes, this was very strange. "Jason's already preparing him for the basket ball team," she adds. She doesn't know why she is still talking to him still, she should despise him right?

"Wow," Toby enthuses, "I'm sure he'll be a star athlete by the time he's sixteen,"

"Right." She stifles a smile. She can't smile around him? What is she doing? She is talking to Toby, about Noah. This was never a conversation she ever imagined on having. Well, they had conversations about their children, well _future_ children, in a way, but that was before everything. Before she knew the truth...

Another silence fell between them, and by now, they both seem to be used to it. The only thing that bounced off their eardrums for a while was the chirping birds in the sky, and the distant voices of people coming in and out of the apartment building. They kept their eyes off each other, and both of their minds wandered to different things. Mostly about Noah. Spencer didn't want Toby to know the truth, but the truth always came out, one way or another. She knew that for a fact, nothing can keep a secret forever. Toby thought of Noah too, and what the chances were that he could indeed be his son, they seemed pretty high. He was four, he had blue eyes, and was quite tall for his age. Toby remembers seeing himself taller than usual children, in the home videos he would watch on certain occasions, including: his mother's birthday, mother's day, and pretty much anything dealing with his mother.

Although how does he approach the question, that could change his life completely.

"Spencer, I want us...to be okay." He says softly, cutting the small talk,and finally looking at her again. He puts of the question that eats away inside him, for some time. She probably wouldn't even tell him the truth.

She stares at him, her mouth parted open, and her brown eyes perplexed. "I don't...I don't know if that's a good idea." She says, finding it difficult to say.

Was it their closure? Or was it the beginning of something else entirely?

"I know, you have no reason too. I mean why would you even want to?" He asks shaking his head, and clenching his jaw. "But, I just I want to be there for you..." He told her, nearly choking on his words. "I want, to make up for all of the shit I did to you." He tells her solemnly.

She opens her mouth to speak, but no words come out. She doesn't know what she wants. She would feel like such a fool to let him back into her life.

"Please just think about it. I hope you'll consider it," He requests, almost pleadingly.

"Toby," She tilts her head to the side, her brown eyes falling off of him, and to the cement. "It's just too much," She drops her hands. "I don't know how I could ever trust, to let you in my life again." Her voice cracks slightly. He hurt her so much, and the wombs were still healing. She didn't want to spread any salt on her wombs, but maybe he wasn't salt at all, maybe he was the stitches; that would finally help her heal. It was a risk, and she didn't know if she was willing to take it.

"Spencer, you have to know, I'm so sorry." he says sadly.

"I know you are, but," She shrugs her shoulders, her eyes still glued to the ground. "I just," She looks up at him. "I need some time, to think about it." She tells him.

"Okay, I guess that's better than a no." He offers a toothless grin, that hides so many sorrows.

"Yeah," She half smiles at him. He was still the optimist he's always been, which was one of the qualities she admired most about him. Maybe, just maybe, they could be friends.

* * *

**So,just kidding, I lied? I said you'd only get a flash back, or dream, but there ya go. I sort of adjusted something, and yeah. Sh.**

**So, this didn't have much 'A' flashbacks, but um, hm... they'll be more of that in the next chapter, and then the next, and yeah. The Hanna coma thing will continue though, I'm not just leaving you hanging, but yeah, you'll just have to wait and see. The next chapter will be more...factual? ha?**

**Thank you so much for the amazing reviews, I see some of you aren't happy, and some of you are like debating about how you feel about Larson, and yeah, yeah, yeah, just thank you (: I love to hear your reviews good or bad (or even the rude ones, but maybe be a little nicer next time? ;) Christmas is coming up, you don't want to be on the naughty list, do you?) Well thank you again! **

**My tumblr is Cavastings (: (i changed it!)**

**Also, I know a lot of you are excited for that Noah/Toby interactions, but I ask you to stay patient my friends. Their schedules don't correspond quite well. But, stay tuned, for it will come one day.**

**Well pretty please tell me your thoughts! Do you hate me a tiny tiny tiny bit less for last chapter? Was this a nice surprise that it was ALL SPOBY, and i said it would only have a tiny bit of Spoby? Well, tell me! Good, or bad, I want to hear it. Okay, bye for now.**

**Ps. Sorry this is sort of short, it's like 3000 words, so eh?**

** xoxCat**


	14. Chapter 14

__Chapter Fourteen

Storms

_A week and two days passed since she settled in the horrible state between death and sleep; nine days passed without the bubbly blond moments; two hundred and sixteen hours of waiting, worrying, and crying. Now, she was finally awake; fluttering those blue eyes open to see all those tiresome faces belonging to her friends and family staring down at her. The scenery around her frightened her; she was in a hospital. But why?_

_"Hanna, oh my god Hanna!" Aria was to first to exclaim, followed by her mother practically jumping out of her chair to Hanna's bed side. _

_"My baby! You're awake!" Ashley Marin exclaimed, tears filling her eyes, as she placed her hand over Hanna's._

_"Hanna, thank god." Caleb said from the other side, a small smile, that no one has seen once in those past nine days days, on his face._

Her and Toby were going to be _friends. _Was it possible? Could they possibly be friends? After all he's done, and everything they've been through as a _couple, _could they be anything less than a _couple? _Spencer didn't know if she was strong enough. She still had feelings for Toby, she always would. He was her ultimate weakness, he always has been. He's her Achilles's heal. Was it possible, after all this time, that they could be friends? She wanted him back in her life. She missed him. For whatever reason, she wanted him to stay in her life. It was a ridiculous concept. That they could be_ friends. _In more ways than one, it was absurd. Firstly, he is her ex-boyfriend, who her feelings are still present for, and he was her past tormentor, who attempted to ruin her life. But, he was also Toby Cavanaugh; Noah's father, and one of the best friends shes ever had. He wasn't just her boyfriend, but one of her best friends too. She didn't just lose him in a way of love, but friendship too.

She needed time to think about this. Time to set her mind straight. She knew this decision shouldn't be decided at a bar, but nevertheless she went to one. And maybe it was fate, that guided her to that bar.

_Her mother explained everything that happened to Hanna, including Lucas' tragic and unexpected death, but Hanna knew there was more to the story. There is always more to the story in Rosewood. Police Officers, nurses and doctors, came in and out the whole day. Police officers, for statements, doctors for checkups, and nurses for Hanna's change in medicine. _

_Hanna didn't remember much. The last thing she remembered was going to sleep in her own bed, and now she's in a swamp colored hospital gown, and Lucas is dead. It was a lot to take in, and she had fallen asleep through out the day countless times. Each time she woke up, a new visitor was staring at her. First it was her dad, then it was Paige, then it was Mr. Fitz (talk about awkward), then it was Mrs. Montgomery, and then Mrs. Fields. They all cleared out asides her mother, Caleb, Spencer, Aria, and Emily. She needed her mother to leave, she needed to know what really happened. She practically forced her mother to leave and so, the first time in nine nights, Ashley Marin went home for the night, and slept in her own bed. _

_"What happened?" Hanna asked timidly. Did she want to know the truth?_

_"We don't really know," Aria said after a pause, shifting her eyes between the two other girls. "One minute, we were waiting for you to come over to watch the Grease, the next, we were getting a call from your mom, saying that they found you in a ditch." _

_"So," Hanna furrowed her eyebrows. "Do you think it was Mona, or..." Hanna glanced at Spencer. "Any one else on the A team?"_

_"I swear who ever it is, they are a dead man. Who ever did this to you-"_

_"Caleb," Hanna stopped him numbly._

_"I'm sorry, but A went to far. I will kill those bastards with my bear hands." He said coming closer to her, placing his hand on hers._

_"Just as long you don't bring a gun," Hanna offered a week smile._

_"I'm sorry to ruin the hallmark moment, but Hanna do you remember anything?" Spencer pressed._

_Hanna just stared into space for a second, "No." Hanna spoke softly, letting her eyes fall on the cotton sheets._

The second she stepped into the bar, she recognized the tiny brunette drowning down shots, at the bar counter. She quickened her pace over to her, worry lines forming on her forehead. "Aria?" Spencer said flustered, sitting down on the stool next to her, "Aria,-" She said fumbling on her words, "Are you okay?" She narrowed her eyes on the small brunette.

"Huh?" She asked flinging her head over to the words filling her ears. "Spencey!" Aria exclaimed with a huge smile, her hazel eyes dilated, and hair a mess. "My sparia! Team sparia! I've missed you," She reached her arms out, nearly falling off the stool.

"Woah, woah." Spencer said, helping her friend with her balance. "Okay, stay still, don't make sudden movements." She advised her friend, holding her hands, like she was a three year old.

"Spencer, I'm soooo happy your here. I've missed you so much, like I missed you like the a Christmas tree misses ornaments." Aria explained swaying her body back and forth. "You know what we can do!? We can start like a poem-karaoke! Like they have singing karaoke, so why not!" Aria exclaimed, the excitement in her voice increasing. "We can be like team Sparia, and we can make money, and stuff!" Aria slurred.

"Aria, how much have you had to drink?" Spencer asked her friend concerned. Aria didn't get drunk much. Out of all her friends, Aria got drunk _least. _And when Aria did drink, she most certainly didn't get_ drunk. _Spencer doesn't think she's ever seen Aria drunk actually. Even on her twenty first birthday, she only had two shots. She always drank lightly, never enough to actually get drunk. Aria's uncle was an alcoholic, actually alcoholism ran in her family, so she's always been so against it. Something had to be really wrong, that she would get drunk, and by her self.

"Not a lot," Aria slurred, glancing at the bar, "Only like a fewish," She shrugged sheepishly, a hiccup escaping her mouth. "Spencer, do you know that, the more you drink, the more pee?" Aria offered a dumb fact, laughing away like it was_ oh so funny._

"No, I didn't know that, thanks for telling me, Aria." Spencer rolled her eyes.

"I think I have to pee, though."She said, looking clueless. "Will you take me to the little girls room?" She asked helplessly. "I feel sick," She said putting a hand over her chest.

Spencer groaned. "We have to get you out of here," Spencer said grabbing her arm, and guiding her outside of the small bar, but before she reached her car, Aria gagged, and threw up all over the side walk, getting some throw up on Spencer's shoes.

"Oh my god, ew." Spencer shrieked as she dragged Aria to her car.

_Some days passed, and Hanna was still collecting-or trying to collect-the memories she forgotten. It was like when she was taking a test, she barely would study, but she knew the answers were somewhere hidden in her mind. But, this wasn't just a History test, this was much more important. Lucas was dead. Someone ran them off the road. Something had to happen, for the extremes of the horrible situation. She was grateful to get out of the hospital, and to her own home-not that she would feel any safer there-but at least she wouldn't be locked up in a small room with 1950's wall paper, and a stiff mattress. She wondered if this was the last time she would be coming home from the hospital from something traumatic, or worse; not coming home at all. She was scared, no that was an understatement, she was terrified-beyond. She didn't feel safe any where, or with any one-not even Caleb. She felt the way she felt the night they found out Mona was A; helpless and terrified. She was really beginning to doubt the world. Was there any safe place left? Her friends, and her self, seemed to be almost murdered every other month, Caleb was shot, Maya, Ian, Alison, Garret and Lucas were all dead. The question now, was who was going to be gone many times can you survive a near-death experience?_

_She thought back to when she was a child. Her Aunt Sharon had died, when she was seven, and she didn't really understand. Her mom told her, that there comes a time, where you are supposed to move on; you are needed somewhere else. She said that it was a tragic thing that happens, but you can't escape death. Death is always lurking behind you, and no matter how fast or how far you run, you can't escape it. When it wants to catch up to you; it will. Hanna felt like all these near death experiences was death tripping her. She would look up at death, but he would just laugh at her. She would get up, and then start running again, death always on her tail. Each time she fell, it was harder to get up, and she feared that the day she would be too weak to get up, was coming soon.  
_

_"Hanna, what are you thinking about?" Caleb asked her, his brown eyes completely focused on her bruised and stitched up face._

_"Death is laughing at me." She said numbly._

_"What?" He blurted, looking at her like she was ridiculous._

_"The grim reaper is laughing at me!" She exclaimed, looking at him. _

_"Hanna," He said softly, furrowing his eyebrows._

_"No, I'm serious. He is laughing away, while I try and run from him. But, I can't. I can't run from him-He's always lurking behind me!"_

_"Hanna," He said more concern in his voice now, "Death can laugh all he wants. But, you're here. That's what matters. You could have died, but you didn't. Death is always going to be there, but don't let it stop you from living your life. What matters is you're still here, and while you could be gone tomorrow, you shouldn't let that stop you from living today." He told her, grabbing her hands._

_"But, what if it does come tomorrow?" She asks helplessly._

_"Maybe it will. But, that's still tomorrow. This is today, and as of today, you're here. I'm not going to question why you didn't die in that car crash, because for whatever reason you survived, I'm so grateful. You got a second, or third, chance. Just don't question it. Just be thankful for it." He tells her, boring into her blue eyes. "I don't know what I would have done if I lost you, Hanna. I don't like to think about it. And the fact, that I can lose you at whatever moment, terrifies me so much. But, it makes me so much more grateful for the time I do have with you."_

_For the first time since the accident, Hanna smiled. "I love you Caleb." _

Even though Spencer hadn't completely forgiven Aria, she takes care of her because she is one of her best friends, no matter what. After hearing Aria complain about how she didn't want to go to her own home, for whatever reason, Spencer took her to her own apartment. Hanna was surprisingly home. Usually on Saturday nights, she would be at Caleb's, or wherever. But, today she and Emily sat at the kitchen table, going over the engagement party invitations. They seemed concerned for Aria, and Hanna helped Spencer tuck Aria into bed. Aria was actually harder to put to bed then Noah. She kept squirming around, and saying "It's too hot!" or "This mattress is too stiff!" but, eventually she dozed off into Aria land. After putting Aria to bed, Spencer started to help Hanna and Emily with the engagement party invitations, because well, they needed it. The invitations needed to be mailed out tomorrow, and they only had forty out of one hundred and seventy completed.

"Where's Noah?" Emily asked furrowing her eyebrows, as she tied the pastel pink ribbon onto the invitation.

"He's with my dad, camping." Spencer replied briskly. "He'll be back tomorrow."

"Oh," Emily nodded.

"So, why were you at a bar Spence?" Hanna asked knowingly, as she wrote out some one's address on an envelope. She looked up and arched her eyebrows, as if she was saying 'I'm waiting.' Spencer internally groaned, leave it to Hanna to know something was wrong.

"Um," Spencer said biting her lip as she tied a pastel pink ribbon. "I don't know. To get a drink?" She said lightly, trying her best to push off the subject.

"Really?" She nodded slowly, her blue eyes squinting. "So, you just went because you wanted a drink? Why didn't you ask me to come?"

"I-" She gaped, Emily's attention was now on the two girls. "I um," She looked at Hanna timidly. "I figured you were busy," She said.

"Spencer, did something happen?" Hanna asked.

"What? No." Spencer said, shifting her eyes back to the invitation.

"Did Toby come back?" Hanna asked, a hint of softness now in her voice.

Spencer didn't say anything to this.

"Spencer," Hanna sighed.

"I've had a few conversations with him actually." She confessed. Both girls looked at her warily. "I-I'm thinking about being friends with him."

"What!" Hanna shrieked.

"Spencer, are you sure?" Emily asked, worry in her brown eyes. Wow, she at least thought Emily would be supportive.

"I don't know, okay?" She said returning her eyes to invitation.

"Spencer, he was A." Hanna said slowly.

"I know," She stiffened her shoulders, still not looking at her.

"He lied to you for like...a year." Emily added wearily.

"I know." She said bitterly.

"But, you want to be friends with him?"

"Look, I'm not asking for your permission." She shot bitterly, finally looking up at her concerned friends.

"We are just worried-" Hanna said meekly.

"I'll be fine." Spencer assured them. She knew her friends just wanted the best for her, but they didn't know what that was. And maybe neither did she, but she was about to find out.

_Hanna's memory was still at a blank a month later. As much as she tried, she couldn't remember even getting into a car with Lucas. Although, maybe she didn't have to remember. No one had heard from A from before the accident. Maybe, 'A' was finally satisfied, and moved on. Maybe the worst was over. The girls should have known better to think 'A' would ever be satisfied._

_Hanna sat her desk, working on homework, Emily had dropped by earlier. This was the first time she was home alone since coming home from the hospital. She was scared, but she wasn't going to beg anyone to stay with her. Spencer was at a doctors appointment, accompanied by Aria. Emily's father had came home, and she was having dinner with him. Her mother was at work, and Caleb was visiting his mother. Sure, Hanna was scared to be alone. But, she figured she would have to face being alone eventually. So why not now?_

_It was early March, and the skies were dimming. The storm was starting, and the temperature in her room was dropping. A rumble of thunder, made Hanna jump. She felt more vulnerable with the sounds of thunder, and flashes of lighting, surrounding her. Suddenly, being alone, seemed more than she could bear. She picked up her phone, and dialed Emily's number. No answer. Before she could even call Caleb, she heard something from the downstairs. It most certainly was a tree branch, and it defiantly wasn't thunder. Her heart pounded quickly, as she felt her hands shake as she dialed Caleb's number. Straight to voice-mail. Before Hanna could even dial Spencer or Aria's number, she heard stomping foot steps, the sound becoming heavier and louder, as the long seconds passed. Some one was in her house and it wasn't her mother; it was only seven, and her mother doesn't get home till after eight. As the stomps came closer, she dialed 911, and stood up abruptly, to find something to protect her self from the stranger._

_When Hanna put the phone up to her ear, all she heard was rapid beeping. _

_She glanced at her phone, her shaky fingers accidentally dialed 912 instead of 911. She quickly redialed a nine, and then a one, but before she dialed the last one, she saw the dark figure out of the corner of her eye. She felt paralyzed, and unable to move. Suddenly, all the memories came rushing back to her. Her and Lucas taking a drive, so he could tell her about A, Lucas telling her about how Mona was faking it, how the black mailed him, how Dr. Sullivan is his biological mother, and most importantly how Alison was still alive. And in the flesh, here she was. More alive, than ever._

_"Miss me Hefty?" The blond smirked._

The next morning, Hanna went to Caleb's, to finalize the invitations, leaving Spencer alone with Aria. Although, Aria was just slept until a quarter after noon. Spencer, supplied her friend coffee, and mouth wash. She made her a omelette, and awaited for an explanation. She watched Aria pick at her omelette for fifteen minutes before she finally spoke up. "I'm really sorry, Spence. You didn't have to help me..." Aria's voice trailed, as she met her friend's eyes.

"Aria, you're my best friend." Spencer sighed, leaning over the counter. "I wasn't just going to leave you their for the vultures to eat. When I got to that bar, you were completely wasted." Spencer explained. Aria didn't say anything, but picked at her omelette a little more. After a pause, Spencer took in a deep breath, "Aria, why were you wasted at a bar? What happened? I've never seen you that intoxicated..." Spencer said.

Aria looked at her friend wearily, "I just wanted to feel better." She admitted weakly.

"Aria, what happened? You can tell me." Spencer assured her. "Look, I don't like that you kept that secret from me, but you're still my best friend. I'm here for you."

Aria kept her hazel eyes on the coffee mug. "I've been trying to get pregnant now, for months." Aria admitted numbly. "Almost a year now." She added.

"Aria, look you just got to keep trying," Spencer supported after a long pause.

"No," She shook her head softly. "I went to the doctors last week," She said, the numbness in her voice becoming sadness. "They told me I can't have kids." She confessed, her watery eyes finding Spencer's.

"Aria," Spencer tilted her head softly. "I'm so sorry." Aria had wanted kids the most out of the group of friends. Hanna was always on the fence about it, Emily seemed indifferent about it, and Spencer really didn't have the chance to decide if she wanted kids. Aria always dreamed of having children. She even told Spencer, that Noah would be like their older brother. And sure, she had Malcom. But, he wasn't hers. He was her _step son. _But, his mother would always be Maggie.

"How do I even tell Ezra?" Aria said, tears falling down her face. "What if he leaves me? This whole year we've been talking about having kids, and what if he goes back to Maggie? They already had Malcom together."

Spencer rushed over to her crying friends, with open arms. Aria nearly fell into her embrace, and let out a cry. "Aria, he loves you. There's other ways. You can get someone to have your baby, you can adopt. He won't leave you," Spencer soothed her crying friends, as she rubbed her back in a circular motion.

"But, I'll never be an actual mom. I'll never be pregnant, I'll miss that special connection with them. It's not the same." She mumbled through her tears.

_"Put the phone down Hefty." Alison demanded. "Don't make this harder, than it is." Alison said with a step forward. Hanna glanced at the phone with a gulp. Was this just her imagination playing tricks on her? She's seen Alison before, in her hospital room. The next thing that happened, assured Hanna, that this wasn't a hallucination, but reality. Alison was attacking her, the phone flying to the ground, before Hanna could press send. Hanna screamed as Alison pushed her against the wall. She had a strong grip around Hanna's neck, and Hanna was gagging desperately for air. Her eyes watered as Alison blurred. _

_"Please, don't." Hanna begged desperately, as she attempted to push Alison off of her. But, it was no use. Alison was too strong. _

_"I didn't want to do this. But, this is what happens when silly boys, forget about revenge." She said a familiar viciousness in her voice. Alison stepped close, tightening her grip on Hanna's neck, and the sounds of Hanna's pain increasing. "You just can't trust any one these days." Alison whispered. Hanna thought back to Caleb, her mother, Spencer and the other girls. She couldn't give in this easily. She managed to reach something-her pink furry lamp-and hit Alison over the head with it. Alison let out a groan of pain, and her loosened for a brief second, which was enough time for Hanna to push her off her, and fall to her floor reaching for her phone. "You bitch!" Alison screamed in rage, as Hanna pressed send, and Alison tackled her._

_"You stupid bitch, I own you." She gritted through her teeth, fighting with the blond, turning her over, so she was now on top of her. "I should have never invited you in this group!" Alison screamed, pulling something out from her jacket. Hanna's eyes bulged when she saw the object. "No, Alison don't-" Hanna shouted through her tears, trying to pry Alison off of her. "I think Hefty Hanna needs an incision," Alison smiles as she stabbed Hanna in the stomach with the dagger. Hanna winced at the pain, as Alison dragged the blood dagger out of her stomach. She managed to fling the bloody dagger out of Alison's hands, and throw a punch at the blond's face. But, Alison was quick, and much more stronger. She began to choke Hanna again, and Hanna felt her self fading away into the light. Maybe, this was her final encounter with death._

Aria began to calm down after a while, but that wasn't the only secret Aria was sharing. Spencer told Aria that they could watch whatever she wanted, but Aria chose _Law and Order SVU _because she knew this was favorite show and maybe, Spencer wouldn't be as mad when she tells her other secret. She didn't tell her about her not being able to have kids, to fluff her up. She just needed to tell someone. But, she also needed to tell Spencer a much bigger secret. A secret that she had buried a long time ago, never intending to bring it to the surface ever again. She needed to get rid of the skeletons in her closet, and come clean; even if meant losing Spencer forever. "Spencer, can you pause it, please?" Aria said softly.

"Yeah, of course." Spencer murmured, as she pressed pause. "What's wrong?"

Aria licked her lips, "There are things, that I haven't told you." She said hesitantly.

Spencer furrowed her eyes confused. What else could Aria possibly be hiding? She bowed her head down, and narrowed her eyes on the tiny brunette. "I'm listening.."

"After Hanna..." She gulped. "Remember how a week after Hanna got back from the hospital, Ezra and I broke up?" Aria spoke up timidly.

"Yes," Spencer's voice trailed.

"Well, I lied about why we broke up. We didn't break up because of me not telling him about Malcom, or Maggie. I wasn't just giving him time to be with his son, I-" She gulped. "Those were all lies."

"Why did you lie?" Spencer asked skeptically.

"After Hanna got home, I told her about how Ezra had a bunch of romantic old movies. She seemed to be okay with watching them, so I went to Ezra's and he wasn't home. I went through all his old movies, and I found something..." Her voice trailed. "I found something." Aria spoke up meekly.

"What did you find?" Spencer asked sternly, closing the gap between them on the couch.

"He had an N.A.T. video." Aria blurted.

**_So will Hanna survive or is she actually a zombie in this story? Stay tuned ;) jk she *SPOILER ALERT* she obviously survives~ but stay tuned. _**

**_And little cliff hanger(ish) at the end there? Yuuuuuuuup. More to come on that, of course. Theres way more to the story, then just that. _**

**_And did anyone catch my hints about Aria's first secret involving with like having kids? I've dropped hints, for Aria's love of children within the chapters and yeah. _**

**_But engtjngvt._**

**_Everything has a purpose-let me tell you that. Now, any more theories about Ezra? I want to hear them :)_**

**_And I sprung some Haleb in there.~_**

**_but isn't your hancas hearts hurting? Mine certainly is._**

**_Anyways, Toby won't be in the next chapter. But one of my favorites who looks like him will be :)_**

**_And well. Sorry if the fight scenes SUCKED. I've never really written action, lol._**

**_Anyways, thank you so much for the reviews. Please please please tell me what you thought about this chapter. Tell me if you hated it, or if you loved it. OR WHATEVER. Just review please. I know there wasn't SPOBY but, you know story lines are a drag._**

**_BTW HAPPY THANKS GIVING. THANK YOU FOR BEING AMAZING READERS. _**

**_xoxo Cat_**

**_Leave a review ( Please heh)_**


	15. Chapter 15

I'm soooooooo sorry for the long update, omg. I just. I'm tired all the freaking time, and I can't write when i'm tired. Plus all my homework, and school, and I haven't been in a good mood lately, like in the past week, because of things, and just I'm sorry. I hope you'll understand that sometimes life gets in the way. Plus my hands really hurt? Like i don't know whats happening. But I'm so sorry!

Thank you so much for the reviews though. The long ones especially, I hope I don't disappoint.

* * *

Secrets Revealed

"Wait, Aria… What?" Spencer asked in utter shock. Poem writing, hopeless romantic; Ezra Fitz, had an N.A.T. video"? No, Aria had to be wrong. Then again, everyone has a dark side.

Aria gulped, staring at her friend with big unblinking eyes. She wanted to tell her, she was going to tell her, but she didn't want her to freak out. She didn't want her to hate Ezra, or not trust him. Knowing Spencer, she would. Perhaps, by telling Spencer this, it will be the final straw on their friendship, but Aria already knew that. She knew the risk, and knew how Spencer would react. She knew her so well. "It was a N.A.T. video," Aria restated, licking her dry lips. Spencer was just staring at her, more or less, glaring, she wanted her to continue. So she did, "I didn't know what to do. I was mad—confused, I didn't understand what was going on. So I called, and texted Ezra, practically screaming into my phone—and at that point I totally forgot about Hanna. Anyways, he didn't pick up or text me back, or anything. So, I got impatient, and I watched it." She gulped, letting her eyes fall to her shaky fingers picking at her socks. "And the videos—they were off Ali, and us. And—Toby and Jenna, and everything that we saw on the one Mona or whoever handed us." She was almost afraid to look up. She could already see Spencer's face, disgust, and confusion, her eyebrows knitted, and her lips pursing. "And a few videos of Ian, Jason, and Garret on them..." She added in a mumble.

"Aria, what the hell." Spencer said after a pause, her voice cold, and bitter. Aria finally looked up in shame, her face resembling a puppy dog's who just peed on the carpet. Just as she imagined, Spencer was staring at her in total disgust. It made her feel even worse.

"There's more." She forced herself to say. When he finally came back, I was just in some trance. I was just starring at the TV, and I didn't even know what to say!" She said in distraught. "I made him tell me everything." She told her calmly.

"And that is?" Spencer asked after a pause.

_Hanna woke up in a hospital, great, another hospital. Wait, she was in a hospital. She was alive, and in a hospital. She somehow survived, she glanced around, and there was Spender sleeping beside her, "Spencer," Hanna spoke more loudly as she could, she felt very weak, like that one word was an entire performance of some belching out show tune. "Spencer," Hanna repeated, moving her hand up, the I.V. cords following her every move, so she pat her friend on the shoulder._

_Spencer mumbled "No, hold on." _

_"Spencer!" Hanna said again with as much strength as she could._

_Spencer fluttered her eyes open, drowsily looking around the dark room, her eyes fell on Hanna, and after a second, she realized Hanna was awake. "Hanna!" Spencer exclaimed, an instant smile forming on her lips. She was quick to hug the blond, and with all the strength she had, the blond gave a weak hug back. "I'm so happy you're okay!" Spencer said, almost tearing up from her joy._

_"Where's Alison? What happened?" Hanna asked. "Where is everyone? Are they okay?"_

Aria swallowed hardly, now or never, "He was on the N.A.T club for awhile, I guess Jason's parents wanted him to take some extra courses at Hollis, and Ezra was in one of them. I guess they became friends, and after a few parties, they became close enough, that Jason invited Ezra to join their little club. He was only in it for awhile, he decided that it was too much, and I guess he tried to leave, but Ian didn't trust him enough or something. Then Ali disappeared, and well…"She gulped. "Things got worse. The club sort of fell apart, at least that's what Ian wanted everyone to think."

"What does that mean?" Spencer asked narrowing her eyes on her friend.

"Apparently, Ian was working for the A team. He would video tape Alison-and us-then give it to whomever wanted it. Ezra didn't know about any of this, Ian was always selling the videos, under the table." Talking about this made her cringe, it was so gross. They were still only children. "Anyway, after Ali went missing, so we thought anyways, his business continued with the A team. He would video record us-well you guys since I was in Iceland-then hand it all over to the A team. Jason was gone, but Ian recruited Garret-and Ezra." She let out a deep breath. "He needed money to pay for his apartment, and everything." She quietly told her friend, looking timidly up at her friend through her thick eyelashes. "So ,he helped them. After awhile, he stopped though, and he kept the video for insurance. If they ever Got caught for all their sick little home movies, than Ian would be going down too, he feared Ian would try to blame him for all of it, and yeah." She said letting out a heavy sigh. She wished thats where the story ended, but there was so much more.

"So he knew who you were when he hit on you? I mean he had to..." Spencer said almost sympathetically. Aria has always been huge on fate, saying how they met was such an important moment, and if it hadn't happened she would just be another student. Spencer on the other hand refused to believe in fate, you made your own choices, and you can't blame 'fate' for what happens to you. You decide whom to let inside, and trust; fate doesn't make your choices.

"Yes I guess. He was drinking though, and he hadn't seen my face in a long time, he told me that I looked familiar to him, and thats why he stroked up a conversation in the first place. But, then he put the pieces together when he saw us all in class." She said in an almost mumble. She knew Spencer was judging her, and it made her whole relationship with Ezra seem wrong, and maybe it was on some levels, but she didn't really care, when she was with him it felt nothing but, right.

It was silent between the two for a long time. Spencer didn't know what to say, she didn't even know what to feel. Jason was part of the N.A.T. club but, now he's a big part of her family, and her life. People make mistakes, but its hard to determine which ones are forgivable.

"Spencer," Aria broke the silence, awaking Spencer out of her trance. Spencer peered at her tiny friend, her brown eyes still flustered with all the news. "there's more," Aria admitted meekly.

"More!?" Spencer rose her eyebrows, "how many skeletons can you stuff into one closet? My god." Spencer said in frustration, shaking her head away, and pinching the bridge of her noise.

Aria bit her lip, and let her eyes trail down, her head slightly bobbing. It was a lot to take in, and she wasn't expecting any sympathy. "Well, what is it?" Spencer more or less demanded, rubbing her tired eyes, as she picked her head to stare at her friend.

"_The police caught her. They got to your house as soon as they heard some one screaming and not replying to their questions. You lost a lot of blood, so you should probably rest." Spencer said with an uneasiness._

_"No, Spencer." Hanna said as firmly as she could. "What else happened? Did I miss another week of my life?"_

_"No, it's only been about six hours." Spencer shook her head softly. "They arrested Alison, and Alison didn't think twice about pulling Mona under the bus with her. You went to the hospital, and they called the rest of us in for questioning. My parents told them that I was um, pregnant, so they told me to go home, and get some rest, and I can come by in the morning."_

_"And of course you don't follow the rules." Hanna smiled a little, even in horrifying situations like this, she would be cracking jokes._

_"I had to see you were okay." Spencer admitted, a hint of a smile smile mirroring Hanna's._

_"Are my mom and Caleb down there too?" Hanna asked shyly._

_"Caleb is. Your mom was called down there, but she had to fill out some forms here and she wanted to make sure you were okay, so she came here first. She left for the police station right before I dozed off." Spencer told her friend._

_Hanna let out a sigh of relief, so everyone was okay. It was all over. "So, everyone's okay?"_

_"Yeah, every one is okay." Spencer nodded a little._

_"And it's over?" Hanna asked timidly._

_"I think so," Spencer said softly, a small smile quirking up on her face. _

_"So it was Alison all along," Hanna said, her voice small, and indifferent._

_"Yeah." Spencer replied in a monotone, her eyes far away. _

"Okay," Aria's voice trailed with anxiety. "When you, when you thought Jason was dangerous, and you told Ezra, well he knew all about the N.A.T. and everything," she said. "So, he talked to Jason alone, he threatened him to stay away from me, it wasn't only out of jealousy, he thought the people hurting us was them." She grimaced. "After Jason told him that he was no longer in the N.A.T. club, Ezra wanted other answers, so he began to look for them." Aria sighed, biting her lip, more or less chomping on it. At this rate it was going to fall off before she even finished...maybe Spencer would be a little more sympathetic if that happened.

Spencer knew this was going, _began to look for them, _all the loose ends tied back to the same place: 'A' or the 'A team' since the number of members seems to keep adding up. Her jaw dropped as she put the final piece of the puzzle together. "Ezra was on the A team?"

Aria wouldn't look at her. She just couldn't. But, the softness in her voice was vivid, even if it was hidden by all the coldness and bitterness covering it. Spencer hated being lied too, and Aria couldn't blame her. She hated it too. They had a lot of things in common, and the feeling of anger when being lied to, was one of them. "Just listen," She quietly begged, nor confirming or denying if Spencer's statement was true. "I guess Mona found him, and told him that I would be safe if he listened to her directions." She inhaled a little before rushing out the next part, "He was the one who unscrewed the bolts on the scaffolding, and sent Melissa the black swan costume to wear." She rushed out, peering up with one eye at Spencer, as if she was a little child, and Spencer was a scary movie.

"What?" Spencer breathed staring at her in shock. It's not like Spencer could be so upset, all the things Toby had done, he deserved it, hell he even almost killed Caleb's mother, but yet she felt sort of defensive. She felt the need to blame Ezra for everything that happened to her and Toby, but she knew it wasn't his fault, hell it wasn't even Mona or Alison's or Lucas' or Jenna's, their relationship was doomed from the start.

"That's not the worst part," Aria grimaced, squeezing her eyes shut at the horribleness of it all. Spencer stayed quiet, and waited. She was too much in shock to say anything after everything Aria has told her. "Mona told him he just had to do one more thing, and I would be safe, and he would be done with them all." She heaved a breath, peal off the band-aid, right? "He was the one to follow Hanna and Lucas out of Rosewood and drive them off the road." Aria rushed out, talking so fast that she didn't know if she would have to repeat her self.

Spencer's eyes bulged, and her heart dropped at the statement. For years, she blamed Alison, or Mona for the accident. She despised them more than anything, more than Toby, for it. Hearing Aria say those things, it was surreal. It was like a really vivid dream, but with crazy hallucinations. The hate she held for Mona, for Alison, for Jenna, for Toby, it all transferred to Ezra in that moment. She let her child alone with that monster, the horrifying possibilities that could have happened flooded into her brain, and she felt like she was going to hurl. She sat motionlessly, her eyes open but, focused on nothing. What seemed like ten minutes passed before even a murmur came out of her mouth. "Aria, what the fuck. What is wrong with you." She said, her nostrils flaring, standing up so abruptly from the couch that she felt dizzy. "How are you with that, that, that monster!"

"Spencer," She sighed, her lips curving into a frown. "Please just," She sighed. What was she asking?

"How could you be with someone who did that to our best friend Aria, please tell me that. Explain, because i'm not comprehending this all." She said moving her hands around to gesture to the fiasco.

"I was mad alright!" She stood up quickly, her words a little more harsher than she anticipated. "Its not like I just said, 'Oh awesome, you did that to Hanna? Wow, I love you even more now Ezra'" She said mimicking Ezra's voice as she talked. "I was mad, and it took me forever to forgive him, he's never done anything that suggests he's a psychopath, he was just trying to protect me."

"And I guess that's all that matters." She shook her head at her friend, or maybe ex-friend. "You, that's all you think of." Spencer said sharply, glaring at Aria with the look of death. "You're so selfish," She spat in disgust, as she stomped away from her to grab her jacket.

"Spencer, Spencer," Aria whined following her around. "Spencer, listen." She begged, but what else could she tell her? Everything she was saying was true... "Spencer, I'm sorry. Spencer, where are you going?" She questioned helplessly, as she watched her friend reach for the doorknob.

She didn't tell her where though, all she said was _"You better not be here when I get back,"_ and Spencer slammed the door shut before she could even hear Aria's helpless _"But, your my ride..."_

**Um so the whole flash back thing isn't over. Like there will be more Alison explaining stuff, but Hanna's in the hospital, and Spencer's preggos, so like they can't be up all night with all this shit. You know? Any way leave a review maybe ? :) I know I said Noah would be in this chapter, but i'm a big fat liar, things don't always work out the way i see them. Sorry this was short :( but still leave a review pleassssssssssssseeeeee and thank you. hehe.**

**ps. Thank you for the reviews. xx Cat.**


	16. Chapter 16

I know I said that Noah was going into kindergarten next year in like chapter one, but I meant like school year kind of, I don't know what I wrote but he's in kindergarten **this year**. Sh, sorry. But I lied I updated today J I think a lot of you will be pleased with me….about this chapter, maybe? Well, tell me what you think. All your reviews make me giddy, and I just love you all so much, just thank you soooooo much. Okay, xoxo gossip girl, jk wrong fandom (I've been watching it a lot lately, judge me not) xx Cat. Oh btw, short chapter, sorry :c

Chapter Sixteen

The rest of August went by quickly, filled with school supply shopping, and wedding plans, Spencer was a busy bee. Spencer also kept her mouth shut about Aria and her dirty little secrets, and she hadn't even spoken to Aria since she heard the disturbing news about Ezra. Her friends were suspicious about it all, repeating the same questions; "Why are you two even fighting? When will you forgive Aria? What did she do?" and she imagined they asked Aria similar questions. She tried her best to stay clear of Aria, but with Hanna's wedding only a few months away, and Aria being one of her bridesmaids, that seemed nearly impossible, but somehow she has avoided her. She knew that she would have to face Aria sooner or later, but she preferred later much better.

As for Toby, being 'friends' wasn't quite working out. She avoided all his phone calls, and rethought her decision to be friends with him, those feelings of betrayal seeping back into her system. Of course, like Aria, she couldn't avoid him forever. He was bound to show up sometime.

Then there was Larson, the funny, charming guy, whom kissed her outside of a bar. She hadn't talked to him much either. In a way she just felt better off alone. Besides, why drag someone else in the chaos of her life. "How was the first day of school?" Spencer asked her four year old son, his small hand in hers, as they walked through the parking lot to her car.

"Goooooood!" He exclaimed. "We got to play with clay! And I made a rocket ship, and ms. Um—"

"Frank?" Spencer reminded her son of his teacher's name.

"Yes! Ms. Frank! She said mine was really really really good, and I got a sticker, and then we had story time, and I already knew the story, so she let me help her tell it," he spoke quickly, and eagerly.

"Did you learn anything?" She asked.

"No." He shook his head, hopping into the back seat, and into his car seat.

"Well, that's good, who learns things at school, anyways." She joked with a laugh at the bluntness of her son. "Well, Ms. Frank said that you did very well today," Spencer told her son, when she was buckled up in the front seat. "So, I was thinking, how about we go to the toy store, and—"

"Yesssssssssss!" The little boy shouted with glee. "Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes—"

"Okay, Okay," She laughed, "Settle down, you crazy child." She told her son, before starting up her car and driving off to the local _Toys-R-Us._

_"I can't believe it was Alison the whole entire time." Hanna said shuttering the day after she came home from the hospital. "I mean, that she never died. It was her twin, I mean why would she even do this to us. Why would she kill her twin?" Hanna went on, a flustered look on her face._

_"We were her dolls, she wanted to control us." Spencer spoke dryly._

_"I thought everyone has a motive though? I mean… why would she want any of these terrible things to happen. What did we do deserve this?" Emily added._

_"Nothing." Aria piped up. "Spencer's right. She just wanted to prove that she had control over us. She was a manipulative bitch, and we were just dolls, she didn't think of how we felt, or any of the consequences. It was just a game to her." Aria cringed at the sickness of it all. "She didn't need a motive, it was fun to torture us."_

_"My mom wants me to see a therapist." Hanna said, twisting a loose thread on her blanket, "I actually think it's a good idea. I mean… I still don't feel safe."_

_"My mom does too." Spencer added._

_"I think it would be good if we all went," Aria said, a little lightness in her voice. "I mean, we all feel betrayed right? I know I do… I don't even know how I'm going to trust anyone…" _

"Spencer!" A familiar man yelled, causing the brunette to look up. "Hey, good to see you." He said calmly, a smile plastered to his face. "How are you?"

"Oh, Hi, Larson." She greeted. "Good, actually. And how are you, Sean?" She greeted the little boy next to Larson.

"Great!" He exclaimed. "Hey Noah." The little boy greeted the other, as they faded away into a conversation of their own.

"You haven't called me back?" Larson pointed out immediately, as he twirled the action figure in his hands.

"I'm sorry." She said, "I've been busy, with Noah starting school, and my friends getting married," She trailed off.

"Hey, Hey, it's okay. You'll just have too make it up to me with another date, or two." He smiled.

"Um, hmm." She pondered. "I don't know,"

"Now, you know I won't take no as an answer" He said. "Come on, keep your promise, go out with me."

"I—" Her voice trailed, as her eyes roamed around, and that's when she noticed he was missing. Suddenly, her heart sped up, and she felt like the room was spinning. "Sean," She said as calmly as she could, "Where did Noah go?"

"Were playing hide and sneak! I need to go find him," The little blond boy announced, running down the aisle.

"Sean, get back here!" Larson yelled jogging after him, "I'm so sorry," He twisted his head around to apologize, before continuing to jog down the aisle. Spencer let out a groan, her heart racing fast, and her hands shaking with fear. How could he run off without her seeing him? What a terrible mother she was. She scurried down the aisles, quickly, hurrying to the front of the store, so she could aware the workers of her missing little boy.

"_So, Spencer, what do you think really broke your trust in all of this? If we find the problem, it will be easier to find a solution." The therapist asked her, tapping her manicured nails, on her knees, probably becoming impatient with Spencer, because she wasn't progressing as well as the others. _

_Around two months passed since the whole ordeal with Alison. The gossip about the four girls seemed to calm down, but Spencer's anxiety hadn't. They diagnosed her with an anxiety disorder, three weeks after she started therapy, but they didn't seem to help. _

_And by now, the news of Spencer Hastings, daughter of Peter and Veronica Hastings, traveled all through Pennsylvania and it was even juicer that Toby Cavanaugh was the potential father and disappeared oh so long ago. It all made Spencer sick. _

_"Do you think you feel any better?" She asked._

_"Then a couple months ago?" She asked. "I guess." She lied._

The little boy wandered around the aisle ways, he was had no idea where he was, and he just wanted his mommy. He wandered and wandered, clueless of where he was, the aisle ways so empty, and scary for a helpless four year old. "Noah?" He heard someone say his name. Noah looked over, and spotted a strange man walking towards him.

"Hey," He said, squatting down to the little boy's eye level. "Where's your mom?"

"I don't know, but I'm not supposed to talk to strangers," He mumbled, a helpless look in his big matching blue eyes.

"Well, I know your mom, and my names Toby, so see we aren't strangers anymore." Toby offered lightly. The little boy squinted at him, as if he was trying to figure him out, Noah was defiantly Spencer's son. "Want me to call your mom?"

"Alright," Noah said after a pause, still squinting at him, "But, no funny business. I already know I'm going to get in allots of trouble, and I can't offard funny business." The little boy went on.

"Okay, I promise no funny business." He vowed, "But, I think you meant 'afford' by the way, I am sure your mother would want me to correct you on that," He said with a small smile, glancing one last time at the little boy, before pulling out his phone, and dialing away to the number he dialed one too many times before. Like before, she didn't answer, which made him sigh. "She didn't answer, so how about I text her?"

"Okay, you think she is mad?" Noah asked Toby, as he watched him text his mother.

"Um, knowing her, probably." He scrunched up his face.

"She hate me?"

"No, no of course not! I promise you that she will still love you as much as she always did. She could never hate you, trust me." Toby told the little boy.

"Okay, I just don't want her to cry" The little boy sad sadly, and before Toby could say anything, his phone started to ring.

"Hold on," he held up a finger to the little boy, as he answered his phone. "Spencer?" He said immediately.

"Where are you? Which aisle? Is he okay? Is he crying, tell him I'll be there soon, and that I love him, and—"

"Spence—r," Toby corrected himself. They weren't close enough for him to call her Spence, sadly. "He's fine, and um," He looked down the aisle "Aisle 8" he told her.

"Okay, I'll be right there. Don't. Move." She demanded, not even offering a goodbye.

"I'll be right here," He mumbled softly, hanging up his phone. "So, your mommy is on her way here." He told Noah.

"Okay," He said softly. "If you friends with my mommy, why don't I ever see you? Are you like Aria? Because she never around anymore." He babbled.

"Um, I'm more of an old friend." He smiled weakly.

"You don't look old." He pointed out, with furrowed eye brows. "I mean you do, but not like old old like grammy and grampa."

This made Toby let out a single chuckle, "When I say old friend, I meant that we used to be friends, not necessarily that I'm old."

"So, you not friends anymore?"

"Um," Toby puffed out his cheeks, "Well, it's sort of complicated…"

"Noah!" Spencer exclaimed, relief in her voice, with opening arms, as she ran down the aisle, and fell on her knees to wrap the little boy in her arms and place light kisses all over his head. "My sweet baby boy, I was so worried, never do that again. I was so scared." She murmured as she placed more kisses on the top of his head.

"Mommy, your crushing me." The little boy mumbled.

"Good," She sighed, with a bright smile, as she pulled out of the bear hug, and pushed the little boy's thick chocolate hair back. "Never do that again, ever. I'm letting you off this time, but next time you're in for it." She warned him.

"Okay, Mommy." The little boy sighed, "So, does this mean I can't pick out a toy."

"Wow, aren't you smart." She smiled, "Maybe if Ms. Frank says your good, then you can get one at the end of the week, okay?" She said after a long pause.

"Okay," He sighed.

Spencer stepped up, her son's hand in hers, she wasn't letting him get away again. "Well, um, thank you, Toby. That was nice of you." She said, sucking in a sharp breath through her noise, and rolling back her shoulders to present herself better.

"Uh, no problem." He mumbled, nodding his head with a warm smile. "Noah was good company," he nodded to the little boy.

"Well, I'm glad you were here," She sighed with relief, "Who knows where he could have ended up," She said squeezing the little boy's hand, and glancing down at him. "Wait, why are you in a toy store anyways?" She asked after a second, squinting her brown eyes at Toby.

"Um, Jenna." He said awkwardly, "She's having a birthday party for her son on Saturday."

"Jenna," Spencer spat in disgust. "She had a kid?"

"Can I go to the party?" Noah asked.

"Honey, I don't really think we're invited." She told her son.

"Well, can you can us invited?" Noah asked the very tall man.

"Um," he mumbled.

Spencer glared at him. "Um, I don't really think you want to go. It's a very boring party, there's not even going to be cake!"

"No cake?! What?! Why not!?" The little boy screeched like it was a deadly sin.

"I don't know," Toby shook his head, "Crazy people."

"But, it's a party! Parties are fun!" Noah exclaimed.

"I mean I guess if you really want to come to some boring party, where they replace cake with asparagus." Toby said, his voice trailing off.

The little boy stuck out his tongue in disgust, "Ew!" He shook his head. "How could they do that?!"

"I don't know," Toby shook his head softly.

Spencer resisted a smile, god damn Toby Cavanaugh, he just had to be cute with kids, his kid actually, and how the hell did he know Noah hated asparagus. "Anyways," Spencer interrupted the two. "So Jenna has a kid?" She narrowed her brown eyes. "Who would ever—" She shuttered.

This made Toby laugh, "Um, well… he went to high school with us." He offered.

"Oh no…" She said after a pause, putting the pieces together. "Noel!?" She shrieked, more disgusted than before.

Toby nodded, "They make an interesting couple." He said slowly.

"Well, do tell little sketchy; happy birthday, for me." Spencer offered a smile.

"With pleasure" Toby smiled.

"So, see you around?" She smiled slightly after a second.

"Actually," Toby stopped her. "Could you help me pick out a gift, or better yet, Noah could? I mean he most likely would have better taste in this apartment, right?" He smiled at the little kid, who smiled, always happy to help others.

"Hey, hey, hey, I know how to pick out a gift—" She said cocking her head to the side.

"He asked me mommy, not you." The little boy told his mother, letting go of her hand, and taking Toby's instead. "Come on Toby, lets go find that poor boring little kid a gift, I feel pretty bad for him, so I'll look extra hard." Noah told the tall man, "Come on mommy, you can help." The little boy told his mother, who just shook her head behind the two, Noah was always a sweetheart.

"I guess, we can help for a little while." She sighed following the duo down the aisle. For the next twenty minutes, Spencer and Toby spent time together; not talking about 'A' or their dark twisted past, but about toys. Their small conversations were silly, and frivolous, but they were still conversations, it was still a start to mend their relationship, whether if they were just friends, or something more, it felt good to be together. To talk like they use to, she missed him, she wouldn't admit to anyone after how far she has come without him, but she missed him, and there was no doubt that he missed her.


	17. Chapter 17

_**Wow I really suck at updating, don't I? lol, okay, well this isn't that long, but IM SORRY OKAY. I'm not consistent. But, I'm on break now, and I'll try to get up as many chapters as I can while i'm on break, but finals are also coming up so lol fml. But anyways, thank you so much for the awesome reviews! Honestly they mean so much. I just adore them, okay thank you, i love you guys. xoxo Cat**_

Chapter Seventeen

Spencer Hastings promised herself a few things after finding out her boyfriend had pulled the ultimate betrayal on her; the first being never talking to Toby Cavanaugh again—broken—the second, not falling in love with anyone else ever again, because that really just means falling for someone's shit—that promise was still in tact, for now anyways—and the third no longer hoping for anything. Spencer was never one to believe in hope; most of the time it just brought forth misery, and the idea of hope, never occurred to her as a good feeling. If you don't hope, you aren't disappointed; you aren't doomed with the pain that could so easily be ignored. Spencer believed all this most of her life, but at the age of sixteen, Toby Cavanaugh, planted the idea in her head, that hope was a good thing, that hoping for something is a way to escape the present and live in the _brighter _future, for a few seconds. She thought he was right, for awhile, she hoped, she hoped every single day, visualizing herself happy, away from all the commotion of –A, and live a normal life. She pictured herself as a successful lawyer, married (to Toby, but she won't admit) and maybe even a mother of one or two children, but of course, all of that vanished after she found out Toby wasn't who he said he was (except, for the being a mother part of course). Her bright future dimmed, and became foggy, and defiantly didn't look inviting. She lost her escape, and was filled with crushed dreams, and disappointments. So she wonders, how, even after all of that, experiencing firsthand the heavy baggage hope carries; she is still hoping. Hoping for something, that is simply just ridiculous, that she can't fathom, how idiotic she is for hoping for such a thing. She is hoping to be one of those families, those families she see's everywhere, the ones that always seem to be judging and mocking her , the ones that she see's at the park, or at the ice-cream parlor; those families, that involve two parents versus one, those families that, as far as she knows, don't involve a morbid past. Even when she was a child, she would look at those families, and pretend her family was the same, but they weren't. The Hastings family was dysfunctional, and she did have two parents, but at times she felt like she didn't even have one. Now, she sees history repeating itself; when Noah comes home, and tells her that they were supposed to make something for their father, but he couldn't, when she see's children being picked up from the small preschool, or kindergarten, by presumably their father, whatever the situation, her heart aches, her heart aches for the little boy, because he deserves more. He is so innocent, and helpless, to the situation. He was just a tiny embryo when all hell broke loose, none of it was his fault, but yet he has to pay for the consequences. She tries to be the best mother she can be, but she can be the best mother in the world, but that still won't replace the position of his father.

When she was in the toy store, she saw herself in the position of those other families, she saw Noah, and his father, and she was his mother; they were a family for a moment, even if neither Toby nor Noah knew that. She saw it. She was in the shoes of one of those families she sees at the park, and ice cream parlor, except that was just the surface. In reality they were dysfunctional, they're pasts were dark and morbid, but for a second, a tiny second, it didn't feel dysfunctional, or wrong, it felt _right. _It opened a tiny of window of hope, that they could be one of those families at the parks, or at least close to that. She knew it was ridiculous, she knew the chance of that happening was equivalent to the chance that Hanna would wear flats to her wedding ceremony, but as crazy as the idea was, she still hoped for it. She couldn't stop herself from hoping for it, for hoping for Noah, but she knew hope was just another pathway to eternal misery.

"Spencer, what are you staring at?" Hanna asked, trying to lock her blue eyes on whatever Spencer was so distracted on (which was beyond the huge glass window; the small park across the street, from the small café) "Is there some hot guy outside, because I don't see anything. Maybe, I need glasses because, like, honestly all I see out there is a bunch of annoying children, a obnoxiously bright playground, and a bunch of cars driving past us, that are most likely ten times better than the HanMobile I drive around it." Hanna said, taking her eyes of the site outside, and returning them to one of the thousands of bridal magazines she now owned.

The only thing that got Spencer's attention, was the fact that Hanna just said _HanMobile, _"Did you just say HanMobile, like the Batmobile, but instead; Hanmobile." Spencer said, narrowing her mocha eyes on the blonde, who's attention was completely focused on her bridal magazines. If Hanna studied her books as much as she studied these bridal magazines, she would probably passed with A's instead of C's.

"Caleb started calling it that," She said, looking up at her friend. "I guess it sort of caught on? I don't know, it doesn't really matter, what matters is what you think of these." She slid the magazine closer to Spencer, keeping down the page with her thumb.

Spencer looked at the page; on it was a pair of white stiletto heels patterned with white lace. "They're...cute." Spencer offered, keeping her eyes on the shoes. In a swift movement, Hanna pulled the magazine back, shut it with more force than needed, and slammed it onto the small round table.

"Cute? Cute!" She exclaimed, clearly frustrated. "I don't need _cute, _I _need _elegant, something that will stand out." Hanna said, rubbing her temples, like a post and modern day stress filled Spencer Hastings. "I want something that will make people go; _Wow, look at how amazing she looks,_" She muttered, Spencer was beginning to wonder if Hanna was talking to her or herself.

"Hanna…you do realize no one will be able to see your shoes right?" Spencer asked her friend.

"It doesn't matter, I'll still see them!" She exclaimed, the tone of her voice, being a signal to Spencer that she needed to stop herself from saying anything else, or she would be walking out of this café without a head.

While Spencer let Hanna cool over, she decided to take the opportunity to text Jason to see how Noah was doing, without Hanna saying "You're smothering him!" or some other rude comment.

At first Spencer was angry with Jason. He knew that Ezra was involved with the N.A.T. club, and he never even told her. Wasn't he supposed to look out for her? But, after awhile, she decided that that's all he was to him. He wasn't aware of Ezra's other devilish acts. All of the N.A.T. club stuff was behind them, and there was no point in bringing it back up. Ezra wasn't a threat, Spencer knew he was just looking out for Aria, but that didn't make it _right, _but nevertheless, Jason also knew Ezra wasn't a threat. He was just sucked into some pervy club, that turned into something much more morbid than anticipated.

She was so distracted with writing her text, that she didn't even notice the short brunette coming up to them, with a helpless look on her face.

"Um, hi" Aria spoke wearily, glancing at Spencer once, before placing her full attention on Hanna.

_"Aria, you don't have to keep coming to these appointments with me, you know." Spencer told her friend, as the woman spread the cold gel on her stomach._

_"Are you trying to like get rid of me or something?" She teased, with a giggle. "Come on Spence, I already love this kid to bits and pieces, I want to be here." She told her friend. "Besides, we find out if it's a boy or a girl today, how can I not be here?" She went on._

Spencer didn't even have to glance at Aria to know it was her, she knew Aria's voice as well as she knew the back of her hand. Instead, she just shot a deathly glare at Hanna, who ignored her completely, stood up and welcomed Aria with a friendly hug. Spencer cringed, if only Hanna knew the truth.

"Spencer, I invited Aria here, because this feudal war has been going on for far too long." Hanna announced, stepping to the side, an arm still around the tiny brunette, and her other arm attached to her hip. "You guys are team freaking Sparia, so get your shit together, and make up. I'm going to go get another latte, try not to kill each other." She said, narrowing her blue eyes on Spencer on the last phrase.

Spencer watched Hanna leave, still making no eye contact at all with her former best friend. If Hanna just knew the truth, she would understand, she wouldn't be trying to make a menace for them, she would kick Aria out of her wedding, and possibly never speak to her again, so why didn't she just tell Hanna? If Hanna knew, she would defiantly be crushed, as would Emily. Both of their lives were so good right now, this would just plummet them back to the same drama high school brought them. Some secrets should just stayed buried forever, and Spencer decide this was one she would take to her grave. "Spencer," Aria acknowledged after a second, loud enough for Spencer to hear, but soft enough, that the man five feet away from her, wouldn't. "Why haven't you told Hanna?"

"It will hurt her more than anything, and you know it. Besides, you aren't a threat…and…. I don't really think Ezra is either." Spencer admitted slowly, finally meeting Aria's hazel eyes.

"I'm…" She inhaled, "Is there any chance, you would ever forgive me?" Aria asked, more or less, begged.

_"So, is it a boy or girl?" Aria asked eagerly, unable to keep her patience any longer._

_The doctor looked at Spencer, "Are you sure you want to know? Some people enjoy the surprise." She said dryly. She wasn't a big fan of team Sparia. She thought Spencer was too young, which was true, but it wasn't any of her business.  
_

_"Yes, yes, please." Spencer requested._

_"You're having a boy." The doctor announced with a sigh, clearly annoyed._

_But, Spencer and Aria, didn't let the doctor's annoyance affect them. Spencer smiled brightly, she had a feeling it was a boy. She would have loved her baby either way, but she wanted it to be a boy. Even when she was younger, and she pictured her self maybe having children, she wanted a boy. That way, he couldn't end up in some posse that mirrored Alison's posse. _

_Aria gripped her arm, and lightly jumped up and down. "Oh my god, you're having a little boy!" She squealed. _

"Look, I don't…" Spencer sighed, letting her eyes fall on her fidgety fingers placed on the stack of bridal magazines. "I don't know…" She had to admit she missed Aria; her fellow book work, her old movie marathon buddy, _her other half, _but what Aria did was horrible. Even if Spencer Hastings held the capability to forgive and forget, she would be doing it for the wrong reasons, she would simply just be doing it because she missed her. One of her other promises she made to herself was that she wasn't going to listen to her irrational heart anymore, all that brought was bad decisions and heart ache, instead she would go with her head, and her head said to stay away from Aria. "I'm not going to tell Hanna…or Emily, or anyone for that matter, but I don't think I can be friends with you." She rejected her.

Aria nodded her head to the ground, "I understand." She said in a mumble, a silence falling upon them after that. Neither knew what to say. Aria was almost afraid to say anything, she knew Spencer, she knew that giving her space, and time, was the best thing to do in this type of situation. Although Aria had a horrible feeling that she could give her all the time, and space, in the world, but it wouldn't be enough to patch up their broken friendship.

"I should probably go." Spencer finally said-after what seemed like a century of silence—picking up her almost empty coffee, and purse, before attempting to stand up.

"No, wait." Aria stopped her hesitantly, "You stay, I'll go."

"No, really… I need to do something anyways..just tell Hanna I'll see her at home, okay?" Spencer requested, standing up, and throwing her purse over her shoulder.

"Um, okay…" Aria responded with some hesitation. She watched her friend go off, uncertain of when she would see her again.

_"Oh, this one is from Aria," Spencer announced with a smile, looking across the room, at her tiny best friend. She ripped the adorable wrapping paper (storks flying with a baby blue background), and saved the white ribbon. She pulled out a small knitted dark blue baby beanie, and her grin extended, while her brown eyes beamed. "Aria, did you make this?" Spencer asked her friend._

_Aria nodded, and told her that there was more than just a beanie in the box._

_Spencer set the beanie down gently in her lap, and continued to look through the box. She pulled out a parenting book, and flashed a warm smile at her best friend. Spencer Hastings was always a worrier, and she worried deeply that she would fail as a parent. That she would end up being worse than her own, and destroy her future son's life. This book is just what she needed. "Thank you." She told her best friend genially. _

"I smell hamburgers," Spencer yelled as she stepped inside her half-brother's house, (he had made her a key). The smell was featured with sounds of footsteps, becoming louder and louder as the seconds passed by.

The little boy greeted her first by exclaiming "Hi mommy! Here I drawed you a doggy!" He said holding out the paper towards her, she took the paper from him, and smiled at the sight of it.

"Oh my goodness, it's a masterpiece," She cooed. "What did you name it?" Spencer asked her son.

"Toby" The little boy told her. Spencer's eyes bugged and her face tightened , as she nodded her head stiffly. Toby had made quite the impression on the Noah, now Noah just had another person to ask about (the other person being Aria of course) and Spencer would just have to offer another excuse of why he couldn't see them.

"Yeah, Spencer, isn't that a awesome name?" Jason said, his eyes deadlocked on hers, Spencer felt like a dear in headlights, here comes more lies and false explanations!

"Noah, why don't you go draw another picture…for Hanna?" Spencer offered her son.

"Okay!" He said before running off. Spencer sighed as she slipped her hands into her pockets, and hesitantly looked up at Jason, he didn't even know Toby was back, let alone, that she was communicating with him.

"So, Toby's back in town?" Jason asked softly. Spencer barley nodded her head before Jason continued to talk "Do you want to have a hamburger? Talk about this? Because..." He shook his head lightly, looking flustered, and his gaze filtering off to something else entirely. "I'm sort of confused, about this all."

Spencer sucked in a breath, "Sure,"

_She was on her way to getting better, on the road to recovery at least, she was actually talking to her therapist now, and that was a good start. She was letting more people in, not strangers, but she was opening up to her friends again at least, and surprisingly, Jason too. He always worried about her, but she knew he cared, probably more than her whole sister Melissa, and her parents were too busy, to take time out of their day, to talk to their youngest daughter. She knew they still weren't happy that she was pregnant, that while most high school graduates were getting ready for college this upcoming autumn, while she was eight months pregnant, living at home, but they could at least pretend they cared. _

_"Jason, you didn't have to get me anything," Spencer told him with a half smile, as she took the gift from him, glancing at him once and then letting her attention fall to the poorly wrapped gift._

_"Oh shut up Spencer. Aria told me your baby shower was on Sunday, and since I wasn't allowed to come-"_

_"Along with the rest of the male population," She added. "Well besides, this little boy right here." She cooed, as she placed her free hand on her round bump._

_"You still haven't decided a name?" He asked._

_"Not yet." She said simply._

_"Well, you know, Jason, is still up for grabs." He offered playfully._

_She rolled her eyes, "No thanks." She scrunched up her face, in fake disgust, as she looked up at him again._

_"Fine, fine." He chuckled softly, "Anyways, you seem to be in a better mood than you were the last time I saw you." He pointed out gently._

_She shrugged her shoulder, her smile fading, "I guess." She mumbled._

_"Has he called at all?" Jason asked hesitantly. She shook her head lightly, keeping her eyes on the poorly wrapped present. She knew exactly who Jason was referring to; Toby. "Surely, he had to have seen all of this crazy ass shit, on the news at least. I can't believe he just wouldn't care." Jason went on in disgust. Like most, Jason didn't know the whole story, all he knew was that Toby left town, and never came back. He didn't know why, or what drove him out, just that he left town. Spencer told him that he got a job offer he couldn't refuse, and that their relationship was withering away, so he took it. Of course, this lie was still left with questions, but it was the best she could come up at the time. "You two seemed so happy...that is whenever I saw you..I remember the first time I saw you guys, as a couple, I was still investigating if you were my sister or not, and Toby was working for me. You gave him this truck, and then I took a picture of you two in front of it." Jason remembered. Spencer's eyes began to water, as the memory invaded her mind, what Jason didn't know, was that, that was the first time Toby said 'I love you'. _

_"Yeah, can we just, not talk about Toby." She sniffled, blinking away her forming tears._

_"Yeah, I'm sorry, Spence." He shook his head lightly._

Spencer sat down in front the meal Jason prepared for her; a hamburger, sweet potato fries, and some baby carrots. If she has food in her mouth, than she'll have more time to come up with the awful lies she'll be feeding him. She didn't like lying, but lying was easier. The truth was complex, and complicated. Honesty was never a major aspect in her life, even though she wishes it was, she is cursed with these complex lies and dishonesty. "So," Jason began talking, as Spencer picked up her burger to take a chomp out of it. "How long has he been back?"

Spencer swallowed the bits and bites of hamburger left in her mouth before she answered, "Some time during the summer." She said solidly.

"And..." His voice awaited for more.

"And," She stiffened her posture. "That's about it. Nothing else happened." She lied.

"Then why is Noah naming his fictional dog; Toby?" Jason pressed.

"Um," She mumbled, twirling her sweet potato fry in a puddle of ketchup. "We ran into him..at the toy store, and he must have left an impression, but that's it!" She exclaimed, before stuffing the fry inside her mouth.

Jason studied her carefully, "So, you didn't tell Toby?" He asked after a second. She shook her head, as she chewed on her burger. "Are you going to?"

"Probably not." She declared with a sigh, "It's all too complicated." She said glumly, picking up another fry.

"Look Spencer," Jason sighed. "I'm not the biggest, Toby fan. I mean, I kind of hate that guy, because he left you, but, I love Noah. And we both know, that kid deserves a dad." Jason said looking off at nothing particular, "Neither of really had great childhoods, and I don't want Noah to have a bad childhood, and I know you don't either. So, if you can, work things out, with Toby, you should. For Noah's sake." Jason said hesitantly.

Spencer let her eyes fall on her plate of half eaten food again. Jason was right; Noah deserved better, he deserved _a lot _better, but Jason was so clueless. He had no idea what was stopping her from giving Noah what he fully deserved. She didn't even know if she could trust Toby. How was she ever supposed to trust him with the most important person in her life; Noah. She had no idea what she was doing, but she knew one thing, she wasn't going to let any one hurt Noah. "I know," She closed her eyes briskly, "I know, I know," She repeated. "You are right, but I don't know...I just don't know how to even fix things with Toby, where to begin, everything is so messed up.." She mumbled, mostly to herself, forgetting for a quick moment that Jason was sitting right there.

"Well, you could start by being friends, maybe even telling him about Noah..." Jason suggested.

Spencer glanced up at him, "Yeah...maybe." She murmured, sticking another fry into her mouth.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Toby sat in front of Spencer Hastings, timidly, he felt like he was walking on thin ice, every time he was around her. He felt like everything he said would plummet him into the cold depths of loneliness he had once been in (has been in since he lost her,) he was wary of everything he said, and he felt like he had to think before saying a single word, fearing that if he said one tiny thing that didn't appeal to her, that she would storm out, but not before calling him the devil. He was quite surprised; she called him this morning, and asked him if he wanted to get a cup of coffee with her (well, he wasn't shocked about the coffee part.) Sure, he had a small amount of time with her in the toy shop two weeks ago, but he didn't think she would be inviting him to a coffee outing. Although, he was very delighted to receive the invitation, that he got to spend more time with her, and possibly continue the ongoing investigation of who Noah really was, and who his father was. After spending time with the little boy, and getting more of a look at him, he had a even bigger feeling that he is a much bigger part of the boy's life, than he is played out to be. He felt a strange connection with him, like he already loved him, even though he's only met him twice, the first time, being a nearly five second meet. He wanted to ask Spencer so badly, who Noah's father was, and if it was indeed himself, but he couldn't find the courage too. The thin ice beneath him, stopped him. But, he promised himself that he would ask, he would ask soon, because he couldn't hold back the question, forever.

"So, what have you been up to? We, never really caught up." Spencer asked, after a long awkward pause, setting her coffee cup on the table.

Toby gulped. _What has he been up to? _His life accomplishments weren't exactly the greatest. He's worked on construction projects, spent his nights at book stores playing scrabble with random strangers, and the longest he's lived anywhere since he was eighteen was five months. He didn't have much to say, and he was positive what he did have to say, wouldn't encourage her to have another cup of coffee with him, let alone tell him the truth about Noah. "Um," he said softly, picking at the cardboard wrapping on his coffee, "Not, much to be honest."

"It's been five years, are you telling me you just sat on your ass all that time? Or?" She tilted her head down, with a smile, that made his heart drop. He missed her smile, she was so beautiful, in every single way. But, her smile, was his favorite asset. Seeing her happy, made him a little bit happier.

"I mean," he shrugged. "I haven't been doing much…I've kind of just been…hopping from place to place, working on houses, and construction projects, and,"

"so, you still do construction?" she asked, biting the insides of her cheeks. The past was a touchy subject, and it occurred to her that this wouldn't be so easy. She couldn't just have one coffee with him, to determine something bigger than the both of them. It was going to take time, she was going to have to develop their new friendship gradually, or else it would all go to waste.

He nodded his head slowly, "Yeah…" he breathed, "I mean I took some finance classes, and business classes, here and there too. But, I just haven't found anywhere to settle yet…I guess. Nothing really feels like home,"

Mindlessly, Spencer let out a quiet "yeah." Her home was wherever Noah was, but it still felt empty. Back in high school, she would relate to Toby as her_ home, _so when he left, she sort of became homeless like all the years before.

"So, how's Noah?" Toby finally asked the question that was on the tip of his tongue since he stepped into this coffee shop.

"Good," Spencer replied simply, bobbing her head. "Great."

"Oh, that's good." Toby said awkwardly, mimicking her nods.

Spencer didn't know how to form this friendship, everything was so _awkward._ Luckily, a ringing phone came to the rescue.

Toby pulled his phone out of his navy zip up sweatshirt, and sighed inwardly, his cheeks puffing out. "I have to take this, I'm sorry." He announced.

"Okay," Spencer mumbled, staring at him with dazzled eyes, as he left the table, and walked towards the exit of the coffee shop.

She bit her fingers, staring at him_. Why couldn't he take the call here? _She wondered to herself, but shook her head at the thought. No, just because he had to go somewhere else to take a call, doesn't mean something is up. It was normal. She needed to take a deep breath, and relax.

He came back a few minutes later, his facial expression completely different from when he left. He looked distraught even. "I'm sorry Spencer, I really wanted to have coffee with you, but I have to go, I'm sorry." He said fumbling on his words.

"Is everything okay?" She stood up, furrowing her eyes at him.

He sighed, "It's my grandma, she um, has been in the hospital, and they're doing some operation, and she might not make it, so it might be my only…time to say goodbye." He said glumly.

"Oh," her mouth parted, as her brown eyes softened. "I hope everything goes well,"

"Me too." He agreed softly, "So, how about a rain check?"

"Sure," she smiled sadly.

"Goodbye Spencer,"

"Bye," she said, before he once again, exited the small coffee shop.

Spencer left the coffee shop shortly after Toby, (another coffee surely in hand, ) and went to pick up her son from kindergarten. Each time she would go to pick up Noah, she would wait right until the bell rung, run in, and then run out. It wasn't very Spencer like of her—it actually seemed like something Hanna would do—but she wanted to avoid Larson; whom picked up Sean quite a lot. It wasn't that she didn't like him, or that he wasn't her type, he was wonderful, but she didn't want a relationship. She was better off without it. All the complications that came with a relationship, were too much, especially when they're paired with her already extremely complicated life.

Except this time, she wasn't quick enough, someone caught her before she could run out of the small school, but it wasn't Larson, it was Tiffany; his sister. "Spencer," She said, causing Spencer to sigh, and turn around with a fake smile on her face. She hadn't seen Tiffany in awhile. Her hair appeared to be a shade lighter, and the smile on her face, made her look like the happiest person alive. In her left hand was a box; presumably something Sean brought in for show and tell, and in her right, was her son. "Hey, how are you? I feel like I haven't seen you in ages! You look good,"

"Thanks, but I think you look better, did you do something with your hair, or something? You seem different." Spencer complimented.

"Actually," the blond laughed, "Hold on." She paused Spencer, and looked at Sean. "Hey buddy, you want to go play blocks with the other kids? I want to talk to miss Spencer for a second."

"Okay," The little boy mumbled, before running off.

"Noah, want to go with him?" She asked, following Tiffany's cue, that this wasn't talk for children.

"No, not really, I want to go home." He whined.

She sighed heavily, "Noah, go. I'll be done in a minute." She scolded. The little boy sighed, and followed Sean's footsteps, towards the blocks.

Tiffany stepped closer, smiling, "Anyways, actually no, I didn't do anything with my hair. You're probably going to think this is incredibly weird, and has nothing to do with my physical appearance! But, I met a guy." Her grin extended, as she shook her head back and forth in excitement.

"Oh, that's great!" Spencer smiled, "So," her voice trailed, "what's his name?" she asked like a little school girl.

"Rufus," She squealed giddily, "He's a doctor, actually! And just perfect! And he's a little older, but I mean I have a kid, so I can't expect to have the most perfect guy on the face of the planet right? And he's just—wonderful." She sighed, getting gooey eyed.

"He sounds….wonderful." Spencer laughed lightly, "Does he know about said kid, yet?"

"I told about him, on our second date." She said, biting her glossed bottom lip, "He was fine with it, but I haven't introduced them yet, you know, I want everything to be like, perfect before any of that."

"yeah, I know what you mean." Spencer agreed, except she didn't. She's never been in that situation before. She had a situation close to it, but at the same time it was completely different.

"Speaking of relationships," Tiffany said, nudging her friend in the shoulder. "I don't mean to get in the middle of things, but you left my brother pretty heartbroken."

"I'm sorry," Spencer sighed, closing her eyes briefly, "I just—it's complicated."

"He's a good guy," She said smacking her lips together.

"I know that, I just." She shrugged.

"Spencer look," She said putting a hand on her shoulder, "We are all scared of feelings, they sort of suck, but sometimes, they're great, they're amazing," She broke out into a smile, "and they transform into something bigger than us all."

"What? Love?" Spencer spat dryly.

"Yeah! Spencer, look I'm not saying I think my brother is your soul mate," she rolled her hazel eyes, "But, I think you should give him another chance. He's crazy about you, and while I think he is the biggest asshole in the world ninety five percent of the time, that other five percent of the time, he's really sweet."

Spencer dropped her eyes on the floor, "Yeah, I mean, he seems, great."

"So, give him one more chance!" she encouraged, "If you hate it, then I'll make him lay off, I mean how many times has he called you in the last month,"

"Too many to remember," Spencer chuckled softly, returning her eyes to her friend.

"Exactly, and that annoying persistency thing, it won't stop, in fact, it will probably get worse."

"I thought you were trying to convince me to go out with him, not the other way around?" Spencer laughed lightly.

"Please, just do it. For me? I'll even baby sit Noah for you while your out. Pleaseeeeee."

"You know Tiff, I don't think he's the only one with that annoying persistency trait," Spencer teased.

"Yes!" Tiffany exclaimed with a high pitch laugh, "Yes, okay I'm annoying too, it runs in the family. But, is that a yes?" She smiled, looking so engrossed with Spencer, that if some glorious movie star walked in the door right now, she still wouldn't peel her eyes away.

"Fine," Spencer agreed with a sigh. "Okay, you win."

"Yes!" She squealed jumping up and down, tugging on Spencer's arm. "Yes, yes, yes! So, you better call him, or else." She squinted her hazel eyes at her in a pathetic glare.

"Is that a threat?" Spencer scoffed with a laugh.

"Yeah, I'm not really good at the whole bitch face thing, but you seriously better, okay!" She yelled, as she walked towards her son, whom was playing with blocks, leaving a laughing Spencer alone.

"Noah, come on! We're going home now!" She yelled to her son, who of course now _didn't _want to come home.

…

"Can I be your best man, Caleb?" Noah asked Caleb, as he peered at the piles of ties, he had lined up on his bed. Today was Hanna and Caleb's engagement party. It was only two, but Hanna had insisted on getting ready early. She wanted everything to be flawless. Anyways, their apartment was compacted with people that afternoon. Well it wasn't _that _much, but more than usual. Emily, Caleb, Paige, and _Aria _were all present, and helping prepare for the engagement. Although Spencer hid in her room to avoid Aria, but she wasn't alone for long, Caleb had shown up, in desperate need to know what tie to wear, (also in desperate need to get out of the heard of woman raging outside).

"Sorry buddy, the positions filled," Caleb said, patting the little boy on the upper back, "But, I think I have something better you can do…"

"Really?" The little boy said in excitement, his blue eyes bulging out of his sockets.

"Yes," Caleb nodded, a smile creeping on his face, "You can be the ring bearer."

"What's that?"

"You protect the ring," Caleb told him.

Noah looked up at him, squinting his eyes, and scrunching up his face. "Why would the ring need protecting?"

"Because, it's very important to the whole ceremony, without it, there would be no wedding!"

"So it's the most important job there?" Noah pressed.

"Well…yeah, I guess." Caleb nodded.

"Cool!" Noah exclaimed with a smile, "Mommy, Caleb said I could be a ring burrier!"

"It's bearer." Spencer corrected him quickly, stepping up from her desk chair, "But, yes I heard!" She exclaimed with a smile.

"I'm going to go tell everyone else!" Noah exclaimed, before dashing out of the room.

"Are you sure Han is okay with that?" Spencer asked Caleb.

"What? I don't get a say anything?" He asked.

"Nope," She shook her head with a laugh.

"Okay, well she loves Noah, everyone loves Noah," He chuckled softly, "I'm sure, she'll think it's a great plan."

"For your sake, I hope she does." Spencer said, the corner of lips spreading into a smile.

"So, why aren't you out there with everyone? This seems like your thing." Caleb asked, pulling a red plaid tie to his chest.

"My thing?" Spencer retorted, looking at him strangely, and awaiting an explanation.

"You know, planning things," He shrugged, turning his attention towards her, hanging a tie over his chest, "What about this one?"

She tilted her head to examine the tie, "Don't you have anything better?"

"You really are subtle, are you?" He laughed, sarcasm drowning his voice, referring to her rejecting every tie, he showed her.

She rolled her eyes, as he returned to looked at the pile of ties on the bed—some of them contributed by Ezra.

"So, you still didn't answer my question." He said after a second, "Why are you in here, instead of out there."

Spencer stretched her locked arms forward, "I don't know." She replied dryly. The reason she didn't want to go engross herself with the girls, was because of Aria. Any interaction with her was either awkward or made her want to pull her hair out.

"Fine, you won't answer that question, but here's another: why have you been staring at your phone this whole time?" He pried.

"What?" Spencer broke out into a nervous smile, "I-I haven't." She stuttered.

"Really? Because, you only set it down a few minutes ago, and you've looked at it like ten times." Caleb fought.

"It wasn't ten!" Spencer objected, but he just arched his eyes at her, awaiting an explanation. She figured it was either this, or explaining why she didn't want to go help Hanna and the others, so she decided to go with this. "I—might want to invite someone…"

"Really?" his face lit up. Like Hanna, and the others, he too wanted to see Spencer find 'love'. Over the years, they have grown a bond, he cared about her, and wanted to see her happy.

"Yeah," She said indifferently.

"Well, don't you sound excited."

"It's just, it's stupid. I mean, he's probably like busy, or something." Spencer said sheepishly, crossing her arms, and ducking her head down.

"Call him, or else I'll get Hanna in here, and you know how persuasive she will be." Caleb threatened.

"Threatening me with your fiancé? Really?" She rolled her eyes playfully, with a grin.

"Just call him." He chuckled softly.

Spencer bit her lip, and turned her attention to the lonesome cell phone sitting on her desk. "Fine," She told Caleb, before heading towards her phone. She picked it up timidly, her nervous fingers, finding his name listed in her contacts. "Maybe I shouldn't-"

"Spencer," He warned.

She exhaled shakily, and finally pressed send. Her heart sped, as the slow rings passed by, and the more ringing there was, the more hopeful she got that he would just let it go to voicemail, and she could say she tried. Except her luck was never the greatest; he picked up.

"Spencer," He said immediately, "What's up? I'm kind of surprised you're calling,"

"Yeah," Spencer said uneasily, "Um," She bit her lip, "I know this isn't much notice, well it's actually really no notice at all, but I was wondering if you want to go with me to this thing tonight, it's my friend's engagement party. And it would be cool if you came…with me…" She went on, as the other line, became silent. "Like as my date…" She concluded the line still dead silent. "Larson?"

"Oh, sorry, did you say date?"

"Yes," Her voice trailed nervously.

"Well, if you put it that way, then yeah, I guess I could clear my schedule."

"I don't want it to be a burden."

"A burden?" He chuckled softly. "I wouldn't call it that at all, I would call it more like a blessing."

"Wow, I'm certainly flattered" She giggled, "Then fine okay; I'll pick you up at six."

"I'll be waiting, oh and Spencer, what color dress are you wearing? You know, so my tie can match."

"Navy," She replied.

"Then navy it is! I'll see you at six."

"Bye." She said, before hanging up the phone, a smile enlighten on her face.

"So, he said yes?" Caleb asked, cocking his head to the side. And to that, Spencer just nodded, with a toothless smile.

The evening went well, Spencer was successful at avoiding Aria, she had a splendid time at the engagement party, and Noah said he had fun at Jasons. All in all, it seemed like a good day. It was the start of something…new…something good. At least that's what Spencer thought until she got a text from an _old friend_ stating : "Look's like your still a bitch, well you're going to pay –A"

_soooooo...dun dun dun. _

_Okay, so let me explain why it's been so long since i updated. At this point, I had two directions I could take this story. And for a long time, I didn't know which way to go! But, yesterday I started writing the beginning of this chapter, and I realized how bored I was with it. And now I wont be. So, yeah! It will still make sense, I promise, I've been thinking about where I would go with this story from the beginning! Anyways, yeah. I'm sort of evil. Any theories? ;) + i was in such a writing block, and I still kind of am (this chapter sucks so much in my opinion)well, I know a lot will not be happy about the things that took place in this chapter (aka larson & A) but stick with me please! I've noticed a slight decrease of reviews and i don't know if its because people dropped my story or what but anyways thank you for the ones I got :) they are always appreciated! _


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen

"What the hell is this?" Spencer demanded, not giving Toby a second to greet or even talk to her. It was two in the morning, Noah was asleep, Hanna wasn't home, and Spencer sure as hell wasn't going to get any shut eye with the text she got nearly an hour ago. She debated what to do. She spent a full forty minutes thinking about it, before calling Toby, and demanding he come over. "If you don't start talking now, I'm going to the police."

Toby took the phone from her, his eyes fumbled, "What, what is this? Who sent you," then his realization kicked in, she thought it was him. "Spencer, I didn't send this, I wouldn't!"

"Well, than who is it? You just so happen to pop into town, and suddenly I get a text message like that? Give me one good reason I should believe it's not you, Toby." She said bluntly.

"Why would I send you this? I—don't, Spencer," he sighed. "I'm done with all of that, it's not me." He told her, the intensity in his eyes magnifying, "And whoever the hell it is, we are going to find out."

"I don't need your help" She hissed, taking the phone back from him. "You can leave now, by the way" She said, starting to close the door.

He caught it, "You're not going to the police?" He questioned.

"If I was, I don't think that's any of your business." She scoffed, looking at him, in shock.

"Spencer, you have to."

"I don't have to do anything you tell me." She said narrowing her eyes on the man in front of her, "Now go, before I call the police, on you." She challenged.

"Spencer, seriously, you need to go. If you don't, I will." He said calmly, ignoring all her demands.

"Good, maybe they'll lock you up!" She smiled smugly, "Please leave."

"Spencer—please, okay, this is serious. Whether it's just some fucking prank, or not. Go to the police, there's too much at stake, to let this wait, till morning, or whenever the hell you'll go down there. Who knows if this is serious or not! Have your friends gotten any texts?"

"Why do you care so much!" She practically yelled, "Dammit Toby, you can't just come here—and think—just go!" She said pushing him slightly.

"Mommy, what's going on?" Came a small voice from the corner of the room, which made Spencer's angered face fall into a frown.

Spencer looked at her little boy sadly, "Baby, go back to sleep, I'll be there in a second to tuck you in."

"Why is Toby here?" He asked.

"He's just leaving, hunny, go back to sleep." Spencer told her sound softly, with a faint supporting smile. As the little boy was told, he went back to his bedroom. Spencer sighed, looking back at Toby.

"That is the reason why I care so much, Spencer. What about Noah?"

"What about Noah? He's my son, not yours!" She whispered sharply.

"It takes two, Spencer." He breathed sharply, "I'm not dumb."

She took in a deep breath, looking up at him timidly. Her eyes wavering at the intensity of his eye contact.

_"So, do you have any names picked out?" Hanna asked with a soft smile, staring at the round bump on her very pregnant friend's stomach. It was only a couple more weeks, till Spencer would have her little bundle of joy. _

_"No, not yet. But, defiantly not anything, that begins with the letter A." she said tightly, the subject still harsh for everyone. _

_"Do you think you'll name him after anyone in your family?" Hanna wondered aloud._

_"Defiantly not my dad." She said with no hesitation. "But, I don't know, really. Nothing's really felt right, you know? I mean, I was looking at name meanings the other day, but then I remembered that those are just words. Plus, it's sort of cheesy. I want something with a real meaning, not just a supposed meaning."_

_"Well, once you find out, can I please be first to know? Aria was first to know that you're having a boy, Emily was the first to know that you're pregnant, I want to be the one to know the name first!" She complained._

_"Fine, Hanna. I promise, you'll be the first to know." She smiled tenderly._

"Think whatever you want. He is my son. I raised him. Changed his diapers. Fed him. Bought him clothes. Taught him how to walk and talk. Everything! Genetics means nothing, when you weren't there for them, when you needed them most. Family isn't about having the same gene pool, it's more than that." Spencer said calmly after a pause. "Goodnight, Toby."

"Well, I'm here now!" Toby fought with her, not letting her close the door once again. "So, let me help you. All I'm asking is for you to go to the police, that's all. Spencer, it's not that big of a favor. I just don't want to see you, or him, getting hurt. I'm sorry for everything in the past, but I'm not letting history repeat itself." He proclaimed.

"…fine." She heaved a breath, "In the morning," her eyes routed downward, "Noah is asleep, and I'm not going to wake him up, and take him to the police station."

"Okay…" Toby breathed. "Do you want me to come with—"

"No thanks," She spoke briskly. An awkward moment passed between the two. "Can you not mention this to anyone? I don't know about Hanna, or Emily…or Aria, but if they haven't…gotten anything, I don't want to bring them into this." She requested.

"Okay." Toby said simply.

"Well, it's getting late, so."

"Just one more thing," He promised. He inhaled greatly, "So it's true then?"

Spencer looked at him, tilting her head to the side slightly, a frown forming on her face. "Goodnight Toby." She dismissed him, closing the door, and this time, Toby let her shut it. He got what he needed, she was going to tell the police, and she, and Noah would be safe. That's all he needed to know, even if he wanted to know so much more.

…

The next morning, Spencer woke up to two texts, luckily not from 'A' or, at least they appeared to be not from 'A'. But, her ability to trust others, especially Toby, was low. It was almost incapable. She didn't know how to trust anyone really, she always thought the worst in people, she even sometimes had trouble trusting her friends.

The first text was from Larson. It was a good morning text, saying "Miss you already, sunshine, coffee later? I know you want some." While most girls would fan over good morning texts, and quickly respond in some frivolous matter, which would most likely contain a winky face, Spencer just scrolled right past it, and went to her other new message, which was from Toby. He sent it to her at seven in the morning. It was about a paragraph long, but mostly it consisted of 'Did you go to the police station yet? Tell me when you do. If you need me, I'll be at work, but I can always take a break. Go soon'. He texted her that nearly two hours ago, and hasn't sent anything since.

She reluctantly texted him back, saying "No, I haven't gone yet. Just woke up." In which he replied, "Okay, tell me when you do. You sure, you don't want me coming?" and she replied "positive." In the midst of it all, she had forgotten to text Larson back. So, it seems, Toby will always be in possession of her heart.

She didn't know why she trusted that Toby wasn't the one behind this, again. She had no reason to trust him, really. She wasn't someone to give, someone the benefit of the doubt, so why did she believe it wasn't him. Was it instinct? Or was it just the hope that it wasn't him? Toby made her judgment cloudy, which is another reason why he shouldn't be involved in her life. Toby was an exception, but exceptions weren't always a good thing.

_"Miss! wait, you forgot this!" the stranger yelled behind her. Spencer hesitated to halt; was he talking to her? And if he was, why? She didn't think she even dropped anything. Instead of turning around, she sped up, fearing that the man was not looking out for her, but up to something much more devious. _

_"Wait!" she heard the man say, but she kept her pace, quickened it even. She heard the man jogging behind her, which made her heart rate, quicken. "Wait, it's your watch!" The man yelled. Spencer glanced at her wrist, and sure enough, the watch that was always there, wasn't. _

_Taking a deep breath in, Spencer realized how silly she was being, not everyone was out to kill her. She needs to calm down. "Oh, thank you, I didn't even notice it was gone." Spencer told him, before grabbing the watch from him, and trapping it around her wrist. "Thanks," She murmured to him._

_He appeared to be in his early sixties. His nose was crooked, and he appeared to miss a few patches of facial hair this morning. His deep blue eyes were maximized, by the think rim glasses he was wearing. He smiled. "Not many wear watches these days, it's nice to see a change, in our youth." _

_"Yeah," She sported a smile. He seemed to want no harm, but she still hasn't gotten around the feeling that everyone was out to get her. When a stranger would smile at her, she would simply just look past them. "So, thanks for, giving me back my watch—ow" she groaned suddenly, holding her stomach._

_"Miss are you okay?" The man said putting a friendly hand on her shoulder, which she quickly jerked away._

_"Yeah," She grimaced. "I'll be fine. It's just..um contractions."_

_"You're sure your okay?" The man pressed._

_"I'm—ahh!" she said feeling the pain again, "I'm-" She stuttered. "I think I'm going into labor-" She breathed out shakily._

_"Okay, I'll call 911, just you wait. It'll be okay." He reassured her, putting a hand on her shoulder, and this time Spencer let his hand stay there. _

"What do you mean you can't do anything about this?" She demanded, her brown eyes hard, and lip quivering. "What do you expect me to do about this, then!" She nearly screamed at the police officer. He sighed, and ran his fingers through his light brown curls.

"There isn't much I can do, I mean, it's just a text. It's not even a threat…really." He smacked his lips together, eyeing her, before handing her phone back. "I can try to track the source, if you can give me a couple hours with your phone Ms. Hastings but, other that that, there's not much to do. Once we found out who it is, you can get a restraining order, but from the looks of it all, this might just be a cruel joke."

Spencer resisted the urge to roll her eyes, she should have known, the police would be no help. "I have a four year old. Cruel joke or not, someone is out there messing with me." She said in a lower voice, keeping her eyes locked on his in a glare. "I'm not willing to just let this wait out, and see how it ends. I hate surprises."

The man's emotionless expression dropped into a frown, and his dark blue eyes became soft. "I'll run some tests, I'll just need your phone, for an hour or two. I want to help you, I do, but you have to understand that there isn't much to work with."

With a deep sigh, she murmured a _'fine' _and told him she needed to make a call first.

Once she was outside the police station, she scrolled through her contacts, and found Toby. She was tempted to just not call him. This wasn't his business, it was hers. But, he still had a hold on her, like he always had. She thought she had detached herself from him, but she was wrong. "Hi. I'm at the police department."

"What happened?" He asked immediately.

"Nothing, yet. They are taking my phone in. This is your last chance to opt up to it." She said coldly.

"It's not me." He said solidly.

"Whatever," She said sucking in her cheeks, "I'll call you later, bye." She ended the conversation quickly, before returning her phone to officer Appleton, and she would wait at the police station until her phone was back in her hands, and she had the name, or at least IP address, of the culprit.

_"Sweetie, they are on there way. Just breath, can you do that, for me ?" The old man told her soothingly as he held her hand, and guided her to the bench nearby. "It'll be okay. It might be a lot of work now, sure I wouldn't know, but I witnessed it a few times. Speaking of, should I call the father? Anyone else?"_

_She glanced at him, her breathing unsteady, and her brown eyes turning glassy, the second, the word 'father' came out of his mouth. "Um no." She said meekly. "But, there are—agh!—others." She said clenching her stomach. "My phone is in my purse." _

_"Alright," the older man said before pulling out her phone. As he did that, Spencer could see the ambulance, out of the corner of her eye. She was ready to meet her little boy._

"Wait, wait, where are you going? I thought you were working on my phone!" Spencer jolted up from her seat in the police station, and sped up to officerDarren.

"Even police officers get hungry. The team is working on it, I promise you, Spencer, it'll be okay. Don't worry."

"Obviously, you don't know me well, because worrying is what I do best." Spencer offered a half smile, "Just, look, do you have kids?" Spencer asked. "Because if you did, you would understand, understand how I feel right now."

"Yes, I have a two year old little girl. Her name is Hazel. " He admitted. "And I would probably be acting just like you, maybe even worse than you are right now."

Spencer smiled, "Then you understand!" Spencer exclaimed. "knowing that someone is out there, possibly, plotting something against me and my family. It's the worst feeling in the world."

"Have you had lunch yet?" He asked her after a pause.

Spencer shook her head.

"Well, how about you come get some with me." He offered.

"I'm not—this isn't a date, right?" Spencer clarified. She was already juggling enough guys at the moment.

"No," The man laughed. "Defiantly not." He shook his head at the idea as if it was insane of her to suggest such a thing. "Spencer, lets just say you're not my type. Besides the fact, my father is going to be there. Believe me, I don't bring my fathers on dates." He winked. Before turning towards the exit, "You coming," He looked back at her.

She furrowed her eye brows and nodded, "Yeah," her voice trailed as she followed him out the door. "Wait, your father is going to be there?!" She ran after him in a panic.

_Around sixteen hours later, Spencer had a little boy in her hands. The name for him still missing. He was so beautiful. He had a full head of hair, and bright blue eyes. Spencer, felt like she could never let him go. Never let the little boy out of her sight. She never felt this kind of love before. It was unconditional. As she stared at him, she was in awe, at how much she already adored him. In amazement, that she created this little human being with little fingers, and tiny feet. Today, she cried, but it wasn't out of sadness, per usual, but joy. She hasn't felt this happy in a long time, and maybe things were going to get better._

_"So, what's his name?" The nurse asked a few hours after she gave birth to her son. He was sleeping in the cradle next to her, but she actually missed him. She wanted to just pick him up, and keep him in her arms forever. _

_"I'm not sure," She glanced at the sleeping little boy next to her. _

_"Well, he is surely, a cutie." The nurse smiled at the baby, "Is everything okay? Do you want anything else? Want to watch TV or something?" The nurse asked as she strutted back to exit of the small room._

_"No, I'm good, thank you."_

_As the nurse was leaving, a visitor was coming in. "Hey there!" The old man greeted with a jolly smile._

_"Hi!" She exclaimed with a smile. _

_"Here I got you something," He told her, pulling out a card. _

_"Oh, you didn't have too." Spencer smiled, but took the card anyways, and set it down on the table next to her. _

_"I wanted to" He clarified, before his eyes left Spencer, and fell on the tiny baby, and a smile graced his face._

_"What's his name?" The old man asked._

_"I'm not sure yet, but speaking of names, I actually never caught yours." She said furrowing her eyebrows, at how she could miss such an important element._

_"Noah," The man told her, looking up. "Noah Appleton."_

"So, officer Appleton, what do I call you?"

"Darren." He told her, with a smile. "And by the way, do not call my dad, Mr. Appleton, he hates that."

"_Mr. Appleton?" Spencer said a few minutes later._

_"Noah," He corrected her._

_"Right," Spencer smiled nervously._

_"Why did you help me? I mean, why did you even give me that watch back? It has to be worth something." She told him, as she stared at him, still unable to figure him out._

_"It indeed has to be worth something," He smiled up at her, "to you at least. I mean I'm sure, I could probably get fifty dollars for it or so, but who knows, maybe it was worth so much more to you. Sentimental value, is the largest value there is." He told her._

_"But, why would you care if it's worth anything to me? You didn't even know who I was. I mean, why not just take it, and sell it?"_

_"You don't believe the world is all evil, right?" He chuckled. "There are some good people left in it, and I like to do my share of random acts of kindness, so I'm still part of that group."_

_Spencer stared at him dazzled. Maybe, she did think the world was all evil. She was blinded by all the bad things, to even notice the good things. "Well, thank you, for everything." She told him._

_"It wasn't a problem." He said. "Well, I have to get back to my wife. She is making peach cobbler." He smiled._

_"Wait, Noah!" She called out, before he stepped out of the room. "Do you mind if I name my son after you?"_

_A smile enlightened on his face, "I would be honored."_

Once they got in the small café, they ended up having to wait twenty minutes for Mr. Appleton, or erm, whomever to show up. By this time Spencer's stomach was growling like thunder, and she was overjoyed that she accepted his invitation.

Once the old man sat down at the table, everything clicked. Appleton, not calling him Mr. Appleton; everything. This was the same man she met four years ago, in the park, the one who found her watch, and called the ambulance. "Dad, this is—"

"Spencer, yes, we know each other." The old man smiled at the twenty two year old woman.

"Yeah, we met, four years ago," Spencer's face emerged into a gigantic smile.

"What?" Darren glanced between the two, confused. "How do you two know each other?"

"Well…" The old man began to tell the story. "It was a hot July day…" The man went on into detail, of the story. While Spencer remembered the events of the busy day, which was also known as the best day of her life. The day her son was born. After his story ended, Darren sat there in astonishment. "Small world!" Darren exclaimed.

"Yeah," Spencer agreed.

"So how is Noah? Not getting into any trouble hopefully?"

"No, no he's an angel, really." She told him, and it was true. He was her angel, and she couldn't ask for anyone better.

* * *

_sorry this took so long to update ! I have midterms! Well, yes new characters alert! This chapter was more on the fluffy side, but calm before the storm right? ;) Btw Toby and Spencer's little conversation about Noah? ;) how do you feel about that? Hm. And yeah, so that's how Noah got his name! but, anyways, i chose a watch, because has anyone else noticed how she is ALWAYS wearing it? and Hanna's always wearing that necklace? Anyway, thanks for the reviews! and I hope i get some more xoxo_


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter Twenty

"I must say that you knowing my father was quite the surprise," Darren aka Officer Appleton told Spencer as they returned to the police stations, no with a full stomach, and coffee charged bodies.

"I guess it really is a small world after all." Spencer smiled slightly. Spencer felt like she had been in the same predicaments that she was the last time she saw the old man. She was haunted by A, and here she is again; obsessing over it. But, this time things would be different. They were already different, she went to the police, and although sometimes, she felt as if she couldn't totally trust police officers due to past experiences, she felt she could trust Darren. Especially, since he was the byproduct of Noah Appleton.

"I'm sure those results are in by now." Darren told her, inhaling a deep breath of air, "Now, Spencer, I don't want you getting your hopes up. Sometimes, people have ways of blocking IP addresses. It's not always right, things can go wrong—" Darren tried to warn her.

"No, just, it's fine. Please, just go. I can handle it."

Darren took in a breath, "Okay." With that he was around the corner, and out of sight; in the back office of the police station. Spencer had to admit, her nerves were settling down, a bit. Maybe it was _just a prank_, but with her history, even a prank like this seemed jail time worthy.

She waited and waited, checking her watch every five seconds, until he came back with a few papers in hand and her cell phone in the other. Her heart dropped in that instant, this was it. "Did you get any information? Can you give me an address? What did the I.P. address read?" Spencer asked.

"Well, we didn't get _much."_He shot her a sympathetic look, "But, we got an I.P. address." He told her, handing over two papers that had a list of all her texts in the last forty eight hours and the I.P. addresses that followed. "here's where you'll want to be looking," he pointed to the anonymous text, "and that's the number right there. We could try calling it right now?" He suggested.

Taking the papers back, and giving officer Appleton a hesitant look, she nodded. "Yeah, I think that, that will maybe, do us some good." Spencer said before she began typing away the strange number on her phone. "It's not leading me to anyone I know," Spencer pointed out, mindlessly.

"Here, want me to make the call?" Officer Appleton asked, noticing the hesitant look in her eyes, and her apprehensive thumbs hover over the 'send' button.

"What?" Spencer shot her head up at him, "No, no it's fine." She said, trying to convince herself she could do this on her own. She wasn't some helpless twenty two year old, she's probably been through more than this guy and his entire team, combined. With a press of her thumb, she was on her way to stop this horrible reoccurring night mare.

"It's night ringing," She said after a second, of listening to a dead silent line. She glanced at her phone to reassure herself that she had not accidently hung up. "Why isn't it ringing?" She asked Darren, with a hard stare, and furrowed eyebrows.

"Let me see," Darren told her, taking the phone away, and holding it up to his own ear—as if she was lying about how the line was silent. _Annoying. _"Yeah, no one is on the other line." He sighed, stating what she already knew. He handed the phone back over to her, "They probably disabled incoming calls. Looks like we aren't working with an amateur, after all."

"So, what do you suggest I do?" She asked, taking the her phone back, and hanging up the call.

He stood there for a minute, pondering on his advice, he was about to throw at her. "Spencer, look I understand that you want to find out who this person is—I want you to, too. I like you, I don't want to see you getting into any sticky situations, but as much as I want you to know who this, and as much as you do—that's not going to help us figure out who this is." He went on. Spencer looked at him with a hard stare, where was he going with this? "I think you should just wait it out for awhile. If you get any more texts, you can come back here. But, for right now…there isn't much we can do. Not without more information, I mean I'll keep a look out, but…" his voice trailed.

"Darren!" She exclaimed in aggravation, "You just said a minute ago, this isn't an amateur! Am I just supposed to hide in my closet, until I get another text so you can do your job!" Spencer yelled. She sensed the bystanders looking at her with odd expressions glued to their faces, but she didn't really care, although Darren did.

Pulling her over to the side, he told her "Spencer, look, like I told you _I do _want to help, but we just have to wait this out. Promise me you won't do anything…alone, you and I both know, that's not safe."

She looked at him with a huff, "I won't do anything." She promised after a second of much intense icon.

With a smile , he patted her shoulder in encouragement, "We'll find this guy, don't worry. If anything happens, you can call me, here give me your phone." He told her.

Spencer did as she was told. After a minute, he gave it back to her. "I have to get back to work, but you should go home, spend some time with your son. Enjoy the rest of your Saturday while it lasts." He parted with her, before once again, returning to the back of the police department.

Spencer stepped on the back of her heel, and exited the police department, with no intention of keeping her promise. Screw waiting, she was going to find this person, on her own.

Like she has ever listened to people's advice anyways…

_"He's so adorable." Aria cooed at the swaddled up four week old in her hands. "I wish I could have been here." She muttered under her breath, still looking at the peaceful baby in her arms._

_"Well, that's what you get for breaking up team Sparia—and running off right after gradation to marry Fitzy boy." Spencer remarked with a smirk, as her eyes fell upon her son, once again. Aria looked up at her with an innocent expression. She was about to say something, but Spencer stopped her. "I'm just kidding. How was that? You have been so engrossed with Noah, that you haven't said one word about it. I want to know everything—well not everything, defiantly not as much as Hanna shares" She shuddered remembering all the details Hanna scarred her with. "but, how was it?! Was it beautiful? Did he do some epic romantic poem, did you guys recount the memories of your insane relationship? I imagine something like 'After all we've been through, our love has prevailed, because true love, can be tarnished, but never destroyed' or something like that, whatever, you're the poet of the group." Spencer rambled on._

_Aria took in a sharp breath looking at the baby in her hands once again, she bobbed him up and down, which conjured a smile on the newborn's face. His smile was contagious, not long after, Aria was smiling too. She should be happy right? She married the love of her love, in the city of love, for god sakes, but she couldn't stop thinking of what did 'tarnish' their relationship. Spencer knew a lot, but she didn't know the whole story. The part of the story that seemed like the end, but wasn't. It still stung—knowing he had lied to her for a year, went behind her back, and almost killed her best friend. It hurt a lot. It took all her power to forgive him, but she was starting to realize, that she was still upset with him. When he asked her to elope, she thought maybe, it would be a fresh slate. They could forget about all the lies, and start clean. Except when she was standing there—listening to his vows, she felt more depressed, than happy. It was her wedding day, the supposed happiest day of her life, but she couldn't help but wonder, if it was all just a mistake. She was a romantic; she believed that true love could conquer all, but what if Ezra wasn't her true love? What if she made a mistake, after all, would someone who truly loves you, do such horrible things to your loved ones? Sure, he was trying to save her, but wasn't there another way than almost killing one of the most important people in her life? _

_"Aria?" Spencer said, with a familiar worry in her voice, "what's wrong?"_

_"What?" Aria blinked up at her, "Oh, sorry, I just, I'm a little out of it. Jet lag." She shrugged._

_Spencer nodded with understanding. "If you wanted to go home, and get some rest, you can just come back later; but remember, if you don't, I'll find you, pin you down, and make you tell me everything!" Spencer warned playfully._

_Aria feigned a laugh, "I promise. I'll tell you everything you want to know."_

_"Good, now, give me back my baby; he needs a nap of his own." _

Spencer ended up in a coffee shop, in the corner of town; it was the old coffee shop that everyone used to come to, before the one down the street opened. She spent most of her time here, when she first moved here. There was something about this place, possibly the aroma, but it felt familiar. While most of her familiarities were bad ones, this felt like a good one. It almost reminded her of the brew back in Rosewood; she had many good memories there, but they were all canceled out by the horrible ones. Everything in Rosewood, was really just a bad memory. She lived there her whole life, and even though she only met Alison in third grade; she feels like Alison was always there. That there was always an A. Whether it was her parents, Melissa, Alison, there was always someone pushing her to the cliff, letting her hang there for dear life, until someone would come help her back up. Usually, it was Aria, or Hanna, or Emily, and then there was Toby; who seemed to only help her back up, so he could push her down again. Sometimes she wanted to let go of that branch that she held on so tightly too, what was the point of coming back up, only to fall down again once more? But, for some reason she didn't. She held on to that branch, every time she fell, she didn't give up. She prevailed through all the –A's in her life, and was stronger because of it. But, sometimes, she wishes that she wasn't as strong. That she didn't have to go through all those things, and she could simply be like everyone else; crying at spilled milk. It would be a lot easier. In a way, this coffee shop let her be that person. She could pretend that she was just another normal person, getting a coffee. It was a calm sanctuary where she could forget all the evil dwelling her past.

But, today, she tainted the sanctuary. She brought the papers, and was on a hunt to figure out whom this new 'A' was and what they wanted. She _wasn't _that annoying girl, who cried over spilled milk, and waited for her prince charming to come and rescue her. No, she was Spencer Hastings and she wasn't going to let anyone push her down that cliff, again.

She scanned her eyes down the list of I.P. addresses, and the numbers paired with them. Mostly everyone had the same I.P. address on the list. Except the unfamiliar number, that this 'A' had texted her on. It's not like she many texts, most were from Hanna, Larson, Emily, and there were a few from Toby; none of which were from the same I.P. address. Spencer sighed, although no evidence pointed to Toby, she was still wary of him. She didn't want it to be him, but out of all of the suspects, it seemed to be him—considering he was her only suspect, that is. Spencer groaned rubbing her temples in frustration.

Her phone rang for a few seconds, before she even looked at the caller I.D. It wasn't who she expected it to be, that's for sure. She thought it would be Toby. He has already called her twice in the last hour—both of which, she ignored. Apprehensively, she picked up her phone. "Hey." Spencer greeted, trying her best to sound gleeful.

"Hi, how are you doing? I haven't heard from you all day. Did you get my texts?"

"Yeah, um," She sighed, "I've just been busy—with Noah." She lied, falling back into her old habit. But, what was she supposed to say? That she was hunting down a potential tormentor? Explain her whole entire past—Alison, A, Toby—no, she wasn't going to do that.

"Oh," He said. Spencer sensed the disappointment in her voice, which made her feel even guiltier. Of course, the one guy she actually felt something with, just happened to show up when her life decided it was high time the chaos ran in. "Well, I could come over, and we could play hide and go seek or something, maybe watch some Disney movie, and eat popcorn. I don't know, I'll even help you teach him how grammar works, I just want to see you." He declared, out of breath.

Spencer sighed internally, he was just making her feel worse. "I'm sorry, I just, I can't today, I'll talk to you soon." She rushed out, before ending the call, with a heavy sigh. She hated lying. It was the one thing she hated most in the world, but there were times were she was forced to lie; and this was one of them.

_"I feel like leaving Noah with my parents was a horrible idea. What if something happens? What if like they get robbed, and they only have time to save one thing, and they decide to go to my dad's valt—I mean Hanna, there is a lot of money in there. You don't get it, and my parents—they're not"_

_"They're not heartless Spencer!" Hanna exclaimed in disbelief "I'm sure they'll think Noah's worth more than a couple thousand bucks. You need to give them some more credit."_

_"You're only saying that because they are paying for our apartment." Spencer said flatly, staring at her friend with her signature look of annoyance. "You know there's no reason to suck up while they're not around?"_

_"I'm not sucking up!" Hanna yelled, glancing her, and shaking her head. "Look, I'm trying to calm your nervs, I'm not your parent's new groupie or anything, I just think that you need to calm the fuck down. And yes I'm going to swear like hell tonight, because I've been keeping all this shit locked up, because you think a baby can pick up what I'm saying."_

_"They can!" Spencer groaned. "I rather not have his first word be 'Bitch' thank you very much." _

_"It would be a funny story to tell." Hanna murmured quietly, but loud enough for Spencer to hear._

_"Hanna!" _

_"What?" She glanced at her friend sheepishly, "It would be!"_

_Spencer shook her head, rolling her eyes, towards the window. With a sigh she began fretting again. "It's just, he's only six weeks old"_

_"and you've been there every day, every minute, every second, okay, you deserve a break! He'll be fine. Just relax. And I'm sure you'll be home by nine anyways, if you don't remember this is ezria's party; they read for fun, watch prehistoric movie, and are in bed by eight."_

_"Ezria?" Spencer remarked, glaring at her friend strangely. "Are you drunk? And I do those things too!"_

_"What? Of course not! It's a combination of their name. Damn, Spence, I thought you were supposed to be smart."_

_"I know what it is. Why are you saying it? Is it really that hard to say their names?" _

_"Too much work." Hanna groaned, turning into a parking lot for an apartment building. "God, why the hell did they move all the way out here."_

_"Hanna it's hardly far, it's less than twenty minutes." Spencer rolled her eyes._

_"Whatever! When you have to listen to some nagging asshole the whole time, it seems like a lot longer."_

_Spencer glared her._

_"Look, I'm sorry, it's just. Noah will be fine! We'll stop by for an hour, and then leave. Is that okay?"_

_"I guess." Spencer sighed._

Spencer stared at the papers. There had to be something she could do. The I.P. address that she had gotten the 'A' text from, it was different. She didn't recognize it. Deciding it was high time to team up with google, she pulled out her phone, and typed in the unfamiliar I.P. address. When Dutchen, Pennsylvania; the small town right outside of Philadelphia popped up her screen, her mind instantly clicked. She only knew two people who lived in Dutchen, and they went by the names of Ezra and Aria.

DUN DUN DUN….ok what do you think? ;)

When I was reading the reviews, I noticed that someone mentioned how I've deleted my stories, well, that is because I am ashamed of some of the crap I have put on here tbh, I mean, I'm actually flattered you noticed~is that weird? Well, besides my hatred for my work, there was also some stuff that was like half finished and I was never going to finish so I decided to delete it so people wouldn't get their hopes up that I'll finish them. I'm sorry if you were looking for something and I erased it L but if you are looking for more of my writing (idk why you are but ily and thanks so much) you can find some stuff from my tumblr, that I haven't uploaded on here and my URL is cavastings c: (shameless self promo)

And also, someone addressed Misplaced Kisses; I'm not going to drop that story, don't worry, I know I haven't updated in like a month, but I just haven't had motivation to write that especially after Tuesday! I can't write anything happy augh! Sorry um I'll try to write another chapter…soon

And last but not least thank you for the awesome lovely always appreciated reviews. J Sorry this chapter was kind of short (for me) and was really crappy; I've had writers block which is why it took me so long to upload, I know where I'm going with this, but I can't write sometimes .


	21. Chapter 21

**_Hey guys it's been awhile, hasn't it? opps! well..._**

**_Ok so a couple of things: I suck at spelling, hahaha. Okay seriously if you catch anymore mistakes, tell me! I'm only 15 so yeah i'm going to use that as an excuse on why I suck at writing. Okay! Well, thank you sooooooooooooo much for the awesome, amazing, reviews! c: Honestly I don't deserve these comments! Okay, well I hoped you liked it. And okay~so~ if i gave you a hint of who this -A is, it would probably spoil the whole entire thing! But, don't worry you'll find out soon ;) and if anyone wanted a flashback of when Toby joined the A team-this chapter is for you!_**

Chapter Twenty One

Her fists furiously banged against the door, all her rationality fading away, probably along with her sanity. She didn't know what she was going to say, or do. She didn't plan out her actions at all, really. She wasn't thinking this through—six hours of sleep, and seven cups of coffee, will do that to you, though. As her hands became lonely, knocking on the door, her vocal chords decided to join in. "I know you are in there!" screamed Spencer. Although, this wasn't necessarily true. It was a Saturday evening for goodness sakes, Aria could be anywhere. Although it's not like she had many people in the city to spend time with. Hanna was off getting her nails done with her friend of hers, Emily was with Paige babysitting Noah, and then there was Ezra; _the culprit._ The person she was _really _here for.

After what seemed like an eternity, the door flied open, and there stood a perplexed Aria wearing only a pink robe, and her wet hair gathered up into a towel. "Spencer?" asked Aria, not sure how to greet her friend. Usually, on any other occasion, before everything got so messed up that is, Aria would simply crack a joke, and tell her to come in. Although, this wasn't like those old occasions. Things were different now. "Wha—what. Why—come in!" stuttered the tiny girl, as she stepped aside, allowing a pathway for Spencer to enter.

Hesitantly, Spencer stepped into the apartment. Looking around, nothing's changed—not one thing. Technically, it's only been a couple months since she stopped by, but usually Aria would change it up a little every so often. She supposed it was because of Aria's new found information that she couldn't have children. Perhaps, she wasn't really up for redecorating. But, that wasn't why she was here. "Where's Ezra?" asked Spencer, looking around the place, as if to find him hiding in the corner. Her voice was stern, and urgent—definitely nothing close to warm and eager to see her old friend.

"Why?" asked Aria, quite shaken, as she closed the door behind her. "Spencer," said Aria, looking at her with squinted, conflicted, eyes. "I'm glad you are here—and all. But, why…are you here?"

Spencer gulped, not willing to meet her friend's eyes. It occurred to her for a second that if the texts were coming from here, they could possibly be coming from Aria, but, she didn't believe that to be true. Aria was never a threat, she didn't lie to her out of resentfulness and vengeance, she did it out of love, protection. She was trying to protect Ezra; everything she did was to protect him. Spencer knew how it worked. Ezra was the one to be punished—_the threat_. Still thinking quite irrationally, Spencer told her friend the truth of why she was really here. "I got a text…from A."

"What!" yelled Aria, a look of panic washing across her still damp features.

Spencer was hesitant at first, maybe it wasn't too good of an idea to tell Aria what she thought, but decided to continue nevertheless. "Yeah. And I went to the police. They tracked the I.P. address—well I tracked the I.P. address to here. Well around here. And you two are the only ones who live around here."

"Wait, what, what are you implying?" asked Aria, clearly offended by what Spencer was saying.

Spencer took in a deep breath "I'm pretty sure It's Ezra."

Aria stood there, gaping at her, in udder shock that she could suggest such an absurd thing. Her facial expression didn't change at all as they stood in silence, for however long. Aria's eyes blinked a few times and her mouth altered up and down before she said anything back. "You think…Ezra sent you something? Spencer… he—why. What proof do you have?" she seemed oddly calm about it all.

"I—it's just, I know he's someone not to be trusted, and it tracked back to here…" Spencer was starting to realize as the words fled out of her mouth, how little evidence she had. But who else could it be? It had to be him! By default!

"Are you like on drugs or something? Do you actually hear yourself right now?" scoffed Aria, pulling her robe closer into her. "Ezra's not even in town! He's in Boston for a business meeting. He's been there since Wednesday!"

Spencer's face fell, along with her eyes. She bowed her head down, as if she was feeling ashamed. Ezra wasn't even in Pennsylvania? Then who could it possibly be?

"Spencer…you…can't. You aren't a detective. I thought we covered that in high school" said Aria, collecting herself back to a state of tranquility she was in when Spencer arrived. "Spencer," said Aria, softly, touching her arm.

Spencer immediately reacted to Aria's touch by flying backward, almost tripping over herself. Her panicked eyes met Aria's for a brief second, before they fled downward. "I should go" muttered Spencer, under her breath.

"wait!" argued Aria, stepping in front of her. "You got an _A text_? …what did it say? Did Em or Han get one?"

Spencer looked at her friend, conflicted to tell her what it said. The concept of truth and honesty, it was always ambiguous to Spencer. She never knew who to trust after everything with Toby happened. She knew she could trust her friends. She never doubted them. Until a few weeks ago when Aria broke that circle of trust she had formed, once again. She knew why Aria kept the secrets—she did it for the same reasons Spencer wouldn't tell anyone about all the horrible things Toby's done. Although, Spencer wasn't Toby's wife, living him with him, she was far from that. But, perhaps she needed a friend. She needed someone to talk to about this, someone_ who understood._ "It said that I was being a bitch or something, and that he or she or it, or whatever, was back. And—I—I don't know what to do. I only got one text, but I just. There's so much at stake. It's not only my life anymore" broke out Spencer, for the first time since she got the text letting her tears cascade.

Aria stood on her tiptoes, wrapping her arms around her taller friend in a warm embrace, as Spencer broke into a gently sob.

"It's going to be okay" soothed Aria.

…

"Where's my mommy?" asked Noah, for the fifth time during the duration of being at Emily's abode. He was a mama's boy, that was for sure.

Emily smiled sadly at him, scooting away from her cuddled position in Paige's arms so that the little boy could sit with her on the couch. She patted the empty spot next to her, gesturing for him to take the spot. He did. "She'll be here soon. She was just doing some things that I'm sure you would find incredibly boring" exasperated Emily, in a very over dramatic matter.

"Like what?" asked Noah, curiously.

"Like…" Emily's tongue stalled in her mouth, truthfully she wasn't too sure of Spencer's whereabouts, she was very discreet that morning with her plans for the day. All Emily knew was that Spencer was just in a desperate need for a baby sitter.

Lucky for her, Noah became bored with waiting for an answer and asked another one. "When will my mom be back? I want to go home!" whined Noah.

Emily puffed out her cheeks "I don't— " and as if coincidentally, there was a knock at the door. Emily let out a sigh, smiling lightly at the boy and ruffling his hair, before stepping up to answer the door.

"Spencer!" exclaimed Emily with relief. "Hey!" she stepped out of the doorway, letting her friend inside.

"Mommy!" exclaimed the little boy with a smile as he ran up to her, hugging her legs. Spencer slightly bent down, settling her hands in his messy brown hair. A hint of a smile ran up her face at the presence of her son.

"Hey baby. Were you good for Emily?"

"He was an angel" answered Paige, who was now coming up to join the group. "Seriously" pressed Paige. "You sure got lucky with such a lovely little man."

"I sure did" said Spencer, but her voice was distant—wrapped in other thoughts revolving around the chaos creeping back into her life, again. But, Emily didn't seem to take notice.

"He was seriously great though Spence. You might have to be a little more careful when watching him, _someone_ just might snatch him away!" said Emily, playfully, as she squatted down to the little boy's level—whom was standing next to his mother, one of his hands still wrapped around her leg—and poked the indent in his chin, affectionately.

Spencer knew that when Emily said _someone _that she was implying herself, and that she was clearly joking, at that, but just the thought made her cringe. After a pause, she forced a overdue laugh. "Yeah," agreed Spencer, uneasily. "Well," said Spencer after a moment's pause, "We better get going!" exclaimed Spencer, as happily as she could. "Hanna just texted me that dinner's almost done, and how we need to get home before Caleb eats it all."

"Sounds like Caleb" laughed Paige, along with Emily.

Spencer nodded with a light laugh of her own.

Noah looked up to his mother "Caleb's at home?"

"Yeah, he's going to be eating dinner with us" said Spencer.

Noah let out a squeal of delight before saying "Well, then let's get this show on the road!"

Spencer let out a small giggle before rolling her eyes "Well, I better listen to king Noah's demand, before it's off with my head" Spencer gestured to _Alice In Wonderland _one of Noah's favorite movies. "Thanks for watching him" said Spencer, as she began to look through her purse for his wallet.

Emily rested a hand on hers "Spencer no! You are not paying us! We had a blast."

Spencer rolled her eyes, but she didn't argue. She simply just did her farewells and then hit the road. There was no point in arguing with Emily about this.

…

Dinner ran smoothly. Noah was so occupied in Caleb's story about how he had dissected a dead mouse at his volunteered job at the Philadelphia nature center, that he didn't even seem notice Spencer's absence from the second part of dinner.

She had snaked her way down to the parking lot; telling Hanna that she had forgotten her purse in her car. She didn't like to lie. But, how would Hanna react if she told her who she was really meeting? Here's a hint: on the borderline of psychotic; asking why she would ever involve herself with him again, what the hell she was thinking in talking to him again, all the questions she wasn't prepared for—questions she didn't have answers to.

She had been avoiding most of his calls all day. The last time she spoke to him was this morning, when she told him they were taking her phone, it seems like that was forever ago, but since then he has called her six times, none of which she answered to. She didn't quite know why she ignored his calls. Maybe it was to make him suffer, deal with the unknowing pain like she had, maybe she didn't really trust him all too well even though the evidence pointed elsewhere, maybe she thought it was none of his concern, maybe all of the above. Yet, she was meeting him in the parking lot on this dreadfully cold evening.

She spotted the familiar face standing idly in front of the path that led to the park area behind the apartment building. She jogged over to him, wanting to get this done as soon as possible. Besides, even if she wanted to take her sweet ole time, she couldn't—she told Hanna she was fetching her purse. Therefore she had approximately seven minutes to talk to Toby. There was no doubt that she would need to be quick.

He waved to her, but she didn't return the wave. The smile—that she couldn't determine whether or not was fake—faded as she got closer to him. "We have to make this quick, Hanna thinks I'm getting my purse."

He didn't argue with this. "What happened?"

She looked up at the sky—grey, which was to be expected, it was early October. The skies were getting greyer and greyer with each passing day, preparing for the long winter ahead. "That they can't really do anything about it" said Spencer, feeling regretful the second the words left Spencer's mouth. Was she being too quick to trust him? "If I get anymore…they can build a case though" said Spencer, almost in a warning tone. If it _was _Toby, maybe he would stop then. Besides, it was true anyways.

A few familiar facial expressions washed past Toby's face—anger, annoyance, _a certain protectiveness._ "What the hell? So, you are just supposed to wait around until someone decides to hurt you, until they'll do something. God dammit, I hate the cops" muttered Toby, as he shook his head. Spencer sighed. She felt the same way earlier—but she didn't want to agree with him. She didn't want to really have the same opinions. Maybe what he did to her in high school still kind of stung—a lot.

"I don't know. I mean maybe they are right. It was one text. Plus, the officer I talked to seemed pretty nice. _He_ seemed to want to help. He even told me when we went to lunch about how he'll help look for this guy with me on his day off." That was a lie, he didn't really say that. Maybe, she wanted to make him jealous. Although, her plan seemed to backfire, Toby didn't even flinch at the pronoun of _he _mixed with the phrase _when we went out to lunch._

"If he likes you so much, why isn't he looking for this guy right now?" pried Toby. He seemed pretty upset, and angry. Almost as upset and angry she was. It made her feel even more conflicted. She felt a little bad that she hadn't called him back all day. Maybe he was just trying to help. Maybe he wasn't the one behind this.

Spencer let out a shrug, not knowing what to even say. Her mouth was flung open, but her vocal chords seemed to be taking a nap.

"I'm going to find this guy. I swear to you, I will."

Spencer sighed, meeting his eyes, with hers. "Toby, you can't…how are you going to be able to. You don't even know where to start."

"Well, give me the I.P. address. I'm going to find this person, Spencer" promised Toby, looking directly into those mocha brown eyes. Their eye contact was becoming dangerously too long for both Toby and Spencer to handle. The two flickered their eyes away fearing that their eye contact would open up all the suppressed feelings inside them.

"I…don't have it right now. It's in my purse…which actually isn't in my car. It's upstairs. And I can't." sighed Spencer, peering up at Toby for a mere second before adverting her eyes once more "Just leave it alone, and don't worry about it. I'll figure it out."

"I'm not going to do that"

Spencer was about to ask why before realizing that they would just fall into another fight. So, she told him she would talk to him tomorrow—meet him somewhere—have him come over—do _something_ in which they could discuss this further. He seemed to agree to this, not pushing for anything more, or anything less.

He let her go back up to her apartment, watching her until she was out of sight. But, the saying "_out of sight, out of mind" _didn't apply to him all too well. He spent the rest of the night thinking about her, about Noah. He spent most of his nights thinking about them. He often went back and thought about all the possibilities. All his doubts and regrets, and how if he never joined this sick team, things could be different.

_The late August air was thick and heavy, he was becoming impatient waiting for his father to pick him up from the train station. He wasn't surprised that his father was late, though. His father didn't want him coming home—presumably like the rest of Rosewood. Toby wasn't too fond of coming home either, though, or at least that's what everyone called it—home. It wasn't home to him, really, though. It hasn't been for a long time, probably since before his mother died. All sense of 'home' had gone away with his mother. Hell, the reform school was probably more of a home to him than his house back in Rosewood. At least the people there treated him fairly. _

_He wasn't very eager to go back to the torment he had once lived in. Sure, Alison was missing, or whatever, but still, her posse was there. Probably still acting as they did when Alison was around, maybe Spencer Hastings became the new leader—it only seemed fitting. Aria Montgomery, she could possibly be the one to take over, but Toby doubted it. She didn't have the motivation, the leadership qualities, the bossiness and manipulative qualities both Alison and Spencer shared—not that he liked Aria or anything, he definitely had his reasons to hate her. There were other members of the group too—Emily Fields and Hanna Marin—but they were too naïve to take over the throne. Emily was sweet, and caring, he actually almost liked her, and Hanna was just a pathetic chubby wannabe that Alison had taken in, certainly not fit to take over the position as the new queen bee. Spencer was only the suitable choice, really._

_Finally, his father pulled up in his out dated ford fusion. He didn't even come out of his car to give his son a hug, he simply just popped the trunk open, so Toby could put his luggage in the car. _

_He took his seat in the passenger's seat, slamming the door behind him. He greeted his father shyly, but his father only mumbled in reply. Toby knew his father wasn't happy to see him, wasn't pleased with him coming home. He didn't want him to come home. He would probably let him rot away in this place for all eternity if he could. He couldn't imagine how his step-mother would be treating him, if this is how his biological father was acting. _

_He cursed Alison and her posse for forcing him to take the blame for their malicious prank. Maybe if they would have done the noble thing, and took blame for what they did, things would be different. _

_But, they didn't._

_When he arrived home, his father didn't have much of a conversation with him. He told him to take his things up to his room, and get ready for the lunch Elizabeth—his step mother—was preparing. Elizabeth didn't even greet him hello when he walked in. Everyone was acting like nothing happened, like he hadn't been gone for nearly a year, that perhaps he was just away for a weekend. It sickened him. What did he ever possibly do to deserve any of this?_

_Lunch was awkward and eerie. His father asked if he was glad to be back, and if he was going to be a better man now. Toby had said "yeah" to both questions, because what was he supposed to say? Elizabeth asked if he learned anything resourceful. And he told them about how he apprenticed with a carpenter, except he could tell they both didn't really care all too much. They were both absorbed in something far beyond him. _

_At the end of the dinner he realized what they were in such deep thought about: Jenna. She was coming home today, too. They had to go pick her up at the train station later that day. She was coming home from the school of the blind, or whatever—how wonderful. If he could remove anyone from Rosewood, It would be Jenna. He despised her more than anyone or anything._

_His parents told him to behave, and that he could go out and hangout with his friends if he wanted to—as if he had any. They probably just wanted him out of the house when Jenna got home. So, they could celebrate her home coming without him—not that he would ever want to celebrate that, anyways. They were probably going to stop at some fancy dinner on the way back, and buy her some new expensive snow globe, even though she wouldn't be able to see it. _

_Poor thing._

_Once they were gone, Toby simply kept doing what he had been doing since he got home—sitting in his room, drawing, and listening to The Smiths on repeat. Maybe things weren't so different after all. This is what he did every single night before he was sent to reform school. His parents always praised Jenna, and he was always pushed to the sidelines, hiding out in his room all day and night, with not a friend in the world. Some would call him a loner, but he liked it this way._

_Hell, maybe things would even be better. Maybe Jenna would just leave him alone, for good, and he could finally get his own tranquility. He would finally be able to enjoy his life again—well the best that he could with an abusive step sister, and hateful parents. _

_He couldn't have been more wrong._

_Later that night, halfway through the song "The Charming Man" he heard a loud banging, knocking sound, coming from down stairs. Growing tired of listening to the banging, he fled downstairs, and to his front door. _

_There stood a short brunette, with a made up face, and sporting in a light yellow sundress. She smiled widely, clearly not feeling as awkward as Toby. "Hello, Toby! Welcome back to Rosewood!"_

_Toby was a little confused. What was really going on here? Was she really here for him? She was probably here for Jenna. He imagined that word had gone around that she was coming home. "Um, Jenna's still not back yet. My parents went to pick her up—"_

_"Stop right there. I'm not here to see Jenna, I'm here to see you" said the short brunette, a tiny, coy smile rising on her glossed lips. _

_Toby furrowed his eyebrows. He didn't even know this girl…did he? She sort of looked familiar, but he could not match her face with a name. "Um, who exactly are you?"_

_"Well, I guess you could call me the welcome committee. But, Mona Vanderwaal."_

_Toby furrowed his eyebrows, the name rang a bell, but the girl in front of him definitely did not the image in his head. "Wait…you, you're that girl that Alison and her posse used to pick on, right?"_

_She seemed hesitant at first, embarrassed maybe, but nodded stiffly at the question. "I was. But, now things are…different. I'm a completely a new person."_

_"You don't have to say that again" mumbled Toby, doing another once over of the girl in front of him. She certainly had gotten a makeover of some sorts. _

_"May I come in?" asked Mona. Toby was caught off guard. She wanted to come in? He barely knew her for god's sake. But, for whatever reason, he nodded. She followed him inside the foyer, and they stood there for a moment, staring at each other in an eerie silence. _

_Toby looked at her perplexed. What on earth was she doing here? Visiting him? Didn't she know what he had done? "Um…what exactly do you want?" asked Toby, skeptically. _

_"It's not what I want, it's what you want" answered Mona, a coyness in her voice, matched with a vicious smirk. _

_"What is that exactly?"_

_"Justice. Just like me. We are a lot alike, Toby, both manipulated. Both pushed and stomped on by Alison and her little annoying posse of liars. We both deserve a lot more, than we have."_

_Toby looked at her with squinted eyes, and furrowed eyebrows "What are you—what are you talking about? Justice? Me deserving more? Haven't you heard what I did? Why I was sent away to reform school?" asked Toby, letting out a dry sarcastic chuckle, at the idea. _

_"I know the truth, Toby. I know you didn't do it. It was Alison and those little liars. I know you didn't hurt your step sis. Hell, I know she was actually the one to hurt you" said Mona, with a dark twisted laugh of her own._

_Toby took a step back, gaping at her. "How—how do you?"_

_"I know everything, Toby" she rolled her eyes, in annoyance, of his ignorance. "I know that the people of this town deserved to be punished. They can't just push us around, and expect us to sit back, and take it. No, we're going to retaliate. Beat them at the game they started so long ago."_

_Toby stared at her blankly, agreeing with every word she said. _

_"…so what are you going to do?"_

_"Well," a smile crept on Mona's face. A horrifying devilish one. A smile so vicious and dark, that Toby should have known how morbid the girl really was. "That's why I'm here. I'm giving you the chance to serve yourself the justice you deserve."_

_Toby stood there for a moment, feeding on her words. He quickly snapped out of it, shaking his head back in forth. "No, no, no thanks. I'm not the type for revenge" he shook his head, dismissing the thought. _

_"But, Toby. This isn't revenge…we are just serving a little justice, is all. Don't you want to stop them? Stop them from going around, acting like they are better than everyone else? We aren't doing anything wrong, really, only defending ourselves from them. We need to show them that they aren't in charge anymore—or else who knows what will happen. They've already gotten you sent away to a reform school, what's next if we don't stop them? We are protecting not only ourselves but everyone in Rosewood. Those liars have it coming for them. It's just a few pranks here and there, it's not like we'll be ruining their lives."_

_"…what do you want me to do?" asked Toby after a deep sigh, and little time to think about Mona's proposition. _

_Mona smiled darkly. "Befriend Emily Fields…then we'll talk" and just like that, she was gone, and the beginning of the destruction of his life begun. _

Toby chuckled under his breath as he remembered Mona's words—"_It's not like we'll be ruining their lives"—_right. He should have known better. He shouldn't have trusted her. But, without a friend in the world, and the whole town hating him, Mona's proposal seemed nice—better than the life he was living, but he was so, very wrong. Allowing Mona Vanderwaal to enter his life was the worst decision he's ever made.


	22. Chapter 22

**i'm back! wow ok i suck! but ok i've seen like a couple stories on here RECENTLY that have been taking on this plot, and i really hope no one drops my story for theirs :( because that would make me sad, because i have put so much time into this, and i know i'm slow, but give me some credit. So I hope you guys stick with me! Because i've put a lot of time and effort into this ok like it sucks but it's suckiness doesn't take away the time i put into it? like idk what i'm saying, i'm tired but yeah.**

**Thank you for your reviews you lovely people you :)**

Chapter 22

Her tapping hand danced across the surface of the counter of the small diner. She was waiting for a certain man to join her for an early breakfast. Her body may have been sitting on this bar stool, but her mind was far away—_very _far away. Miles from here. She was so out of it that she didn't even notice him walking in, let alone, take a seat next to her.

"Hey," said he, uneasily, as he tried to meet her fretting eyes. She didn't look at him, but she mustered a hello. A lot has happened to her since she saw him last, and he didn't know anything of why her attitude took a three sixty. It almost felt like a déjà vu of high school. When she used to lie to Toby, except that was completely different—Toby never needed the protection, he was amongst the people she was trying to protect him from. It struck her so many times that she should have seen the signs, but there were never any. He was always so sweet. And that scared her. _So was Larson_. It couldn't be history repeating its self right?

"Hello Larson" replied Spencer after a long beat, keeping her unsteady eyes on the canister of napkins. No, this was not a parallel of her high school years—she wasn't as blinded as she was back then—with Toby, that is. She didn't have those feelings for Larson, like she had for Toby. She wasn't blinded by _love _as everyone would refer to it.

"You okay?" he tried to rest his slightly cold hand on hers, but she jerked her hand back the instant their skin touched. She looked at him for a second, scanning his face for any sense of coldness, but there was _nothing. _Nothing at all. "I'm sorry. I'm just, a lot has been going on in these past couple days."

"Do you—do you want to talk about it?" asked Larson.

Even if she did, he wouldn't understand, not without her going back and telling him every secret and lie she ever told that got her into this mess in the first place. She shook her head slightly "not really, but thanks." She offered a half hearted smile.

"Are you sure?" his eyebrows furrowed by the slightest, his mouth falling into a flat line. He looked concerned, and as much as she wanted to wash that concern right of his face, and tell him that she was fine, she knew it wouldn't sound believable.

"Don't worry about me. Let's just get some pancakes, okay?"

_"Where are you off to in such a rush?" asked Spencer—weeks before finding out the truth of her boyfriend's other life—after she witnessed him nearly leap off her red sofa chair in the corner of her room, following a text message that chirped on his phone._

_"I'm—going to work." He sounded unsure at first, but it was quickly replaced by a certain confidence and sternness, that Spencer didn't see a reason to question it. After all, this was Toby Cavanaugh. He had the conscience of jiminy cricket himself. Why would she ever think he could be lying?_

_"Oh" her mouth parted slightly, as she began to stand up, and walk towards him. "You want a sandwich or something before you go?" asked Spencer, as she rubbed her hands on his forearms. _

_"No, um, I'll be fine" he smiled, his smile so innocent and angelic, no signs of demonic attributes before her. "Thank you" added he, sweetly, as he could be._

_"Build some houses!" chirped Spencer before offering a peck on his lips. His lips barely moved at her touch, they kind of froze, really. Although, she didn't seem to notice. She was so oblivious to what he really meant by work. He wasn't lying, but he sure as hell wasn't being honest. _

"Well, I have to go to class" said Spencer, as she stood up from the bar stool. "I'll see you later."

"Will you?" his feet joined hers on the tiled floor. "Because, I just," he shrugged. " I kind of feel like you aren't really…into me" said Larson, sheepishly.

"I am" said Spencer, almost surprising herself at how fast the words traveled out of her mouth. They flew by so fast that she questioned the sincerity behind them. "I just—I have a kid. He comes first. I'm sorry."

"Hey, no, no, no" he placed a gentle hand on her arm, shaking his head, lightly. "Don't apologize, it's wrong for me to act this way. I know you have your priorities, I guess I'm just not used to it yet."

"The perks of dating a single mother" retorted Spencer, sarcastically.

He chuckled at this. "Speaking of," he nearly coughed on his words. "the word _dating. _Um, I've been thinking. What exactly are we doing? What are the terms? Are we just dating, or are you dating anyone else…because I don't want you to."

Her eyes altered away for a second, and her heart dived into her stomach. "Um," she mumbled. "I'm not seeing anyone else…but I don't know, if I'm really ready to be exclusive either, I'm sorry." She said looking at his through her eyelashes.

He seemed fazed by this—saddened. She didn't want that. But, she also didn't want to lie and pretend she wanted a relationship; where he would call her his girlfriend, and she would call him his boyfriend—she didn't want to call him her boyfriend. She just wanted to call him Larson. Why couldn't they just keep it that way? Simple and clean, the way she liked it.

"Look, it's not you…"

"It's me." He mocked her potential works, shaking his head down at the bill his hands were nibbling at. "I get it."

"No, Larson, it sounds cliché but _it is_ me. I don't know. Okay, I'm sorry—I just. Why is it necessary to label things? Don't you like how things are now?"

"No, I don't" he looked her straight in the eye. "I don't like how I spend my time questioning whether or not there is another guy. If I just look like some foolish love sick puppy to you—if I'm just another guy sketched into your busy schedule."

She sighed "It's not like that" she gritted through her teeth, her eyes roaming around the diner at the staring customers. "Larson," spoke Spencer, softly. "There isn't any other guy, I just—"

"Then what is it?"

"It's complicated!"

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, well maybe a little too complicated for me. I'll see you around Spencer." He walked past her with such coldness, that Spencer suddenly felt the rush of winter coming at her. She sighed, looking at him as he left the diner, the ringing bell following his exit.

She debated to chase after him, but what would be the point of that?They wanted different things, and she certainly wasn't ready for what he wanted. Sighing she followed his steps out of the diner, but the little bell wasn't the only thing that was ringing once she left, her phone was too.

She slipped it out of her pocket, hesitantly, fearing who it could be.

_"You're a slut. I hope when you see this you'll break for good. You deserve it. –A"_ she looked around, her heart racing against the theories her mind was creating. She re-read it, and re-read it again, each time her mind accusing Larson more and more. She had just told him she didn't want to be in an exclusive relationship, and then she got _this? _

She was going to find out who this person was, whether it was Larson or not, she was going to find out who this person was _today._

Spencer Hastings wasn't one to ditch class, unless it was something important. And this _important. _Her philosophy class wasn't nearly important as what was going on in her life right now. So instead of driving to campus, she took another turn, and drove to the police station. Looks like she was going to have another encounter with Officer Appleton.

Four hours later of waiting anxiously in the lobby, biting her nails down to the core, and creating a hole to china with the amount of foot tapping she's been doing, Officer Appleton finally can back with some information.

"We've been able to contact the phone company; apparently this guy's name is Trevor Grey. Do you know him?"

She furrowed her eyes up at him in the slightest. _Trevor Grey? _Did she know him? Trevor…Trevor…it was a familiar name, and suddenly it hit her. _Trevor. _The guy Aria set her up with this summer. What the actual fuck?

"I guess…we went on _one_ date."

"Well, this is the guy who has been sending the texts, or at least it's this guys phone that they were being sent on." He passed her the papers, it was full of information. It had every text and call that he had made in the last two weeks. And there it was. The most recent A text, right on the top.

Her jaw gradually dropped as her eyes scanned the paper. This didn't feel real. Was it actual over?

"I'm sorry about that, Spencer. This guy's a total creep, and I wish he could rot behind bars, but the most we can do is a warning since there wasn't any threats. I have some papers that you can fill out to obtain a restraining order, It might take some time, and you might be spending some time in court, but I don't know how much a real threat this guy is, you might want to take some time to think about it."

Her eyebrows still furrowed, she took her eyes off the papers in her hands, and back at the officer. "I—can I talk to him first before you do anything."

"I don't know if that's the best idea. I wouldn't want to see you getting hurt. Being alone with this guy, threat or not,-"

"_I wouldn't be alone. I have someone to go with_."

The officer looked warily at her. "Spencer, I can't stop you from going. But, I'm not sure it's the best idea. You can just let us handle—"

"Look, I just want to speak to him. If something goes wrong, then I'll come here, and report it."

"Spencer," he shook his head lightly, a sort of protectiveness in his eyes. "I don't want you to do that, but you seem like the person whom when gets their mind stuck on something, they don't quit. So, is there really any point of me arguing with you about it?"

She smiled slightly. "No."

He let out a sigh. And then clapped a hand on her shoulder. "Be safe." And then he left, going back to his work, leaving Spencer to fend for herself. Spencer roamed her eyes down to where his personal information was. He lived in the same apartment building as Aria. That explained a lot of things.

She bit her lip. _Confronting with a tormentor_—it surely wasn't her first experience of doing so, but that didn't stop the creeping of Goosebumps spiraling down her spine, or the shaken feeling waiting to erupt inside her. She was strong—that was obvious, but even the strongest people had their fears. She wasn't made of stone. She still had feelings, worries, and fears. She still needed support from others.

And this time she was going to take on the support of someone who she hasn't let in, in years; Toby Cavanaugh.

She hesitantly called him, her voice low with worries, and her heart racing fast with fears. She was still unsure of his loyalty. She was still unsure of whether or not he has changed, or if this was all some big giant ploy. She wanted to trust him, she truly did, but she couldn't will herself to do so. Not completely trust him like she once had, that is.

He picked up on the third ring. Usually she wasn't one to call him first. In most cases he would have called her four times, her ignoring every one of his calls, and then she would respond to his call the next day, or later that night. She never called him first, at least not anymore, she didn't.

"Is everything alright?" asked Toby, immediately. Spencer didn't exactly plan out how she was going to tell him any of this. Maybe it would be better in person.

"Are you busy?" asked she, ignoring the question completely, or perhaps saving it for later.

"Uh—kind of. I'm at work…but I mean, I can clock out early, and just come back later." His sentence started of unsure, weak. But, it ended so strongly, that Spencer didn't even bother to ask if he was sure. She told him she would come to his construction site, pick him up, and he agreed.

"What's wrong?" asked Toby as soon as his behind met the car seat. Spencer looked warily at him through the corner of her eyes.

Finally her wary eyes, met his "I found out who has been texting me."

His eyebrows rose quickly and his eager mouth twitched to say something, but she beat him to it. "it's this guy…I went on one date with him…and I don't know. I never did anything _bad_ to him. I have his address and everything."

"We are going there" declared Toby. It wasn't a question, it was undeniably a statement.

She gulped. "Yeah. I wanted you to come with me."

He stared at her for a second, a familiar softness expanding across his face, his mouth parting slightly. He didn't say anything because he was to in awe that she wanted anything to do with him. He was still taking in the moment.

"So yeah, um, now or never I guess" mumbled Spencer, looking away from Toby. She started engine, and then they were off. It was a fifteen minute drive, but it didn't feel like that—it felt like an hour long drive. The awkward tension stretched the minutes. The clock didn't move. It stayed still, mocking them both. Neither knew what to say but both felt the need to say _something. _But, they didn't. They stayed silent the whole trip there. At times like these Spencer really wished her radio wasn't broken.

They finally arrived at their destination—Trevor's (and Aria's) apartment building. They sat there staring at it for a few minutes before Toby said "Are you okay, Spencer?" and she noticed how he didn't call her Spence like he once did, and she didn't know how she felt towards this.

She nodded frantically, clearing her throat, and taking one last glance at the apartment building before staring at Toby. "Yeah, let's go."

They walked rather slowly to his apartment. The supervisor at the front desk reluctantly told them what apartment number Trevor had which led them to the elevator and another round of awkward silence. Finally they arrived before his door.

Both looked at each other.

"You ready?"

She nodded slightly, before turning her attention to the door, her hesitant knuckles clanking against it.

A few eerie seconds passed before the door opened.

And there he stood. _Trevor_. He looked like your average Joe—wearing jeans and a green sweatshirt (at least it wasn't black). But, Spencer learned a long time ago that people aren't who they play out to be. Their appearance may play off as gentle and kind, but in reality, they were cold and dark.

He looked caught off guard, and Spencer didn't expect him to react any other way. "Spe—Spencer?" stuttered he, opting a crooked smile.

Her quivering lips parted, letting out a disgusted scoff. "Hello, Trevor" greeted Spencer viciously. Her crazy eyes narrowed on him with a maximum intensity.

He looked guilty, that was for sure.

"What are you doing here? How do you know where I live? Who is this guy?" he shifted his eyes towards Toby for a split second, and in that split second, her eyes followed Trevor's leading to Toby. He looked furious, fuming with hatred and disgust.

She quickly adverted her eyes back to Trevor "You know why I'm here."

He stood there for a second, blinking. She heard Toby scoff in disgust beside her. "We know you're the disgusting creep who's been sending her anonymous texts and signing them A" growled Toby.

"What are you—talking, dude, I don't even know her that well" fumbled the man in the doorway.

Toby stepped forward, towering over the man in the doorway, endless depths of fiery in his blue eyes. Spencer watched, biting her lip, worried Toby would do something both would regret—even if she did want to see Trevor's irritable face smashed in, she knew in the long run it would be a strike against them, rather than Trevor himself. "Don't you fucking dare. Don't you dare try and excuse yourself from this. You better fess up now, or you can expect court papers in your mail box tomorrow."

Trevor's face dropped into something—hesitation, worry, Spencer couldn't exactly put her finger on it. But, he definitely looked guilty. "I didn't send any texts," mumbled Trevor, weakly.

Toby cut him off. "The police know you did, you little piece of shit. So, you better start begging and apologizing and pray to god she doesn't press charges against your sorry ass." he said, completely in the culprit's face. His voice was shallow, and chilling. It occurred to her that this probably wasn't the first time he's ever had to get up in someone's face and it also occurred to her how much he was holding back. His eager-to-hit-Trevor's-face-fists were balled up so tightly that she would probably have to pry his fingers apart, and his deathly eyes spoke the untold words of his mouth—he wanted to kill him.

Trevor seemed hesitant, looking at Toby, blinking, and then at Spencer. His nervous mouth bobbing up and down, repeatedly, and his guilty eyes flashing between Spencer and Toby. Finally they settled on Spencer. The guilt in them increased from just a few seconds ago. "It was just a text. I didn't think—it didn't think anything of it. I searched you online, and some shit about you getting stalked in high school popped up. I just wanted you to—I was mad, you never call me back. And then I see you with some guy. First at your friend's engagement party that I only went to, to see you"

"Wait…you were there? How? Who invited you!?"

"I got invitation—I don't know! And then this morning, you walk right past me without even saying _hi, _and you were with that same prick you were with at that dumb party! And now you bring this chum here" he threw a hand up in Toby's direction.

She stared at him with an absurd setting in her dark eyes. _She thought this guy was nice. _"It was one date" said Spencer in a monotone, fighting the urge to strangle him herself.

"You're sick" commented Toby, doing a once over of the man in the doorway.

"Whatever man, enjoy your night with her because you sure as hell won't see her tomorrow. _She's a slut._"

Toby had enough. The next thing Spencer knew, Toby had Trevor by the collar of his sweat shirt, and a finger stabbing into his chest. "Don't you fucking dare say another word about her, or to her, or I swear to god, you'll regret it."

Trevor jerked Toby away, taking a step backwards into his apartment. His cheeks were sucked into his already hollow face. "Have a good night" said Trevor, in a disgusted tone—as if he was the one to be disgusted, _right_—before slamming the door in their face.

Spencer looked down first before looking at Toby—he was already staring at her "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine" answered Spencer. "Let's go." She led the way back to the elevator, and all the way back to the car.

Once they were seated in the car, Spencer took the moment, that was good as any to thank him—and apologize. "Toby" murmured Spencer, softly.

"Mmm?" he tilted his head over, but he didn't meet her eyes. Nonetheless, she continued.

"Thank you. For coming."

"I wanted to. Thank _you _for letting me come." He looked her in the eye, and she found it hard to believe that she was talking to the same guy who was just a split second away from giving away a black eye.

"I wanted you to come" said Spencer once again, her facial expression not wavering a bit, but her voice softening drastically. She blinked. "And I'm sorry…that I thought it was you—"

"Don't apologize." He slightly chuckled, shaking his head. "You have no reason to say sorry. You had every right to think it was me. I can't just come back here and think that you'll trust me, and forgive me. It doesn't work like that."

A speckle of sympathy passed through her eyes, but was gone almost as soon as it came. She rolled back her shoulders, taking in a deep breath. "Nonetheless, you were there for me today. You came with me. And you dropped everything, to do so. You were really there for me. Thank you."

"I would drop anything for you" murmured Toby, his voice light, and soft, but packed with sincerity and promise. His steady eyes were locked on her, unblinking, and intensifying by the second. She couldn't stare away, as much as she needed to, she couldn't.

She finally blinked, shifting her eyes to the steering wheel. "Thanks" she mumbled.

_And for some odd reason she actually believed what he said. _

**_are you happy with me finally? Did i do something remotely nice?_**


	23. Chapter 23

Hi guys, so long time no see. UM THE FINALE? I died! Well, even though Toby was protecting her—my story will not change! Ok

Well…

You all think I'm satan

But SH it's getting there ;)

Bye

Chapter 23

Spencer watched her son from afar as he played with his train set. She had been spending far too much time apart from the little delight of her life. He was growing up so fast, so fast that Spencer found herself mourning for the days when he was just weeks old, his hands so tiny, and small. So innocent and naïve to the world. Not that he wasn't now. But, Spencer knew her son saw the differences in his life compared to his friends' lives. He would always live with that burden of "_why didn't my father want me?" _planted in the back of his head. Except that wasn't even true. His father _did _want him. Spencer was just keeping Noah away from his father—and for good reason, right? He was so dishonest, so deceitful. How was she just supposed to trust him with the most precious and valuable thing she had in the world? _She couldn't! _There was too much of a risk at stake! He was her baby, she made a pact; she wouldn't let anyone hurt him. It was a promise that she wasn't willing to break. Her parents never protected her, and she wasn't going to do that to Noah.

"Mommy!" said Noah as he ran up to her, with an enlightened smile on his face. "Let's play trains!" her son dragged her to where he was sitting a few seconds ago, his small hands tugging on her shirt.

"Okay" said Spencer, taking a seat on the floor. A smile danced across her face. They sat on the floor, playing with trains, for awhile. Noah had scolded her after she had mistakenly taken on the assumption that trains could talk. "They can't talk! They go like _aHHHHhoOOOooh" _he had told her, a sound resembling a dying whale coming out of his mouth, making her immensely laugh. Spencer had mimicked his peculiar noises, which ultimately led to them both laughing up a storm causing an angry _and tired _Hanna Marin to migrate out of her cave.

Noah had immediately asked her to play trains with them, completely unaware of how grumpy the woman was. Hanna had groggily replied in a lazy mumble, that Spencer believed was English, but she wasn't completely sure.

"Hanna isn't in the mood to play with trains" said Hanna a minute later, after Noah had delivered another request. "Hanna is in the mood for sleep, but Hanna can't sleep because Hanna apparently transported to a train station, where trains make whale noises, last night."

Spencer laughed at her friend, excusing herself from her son. "Hanna is just a tired old grump!" she told her son. "Just keep playing with your trains; I'm going to go talk to her."

"I'm actually so tired that I'm drinking _your coffee. _What. Is. Life." Hanna said as she poured a vast amount of half and half into her cup.

"It's not _exactly _my coffee when you pour a whole half gallon of creamery into it." Spencer protested, glancing at the coffee cup in her friend's hand. It was now a beige color.

"Yeah, and it's not enough!" Hanna replied before taking a sip of her coffee. "Why must you be up at 8 in morning on a Sunday? You know this is one of my only days off! You couldn't have taken him to like, I don't know, a park? Run him around a few times until he passes out?"

Spencer gave her friend an odd look.

"You know what I mean! Look, I just didn't get any sleep last night, like at all! I was up half the night with all this wedding crap, and ugh, I just never have the time. Especially with the holidays coming up! Business is booming, and as glad as that makes me, it's tiring me out. I go in at five in the morning and don't come home till seven at night! Ugh, I need to hire more people."

Spencer offered a supporting smile. "Do you have anything you need done? I mean you are my boss. I could get some applications made, and post them on the website for you."

"You don't have plans?"

Spencer shook her head. "I was just planning to hang out with Noah today" she smiled, glancing at her son.

"So, you're back to being your normal _I-have-no-fun-all-I-do-is-work-and-school-and-the-only-person-I-hang-out-with-is-my-son_ self?"

Spencer rolled her eyes. "Noah's my life, Hanna. He's my baby. Think about your bakery. You love it and adore it, and most of your time is dedicated to it. He's my bakery." Spencer said, still gazing at her son.

"Yeah, but I have a way to blow off some steam when my bakery is too much. Caleb is really the only reason I don't already have wrinkles, and grey hairs."

"Oh?" Spencer said, staring at her, as she examined her head. Her eyebrows ceased. "I, yeah"

"What?" Hanna's face drove to absolute panic. "What is it?!" Hanna screeched, putting the coffee cup on the counter, so she could cup her own face.

"It's just—no."

"Spencer!"

"Is that a grey hair?"

"What!" Hanna screeched, running her nervous hands furiously through her hair.

Spencer couldn't contain her laughter as she watched her friend freak out over absolute nothing, but lies of course.

Hanna noticed her a second later, narrowing her eyes on her friend. She glanced at Noah before staring back at Spencer and mouthing a _fuck you._

"Speaking of." A smirk enwrapped on the blonde's face. "Has anybody been…well you know? Fertilizing your crops?"

Spencer smiled. "Um, no."

"Then why are you smiling? Jesus Christ, Spence. It's like medicine for stress, like doctors literary recommend it. I recommend it."

"You're a doctor now?"

Hanna waved her off. "I read an article about it, if you must know. It's true. OK?"

Spencer rolled her eyes. Spencer has heard about this too—sex being healthy for you, but Hanna just made it sound ridiculous.

"What ever happened to that guy? The one you brought to my thing? Larry?"

"Larson."

"Yeah, he was hot. I think he could do you good."

"Well, we broke up, so." Spencer pursed her lips, hiding the frown forming on her lips. She truly missed him. His cockiness always made him laugh. He was such a dork.

"Why?" Hanna said, more angrily than sympathetically.

She shrugged. "Different things."

"Is this about Toby?" Hanna asked, her voice a tad softer than before.

Spencer didn't say a word.

"Spencer," she sighed.

"It's not about him, I just. I just don't want a relationship. I have Noah. Being with Larson, was…nice. But, I missed Noah too much. I want all the time I have left with him while he still clings to my leg, soon he'll be getting older—going to parties, refusing to go anywhere with me. I don't want to miss anything in Noah's life for a guy who probably won't even matter to me in a few months."

"You deserve a life."

"and I have one—Noah."

Hanna backed out of the fight, mumbling a fine to her last phrase, and dismissed herself to go get ready for the day.

Spencer had to admit that she wasn't being completely honest when she told Hanna it wasn't about Toby. What she told Hanna was_ true, _she might have, sort of, left out a part—the part about Toby.

She was so conflicted on whether or not to trust him. She saw no reason not to, but then she remembered what he did, and things change.

He's been completely honest with her ever since he came back. Absolutely genuine. Even about the things that could anger her. Like how he wanted her to go to the police. He wouldn't take no for an answer. He wanted to protect her—it reminded her of how things used to be between them. Both willing to do anything to protect one another, so she thought.

He said he fought for her, tried to get out, tried to help by finding answers once he realized that there was no getting out of the quick sand that Mona had pushed his helpless body into.

She realized he had his share of being the victim—Mona didn't just torture the girls, she tortured him too.

Except he was the villain too. He did so many awful things. Caleb's mother almost died because of him. He lied to her. He told Mona things that should have been secrets kept. He sabotaged and plotted and went against her in the worst way he could.

But then she remembers he was also the hero. He saved her life. Without him, she would be dead right now. She wouldn't have seen the broad lights of day ever again; her last hymn would be the tune of the bells clanking together as she fell to her death; the last vision would be Ian—looking down at her with a half-guilty-half-relieved smile that she was no longer a problem. It sent shivers down her back.

But could the three cancel each other out? Could they discard the bad, with the good? Spencer didn't know. Struggling to find a balance in between the two, she gave up, and decided to play with Noah once again, at least it would put her mind at ease…maybe.

…

Later that day, after Spencer made to Hanna's wishes and set up some applications on the bakery's website, and once Hanna left for her meeting with the florist, Spencer took the liberty to put good use to the good weather, and take Noah to the park.

The mid October weather was usually good or bad. There was no in between; no grey space. It was either chilly, and windy with a decreasingly low temperature, or a day like today, where the sun held high in the sky, and there was not a cloud in sight; the perfect day to take a stroll in the park.

Spencer followed her son around for two hours straight—running up and down the slide, chasing around the tires, gliding through the monkey bars, and following him through the obstacles he would create. She was _exhausted. _No, that was an understatement. She felt like she needed to lie down for the next few centuries.

"Noah," she said exasperated, heaving through her words. "Aren't you a little tired? Jeez, I swear you must have gotten into my coffee or something."

He wasn't really listening, he was more or less tugging on her shirt, pulling her towards the swings. Spencer stopped in her pace, crouching down to his level.

"How about mommy takes you home, and we can eat some lunch. I'll even pick you a cookie when I get my coffee."

The second _cookie _left her mouth, the boy's eyes brightened, and a enthusiastic smile danced right onto his face. She barely gave him sweets. Usually, on the rare occasions where he was blessed with such a treat, it was when Hanna was sneaking them to him. Which, annoyed Spencer entirely. But, Hanna was just being Hanna. "Chocolate chip!?"

"Yes, yes of course. As if it would be anything else." She laughed.

"Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go get em cookies!" he tugged her towards where the pathway of the park laid. She shook her head with laughter, as she followed her head to the path out of the park.

The park was never just for kids. It was for anyone. It was a community park. A big park. It's where the local baseball teams practiced, where the middle schoolers went to hang out in their free time, where people went on bike rides and jogged. It wasn't just for kids, it was for everyone.

So, when she saw Toby Cavanaugh jogging there way, clad in a purple shirt with sweat stains and basketball shorts, her heart nearly jumped out of her ribcage—not because she was surprised, or anything, but just at how _hot _he looked.

As he came closer, he began to slow down, a hesitant smile fresh on his lips as he did so. She stood there for a second, put under a certain spell that only Toby could cast. She snapped out of it quickly, reminding her son who the man was. "Hey, Noah, look its Toby!"

The little eyes lit up the second Toby left her mouth. "hi!" the little boy exclaimed. "I named my dog after you, you should see it! Mommy do you still have it? Show it to him!"

Toby looked confused, for a second, but smiled nevertheless.

"He drew a picture of a dog, and named him after you." Spencer filled him head, causing him to nod in understanding.

"Well, I'm certainly honored!" Toby said.

"mommy do you have the picture?" The boy asked his mother.

"No, I don't. It's at home."

The little boy pouted. "Can Toby come home so he can see it?" the little boy asked his mother, causing both of the adults to become flabbergasted.

"Um, I'm sure that Toby is kind of…busy right now" she said doing a once over of him.

"Yeah," he agreed, but his tone spoke otherwise. He sounded disappointed. "I don't think I could, right now. I'm pretty sweaty and gross" he chuckled.

"It doesn't matter! I don't care! My mommy might, she always makes me take a bath, but it's all good with me!" the little boy told the man, rambling on so fast, that Toby barely caught what he was saying.

Toby couldn't resist laughing along with Spencer, who stood idly beside the two. "Alright, that's enough. Um," she looked up at Toby. "Do you think you would want to come over a little later, maybe an hour, for some lunch?"

Toby's facial expression went soft. His smile drifted, and his blue eyes glazed over with hope and awe. He looked so dumb struck and unattainable to his words, that Spencer worried of his response. "yeah, yeah, that would be nice." He nodded his head, still dumbstruck.

Spencer grinned at his response.

As did Noah. "Now I can show you all my toys! Will you play Uno with me?" Noah asked, excitedly.

"Yeah! Yeah! Sure, definitely!" Toby replied, a genuine grinned plastered on his face.

"I'm going to beat you! I'm _reaaaaaaaaaaallly _good!" the little boy warned.

"I'm not too shabby myself." He counteracted.

"I can beat anyone!" the little boy boasted.

"calm down, kid." She told her son, with a little chuckle. "He's _a tad_ competitive." Spencer told Toby.

"I wonder where he gets that." Toby teased.

Spencer rolled her eyes, but a smile was sketched across her vibrant face. "_I wonder_" she mused.

"Well, anyways." She cleared her throat, taking her son's hand once more. "We'll see you in about an hour?" questioned Spencer, a specific coyness about her. He nodded in return, the smile struck on his face failing to falter.

With that, they parted way. Spencer visited the coffee shop—got Noah his cookie, promising to give it to him once they eat lunch. He seemed pretty upset over this. Whining on about how _"you promised!" _and _"why can't I just eat it now?" _until they got home. He settled down once he was back home, and Spencer told him that he should make a picture for Toby too.

Once they returned home she began to prepare lunch while Noah slaved away over his new masterpiece. She was making turkey and bologna sandwiches, which so happened to be not only Noah's, but Toby's favorite too. They were a lot of like on some aspects— more than she'd like to admit, of course.

Spencer had three placemats out, three pairs of silverware, three cups filled with fresh lemonade, three sandwiches made, precisely three because of the simple reason of how she was expecting three, not four. She didn't imagine— wish, for Hanna to be part of the lunch. Hanna didn't like Toby, and Hanna wasn't afraid to voice her opinion — Spencer knew Hanna had her reasons — just, obviously — but she hoped she would give him a second chance, although hope never went along with her very well.

Hanna had emerged from the door, already shouting and complaining how badly she needed a spa day, the second her un-pedicured foot stepped through the doorway. She went on for a few minutes saying things like "You _tell this lady you want violets, and what does she bring me? Carnations ! Like no, that is is not what I asked for dahlias! How do you even get those confused?"_ and so on about how dumb you have to be to get those confused, but Spencer could hardly listen, her mind was too focused on the phrase_: "HannaishereHannaishereHannai shere"_ to even catch another word of what her friend was saying.

"Why are you here?" Spencer urgently asked in the midst of Hanna's rage.

"Because I live here?" She replied, narrowing her blue eyes on her friend. Her eyes traveled from Spencer, to the three sandwiches made on the counter. "Oh you made sandwiches? God, I love you, Spence. I should marry you! " Hanna said, reaching over to grab a sandwich.

Right as her tongue's engine was about to start up, to make up some lame excuse why Hanna can't eat the sandwich, there was a knock at the door.

Hanna sighed, peeling her hands away from the sandwich to cup a hand on her friend's shoulder. "Pour me a glass of lemonade, babe, I'm getting the door." She told Spencer, causing her to roll her eyes dramatically.

She was right on Hanna's heels, racing her to the door. Ultimately, Hanna won. She opened the door, and there he was, standing there with a hesitant glint in his eyes.

"Toby" Hanna hissed after the initial shock, he didn't say anything. Hanna did a 180 degree turn, now facing Spencer. "Spencer!" She growled.

Spencer winced. This wasn't how she was picturing her afternoon.

As if God himself took the liberty to discard of this awfully awkward moment, in came the four year old known as Noah, exclaiming the word "Toby!" repeatedly.

Once he was in close range; close enough to be at the man's grip, he grabbed his hand, pulling at him to come inside. " Toby come on! You have to see my room! It's so cool! It has a bunch of outer space stuff, like it's a lot like outer space! It has these stars that light up when you turn off the light, and these cool rocket ships on the wall! You have to see! Mommy can he come see?"

Spencer didn't even bother to look at Hanna, she rather not see the disdaining expression most likely sketched out on her face. "Yeah, sure." She said uneasily, keeping her eyes locked on her son, as he dragged Toby down the hall and into his room.

"Spencer, what the hell?" Hanna hissed, in what sounded to be attempted whisper-Hanna was never a good whisperer.

She closed her eyes, trying to void of the negativity her friend was offering to her.

It wasn't working out very well.

"Why is here?" She continued, her voice becoming more hateful by the letter.

"He's having lunch with us." Spencer said as calmly as she could muster. Spencer loved Hanna, she did, but she absolutely hated the way she had to meddle so much into her life, especially when it involved a certain person with the first name Toby, and the last name Cavanaugh.

"Why?"

"Because...he is?"

Spencer didn't know what to tell Hanna, truthfully she was confused as to her own intentions of inviting Toby over.

"Spencer," Hanna sighed, shaking her head as she rapidly ran her hands through her hair — a thing she did when she was stressed, or nervous. "You can't — this isn't a good decision. I don't trust him."

"You've spent, at the most, three minutes with him! Just give him another chance Han, I'm not asking you to serve him your life on a platter, I'm just asking you to have _lunch_ with him!"

Hanna sighed, casting her one last _i'm-worried-about-you _look before hoisting up a fake smile and saying "fine, one lunch, but you better get your ass back in that kitchen and make your hungry Han a sandwich."

So she did.

After Spencer finished making Hanna her sandwich, set the table, and told Noah to wash up for lunch, the four sat at the table, succumbed by plague of awkward silence.

That is until Noah spoke up, questioning at why no one was saying anything.

Little kids; they don't care. They don't know what awkward tension is. They are straight up, and blunt. Maybe, that is why they are so genuine; they are always honest.

Hanna tried to dismiss the question off by saying "everyone is too busy chewing these yummy sandwiches to talk, silly" which was accompanied by a nice little pat on Noah's head.

After Hanna had affectionately, and successfully, messed up the little boy's hair, her whole facade dropped to a certain degree coldness. Her eyes were now mad with vengeance, and her lips were curled up into a vicious smirk.

Spencer slumped down her chair, as she saw Hanna turn her head towards Toby. She did not want her ears to be a witness to whatever was going to pour out of Hanna's mouth.

"Isn't this a good sandwich Toby? I bet you've never had a sandwich this good!"

Spencer could see the uncomfortableness in Toby's face, the timidness of his persona projecting off every feature he had.

He gulped. "Um, yeah it's really good." He said, but he wasn't looking at Hanna. He was looking at Spencer, but only for a half second at the most.

"Have you had a lot of sandwiches Toby? Do you eat them a lot? I know how guys like you like your sandwiches-in big supply, and loaded." Hanna quipped up, keeping her eyes focused on him.

"I don't eat them that often, but I mean they are good." He said in a mumble, this time peeking up at Hanna.

She sneered. "They are pretty great. But, not the cheep ones-no, you have to have the ones that are homemade, the ones made with love. Spencer sure knows how to make a sandwich, doesn't she?"

"...yeah" Toby mumbled after a pause, a certain glint of regret parked in his eyes.

This time his eyes were on Spencer, and that's where they stayed.

"I can probably guarantee you that you won't find another sandwich like this. It's the best one you'll ever have."

Toby's eyes slowly fell off of Spencer, and landed on his sandwich. He breathed out another yeah, right as Noah exclaimed "wow! You guys really like your sandwiches!"

Spencer didn't reply, she kept her eyes on Toby, partially confused, and partially saddened by the new vibe that had taken over him.

She didn't quite grasp what the sandwiches were a metaphor for.

Hanna spoke up, knocking Spencer out of her trance. "You know kid, don't mock me about my sandwiches or I might just have to take yours!" the woman teased, poking the little boy gently in the chest, resulting in a giggle escaping the boy's mouth.

"No! It's mine!" He shook his head, picking up the sandwich to take a bite.

Spencer smiled at the sight, she looked back at Toby, he was smiling too, but there was a certain sadness in his eyes that Spencer couldn't put her finger on.

Lunch continued the second half being a little better than the first. Noah went on to talk about how they were made goo out of baking pounder and water the other day, and how they should make it right now, which Spencer very much declined to telling him how much of a mess that would be, but maybe they could do it another time. Some way or another, Hanna got back on to the topic of her "god awful florist" and they all listened to her rage for a good ten minutes until Spencer's phone started to go off.

She mumbled a sorry as she checked for the caller I.D.

Larson.

"You can get that Spence, I'm just about done here." She announced, dropping the napkin that was just cleaning up the crumbs around her mouth, down.

"As much as I was in need of your permission, it's just Larson." She sighed. "I can call him back later."

"Ooh, take the call!" Hanna yelled, a smile expanding across her face.

Spencer was hesitant, she glanced over at Toby.

"You should take it" he suggested, his voice low, and meek.

She inhaled deeply, taking the call, and greeting the man on the other like with a nonchalant hello.

She excused herself from the table before running off to her room to be in private.

"OK what is it?" She asked, closing her door.

"I've been thinking a lot about the other day..." He said, guilt woven in his voice.

She didn't interrupt. He continued.

"I feel like a dick, really. I don't want to force you into anything. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry, Larson. I am. I didn't mean to lead you on to think that I wanted a relationship...I just, I really am sorry."

"Don't be" he chuckled softly "it was fun hanging out with you."

"We still can...hangout."

She heard the familiar chuckling in her ear again.

"I don't think that can happen" he replied. "At least not yet, you know? It's just too hard...it still sort of hurts."

A beat passed.

"I hope you find someone, someone who will be ready for all the love you bring them. You're a great guy, you deserve to be with someone who acknowledges that" Spencer quietly told him.

"And you deserve happiness. Don't let anyone take that away from you, okay? Do what you want, not what others are forcing you into."

If only Spencer knew what she wanted.

She has never been someone who would ask the world to make her decisions. She would always know what he wanted, and go after it with all she's got, but this was different. Everything with Toby was different. He made her different. Around him, she was some weakling who didn't know the difference between left and right-good and bad. He made her judgment blurry-well more blurry than it already was, let's be honest, Spencer Hastings never had the best judgement-he made every decision hundred times more difficult. The line between right and wrong was smeared when he was around.

"Spencer?" he said after a long pause.

"Sorry," she distractedly mumbled.

"Look, I got to go. Tiff, Sean, and I are going to our parents' for Sunday dinner-I know it's only 1, they eat early" he lightly said, a hint of laughter in his voice. "It was nice talking to you, I hope one day we can be friends."

"Me too." Spencer smiled, and in all honesty, she meant it.

"Goodbye Spencer."

"Goodbye Larson."

...

Right after Spencer left, Hanna was quick on her feet, picking up the plates on the table, and telling Noah, right after she handed him the promised cookie;_ "hurry kid, get out of here before your mom comes back and takes half of that cookie!"_ With that, Noah ran off, faster than the flash, to his room, leaving Hanna and Toby alone.

After Noah was gone, and the only other person left in the room was Hanna, Toby felt another awkward plague of silence come on.

Looking over to Hanna who was packing up the dishes, he decided he would help her. He picked up the cups on the table, bringing them to her.

"Thanks." She murmured without giving him a glance.

After Hanna was done loading the dishwasher, she looked up at him, a slightly flustered conflict in her eyes.

"What?" Toby asked.

"Why did you tell Spencer to take the call? You and I both know that we weren't talking about sandwiches, and besides I saw the way you looked at her."

"I want her to be happy" Toby told her.

She stood there staring at him, as if determining whether or not there was an alternative motive to his doings.

"You better not hurt them. I swear to God, I will destroy you, if you do." Hanna finally said, before departing down the hall.

And he sure as hell wasn't planning on it.

**Hi again, so yeah, nothing mUCH happened…but, hmm stay tuned…for next chapter? ;)**

**I'm close to wrapping it up though…maybe three or four more chapters! + an epilogue! So YEAH. Get ready.**


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24: Part One

His breath swept past her mouth, leaving sloppy kisses all along her neck. His breath hot and uneven; stifling almost. His mouth met back with hers in an instant, their electric lips sparking against one another at mere touch. Her lips were dynamite, and he was the match. The immediate impact of his lips on hers caused explosions—dangerous and treacherous, explosions. But, maybe that was the hidden factor of the utmost difficult equation regarding why she found him irresistible—she liked the danger; the challenge, although she would never be one to admit it. Regardless, the constant notion her mind created to stop her from being with him just made it all that more appealing.

His tongue traced the outskirts of her mouth, with her permission, his tongue roamed the depths of her oral cavity. She gripped at the nape of his neck, pulling out the tiny fibers of hairs settled on the back of his head.

She leaned into him more firmly, casting her hands down his back, and around to the front, her fingers working the buttons furiously off his shirt. Their mouths parted for a second to collect the oxygen their lungs so desperately strived for. She pushed his shirt off him, past his shoulders, her hands graciously running past his bicep and downwards. Still inches away—practically centimeters, she pulled off her own shirt, watching as his eyes scanned her body with a certain lust and awe that was only reserved for her.

He kissed her again after a moment, plummeting them both back down to the mattress beneath them. Her skin was boiling. She had no doubt that she was sizzling, frying Toby's lips as he graced her with melting kisses up and down her neckline. But, all at the same time she had goose bumps forming on her back.

His jeans grinded against her legs, and she had a burning desire for them to vanish—every ounce of her being wanting the pants to just disappear, and be replaced with his raw skin—leaving no layers between his skin and hers. In a flash, his jeans were off. And her clothes were gone too, now. There was nothing left to separate them. They were completely bare; revealing all they had.

She woke up, sweat dripping down her neck, and gathered on her forehead. She sat up, clutching the blankets to her chest. She looked around. She was clothed. There was no Toby, certainly not a naked Toby, nearby. It was dark—pitch dark. Her alarm clock read 4:56. It was just all just dream.

She let out a sigh of relief, as her head propped against the head board. _Itwasjustadreamitwasjustadre amitwasjustadream _she kept repeating to herself, but that didn't quite expiate the exceeding speed of her heart rate.

This wasn't her first dream _like that _she's had about him. She's actually been having a lot like those lately, well ever since a couple weeks ago when they started to hangout again.

Hanna seemed to take it…_well—_considering the circumstances. She no longer scowled his name, and interrogated him on the schemes of his life. It was a start. A slow, gradual start.

She understood why Hanna has her worries. She thinks she'll fall right back into his arms. But, Hanna is wrong. She has self control, she isn't just going to fall right back into his embrace. These dreams…were just dreams. Dreams don't mean anything.

After a few minutes of sitting there—catching her breath, and trying to convince herself, that dreams were stupid, and should not be taken seriously, she decided she needed a glass of water. Maybe that would help her nerves.

She tiptoed into the kitchen, being sure not to wake up Hanna—god forbid—or Noah.

She thought she was successful in doing so, but clearly she was wrong. When she turned around from filling her glass with water, there was Hanna, standing in front of her sporting a messy bun, and old pajama pants from high school.

She nearly dropped her water at the sight, her skin arising the same goose bumps that she just distinguished a few minutes ago.

"Hanna!" shrieked Spencer in a whisper.

Her free hand fled to cover her chest, as she caught her breath, for the umpteenth time in the past ten minutes. "Why are you up?"

"It's 5" replied Hanna, bumping past her to start the coffee machine. "I'm _always _up at 5 on the weekdays which is why I get so pissed at you when you are screaming at 8 in the morning on Sunday; usually my _only_ day off_._ Why are _you _up?" She turned around, leaning against the counter.

Spencer hesitantly spoke up. "Bad dream."

"Tell me about it, I had a dream that my dress came and it was two sizes too small."

Spencer forced a laugh.

"Well, I don't want to keep you up or anything—disturbing people from their sleep, what a sin" said Hanna dramatically.

Spencer rolled her eyes.

"Right" agreed Spencer "Even if it is only two hours, I need it."

She set her cup in the sink, and departed back to her room.

But, she didn't sleep.

She couldn't.

Her mind was too absorbed with Toby Cavanaugh to do so.

Everything with him. It was so much better. Literally everything.

With him in her life, it was just _better._

He changed her perspective on things.

Like back in high school—before everything went wrong, before they even dated, before she even stepped onto his porch on that fine Fall day, she had never wanted a family of any sorts—she didn't even want to get married.

She always looked down on marriage, and having children. Marriage didn't last. She didn't see the point. You could get divorced, or annulled; completely throwing away the "_promise_" you made. It was a waste of time and money. Marriage didn't mean _anything_. It was all for the vanity; the accessories that came with it.

Besides, even if marriage w_asn't _pointless, she didn't believe love could last that long; lifetimes worth. Love faded. It was an emotion. No emotion lasts forever. Every emotion goes away every now and then. When you're happy, you aren't always at your high, and when you're sad, you're not always at your low, that's just how it worked. Emotions altercated. Love was not an exception.

And as for family; bringing children into the world. Her rejection of this mostly came out of fear. Fear that she would be a horrible parent, fear that the awful world would bring them down—like it did her, fear that she would end up just like her parents—uncaring and always on the move; void of any ounce of unconditional love.

Then there was just the fact, again, that she didn't think you could love someone for a whole eternity. Love had an expiration date, and when it ran out, it rotted everything around it.

But, then she met Toby.

And he was an exception to these concepts she created for herself.

"_You don't have your day planned out yet? That's very un-Spencer Hastings like of you." He told her over the phone._

_She laughed in spite of herself. "Yeah, yeah I guess so. I mean I don't have classes today. I've finished all my homework already. I've organized and re-organized my desk. Hanna is off doing who knows what—she has some summer bucket list she wants to complete, Aria is in Maine with her mom and brother, and well, Emily's in Haiti…so. I don't know what to do with myself, really. I have nothing to do."_

"_Why don't you relax? You know something you probably need more of than the average human being."_

_She laughed again._

"_It would be easier if you were here, with me" she hummed into the phone._

"_I wish I was there too" his voice rang from the phone. "I miss you."_

"_I miss you too. When will you be back, again?" Spencer asked, although she knew. She doesn't forget anything especially not his coming home. She had it marked on her calendar. Two days. Two long, slow paced, days._

_She was happy that he was working, gathering money to shape up his loft, but she hated that he had to do it in another town._

"_Five days" he said, a hint of giddiness in his voice._

_Spencer's eyebrows furrowed in an instant, as she sat up on her bed, looking at the calendar parked on her wall. "What? No, you said you would be home on the 3rd! It's the 1rst! You are supposed to be coming back in two days!"_

_He laughed._

"_So, you did know? I knew you wouldn't just forget. I mean, you remember everything. You have a calendar programmed into your massive brain."_

_She laughed._

"_Okay, you caught me…I guess I was just…hoping you'd say you were coming home sooner" admitted Spencer, her voice meek, and soft. Suddenly, she remembered what he said. "But, of course, hope breeds eternal misery—you'll just be coming home later than originally planned." _

"_Ah, ah, ah. Don't be so quick to lose hope. Come downstairs" said Toby before hanging up without even saying goodbye._

_Spencer furrowed her eyebrows, glancing at the now CALL ENDED screen._

_She followed Toby's directions regardless of her confusion._

_Then she saw him in the window. He was bending down so he could be seen below the curtain, a goofy smile shining on his face._

_An instant smile took hold of her lips as she rushed over to the door, unlocking it so he could come in. The second he stepped foot in her house, her arms were locked around him, holding him in a tight embrace. She settled her head in the crook of his neck, and fell into his arms as she felt his sturdy arms circum her—steady her. He smelt like himself—an indescribable savory scent that only Toby Cavanaugh held; a mix of fresh laundry and new books. Her hands felt around his back, taking in the mold of his body, and the shape of his muscles. It felt like home._

_She pulled out of his embrace, after a few moments, and met his eyes. They were stunningly blue, the depths—endless, they succumbed into her, revealing everything he had to offer. He didn't have to say "I love you" or anything else for that matter, the message was already delivered._

"_Liar" she poked him gently in the chest._

_His lips curved up in a gentle grin "hoping for something doesn't always end badly." He told her._

_She rolled her eyes._

"_Fine, then I hope you make me a sandwich."_

"_Fine, I will."_

"_Fine" said Spencer, as he loosened from her grip. She didn't let his hand go though. Turning around, towards him, she said "But, not without a kiss."_

After tossing and turning the whole night through, Spencer had for what seems like the first time in her life, beat her living alarm clock—Noah. When he came running into her room, she was already up.

The Friday morning was rushed.

She packed Noah's snack (the kindergarten he attended didn't serve lunch, due to days being cut in half, leaving them with only being at school for three hours) and dressed him for the early November weather. Within the past couple weeks, the weather changed drastically, perhaps everything did, really.

Toby had become a consistency. Noah had learned him by name, face, and hell he even knew how to spell his name. He was becoming a big part of Noah's life and Spencer didn't know whether or not to stop it.

She knew Toby knew that Noah was his son. She knew it. He asked so many times, but each time she would wave it off—somehow bypass it. Although, ignoring the question basically was just confirming the truth of it. By now, Spencer could deliver some huge load of crap of who the real father was, and he would never believe it. They were too far in, too deep to come back from the knowledge that's entered his mind.

Spencer managed to drop off Noah at school earlier than usual—well she guessed it was because she didn't spend fifteen extra minutes in bed mumbling _give mommy five minutes, _but whatever—and spent an extra ten minutes in the local coffee shop.

She didn't even know why she chose to spend another round of minutes in the coffee shop, she just did. Perhaps it was the smell that planted her feet to the ground, or the hesitant step to the bitterly cold outside world stopping her. She didn't know. All she knew is if she had not stayed in that coffee shop ten minutes later than she did, maybe things wouldn't have wound up like they did.

The familiar voice—startled her to turn around. She was surprised she heard it, over the crowd of people, and the low music playing over the stereo. It wasn't too loud in the coffee shop, but it was just the fact that she could distinguish his voice from all the others, really.

"Toby" she walked up to him, after he grabbed his coffee from the young barista. "Good morning."

"Spencer," murmured Toby, a trace of a smile gracing his features "I would say I'm surprised to see you, but I'm not. This _is_ a coffee shop, of course."

She laughed.

"Touché"

He smiled. That smile that made your stomach do summersaults. That award winning smile that could transport you out of the Milky Way. That smile that made her despise him because it held so much control over her.

A half, sort of, smile twirled up on her lips.

"I have to go. I have class." Spencer told him, ending the short meeting before conversation even struck.

Just as she was about to turn around, depart from the biggest contributor to her oh so many downfalls, she heard him say "Wait, Spencer. Could I stop by later?"

She studied him for a short second before she answered his most awaited yes.

"Yeah, sure."

And with that, her whole day fell into its fate.

Everything continued as normal. She went to school. She got her text from Emily that she dropped off Noah at daycare. She went to work at 12, after her classes, and spent four hours repeating the phrase of "_have a nice day"_ and "_that'll be (insert amount of money here)"_. It was a normal day, really. Nothing happened which was out of the ordinary. She didn't expect that the night would be any different.

After work she had gone to pick up Noah from day care. He was ecstatic to see her, or perhaps he was just excited to go home, she didn't really know, so she just went with the first one.

The whole ride home he went on and on about how his classmate, Joey, had come out in just his underwear from the bathroom. The little boy found it unbelievably hilarious, and Spencer had to admit it did arise a few chuckles.

When they got home, Noah went off to his bedroom to play with his toys while Spencer did her big whopping mountain of laundry (so, it wasn't _that _big, but the normal pile of laundry was a mountain in Spencer's eyes). Spencer had one of the nicer apartments, one with a washer and dryer, courtesy of her parents of course. They were pretty helpful on some retrospect, well anything that involved money that is.

As the day passed and the laundry became clean, she began to wonder when Toby was going to call her. Not that she was waiting by her phone or anything—but she certainly was pulling out her phone more than usually that afternoon to check for any missed calls or texts. As afternoon transgressed into evening, she began to ponder (fret to the infinite power) why he wasn't calling. Had he just forgotten? Was he blowing her off?

She supposed she could _call him_. It wasn't that she was aboard the ship of formulaic girls, who followed the stereotype that guys should be the ones to call — she thought that was complete bull shit, but this wasn't any guy, he didn't apply to normal circumstances, this was _Toby_. The only exception for all the rules she had created in her head. He broke so many of those rules, that she had to create a rule book for him, and him alone. One of the rules being that she wouldn't be the one to call him first ( this rule was added, along many others, when he recruited back into her life) and she wasn't planning to break it.

Well_, _her plans always seemed to take on a mind of their own.

"_So, tell me, if I __**did **__have plans, what would have you done? Expect me to drop them all for you?" asked Spencer. She was mostly joking, but in a way she was curious too. Toby wasn't the spontaneous person she knew, but he also wasn't like her; he did things that were unexpected, at the most random times. She didn't quite get this trait of his. He just __**did **__things without even thinking about the possibilities. It was all a strange bizarre thing to her, really. She didn't like the unexpected, well in most cases that is, but in a case involving Toby Cavanaugh…that was a different story; he was an exception. Their whole relationship was unexpected; a surprising plot twist marked upon their lives. _

_He shrugged it off lightly, obviously not putting much thought into his answer "Luckily you didn't" said Toby, an innocent smile settling on his features. _

_She opened her mouth to talk, but no words came out, instead there was a piece of a banana coming in. Toby had nearly smashed it on her face. _

_She chewed the banana fully, before talking. _

_He was laughing._

_And although she didn't want to laugh, she did. "Trying to make me choke?!" she spat out through her laughter._

_He continued to chuckle._

"_I guess I was just looking for an excuse to give you mouth to mouth."_

"_You only give mouth to mouth if the heimlich maneuver doesn't work, and the person isn't breathing" said Spencer, matter-of-factly. "And that's very morbid of you, by the way."_

_He laughed._

_Spencer smiled._

_He shrugged innocently, his eyes falling on the sandwich he made on the table—peanut butter with bananas. He pushed the plate over to her._

"_You aren't going to surprise gag me with it?" She pulled the plate towards her, their hands ever-so-slightly brushing against each other._

_He rolled his eyes, but his smiled stayed within the threshold of his face, nonetheless. "I'm sorry" he faux apologized._

"_The hell you are!" shouted Spencer, picking up her sandwich to take a long awaited bite. As her taste buds met the famous combination of peanut butter and banana, she let out a pleasurable moan._

_Toby smiled in success in front of her, and she looked at him while chewing, and while the mix of bananas and peanut butter swam down her throat and he stood there, smiling at her, like she was the utmost majestic creature in all the lands, and it was right then and there that she decided she could love him forever. She could be with him for an eternity, and it wouldn't be long enough. That the chance of their fates not aligning terrified her entirely—that she never wanted to have to say goodbye, she never wanted to part ways, or put a finish to what they had. Because they couldn't distinguish what they had. They would never be able to. Because what they had was real, true, genuine love. Not the kind of love you see in movies; the kind that only stretches out till the credits, but real love. True love. A love that was everlasting. A love that lived on past the credits and would last till the end of time. Her whole dynamic of life changed in that moment. That small moment, that frivolous moment in the patch work of time—it changed her whole way of thinking._

_She wanted to marry him. Be with him forever. _

_The thought of doing anything else just felt utterly wrong. The idea of being with anyone else felt immoral, and the chance of Toby loving anyone else, holding anyone else, brushing his lips against anyone else's, and even making a dumb peanut butter and banana sandwich for anyone else made her want to hold him and never let go. _

_Toby must have seen the falter in her eyes because he was now narrowing his eyes on her, his eyebrows furrowed ever so slightly. "Are you okay?"_

_By this time, all bits of the sandwich she had put in her mouth a few seconds ago were making their way to her digestive system. "I'm fine" hummed Spencer, her voice light and sweet like a cool summer breeze in the mid of august._

_She didn't bother to change her expression. She knew what she must have looked liked. Spellbound; love struck. Her expression was so easy to read, unlike usual. But, she didn't bother to change it. She **wanted **him to know how she felt. _

_He kept staring at her. His expression stayed put._

"_I'm just __**really**__ happy you came home early." She softly told him, resting her hands on his._

_Looking down, he curled his thumb over hers. He stared at their intertwined hands for a couple seconds before he looked up again. _

"_Me too" said Toby, looking at her now. _

_His expression matched hers._

After awhile, _a long while_, as in Noah was in bed, sleeping. It was 9. They ate dinner. She did the dishes. Hanna came home, going on about how much she hates being an owner of a bakery and swearing she would sell it (she would never). And after all that, after it was obvious that she would not be seeing Toby today, she decided to call him.

She sat in her room, alone. Hanna was in her own room, probably already asleep. Noah was tucked in. The clock read 9:04. With a huff, she called him.

On the third ring, he picked up.

Unlike usual, he didn't immediately say "_Spencer"_. He didn't even say hi. The line was silent.

"Hello?" said Spencer in sort of a questioning tone.

"Hey" replied Toby.

"Um, so, I guess your plans changed?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah." She could hear him gulp through the phone. He sounded…weird. Unsure of himself, almost. "I'm sorry." He didn't sound very sincere.

The line went silence once more.

Spencer didn't know what to say. She didn't know what was wrong. He had been so dedicated to her. But, now, it was like he didn't even care. He didn't even bother to make up an excuse.

"Oh" said Spencer, unsure of what to respond with.

He didn't reply.

"So I guess I'll talk to you whenever, then" declared Spencer, her tone laced with a coldness and annoyance. "Goodnigh—"

"Wait, Spencer." He sighed. She stilled her thumb from hitting the end button. "I have a legitimate reason for blowing you off. I'm sorry. Just it totally slipped my mind…so much has happened in the past few hours." He sighed once more. Suddenly his tone was ranging from exhaustion to sadness. "My dad is in the hospital. I—"

She cut him off.

"Is he okay?"

"Yeah, he's fine. As of now, anyways."

"What happened?"

"He, uh, had a heart attack" she heard him say. While his voice was solid, it was filled with gloom. The last Spencer knew was that Toby didn't exactly have a great relationship with his father, but that didn't make him any less his father. He already lost his mother, and she couldn't imagine the strain on him at the scare of losing his father too.

"I'm so sorry, Toby" said Spencer, genially.

"Luckily, he's okay now." Spencer could feel the holding back of emotions, even through the phone. "He has to stay the night, but he'll be home by tomorrow—so says the nurses."

There was a pause.

"…are you okay?"

He was hesitant. There was another moment of silence between them. Spencer had a feeling that whatever was going to come out of mouth next would be a lie.

"I'm fine."

It was so obviously a lie.

She knew him too well, and for too long, to believe that.

"Toby…" she softly said.

It was probably the first time, in a long time, that her voice did that; softened and heightened to a higher pitch.

"I'll be fine."

"I don't believe you."

He sighed "yeah, you probably shouldn't."

There was a pause.

"Do you want to come over?"

Spencer felt like it was irrational; irresponsible more so. It was 9 at night. She had work the next day. Early the next day. She would need to be getting up in 8 hours. Her best friend _and son_ were asleep. It was a bad idea, clearly, but she couldn't let Toby sulk alone.

She felt horrible.

Here she was, cursing his name and being pissed at him, for his father having a heart attack.

She felt obliged to comfort him.

He was hesitant, but he answered with a yes. With that, the two ended the phone conversation, and would soon start a conversation that would pull on every string of their beings.

_**Hi guys so **_

_**I've decided to put this chapter in two parts.**_

_**Originally, I had it all mapped out.**_

_**It was all going to be in this chapter. But, what I have in store would be another 4000 words (well probably), and I'm already at 4000 so….yeah.**_

_**Let's just say that the next part of this chapter is something that you have all been waiting for ;)**_

_**Thanks for the awesome, lovely, reviews!**_

_**Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee leave more, and reassure me that I'm not just posting a bunch of shit that like 3 people are reading lol. Ok thank you nonetheless !**_

_**Love, **_

_**Caitlin **_

**Jk I'm still here. I don't normally do this because I think it's dumb to demand reviews because like WELL it's like forced love I guess? But okay I need MOTIVATION to write the next part of the chapter because I get so lazy and things. But I **_**HATE **_**breaking promises. So if this gets 15 reviews, by let's say, in 24 hours. So at 330am (it's like 230am right now but I'm still writing it and I still need to revise so yeah) east coast USA time tomorrow, then I'll have the chapter up by…hm Monday (maybe sooner). JJJ** **(I would say Sunday, but it's Easter guysss I have obligations to fulfill) **

**And if I don't' get 15 reviews within the next 24 hours then I'll still try to update by Monday but it's not definite and shit! So write a review so I feel like I owe it to you all and feel obligated to finish the next part, pleaseeeeeeeeeeeee J. **

**BUT I'll try. Anyways, I just need a motivation!**

**Sorry this A/N was so long omg**


	25. Chapter 25

**Hi guys! Okay, so can I just say **_**WOW **_**you guys are just, seriously, the most amazing readers ever? I asked for 15, and I got double that! Seriously, I don't deserve any of the lovely comments! You guys are just so wonderful, it's insane, and I tried sooooo hard to get this up yesterday, but I was sooo busy, and I was up till like 3 writing it, and I was so tired, and it was just becoming shit, so I stopped! You guys are incredible, and I feel like you deserve a lot more than this chapter because I feel like this is poorly written, I apologize L! You guys have been the best readers ever, and I want to hug every single one of you. Thank you for the love and support, and wow, I just adore each one of you, which just makes it harder to say this: I'm going on vacation for the rest of the week, and then school starts so I have no clue when I can update next L I'm sorry! I suck so much, I know! It might be a month, my grades are sooo bad, it's horrible, and I'm not going to have a laptop on my vacation, so I can't really **_**do **_**anything! L L L**

**I suck!**

**But, I hope you'll enjoy this chapter/second part (even though it's soooo bad omg, I'm sorry)**

Chapter 24: Part Two

He came over in a matter of minutes. He didn't live too far away, but he sure seemed to get here faster than it usual takes. She supposed it was because it was later than usual, but then again it was only 9 so maybe he _was_ just being reckless—ignoring the speed limit. She hoped for the first option. She didn't put much thought into it though.

She gestured for him to come into her apartment, and he did. Neither said a word. He wouldn't even look at her in the eye. Spencer felt the urge to wrap him in her arms, and stay like that till night passed and morning arose, but no, she couldn't. Things were weird between them—fragile, and she feared a hug would be pushing it. Or perhaps she was just being over paranoid, his father was just hospitalized, he _deserved _the comfort. But, in the end she decided to keep their space, leaving her arms at her sides, far away from the higher arch of his back.

"Sit down, make yourself at home" she told him, gesturing to the couch, smacking her lips together, causing her cheeks to puff out. He did as he was told, not saying a word about it. Spencer let out a tiny sigh, so tiny and small, that Toby couldn't have possibly heard it. "Do you want any coffee?"

After he registered what she said—there was so much on his mind right now—he gave her a strange look. "Spencer," he began, his voice low, and concerned "it's almost 930 at night" said Toby, his tone questionable, but it came out as a statement—that was clear.

"Decaf" she filled him in.

"Oh" said Toby, dumbfounded. "Sure then, I guess" mumbled the man who took the seat on the couch.

Spencer spent five minutes by the coffee machine, taking slower than usual to brew a pot of coffee. She was sort of stalling, in a sense. She didn't know what to say. She didn't know how to comfort him, or perhaps she did, but she didn't know if that would be over stepping the boundaries of their new found friendship. She didn't regret inviting him over, that wasn't the case, she just wished things could be different. She wished she could emphasize with him the way she could in high school, but things were different now. They were different.

"_Is something wrong?" asked Spencer. They had spent most of the day together, and everything seemed perfect. Any occasion with Toby was perfect though, she didn't expect this time to be any different. But, then all of sudden he started to act strange. It seemed to start after he got a text around 30 minutes ago._

_He sighed. Not looking at her, he said "It's just my dad…and step mom" replied the boy, his voice indifferent. "It's stupid, but it just BUGS me." He let out an aggressive sigh. "They're just so…selective with their attention and love and— it shouldn't bug me, but it does."_

_She gave him an empathetic look. She knew EXACTLY how he felt. Her parents were just like Toby's. She rested her hand on his, and looked up at him. Their eyes just stayed in contact for a brief minute, before she piped up a word. "What happened?" asked Spencer, her voice soft, and caring. It wasn't like those people—those people who changed their voice and the framing of their lips to form a frown, and PRETENEDED to care, no she actually did. She genially cared. _

"_I was planning to…take you out to dinner with them, and…" he shook his head at the thought. "It doesn't even matter. They texted me a few minutes ago—texted me, not even called, and told me they were visiting Jenna at band camp or where ever the hell she is, instead." He let out another sigh, but this time it was a defeated one; one that cried out for help and comfort. "I just don't know—I wish Jenna just wasn't the child prodigy for once."_

"_Toby…" her voice rang quietly, as she scooted the closest she could to him. "I'm sorry."_

"_No, I'm sorry." He counteracted. "My parents are assholes" he muttered under his breath, turning away. _

"_You don't have to apologize. I understand, it's not like my parents are any better." She told him, toying with his hand in hers. "I know that this doesn't change much…but, for the record I would never do that to you. I would be doing the complete opposite, in all honesty" she looked down for a second, and when she looked back up, he was staring at her. "I would drop anything for you."_

_A trace of a smile framed his lips. "You're wrong, it changes everything." He told her taking her other hand in his. _

_Before she could even say anything in return, he continued "if we ever had kids one day, we won't be like our parents. We won't screw our kids over, repeatedly."_

_Spencer liked the sound of that. The way he say **we **instead of I, implying that if he did have kids that she would be the one who birthed them and she just liked the idea that she wouldn't be like her parents, that she would love her future children, unconditionally._

_If she only knew how close she was till that "if" became definite._

A few short minutes later, Spencer was sitting beside Toby, on the floral designed couch, passing him the cup of coffee to him, their fingers ever so slightly brushing against one another. A jolt of electricity shot through her at the impact. Their fingers barely touched, but yet it felt like he had electrified her whole body.

They stayed quiet for a minute.

"So, he's okay now?" asked Spencer, hesitantly, her fingers toying with the ladle of the cup. Her eyes were glued to the cup. She couldn't look at him for whatever reason—she wouldn't. Maybe she was just avoiding his eye contact because she didn't want to see the hurt in his eyes, she didn't really know, but she didn't dare to peer up at him.

"Apparently" answered Toby, indifferently.

She didn't want to press, but she knew he was holding back. Even though five years had gone by without her seeing him, she still knew him best out of anyone. She knew all his secrets, and all the parts of his atrocious past. She knew better than to believe he was actually okay.

"Have you guys…gotten closer in the past five years?"

This time she looked at him.

He shook his head, his eyes dropping to his own cup of coffee. His eyebrows were ceased and his persona was stiff; he was so obviously holding back more. "I mean that doesn't make it any less hard, you know? I just—I don't know. I barely speak to him anymore; he doesn't try to communicate with me _at all._ He never did. Even when I moved out of that house, he only talked to me, let alone saw me, every couple months. And _I _would be the one to make the first move." He shook his head, and she swore he was going to stop there, but he continued. "When I got that call from my step mom…" his hazy eyes had dazed away into the unknown abyss filled with raw emotion and depress. She wanted so badly to come down and scoop him back into the light. But, she didn't do _anything. _She just waited there for him to go on. "…I didn't know how bad it was. Or if he…" he heaved a breath, straightening his posture in the process. His breathing was abnormally fast and heavy and she knew he was struggling not to cry. She was familiar with the signs of someone who was holding back tears—she had the signs engraved in the back of her head. She had spent so many times holding back tears, swallowing the lump in her throat, blinking frantically to wash away the tears in her eyes; she knew _exactly _what it looked like when someone else was doing so.

She set her coffee cup down on the coffee table in front of them, next she took Toby's from his grip, he glanced at her with dazzled eyes at first, but when her hands replaced the coffee cup's hold, his face softened.

She rubbed her thumb softly along his knuckles. Her hands were so soft, and warm. And although the coffee cup had a higher temperature, her hands just felt so much warmer, _so much better_.

They sat there for a minute, staring at each other. The corners of his eyes were layered with tears; droplets stuck between the crinkle of his eyes resisting to fall down. "It's okay…you don't have to hold it in" she meekly told him, the copper of her eyes glinting with a sincerity and honesty, that showed how much she _did care_. She wasn't pretending because she _had to. _She, really, really, truly, cared.

And maybe that was it. The thing that pushed him over the edge, but the next thing she knew he was bowing his head down, possibly in shame, and letting out a soft, compressed, sob.

She couldn't take it any longer—seeing him in this much agony. It hurt her. Maybe, before she wanted revenge; not even revenge, but for him to feel all the pain she caused him. But, she was just angry. Bitter. Now, seeing like _this,_ all she wanted to do was make it better. He did not deserve any more pain than he already had.

Her hands left his, and met the upper arch of his back; wrapping him into a tight embrace. He buried his head into her shoulder, and that's where he kept it, for a long while.

Her hands combed through hair on the back of his head as he left stains of his pain on her shirt. They sat like that for a long time; embraced and tangled in one another. The clocked in her mind stopped. Everything in her life seemed to be put on hold in that moment; all so she could comfort the one she would never stop loving.

After awhile, it was he who came out of the embrace. His eyes were slightly puffed, and corners faded into a pink, sort of, color.

"I'm sorry" rasped Toby, immediately. In an instant, his weak hands wiped his eyes, trying to dismiss the left over dews of tears, and release the dry, stinging, pain that the tears had left for him. He shook his head mostly to himself.

"You don't have to apologize…" she told him. "You _shouldn't_ be apologizing."

He glanced up at her "Thank you."

An almost, sort of, half smile settled on her face "I didn't really do anything…" murmured Spencer. And it was true. She didn't _say _anything _that _helpful. She didn't fix the problem. She didn't do anything that was worthy of any gratitude at all, really.

He shook his head again, rotating his eyes to the barely sipped coffee on the coffee table in front of them. Except this time there was new angle on his lips—the corner of his mouth was motioning upward, in what seemed to be an almost smile. A dry chuckle escaped his mouth. She couldn't tell whether it was dark or sincere.

"What?"

"Nothing" murmured the man, a certain hum about his voice.

"Toby…" urged the woman, leaning in closer to get a better look at his face.

"It's just..." he looked at her now "I—don't think you get how much of an impact you have on everything…you always have had this thing about you, where you could just make everything better…for awhile, anyways. And you never seemed to get it."

She looked at him in awe, her mouth falling ajar; her eyes gleaming with admiration and astonishment that she was capable of such a thing. What he said…it had such a strong power. It was so much. It was just a sentence, but she felt overwhelmed at the statement. She dropped their eye contact after a moment, fearing if she looked any longer, something may transgress between the two.

But, she didn't tell him to leave. She didn't say "_it's getting late, and you should probably go…" _; she didn't say what she _probably _should have.

"Why even put up with me?" he looked at her after what seemed like an eternity of silence "I did _so many _terrible things…I deserve to be alone."

She wasn't going to deny him of these awful things he spoke off because well he was right—they _were _terrible. But, that didn't mean he deserved to be alone, to be hurt, _to be broken. "_You don't deserve it though…I still care about you, I always will, Toby."

He looked at her. She couldn't really read him all too well. There were so many mixed emotions floating in the orbits off his eyes that it was hard to tell what he was thinking.

He didn't respond. He didn't stay looking at her for too long either; he dropped his head down, his eyes once again distant from the happenings of their surroundings. A few seconds passed by, and she didn't know _why _she was saying this. She wasn't really thinking at all, really. Mostly, she figured he already knew. He's known for a long time. And whether or not that was a good thing, it didn't change the fact. He's been so patient with her, and understanding on how far her trust could go for him. He's done all he could. He's tried to fix all that he had broken. And she almost felt like he deserved to know; deserved to hear her say it _out loud. _

"You probably already know this…I'm positive you do…" she stifled a breath. "But, I don't know. I guess I'm finally answering your question…" she could feel him looking at her, but she didn't meet his eyes—she couldn't. With a gulp she spoke up "Noah's dad is…you. You're his dad, Toby." confessed Spencer, her voice timid and weak. She looked up at him as the word "_dad" _slipped her mouth. He was completely focused on her, but his expression barely changed, only his eyes flickered to something unfamiliar.

He was in a trance, sort of thing. Spencer guessed he was trying to digest it, but it's not like it was a huge surprise to him. But, she supposed it was all just imaginary before to him—it was not definite, and now it was.

He looked away suddenly, turning his head down "are you just telling me this out of pity?" his voice seemed angry almost; aggravated.

That was _not_ the reaction she was hoping for.

"No!" cried out Spencer, sort of annoyed in a way that he would even suggest that.

"Then why?" asked Toby, turning his head towards her, meeting her eyes once more. "Why tell me now? Why didn't you tell me all those other times I asked? Why right now—tonight?"

"I—" she began expecting an explanation to just roll off her tongue, but nothing came out "don't know."

"_Exactly_"

"It's not out of pity! I just…_I don't know_" fought Spencer, her voice tightening with rage on the last three words. She heaved an aggressive breath. "Look, I'm sorry you think I'm telling you out of _pity_, which _I'm not—_this isn't just something you tell someone because you feel bad for them, Toby!"

She took inhaled a breath to calm down.

"Whatever way I told you, or when or whatever! I am still telling _you_. I'm telling you that he's your son, and your only reaction is an accusing me of telling you out of _pity_!" She spat out the sentence in disgust, her furious eyes darting into his. "What the hell on earth is wrong with you? Jesus, just go. I shouldn't have told you."

"How do you expect me to react, Spencer? _Happy_? Happy that I missed out on four years of my son's life? That I didn't get to hold him as a baby, and see his first steps and hear his first word _and just watch him grow up_? And you know whose fault that is? _Mine. _It's my entire fucking fault, and—" his voice broke lastly. His head fell into his hand, his fingers frantically combed through his watt of hair. His trembling breathing echoed off the walls and hymned into her ears. She had an idea that he was once again breaking down, and while the last time he casted a gloom onto her, this time he broke her heart, all over again.

She never thought of it from Toby's point of view. She didn't think about all the events that Toby had lost out on. She always thought of it from her point of view—or from Noah's. She didn't think once about his perspective once.

She was so narrow-minded; she just wanted to smash her head against the coffee table.

And then she just sat there, like the bitch she is, and let him break down in front of her. She didn't stop it, or even try to. She just sat there, so absorbed in her own thoughts that she didn't even notice when he picked his head up.

"I'm sorry that I didn't react the way you wanted me too… I just" he sniffled, his eyes looking around the room, like there was something much more interesting than her, hidden in the shadows "it's just _so _much" his voice, once again, wavered. His knuckles shook against the mid air, and his mouth was dropped to a heavy frown. "And I've thought about it _so _much. And I dug myself into some huge hole of utter disaster and just depressed the shit out of myself. And it's not that I'm not happy he's my son, I am. I love him, so much, and it's so crazy because just the second I saw him—I just had a feeling, and I just loved him since. And it's so insane because I've only known the kid for a couple months, but I don't know—I just would do anything for the little guy."

He stopped for a minute. He was completely gone now. Off in some whole other _dimension_.

She sat there waiting for him to continue, and she couldn't crop the frown off her mouth. She felt so horrible. And it may be Toby's fault, in a way, but she felt guilty. She felt _oh so_ guilty. And she just wished things could be different. That they could just all be together, and have their own happily ever after. But, she knew that couldn't happen. They were too far into the ending of dysfunction and despair to turn things around.

"When I first came here, found out about Hanna's bakery, I was just coming here for reassurance that _you were okay." _He looked at her, putting a certain emphasis on the last three words, perhaps to get across the importance of his voyage. "And I was sure you would be. I was so _sure _you would be. Because you are strong, you are _so _strong. It's crazy, how invincible you are, Spencer. And I don't think you understand that either, _how strong you are_. But, _you are. _And I remember you once told me I was your _safe place to land_, but you don't need that. You don't need a safe place to land Spencer, because you can do it _all_ on your own. You can take on the weight of the world, and not even _complain."_

"I'm not like that. I'm not as strong as you. I never will be. And I guess in some ways, I came here for me. I came here to see that you indeed were doing okay, and living perfectly okay without me, and then just maybe I could do the same. I could finally just _let you go _and try and move on. I could be okay because you would be okay. I could stop being some pathetic guy who couldn't let go off the past and move on with my life."

"But, then I saw you with a little boy, who called you _mommy _and just looked—like I don't know. Like a combination of us, and who was probably around the age of 4. And I don't know. I just—everything changed. All my motives; all my sense of moving on. I had to see if my assumptions were right. I just had to know. And then I was _positive_ that he was. I was so sure. And I just had to hear you say it. You had to confirm it. And now that _you have_; I don't want to leave, ever. I want to be with you, and him, and I want to stay with you forever. And watch him bring home A's because it's obvious that he will, it's in his DNA, he's _your son. _And watch him score a homerun at his first baseball game—or watch him score a goal at whatever sport he wants to play, hell he doesn't even have to play a sport, I don't really care—and watch him meet some girl who he'll fall for and want to marry and be with forever—or boy! I don't really care because it doesn't matter. I'll just love the kid no matter what. I just want watch him grow up, and learn about the world, and I just want to be there for _everything_."

A smile was on her face now; a big hopeful smile that stretched to her ears.

But it slowly faded, along with his.

They both had the same thoughts; it didn't work that way. They couldn't just move on from here and become a happy little family that resembled the ones in folk tales. It wasn't that easy.

She didn't know what to say. She was so unsure of what was going to happen next. She didn't know what she wanted. She didn't know how she wanted to continue on after this. They couldn't just transgress back into their normal lives after tonight. Everything had changed. There was so much revealed; the ultimate emotional revelation transpired! Tomorrow would come, and they couldn't just act the same; hang around each other in an awkward suppression of feelings and emotions. No, it was all so different.

She felt overwhelmed—and tired, kind of. She didn't even know what time it was, but she could tell it was late by the way her head throbbed.

But, even being tired and overwhelmed and unsure of how they would leave things from here, she didn't tell him to go. She didn't ask him to leave. And she didn't say _maybe you should go. _No, she said something else entirely.

"I know it's not the same thing, or it won't really replace all the things you missed out on, but it might help a little" began Spencer. He looked at her, curiosity fuming in his eye sockets. "I have some videos and pictures and stuff on my laptop…I could show them to you."

His eyes lit up at the notion. His lips molded up into a smile, the corners of his lips forming an indisputable smile "I'd like that."

She came back minutes later, with her laptop secure in her arms. While passing the kitchen she saw a glimpse of the clock—11:09. It was getting late, and she was tired, not to mention she had to get up in a measly 7 hours—7 and a half if she was pushing it. But, she decided to screw it. Which was very much unlike her, but then again, it was Toby. When he was involved there was always some sort of rule broken.

She sat next to him. Very close to him. So close that their thighs slightly touched, and their arms hit against each other as they both struggled under the awkward tension to be comfortable.

"Okay, just hold on" she told him, trying to void of the obviously awkward arrangement they were in. "I need to log on." She told him as she waited for her laptop to turn on. _God damn it why the hell is this piece of junk so slow_ she thought to herself as it finally turned on, the little symbol of Microsoft popping up.

"Sorry," mumbled Spencer under her breath.

"Its fine" he replied.

A few moments passed and_, finally_, she is signed into her account. She searched her files for pictures and videos. To start the marathon of Noah, and all his inhabitance off, she pulled up a folder labeled _Noah _and then two folders popped up_: pictures_ and _videos_.

"I don't really have any videos of Noah when he was like only a few weeks old, really. I only have like one, if that. So, if we are going to do this in chronological order then we should probably start with the pictures."

"Sure" agreed Toby.

She clicked the _pictures _folder, and then dozens of more folders popped up. The labels were all in weeks, and months, and years.

"Wow, this is really efficient" commented Toby.

"Did you really expect anything less coming from me?" asked Spencer, giving him the slightest over a smirk before clicking on the very first photo labeled "_0-12wks."_

He smiled to himself at the statement.

"So, anyways." She cleared her throat, readjusting the position laptop on her lap. "This is me, obviously, and Noah on the day he was born. July 16th 2012" said Spencer, an almost hum to her voice. She continued on to the next picture after a moment. It was just a picture of Noah this time, in a plastic cradle at the hospital. "He was born around 7 am. I was in labor for like 16 hours, god it was awful, but well worth it." Her statement ended lightly, a hint of a smile traced upon her features.

She continued to the next photo, and glanced at Toby. He looked fully intrigued, so engrossed with the picture in front of him that he probably didn't even notice Spencer staring. It was a picture of her once again, holding infant Noah, but this time her friends were surrounding her. "He was pretty big; 7 pounds, 12 ounces. And now he's all tall for his age as I'm sure you've noticed—you aren't bored off me talking are you? I promise I won't give a whole entire analyze of each picture as we go along." She looked at him. Usually, whenever she talked about Noah this much, people would sigh, and groan, and roll their eyes. But, Toby didn't. And she guessed it was because the circumstances were different. He _wanted_ to know this all.

He shook his head "no, keep talking" he smiled.

They continued through the photos, and Spencer told him everything that there was to know about Noah. They went through the next few folders of pictures and so on. She had _a lot!_ Hundreds. It would most positively take a whole night's worth to get through.

Once they reached a certain point in looking through the pictures, Spencer announced that they should go through the video folders because she had said she had some videos where he was a few months old. She pulled up a folder labeled _first year _and it only contained a little less than a dozen videos, but Toby was glad for them. She pressed play, and then it began.

The first video they watched was a video of Noah when he was just a few weeks old. Hanna was holding Noah, and she looked as if she didn't know she was being recorded. When she looked up that was confirmed.

"_Are you taping me? Spencer!" _screeched the young Hanna in the video.

"_I'm trying to capture memories!" _

"_Of what? He's sleeping!" _

Most of the video continued with them bantering. She continued through the videos. There was one taken on Halloween, and he was dressed as pumpkin. It wasn't exactly _original, _but it didn't really matter because the little boy looked adorable.

By the time they got on the fifth video, Spencer's most successful video of all time, as she called it, it was 2 am. But, both were wide awake as ever, not even paying attention to the clock.

They watched as the younger Spencer called out to her son to come towards her (Hanna was recording.) The eight-month-old-Noah with a mop of lighter shade of hair than he had now was standing a few steps away from her, looking at her like she was completely insane. She had a bag of cheerios in her hand, and was holding one out for him, flaunting it off like it was treat, and he was a puppy. The boy looked at the cheerio, and had a look of determination on his face. In a matter of seconds of Spencer encouraging him to come towards her and take the cheerio; he took the step. There was glee all around, and then he took, another, and another. He took the cheerio from her, and then fell to the ground. Spencer had picked him up with an indigenous bright smile on her face, spinning him around, and chanting "you did it, you did it!" over and over again, the words overlapping each other to an extent.

Toby didn't even realize, but there were silent tears cascading down his face. He didn't know how long he had been crying, but it was most certain it had been for awhile.

Spencer had looked at him and there were tears in her eyes too. He didn't catch her stare until the video went dead. He glanced at her, not bothering to wipe his eyes.

Their faces were so close, so very close, definitely the closest they have been in the last five years. They were so close, that she could see all the veins and patterns in his sapphire eyes. She didn't know what willed her to do so, but she snaked her hand up to wipe at the droplet boarding right under his cheek bone. Her hand had settled onto the side of his face, her thumb gently rubbing against his sideburns.

He gulped, and so did she.

Her timid eyes fell onto his mouth, and her lips—as if playing follow the leader—fell into his lips too. Both her hands were cupped around his face now, leaving her laptop to fend for its self. Her lips stayed there for a second, just planted next to his. His lips were soft, and plump, and familiar, and great. She brushed her lips against him, and tugged on them gently. It was all slow, so very slow. Or maybe she thought it was slow, maybe the clocks had all stopped ticking in that moment, but whatever it was. It all seemed very slow, and fragile. He kissed her back after a second, and she could feel his hand holding onto the back of her head. She didn't know when it got there, she was too lost in the passionate kiss to recall. Her whole body felt numb, but shaken at the same time. It was a paradox, really. So many things were contradicting themselves in the role of nature, but it was all happening at once. Her tongue voyaged through the field of his mouth, and her unsteady hands traveled to chest. She felt overwhelmed and shaken and unsteady, but she wanted more. Why would anyone want these feelings? She didn't know. She felt like she couldn't breathe, but she didn't want to release the breath that he had given her; a breath that filled her with so much power, but took away all her strength at the same time. She didn't want to release his lips, but she had too.

Once her lips came out of contact with his, and her lungs were fulfilled with the oxygen they _oh so_ desperately strived for, all sense of everything, all the sense that she had lost within the kiss, came back. She jolted away from him, the laptop in her hands almost falling to the ground.

She closed the laptop, and stood up from the couch, but a little too fast at that. She lost her sense of balance, and her eyes went black. And even when her sense of balance and the light in her eyes rushed back, she still felt dizzy. Possibly still hung over from the kiss they shared.

"You should go" rushed out, the still shaken, Spencer. Her voice was in a panic, and her face was scrunched up to the fullest extent. Her flustered eyes were hard, but flustered at the same time. Her bottom lip was being devoured under her teeth, and her arms were secure around her laptop, almost as if she was using it as a shield.

He stood up after a moment, looking as lost as she was. After a second of trying to find his voice he murmured out an urgent "_sorry._"

She knew it wasn't his fault. She kissed _him_. _He_ was the vulnerable one here, _not her_. But, her head was rushing so badly that she just had to get him out. "Just go, _please_" hissed Spencer, her copper eyes begging him to do as she told.

He looked as if he wanted to say something—provide his case, but he didn't. He just sighed, and did what she asked.

She watched him leave, and once he was out the door, she collapsed onto the couch. Setting her laptop aside, her head fell into her hands. She clenched her hair with her shaky fingers, and let out a muffled groan. Whatever step they had to take after this, however they were supposed to go on after tonight, she knew this _was not_ it.

Now everything was just more complicated than ever, and she didn't know how to fix _any_ off it.

**APRIL FOOLS!1 I'M NOT GOING ON ANY VACATION, SO I'LL BE UPDATING MORE THIS WEEK, PROBABLY SOON! C: HAHAHAHAH SORRY I HAD TO! WELL I HOPE YOU GUYS DON'T HATE ME.**

**BUT, I WAS NOT KIDDING ABOUT THIS CHAPTER SUCKING…JFC**

**BUT I ASK YOU TO LEAVE A RESPONSE AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! CONSTRUCTIVE CRITISM IS NICE, AND I JUST WANT TO HEAR WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY**

**Also OK I think I'm going to back into this writing style_: "I got you flowers" Spencer said, _instead of "_I got you flowers" said Spencer, _I think it flows so much better. SPEAK NOW OR FOREVER HOLD YOUR PEACE ON WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT THAT**

**Also this chapter was sooo long 5500 words OMG so yeah, it was a good choice to split it in a half, I think so anyways.**

**But, anyways! Please leave me a review, I adore reading them. It's such a good feeling I just fdsnfsuandes**

**Thank you all for the amazing encouragement! You all are so great!**

**p.s. god this chapter was written so poorly, i should just stOP**

**lol bye**

**don't believe anyone today, ya hear?**


	26. Chapter 26

**_Hi guys! So, sorry I didn't update sooner! Wow. Okay, in my defense, I was doing something with my friends everyday this week so it was kind of hard to write with them around hahaha. _**

**_Also, a giant thanks to everyone for the lovely comments. You people are light of my life3_**

**_Also, a special shout out to my darling Bruna. She is an amazing, behind amazing, person. And I'm blessed to know her! You'll spot her in this chapter, so get ready _****_J (btw she will also return with a bigger part, but wait wait wait this was an introduction)._**

Chapter 25

Every limb of her body just wanted her to fall asleep, her head pounded furiously, and her bones ached. But, no matter how many times she tossed and turned to find that "comfortable spot" she couldn't quite fall into that slumber she desperately wanted. Her mind was over populated with thoughts over him. Their kiss, mostly. What it meant for them. How they were going to go on after it. It was like someone had brainwashed her and deluded her mind into a continuous orbit that spun around Toby Cavanaugh. She couldn't get him out of her head.

She couldn't believe that she had spent three hours straight thinking about him, but maybe she had—her alarm clock was now ringing like crazy, reminding her there was more to life than a man with horrifying (beautiful) blue eyes, and a wicked spell binding smile that seemed to put her under each time. She lazily flung her arm over to her alarm clock; successfully hitting the "snooze" button. She could lie in bed for another 20 minutes and not be late to work, and if she was – Hanna might be pissed at her, but she kind of had it good with the boss. She knew there was really no point of lying there for any more amount of time though, she had spent three hours trying to fall asleep, how the hell would she accomplish that in twenty measly minutes? Except falling asleep was not the endgame here. She just felt too exhausted to move, and the thought of starting off the day in a state like this made her dread it even more than she already did.

The tiredness she felt couldn't even be cured by coffee and that said something. By the time she had finished getting ready for the already horrific day, the clock struck 6. She had to be at the bakery at 630. She figured, if Noah cooperated like she hoped, then she could make it on time. She had only been late one other time, ever, in her whole life, and that was her period all those years ago. Although there were other times when she skipped entirely, back when Toby was in control of all her feelings like some sort of puppet master, and decided to twist and tug and pull and draw on every last string she had until she finally snapped. Except, that wasn't the case now—she wasn't some over obsessed, love sickened, teen anymore. She made the plays this time.

As though the universe just had to make her day ten times worse than it already was at 6am, Noah started to cry and wail once she disturbed his sleep.

On Saturdays, the daycare she sent him to was closed, but even if it was open, at this time of day, it didn't really matter. They didn't start taking in the little munchkins till 730 AM. So, if there was a chance she _would_ work on a Saturday morning ( and there most certainly was, she worked them almost every Saturday) then she would take him to her parents' house. Usually, it was Aria and Ezra who watched him while she was at work on those Saturday mornings, but with everything that's happened she didn't dare. She sort of, in a way, forgave the two; Aria for lying, Ezra for nearly killing her best friend out of protection for her other, but even with her forgiveness, she wasn't jumping with glee at the opportunity to hang out with them. She couldn't just drop her son off at their house, and pretend everything was back to normal. Whatever the hell normal was that is, she didn't really know.

Usually, Noah made it pretty easy to get him from point A-his bed-to point B-the bed her parents had set up for him at their own house (yes, the Hastings are rich, they have all the money in the world to spend). But, today was not one of those instances. The second her arms wrapped around his tiny frame, rather than his batman covers, he began to scream and cry, and wail and shout—something that Spencer certainly did not need empowering her already aching head. " Shhhhh," she tried to calm him as she bounced him slightly up and down. He was straddled on her hip, his deep blue eyes locked onto her, tears falling freely down his face. "Shh, it's okay. Mommy is just taking you to granny and grammpys. You can bear with me a little longer, right?"

He lazily shook his head after a second, his lips pouted. She smiled in the slightest. "Okay, wrap your arms around me!"

He did as he was told; draping his arms around her neck, his head fell into the crook her shoulder. She pressed a gentle kiss to his temple in return.

Somehow managing to balance the two, she tugged a bag with all the needed supplies—some toys (her parents don't believe in anything fun, they can buy a 300 dollar bed, but not a 10 dollar toy), new clothes that he can switch into after he wakes up, and some granola (for a snack). And then she was off, trying her best not to be late for job.

She ended up running in at 6:37. A whole seven minutes late. To any normal person, the time difference was nothing, but to Spencer it may as well been 7 hours.

Hanna didn't seem to notice her though; she was too busy talking to someone unfamiliar to Spencer's eyes. Spencer walked up to the duo, her eyes landing on the teenage girl listening to Hanna's rambles. She looked to be Brazilian, her dark hair fell to her shoulders, and deep chocolate eyes were locked on Hanna. "Do you understand everything?"

_"What would you like? Coming right up! That'll be… Have a nice day!" _She recited, a hint of a smirk playing out on her features. "I think I've got it down."

A smile flew up on Hanna's face. "Great! Oh, Spencer!" Hanna turned to her friend, when noticing her face, her smile dropped, and her blue eyes narrowed. "Wow, what happened to you? Did you fall face-first into a ditch on the way here? You look like shit."

Spencer took in a deep breath trying to maintain the little patience she had. It wasn't even 7 in the morning yet, she _needed_ her patience. "I didn't get much sleep." She responded, her voice deadly.

"Oh, well anyways. This is Bruna" she gestured to the teenager beside her "She's Tyler's girlfriend. He told me about how Bruna wanted a job, and I said _what the hell_! I mean it's saving us so much time, too. We don't need to have all those annoying interviews with middle aged creeps who skipped out on college, and dental work!"

Hanna was talking to fast. Spencer felt like she only heard one word in her entire explanation. "Hello," she greeted the girl "I'm Spencer." She turned her head back to Hanna "who's Tyler again?"

"Caleb's little brother! God, Spencer don't you listen to anything? I went on for days about how Tyler missed his fitting and practically ruined everything! By the way, will you do me a favor, and give him a big ol' slap next time you see him?" Hanna rotated her head to Bruna.

She laughed.

"Anything to help the cause."

"Great!" Hanna chirped. "Well, anyways, Spencer is being modest—which isn't usual by the way, let me tell you—she's the manager here! She helps me out with all the finances and everything, and when she leaves me to work at some dumb editor job, I'm going to have to hire accountants, and managers, and all that annoying stuff because Spencer is a self centered bitch and she won't even think about me. She doesn't even like editing things, I mean _sure, _she corrects me every fricken chance she gets, but seriously—"

"Shut up Hanna" Spencer interjected, causing her friend to glare at her.

"Also I'm this close," she made a hand gesture as if she was pinching the air "to firing her. She doesn't respect me. Don't be like Spencer, Bruna. That's how you'll succeed here." Hanna told the brunette. Before Spencer could even produce a comeback, the blonde was off.

Spencer went into work with all she had (which wasn't much). Through the course of the day, she swore she had almost fallen asleep eight times. Bruna probably thought of her as an idiot. What a _great_ first impression.

When one o clock rolled in, and her shift ended. Spencer felt like she had just won the lottery. She had been ready to go home since the second she stepped in, except, she wasn't going home. She was going to visit a good friend of hers.

Spencer had texted her at 12:30 asking her if she could stop by after her shift. She had told her yes.

So, she stayed put outside the door, letting her knuckles do all the work. She had told her parents that she would be running late, and they seemed overjoyed. She didn't let them spend much time with Noah, only recently have they been really spending any quality time with him, really. She was afraid they would ruin him, like they did her. She believed they would corrupt her little boy.

The door opened after a few knocks, and there she stood, her signature look of worry sketched across her features.

"Is something wrong?" Emily immediately assumed.

"Kind of" Spencer answered, keeping her eyes on the floor.

Emily bit her lip, stepping out of the way so her friend could pass through.

Spencer walked in, gathering in her surroundings. Nothing changed since the last time she was here, but everything felt different. After that kiss with Toby, it's like the whole world had altered itself to a new angle. Everything was the same, but crooked; in a new position.

She took a seat on Emily's couch, resting her clamped hands on her knees "I did something stupid."

"You? Doing something stupid? I doubt that." Her friend tried to cheer her up as she took a seat next to her.

Spencer was going to fight her on that statement, she did stupid things all the time, it wasn't a new thing. Hell, she had a baby at 18. If that didn't identify her as someone who did ridiculously stupid things, she didn't know what would. Maybe this.

She shook her head.

"I'm serious."

Emily let out a tiny sigh "what happened?"

"I don't know if Hanna's told you, but I've been spending some time with Toby."

"She told me. She thinks you're an idiot."

"That's exactly why I'm not coming to her with this…" Spencer said in a mumble. She looked up at Emily "What do you think?"

"What do I think about what?" Emily innocently asked.

"Do _you_ think I'm an idiot?"

Emily mouth fell ajar and her eyes fell to the carpet. A moment passed by before she spoke. "I think that you really want this to work."

"So, basically you think I'm an idiot, you're just putting it nicely." Spencer sighed, her head falling into her hands.

"I don't think you're an idiot…I didn't say that. I think that you see that Toby really cares. And you want to give him a chance to let him prove his worth to you."

Spencer's eyes were distant. The word _want _had been thrown around so much in the last couple months that she had almost forgotten its meaning.

You _want _that chocolate brownie at midnight, but you don't take it because you don't _need _it. It's a sweet delicious snack, but in the end it will just come back to bite you in the ass. The chocolate brownie will ultimately just make your life harder.

You want it, but you know you can't have it.

Toby was a chocolate brownie.

She wanted so badly for him to be her life again. For them to be a family. For them to sit by each other at Noah's kindergarten and high school graduation. For them to go through life, hand in hand, side by side, and accomplish every obstacle that the world threw at them.

But, she couldn't have it.

They didn't have a happy ending. They would end in chaos. They would create a horrible aroma for their son. They would destroy not only their lives, but his. They would bring him into their own dysfunction, and demolish everything he is.

They could never be normal.

It just wasn't an option.

"I have to go," Spencer stepped up from the couch, knowing what she had to do, now.

"What? Spencer, you just got here!" Emily stepped up, blocking her friend from making a run for it.

"I know, but I was just thinking, and I know what I have to do now. It's the only option!"

"Spencer," Emily sighed, her eyes pleading her to listen. "look, Toby visited me a couple weeks ago, and I don't know what he's done, or what his motives were, or anything, really. But, he told me he was sorry, sorry for everything. And I know only spent, at the most, two hours with him, but I believe it when he tells me that he doesn't want any trouble. That all he wants is to be part of your life, part of Noah's."

Spencer could feel the tears forming. "I believe him! But, it's not that simple, Emily! I can't just let him back into my life again! We can never work things out, be a family! It's all too screwed up; it's too late for us. Whether it's Toby, blaming himself for every little thing, and not forgiving himself for the past, or it's me, not believing him when he says he didn't do something; it won't work! It can't! No matter how much we want it to work, it's not going to. And the best thing right now, for everyone, is for him to just leave. It's the only option."

Spencer didn't realize it, but she was bawling her eyes out. She didn't even know how she let that all out. How she didn't stop herself from revealing it all. The next thing she knew, Emily's arms were wrapped around her in a tight embrace. And her head was in the crook of her neck.

"Do you think I'm making the right decision?" she pulled out of the embrace once she collected herself, well the most she could in a situation like this.

Emily's mouth twitched, and eye's faltered, "That's for you to decide" she shrugged. "Whatever you end up doing, I'll support you." Emily told her, giving her a meek grin.

Spencer offered a weak smile of gratitude.

"Thank you," Spencer whispered, her arms draping around the taller girl for another quick hug.

Emily looked at her, a seriousness about her eyes "look, Spencer, whatever you do, go with whatever _feels right_. Even if it doesn't seem like it should be right, if it feels right, go with it."

Spencer slightly nodded before she made her escape.

She didn't really think about what Emily said. She knew being with Toby could never be right. It was unquestionable. Thinking about it more would just expand her confusion, or worse, she would talk herself out of it. She knew if she didn't do it now, then there was a chance she wouldn't do it at all.

And that couldn't happen.

She asked him to meet her at the park. Maybe if they were in public, she would be able to resist herself from letting out the tears she could already feel forming. In spite of how many times she did cry in front of others, she hated it. She hated the pity that stalked others' faces; she hated to make herself look weak, _especially_ in front of the person who was the reason behind her pain

She waited on the park bench. It was the one facing the small playground that she had taken Noah to a few weeks ago. There weren't as many people in the park today. She figured it was because of the November air was chilly, and crisp; defiantly not a temperature that would pursue people to come out of their heated houses, and take a stroll in the park. Although there were a few apparent Eskimos lurking about.

He showed up, a little late, but she didn't hold it against him, and took the seat next to her, words flying out of his mouth the second he sat down. "Spencer, I'm so glad that you called me. I thought after last night, that you would ignore all my calls, and texts and just me entirely—"

"Stop" she told him, her eyes closing. "Please, just, stop. You're making it harder than it already is."

The second the statement left her mouth, his heart dropped, along with the corners of his lips.

"Spencer…" his soft voice trailed.

She shook her head lightly, her eyes falling to her clamped hands resting on her thighs "Toby…" her voice broke. The whole going to the park to prevent her tears wasn't exactly effective. "I just…I believe everything you've told me. I don't doubt your intentions while coming back here, but that doesn't change the past. That doesn't change everything you've done to me…to my friends."

Toby stayed silent, his eyes burning as he gazed at her.

"I can't just pretend that all those things didn't happen." She looked at him, excessive pain broad across her features. She gulped. "The only way that the both of us will be able to move on is for you to leave…the longer you stay, the harder it will be."

He looked to be in shock. His eyebrows ceased and his jaw trembled. "You want me to leave?" he asked, his voice hoarse and succumbed with sadness.

"It's the best decision…for everyone."

His eyes stayed put on her, as if he was expecting her to add something to that. But, she didn't. He couldn't believe what he heard. Not after last night. Not after everything they've been through in the past few months. "You just expect me to go?" he asked, but he already knew the answer. It was a dumb question, really.

"You know that it can never work out between us!" she looked at him, her eyes mad with gloom.

"It's not just about us anymore Spencer! We have a _kid."_

"You don't think I've thought about that?" she snapped, her voice a little too loud for her surroundings. She tried to calm herself, but her breathing was still rapidly fast. "Look," her voice was lower now "I am doing the best I can. Noah is my main concern, everything I do, everything I've done; I've always tried to do what was best for _him_. He's always been my first intention."

"And you think this is what's best for him? For me to just leave?! For him to grow up without a father?"

"It's better than having two parents who end up hating each other! Look, Toby…" she sighed "we can never work."

"Why not" he gritted through his teeth in a demand, his eyes sharp and locked on her.

"Because, what happens when I don't believe you? My trust for you isn't exactly the best! And you haven't even forgiven yourself! If I do something _awful, _you'll just let it slide! It just won't work! We are too messed up!"

"I feel like you are just _looking _for reasons why we shouldn't be together" he accused.

Her head fell into her hands, her back arching towards the grass. The tears falling down her face had no boundaries. Once her tears began to leak, they never stopped. They were endless, and she didn't know how to control herself. She felt like she was on the verge of a panic attack.

"Spencer, don't cry. Please, I don't want you to cry." He whispered, his voice meek, and unsteady. She figured, he too had spread a tear or two. But, he certainly wasn't as of an emotional wreck as she was. She looked up at him after a moment.

"You don't know how badly I want for us to work, Toby!" her voice rasped, her eyes roaming around the playground. She was lucky the day was so bitter that no one dared to bring their kids to the park because she swore if anyone was around, they would be calling for phys care. "I want to be with you, so badly. For Noah to have a father, for us to be a _family! _But, you can't always get what you want, can you?" she wiped her eyes, but that didn't stop the tears "I love you, Toby, and honestly? I probably always will, but we can't be together. And I'm afraid that if you stick around, then I'll make the horrible mistake, like I did last night, and kiss you. And just fool myself into believing it _can _work when we both know it _can't._"

"You keep saying we. Like it's some collective thought. How do you know I don't think it can?"

She looked at him, a look of disbelief flushing across her face. "I—You,"

"Spencer," he mumbled, his hesitant hand resting on hers, and his other wiping away at the droplets formed on her face. "I would never give up on us. I will never stop loving you. You are the love of my life, and I can't—I just can't give up on us. It would be a lot easier to believe we could never work, to not have hope, but I just c_an't. _Not after last night."

This was the first time she looked at him, really looked at him, since they got here. His genuine eyes were slightly puffy, and pink. He had to be crying, he just had to, and she just must've missed it.

Surprisingly, to both of them, Spencer didn't jump back at his touch. She let his hands roam her skin, and brush away the dews on her cheeks.

"Stop. Crying. Please" he begged after a moment.

She shook her head, "I can't." her voice broke. Her teeth were sunken into her bottom lip, and her eyes looked as if they were made of glass, shiny and reflective from the tears procreating in the depths of her eye sockets.

At last, she pulled away her hand away from his. She shook her head, knocking his hand down, away from her face. "I'm sorry, Toby." She told him after a pause. "I'm sorry I led you on into thinking that _this _could work. I'm sorry you believe in something that could never possibly be true."

"Spencer," he said his voice more hoarse than ever.

"Please, just go." She begged once more.

"I can't" he squeezed his eyes, shut. "I just, can't" his eyes opened once more. "How can I just leave Noah behind? You?"

She let out a horrible sigh, a heart wrenching sigh, that made Toby feel guilty for not just listening to her, and going on his way.

"When Noah's older, I'll tell him that you're his father. I'll tell him you didn't know; that I never told you, and you had no idea you had a son. He'll probably want to look for you and when that time comes I'll tell him who you are. And all the information I have on you, and I'm sure with the technology we'll have when that time comes, he'll be able to do so."

"He'll hate you" Toby stated without thinking.

"I know," her eyes squeezed shut.

"Spencer, you shouldn't…you shouldn't do that."

"I'm forcing you to leave. I'm taking away him having a dad. If he does hate me, I'll deserve it" Her voice broke once more.

"If he knew the truth about me then he would hate me too. You are just doing what you think is best, you shouldn't have to be caught in the crossfire."

"Noah _is_ the crossfire, Toby. He's the product of utter chaos, and commotion! He'll forgive me for what I did, but _you._" Her voice trailed off, her words hanging in the bitter air for a moment's pause. "Look, I'm just trying to find a way that this will work out for all of us."

"There isn't a way it will work out for all of us." He said dryly, his eyes trained on a swing set in the distance. "Either way, I am missing out on _so much _of his life." There were tears falling off his face now, and his voice was cracking as if he just hit puberty "I won't even know who he is."

The statement broke her heart, really. But, she couldn't, she just couldn't let him into their life.

"However long I have to wait, I'll be missing out. I'll be losing out on the time that kids need their parents most. I can't just move on, Spencer. Not from this. You can't just expect me to leave." He looked at her now. His eyes were glazed with empowering gloom, and raw emotion, which only made it that much harder to say her next statement.

"You _have _to. It's what's best for Noah."

"How do you know?"

"Because there's less dysfunction this way. We are the ultimate dysfunction, Toby. Don't you see?"

His eyebrows furrowed, and he didn't mumble a word.

"I can't just be around you, hang out with you until I trust you enough to be alone with Noah, _I can't._ I'm not strong enough to keep my feelings aside, and I'm _awful_ for that, but I know I won't be able to. That kiss last night," her voice trailed off into the distant memory that seemed like forever ago "it made me realize just how weak you make me. How I can fall under your spell so easily. We can't be together. We'll just fill his life with more chaos than it already has. And if you stay…I know that I won't be able to stay away. The farther you are, the more of a chance he has at having, not really a normal life, but a less dysfunctional one."

"So, you are making me leave because you know if I stay, we will end up being together? That doesn't even make sense, Spencer!"

"It makes perfect sense!" she hissed "Our relationship would plummet faster than someone skydiving without a parachute. We would objectify him to all our arguments, and verbal abuse, and it would just end horribly! We would destroy his childhood; the most precious years of his life."

"You don't know that. You aren't even willing to give us a shot."

"Toby," her voice snapped "I forgave you for _so much, _why can't you just listen to me? Believe me when I tell you it can't work—that this is the best option!"

"Because Spencer, what's the point in you forgiving me if you are just pushing me away again? Before I saw Noah, before I knew I had a son, your forgiveness would have meant the world to me. I could have been stuck by lightning the next day, and went through surgery without anesthetics, but still be jolly because I had your forgiveness, but every things changed now! This is bigger than just us!"

She shook her head "Please just, go, Toby. Think it through. When you realize that _I'm right_, and you decide to _go_, then just tell me. You can say goodbye to Noah, and me, for that matter, then." She told him, stepping off the bench. Her tears had finally paused, but she knew if she fast forwarded through the day, she would once again making mountains of dews on her cheekbones.

He didn't say anything in reply. He didn't say bye, or that he would call her later or even accept it all. He just stared straight ahead into the galaxy of nothingness. She sighed "don't stay out here all day, Toby; you're going to catch a cold."

And with that, she was gone.

**_I have two more chapters in store for you :) _**

**_Actually, depending on how long the next one is that might change…but probably two! + an epilogue (I've already started the epilogue because I'm that excited for it…um) + I'm really excited to write the next two chapters so hehehehe ;)_**

**_Sorry if I broke your hearts, I could feel mine breaking a couple times through._**

**_So, yeah._**

**_Tell me your thoughts!_**

**_Do you think Spencer is being rash? Do you think Toby is fighting her a little too hard? Do you think Toby will catch a cold? Well, the next two chapters/or one depending on how long it will be/are going to be jam packed with emotion…and other stuff too ;)…so I hope you are ready! _**

**_As always I beg of you to leave me a little offering of your thoughts! _****_J (eventhoughithinkicouldhavedonebetterwiththischapt er)_**

**p.s. if this had any typos, I'm sorry! It's 3am and my head is pounding like crazy.**


	27. Chapter 27

_**hello my darlings ! So, I know it's been like a week and you thought I was done taking a million years to update, but i'm sorry! School sucks! But I would like to say thank you very much for the reviews :) I appreciate the constructive criticism and I'll be sure to remember that for the future ! I know this story has been angst angst angst, but hopefully these last few chapters will be rewarding! btw SOOOO i don't know if you guys remember, it was AWHILE back, but in one chapter, Hanna had to break up Ted and Ashley because of A! And I sort of reference that in this chapter, so just so you aren't confused! OK well I hope my writing is OKAY!**_

**Chapter 26**

A week passed. A whole week and she had heard nothing from him. She had tried to call him, countless times, but each time not even a ring met her ears. He wouldn't just skip town, leave without saying goodbye—she wanted him to leave, but not like that! Well, actually she didn't even want him to leave at all, really. The more she thought over her conclusion of his departure being the best choice, the more she regretted the conversation even taking place.

She was still so confused. She felt lost almost, and it was times like these when she wished she could pull out some crystal ball, whisper some voodoo magic, and see her future foldout in front of her.

The past week had been hell. And she didn't know whether or not it was connected with Toby's abandonment. Was it all just a coincidence that the second he left her life seemed to go from difficult to down right impossible? Would it be like this till he came back, if he ever did?

If Spencer believed in signs, she certainly would take this as one.

Everything that could have gone wrong—did; from her getting a B on a few of her tests, to Noah throwing an absolute fit when Spencer wanted him to go to bed. It was all awful, and she couldn't help, but to think if Toby were here it could have been better.

She was so indecisive. So stupid. One minute she would be absolutely sure of something and the next...well...she would be an emotional wreck.

She felt like she had two different mindsets squished into one brain; two figures on her shoulders and she couldn't distinguish on who was the devil and who was the angel.

Her mind hadn't stopped racing in months over the infinite possibilities ahead of them, only when they kissed did her mind seem to ease, and her heart take on the speed.

She needed help, truly. At this point, she just should have been administrated into psychiatric care; she was going insane.

It all felt so wrong, so very wrong, and she couldn't help, but to think of what Emily had told her. The second she left the park, she feared she had said the wrong words; made the incorrect decision. She felt so sure at the time, so positive that her choice was the right choice. As the reality of it all - Toby leaving and maybe never coming back - sunk in, her thoughts bypassed the avenue of regret and remorse. She tried to tell herself, make herself believe, that it was all to be expected; the after effect; the fog after the storm, which made everything unclear. But her second thoughts were too strong to just be second thoughts; she needed someone to tell her she did the right thing.

And maybe that's why she ended up tagging along with Hanna to check out the potential wedding chapels her marriage would take place in.

At first, it was a shock. Hanna Marin, getting married in a chapel? It sounded to be a joke-and a bad one at that. When thinking of Hanna, she imagined something resembling the New York plaza, thousand feet ceilings and elegant staircases made of the richest of leprechaun gold, or maybe even a castle, but definitely not a church.

It was for her mother and —the two had gotten back together —Ted whom she looked up to as a father, she explained. Besides "churches are cute!" Hanna added. Although Spencer recalled Hanna yelling at her earlier that year for referring to a dress as cute, she didn't push her on subject. Hanna seemed to be happy with having the marriage at a chapel, and that's all that really mattered, really.

Spencer watched her son. He was playing with his spider man action figure on the pew. He was making "whoosh" and "bam" noises as he swept the superhero of the pew and into the air.

Hanna was in the front, on the alter, with the pastor. The two looked to be in the midst of a serious conversation, which seemed odd because she didn't think Hanna knew much about church history-hell, she didn't even know what Easter celebrated up to a year ago. She certainly was not educated enough to last in a conversation about the church longer than a few minutes. Yet, they've been here for forty five.

Meanwhile, Caleb had only said five words to the pastor, at the most. He had been roaming up and down the aisles for the most of the time they spent here, possibly checking out the stained glass windows; they were certainly beautiful, and well crafted. They held so much detail, and handcrafted care. It was certainly one of those times where the quote of "a picture is worth a thousand words" crossed her mind.

She had been so lost in thought that she hadn't even noticed Caleb walking towards her. "Jesus, when is she going to be done?"

Her eyes landed on him. He looked just as beat as her. This was the forth chapel they visited that day. "Are you talking to me or just praying out loud?" joked Spencer.

"Oh, crap! I just used God's name in vain, didn't I? Crap, well...wait it is it a sin to say crap? God, I've said it three times...and there I go with the God's name in vain thing again! Wow, I suck at this."

"Don't worry. I'm sure this won't grant you a pass to hell" Spencer teasingly told him, cupping a hand on his shoulder.

She dropped it, bringing it back into her chest and let out a sigh. "It's not like you killed someone in a church ...now, that, that just might take you down the pathway of hell."

He gave her a look of absurdity. It wasn't that Caleb was so religious or anything that he would take offense to the statement but, it was just the boldness of it, the morbidity that hung around it. The way she said it, mostly. It sounded like she was joking, but there was something about her tone-something that made it seem more than just a morbid joke. "Woah, I think we just jumped from crawling to skydiving, where'd _that_ come from?"

She shrugged it off like it was nothing, and that was true. She didn't really believe in Heaven or Hell, for that matter. She was never taught to believe in it all, her parents never talked about it, she grew up without it. It was all just another theory of afterlife to her, really. The statement-it was more like a joke about a subject only she would get; an inside joke she said aloud. Her friends-Toby, maybe they would understand the joke too, but they weren't around to laugh at the cruel comment. "Just saying" Spencer answered after a moment.

"Right," Caleb said, obviously unconvinced. But he didn't press. With a cluck of the tongue, they were on a new subject. "So, why'd you volunteer to tag along? I mean I'm forced to be here, but you" his voice trailed as his hand gestured her up and down.

She paused.

To tell the truth, or to not tell the truth, that is the question.

"I was hoping I would have a chance to talk to Hanna, but hope never seems to work out in my favor."

"Well, I'm here to talk" he offered "I'll even listen to a story about hand bags," he promised "I just need _something_ to distract myself."

She let out a tiny dry laugh and in all honesty, she didn't know whether or not to believe it to be real "Yeah, it's not really about that, but thanks."

It went silent.

She knew it was a dumb question. A dumb question that she already knew the answer to. The answer being just another reason to power her second thoughts about Toby. But with all the stupid things she's been doing, she figured what was one more stupid question?

A lot, it was a lot.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Anything," he immediately replied. Obviously, he didn't know where this would lead.

"How different do you think your life would be if...if your father had been around when you were a kid?"

He looked at her in shock, obviously not connecting the dots to what image displayed in the back of her mind. His dazzled bronze eyes moved away from her after a moment and to the alter where Hanna stood, although his eyes weren't focused much on her. They were far beyond her, in another dimension. "Definitely different. I may have reunited with my parents, but it still kind of sucks-y'know?" He looked back at her. "I remember this one time, I was ten, I was at the park and it was right around spring time, maybe a little too cold to be outside, but people were so excited that it was remotely warm that they didn't care. I was on the swings and it was right on the pathway of the park, I could watch everyone pass by. I sat there for awhile just watching the people come and go, and then this family passed by me. They were so happy. The father, he had this little boy-probably five or something-on his shoulders. And little kid was giggling and laughing away a storm. And I don't know, it made me sad. Why couldn't I have that? What did I do to chase away my parents? Why didn't my dad want to carry me on his shoulders through the park?"

Spencer was staring at him with all her focus, her eyes intense on his temples. His stare aborted the alter and fell on Noah. "This is about Noah, isn't it?" his eyes landed on her once more.

She gulped.

"You could say that."

"I heard Toby was in town."

Spencer stayed silent. As far as Caleb knew Toby's main motive for abandoning town was their break up.

"Yeah, he is…"

"Look, Spencer. I think that you deserve someone who will jump through hoops for you, and do anything for you and Noah. Sure, the kid deserves a dad, but what's the point if the dad is just a slack off who leaves when the going gets rough? I don't know Toby that well…hell I think I've really only met him once—I don't know anything about the guy. I don't know what happened between you guys all those years ago, but it sure took a toll on you. And… I don't know. I guess you got to determine who Toby is and whether or not he being around would benefit Noah. Then from there, decide what you think is the best decision."

Spencer stayed silent, her eyes in his direction, but looking off somewhere far beyond the map.

There was a clucking and tapping noise that awakened her senses. Hanna was coming down the aisle way, a small segment of a smile playing her lips. Caleb left a cup of his hand on Spencer's shoulder, in support, before treading off to his bride-to-be.

Spencer didn't know what to think of Caleb's words.

Part of her thought Toby would be a great father, but the other part of her was scared. Scared that he would leave again like he did so many times before when the going got tough. She needed him to fully commit to her if he wanted a part in their lives. She couldn't have him leaving every now and then. _He had to be constant._

And it wasn't exactly smoothing her anxiety out that he had been ignoring her calls for the past week.

She supposed it was her own fault. She had practically sent him to the plank, giving him no other options than to jump.

Maybe she shouldn't have been so soon to excommunicate him.

"Mommy," the little boy murmured a few minutes after dinner time. They were watching _Tarzan_. It was one of Noah's favorite Disney movies. Probably because it involved gorillas and elephants and a man who slid down trees and hopped vines and did this all in underwear. She knew if Noah had a choice, he would take on that lifestyle.

They were right in beginning, far from the period of time where Noah would fall asleep "I'm kinda like Tarzan" he said.

"How's that?" she asked, an amused smile gracing her features.

"Well not…exactly! But, y'know and he has to live with those gorillas, and like then he has a mommy, but the big gorilla daddy doesn't like him and stuff! And he has a bunch of friends and everything and like a big huge family of gorillas! Oh! And a elephant friend! And I have a big family and stuff, but no daddy! So we are kinda alike!" he went on in his babbles.

Spencer's amused smile fell into a weighed frown. He didn't continue the subject, but her heart didn't continue to sting. That statement—it was like he was pouring salt on her already open wombs. It hurt. So much. Even if he didn't seem upset by his own discoveries, she was.

All throughout the movie she thought about everything— what Caleb said, what Noah said, what Emily said, what Toby said—her mind was racing by the end of it. She was so unsure of everything now; the only thing that was clear was that she needed to talk to Toby.

After tucking Noah into bed, and calling Toby three times—all going straight to voicemail, she decided she would take a visit to his loft. Hanna told her that she would watch Noah while she was out, and although she did not condone her behavior, she wished her luck on catching him.

The drive to his house went by quick. She didn't know if it was just her mind playing tricks on her or if she had exceeded the speed limit. Whatever the case was, she had not enough time to take under consideration of what she was going to even say. Her mind was so disorganized, everything was cluttered together, and it got so out of hand that she felt like she couldn't put herself back together. She needed to sort this all out with someone, she needed their help, and although she wished that Emily, or Hanna, or even Caleb, could just help rebuild herself, she knew that wasn't an option. The only person that could help her with the questions racking her brain was Toby.

When she got to his door, her heart tripled its beat. She couldn't even hear herself knocking on the door over the loud beating heart inside her. Her knocking and heart rate increased after a few minutes of the banging—was he not home or just not answering because he knew it was her? She sighed, her knocks becoming lazy, and her tiredness catching up with her—making her head throb.

It seemed useless, really. She had been knocking for fifteen minutes. Fifteen minutes. If he was inside, he would surely get annoyed of the constant clanking coming from his doorway, right? She sure was getting sick of it. She sighed, turning around from the door. She wasn't going home without talking to him. She would campout here all night if she had too (well maybe not, she was a mother of a four year old of course, she couldn't be here _all night, _but she would definitely wait a few hours for him to make his self present.)

Sighing, she slid down the doorway, her knees projecting to the ceiling, and her head resting against the lower part of the door. Her eyes locked on her fumbling entwined hands. Her violet painted nails were chipping away, and her skin was parched. She was such a mess, really. And maybe she has been a mess since high school.

After everything with Toby, she had to pick herself backup, put her jagged pieces back together. The reconstruction of herself resulted into something completely different than herself though. The Spencer Hastings—the one she hated growing up with—vanished. She changed. A lot of things altered her personality, but Toby's betrayal that was what flipped her whole world around. It changed everything, not just herself, but the world around her too.

She was no longer this collected individual anymore. She most certainly did not have her shit together. She relied on people. She was dependent on others. And maybe that's how everyone was in this world. Broken. Relying on others to put them back together, but only hurting themselves more in the process.

She always thought she could do it on her own that if these people presence didn't determine her state of mind. She didn't need them to get through the harsher days; she could do it on her own. But she was wrong. She would have never gotten through anything if it weren't for her friends. She would have been drowning in a pit of despair by the second week of A's texts. She wouldn't have survived. They were her life jackets, and sure she could swim, but that made it a hell of a lot harder.

And maybe how that's how it was with Toby too.

He was _always _there for her. Their relationship was not consisted of honesty, not at all, but that didn't make it any less real. The feelings—they were there. He kept her sane for all that time; made her feel safe. When disaster struck, those feelings left; they went away for a long time. Only up to a couple weeks ago was she feeling them again. She was possibly falling in love with him all over again, and just like last time she was scared; scared of what the future would hold for the two. But this time, she wasn't just scared, she was _terrified_. Terrified of those feelings because of all he's done.

He did things to protect her, yes. He did a lot. He would probably do anything. Anything at all to protect her. He told her he always tried—tried to keep her safe and did some awful things in the process. But she didn't understand how he could just leave after all that? Leave her with some dumb letter that left her clueless—that didn't let her in on the secrets he possessed. How could he just go? Leave her alone, and give up on everything?

Maybe that scared her the most.

Maybe she was afraid of yet another abandonment.

The sound of footsteps met her ears. Her head instantly bobbed up at the noise, turning slightly to the end of the tiny hall where the sound was coming from.

He rounded the corner from the staircase, and met her eyes from the end of the narrow and shallow hallway. His eyes were squinted slightly as he walked. Neither said anything until a few steps later when he was standing right in front of her, hovering over her, looking down on her, slightly confused.

"How long have you been here?" he asked.

"Not too long." She shrugged.

He held out his hand for her to grab so he could help her up, and she took it, pushing herself off the floor in the process. Their eyes met in a sort of gaze before they let each other go. "Why haven't you been answering my calls? I've been trying to get a hold of you all week."

He sighed, his eyes moving southward. "I was visiting my dad. I was gone most of the week. I didn't really have my phone on much; I just figured we could both use some time to think about things…some space. I should have told you, I'm sorry." He looked at her now.

Her eyes flickered slightly "no, it's fine. I practically exiled you, I shouldn't be upset when you leave town…" her lips pursed to the side, as her arms wrapped around herself "besides, it's not like we are dating or anything, I don't need to know all your whereabouts" she mumbled.

"Do you want to come in?" he offered. "I mean, this hallway is pretty nice and all, but my loft is actually renovated now. I mean it's not exactly furnished to the greatest extent, but it's at least it has heating."

Spencer smiled slightly. The last time she saw the loft it was in terrible, beyond terrible shape. But that was in July. It was probably beautiful by now "sure" she nodded.

She stepped aside so he could open the door, and followed him afterwards. Her eyes danced across the room the second she stepped in. Like, she predicted, it was completely wonderful. The ceiling fan looked new, and cracked warring away wooden floors were now replaced with beautifully red oak. The walls were completely stripped of the paint, revealing the brick behind it. It fit the room well, and she agreed with his decision to not paint over it again.

Like he said, there wasn't much furniture. It was pretty desolate, and felt lonely just looking at it. There was a futon in the middle of the room—where she presumed he slept—and a few books scattered around it. His kitchen was the only thing that was packed. He had an assortment of cereal lined up on his counters and macaroni boxes piled up on the top of his fridge.

"You can sit down, if you like" he gestured to the futon sitting in the middle of the room.

She sat down in the futon, glancing around the room once more, but it wasn't because she was taking in her surroundings this time, she was ignoring his stare "Do you want anything? Coffee?"

"No thanks," she replied, her mouth pressing together as her eye fell onto her the backs of her hands making circles on the futon.

A small sigh escaped his mouth before he sat next to her. She was alarmed at his sudden closeness. Her head jolted up, and their eyes met. She wanted to look away, but she couldn't. The spell was already casted, and she was once again bewitched by Toby Cavanaugh.

Her hands came to a gradual stop, but stayed planted on the futon. Her teeth secured on her inner lip, and heart once again accelerated at the jump start.

"Did you come here to talk about something…or?"

She cleared her throat. "Yeah," she finally dropped the trance. Her fingers dug into the fabric, her index finger and her middle finger walking across the line of stitches in the futon, almost. "I've been thinking a lot about us…"

She could feel him focused on her even more now, causing streaks of anxiety to run through her system. "I'm…I don't know what's right anymore…" she continued, her voice lacking the confidence she wish she could get a hold of, "and I guess…I'm just here to hear you out." She looked at him now, a half smile being forced, and her eyes glistened with a slight remorse.

He gulped. "I—I understand why you are scared, Spence…I did everything imaginable to screw things up...and I could have done better, a lot better. But I _promise _you, if you give me another chance, I swear I will never make those mistakes again."

She looked away, feeling her irises being captured by tears.

He took her hand, massaging her knuckles, and squeezing her palms. "Please."

She looked at him again, swallowing the potential tears. "I just…why didn't you try harder? Why did you give up? Why did you _leave, _and give me some dumb letter that didn't even explain things to me? If you told me…maybe I could have prevented things from happening. I could have put an end to it all."

"I was scared" he confessed "I was scared for me, _for you_."

"So you think you would be helping me by leaving town?"

"No…look, Mona said if I left, she would leave you alone—for good. You would be safe, and she wanted me gone. At the time, it just seemed like the best bet…I didn't know what to do anymore. I was so far in and—I just. I didn't know what to do."

Spencer figured Mona kept her promise, not much happened to her after Toby left, but she considered that being the clue to Mona having a heart—apparently not.

"Maybe physically…but," she huffed "Hanna—she almost died, _twice! _Within one month, and—just—you leaving me…" she shook her head. "It hurt…and I want to forgive you, but _I can't_."

"You don't have to forgive me right now, Spencer. You can take all the time you want…but I will _never _leave. If you let me, I'll stay with you forever. This is the only place for me, Spencer. Let me show you that I'll stay…that I'll never leave again."

"What if it ends terribly?" she tilted her head in his direction after a moment, the corners of her lips weighed down by anchors.

"What if it doesn't? What if we can have what we both _want? _Spencer, you think the possibility of you actually getting what you want is unattainable, but it's not…you just have to take a chance. Take a chance on _me_."

She looked at him for a while, her eyes flickering back and forth at his stare. The oceans of his eyes were calm, and bright. Steady. Soothing. When she looked into them her whole world went still, was pressed on pause, and her mind finally cleansed. Its pace weakened, and she finally knew the answer she had been searching for.

She didn't say anything, her lips worked in another way. She pressed her lips to his, pulling her hands up to cup his face. Their lips clashed together attentively; their mouths falling ajar to each other's presence.

The kiss started off light as a simple snowflake falling in the middle of winter, but ended like a blizzard; fully packed and making everything seem fuzzy.

His hands reached her lower back, pulling her closer to him, needing her to be right next to him.

Feeling her in his arms, it was too much. The thought occurred to him so many times that he may never get the chance again. That he would have to go on in life without her. It all felt like a dream, so surreal to be possible, but at the same time the realest thing he's ever known.

She pulled away, her eyes fluttering open. Her hands were still the sanctuary for his face, and his hands were still blessed with the hold on her back. Their faces were close, their breathing bouncing of one another. She settled her forehead on his. Their eyes finding each other again "living without you was too hard" she quietly murmured "I don't think I can do it anymore."

A grin penciled on his features. He nuzzled his nose against hers, giving her the slightest of an Eskimo kiss "me either."

Her smiled sketched all the way to her ears as her hands bypassed the sides of his head and fell into a loop around his neck. She couldn't suppress the smile on her face. She tried to restrain it with her teeth, but it just busted out each time "we should probably take things slow."

He nodded, his smile mimicking hers.

Their lips collided once more into a passionate kiss. His hands bringing her to the closest point she could possibly be.

Apparently that wasn't close enough for her hand pushed at his chest lightly, causing him to fall on his back on the futon. She followed his lead, her body pressing against his.

Toby stopped kissing her first, which caused her to look at him in confusion. Her hair was flailed out into front of her face, her eyes fixated on him, and her breathing heavy.

"I don't think this is really qualified as taking it slow…" he said, a smile erupting on his face in the middle of his sentence. He couldn't help but laugh. Not at his joke, or anything funny, really. It was more of just a happy laugh. An enthusiastic explosion.

She laughed too.

"You're probably right." She smiled, but she didn't move. She stayed planted on him though, looking down at him with those beautiful copper eyes.

He moved the strains of hair blocking her face behind her ears so he could get a better look at her. He didn't remember ever feeling this happy. The last four years, he had been suffering completely; he was alone in every way possible and had no hope for anything remotely good in his life to ever greet him, again.

But he was wrong, oh so wrong because the best thing that he could ever want, ever ask for, happened.

**did you smile? did you cry? I SURE WAS SMILING? is that weird? hahaha**

**Ok well give me your thoughts on this chapter purty please**

**the next one will be the last and then the epilogue! **


	28. Chapter 28

**_Wowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww I'm SO SORRY! I'm so sorry it took me so long to update L but I have my reasons, so okay. BASICALLY whenever I was about to write it SOMETHING HAPPENED and omg I'm sorry. Just know I'm sorry okay! I have been so busy with school and sometimes I didn't have access to a laptop/computer. I will try to get the epilogue up soon. This chapter is longer than most of my other chapters, so I don't know if that excuses my absence (not really, but it helps? No?) ok well, seriously. I SUCK! But, I hope you guys like this chapter. I will have another author note at the end but OK the "flats" reference is to a point in this fanfiction where Spencer says something along the lines of Toby and her working out is just as likely as Hanna wearing flats so yeah J I don't know if you remember that, but I thought I should explain because I don't want you guys to be like "wtf?" at that point! OK ONWARD:_**

The Final Chapter

_Seven Months Later…_

"Are you sure about this?" Hanna asks, picking up the last of the boxes of hair supplies and beauty products. "I mean, it's kind of a big move. Are you sure about it? I just, I don't…you should just make sure you are set with everything before you know…"

Spencer comes out of the bathroom, her hair brush halted midway past her shoulder, and face bunched up into a look of frustration "Hanna, stop. I can't think about it anymore, I'm balding worse than my dad."

Hanna gives her a look of disgust, before rounding the corner, towards the end of the hallway, where her fiancé waits. She pushes the box into her fiancé's chest, only to receive a piercing look of absurdity from him "you're kidding me. You seriously can't take this down yourself? It's like lighter than your make up bag."

She rolls her eyes, "I'm having girl talk with Spencer!"

He rolls his eyes, and continues his way towards the door. Hanna lips gallop into a hearty smile, and her hands pin to her hips. She follows her trail of steps back to Spencer, and stops in the doorway of the bathroom, where Spencer is now applying her mascara.

"All I'm saying is, it's a lot of things changing for the kid at once, don't you think you should do this more gradually?"

"Since when have you ever done things gradually? Look, Hanna. It's not like I'm bringing in some random guy from the streets and telling Noah to start calling him _dada_. He knows him, he _loves _him. And you may still be skeptical of Toby, but he's really shown me that I can trust him and that he cares. He wants to tell Noah, just as much Noah wants a dad. I don't have a reason to come in between that anymore."

Hanna smiles, sort of, but there is more to her stare. It's something disheartening. "I guess…I'm just going to miss you guys. And maybe if you _weren't _ready, then I could stay a little while longer."

Spencer looks at her best friend, and an immediate frame of a smile meets her lips. But, like Hanna's, there is more to it. It is a sad smile with heart break behind it. She steps forward, and lunges her arms around the blonde's frame, and at first, Hanna is startled by the unexpected clash, but her arms gradually brace around her.

"I don't think I've ever told you, but I don't think I could have done it without you…you've been with me every step of the way, and just—thank you so much, Han. I'll miss you _so_ much" she murmurs into the blonde's ear, tugging at her heart strings, and pulling at her tear ducts.

Hanna pulls out, slightly, her hands still placed on the brunette's back, but the space between them evident "I was just using you for the apartment… I mean, _It has a washing and dryer machine_."

Spencer playfully rolls her eyes, a smile creeping on her face, as well as Hanna's "Shut up" she hugs her best friend once more, this time, in a much shorter, but tighter hug. She pulls out, and smiles "I'm sure Caleb is pissed by now, you should probably get out of here. You have all your things, and I think Caleb is going to start noticing if you take anymore of my stuff. Which, by the way, I want back."

"Please, Caleb doesn't know the difference between a hair dryer and flat iron, I could go at this for hours, and he wouldn't notice. You just want me gone because Toby will be here soon, and you don't want me saying anything mean" she teases, a smile stringed on her features.

"That too" Spencer murmurs, "Do you still hate him?"

"…no" Hanna answers after a minute. "But, that doesn't mean I'm going to stop with the crude comments. I may not hate him, but I don't like him. And I'm watching him…if he ever hurts you or Noah, then believe me, someone is going to lose their shit."

Spencer shakes her head, laughing at her friend's statement "I don't think that is going to happen" she says genuinely, an inherent smile tracing upon her face.

A beat passes before Hanna pipes up "me neither."

The two friends smile at each other for awhile, before their eardrums open up to the thumping noise of a door closing, and pitter patting of someone walking towards them.

"Hanna, are you ready to go?" Caleb asks, his tone impatient, and filled with slight irritation.

"Yeah, I think so" she replies, but her eyes stay on Spencer. If telepathy were a thing, they would be playing the part. And maybe in some way, being as close as they were, it was possible; to transfer a thought without words. They were both telling each other they would be okay that the other didn't have to worry.

Hanna broke the gaze, casting her arms around the shoulder of the brunette once more "I love you, Spence" she whispers.

"Love you too"

"Oh my god, you are going to see her tomorrow. Jesus Christ!" Caleb's voice echoes off the walls, unnoticed by the couplet.

"Good Luck" Hanna murmurs before letting go of her friend, figuratively and physically.

Spencer smiles, and watches her friend leave the apartment. Just as she walks out the door, Spencer spots the blonde's shoes, and oddly enough, they are just simple flats. "You're wearing flats" Spencer points out, a questionable tone about her voice.

Hanna glances at her feet, and looks up with a smile and a shrug to follow. "I don't know how it happened, but it did. It's then new spring trend! I'm actually wearing flats at the wedding, I know, right? Who could ever predict that? I mean me! Wearing flats at my own wedding, god, but I love the things. They—"

"Hanna," Caleb groans, his maple eyes pleading her to just come on.

"Anyways, I better go before this one pulls another hissy. See you later, Spence." Hanna pulls the door shut, after blowing her friend a kiss, Caleb more or less, pushing her out the door before she can mumble another word.

Spencer, smiles.

_Huh. _

"I get it, I get it, don't give him any treats, no inviting Tyler over, and put the little munchkin to bed before eight. It's not that hard to understand" the coffee eyed girl says, her eyes doing a three sixty, and her elbow propped against the countertop, her chin resting on her palm, as she watches the older brunette pull a chicken breast out of the oven.

Spencer lets out a huff as she lets the pan of chicken fall to the stovetop. She turns to the teenager sitting at her counter "if there is any emergencies, you'll call me right?"

"Would him chocking on a Twizzler be an emergency?"

Spencer sends the girl daggers.

"Relax! I'm kidding. God, you really do need this night out" Bruna says.

Spencer let out a sigh of relief.

"So, where are you taking Mr. Hulk-Man anyways?"

"Hanna's letting me use the bakery, and I made us a dinner" Spencer smiles inwardly, her eyes heading south.

"Oh my god, how cute! God, I'm sure he'll love it! God, I ship you two so much."

"I really wish you would stop saying that," Spencer comments, giving her a strange look, before turning towards the smoking chicken, once more "I don't even understand what it means."

"How many times do I have to tell you? Jesus Christ. It means that I like you as a couple."

"So, why don't you just say that?" Spencer looks back at her friend.

Before she even can respond, Noah runs into the room, an enthusiastic grin spread out across his face. "I finished cleaning my room, can Miss Bruna play now?" he asks his mother, glancing at the teenager who sits at the counter, a smile also crossing her face, now.

"Ask Miss Bruna, yourself, and _nicely_" directs his mother.

"Miss Bruna will you pretty please play with me with sprinkles on top?" asks Noah, his blue eyes resembling a puppy's, and his golden smile stretched out to his ears.

"Of course I will!" she exclaims, taking the little boy's hand as she steps up from the bar stool.

"Bruna, make sure he _actually_ cleaned it!" Spencer tells the girl as they walk away from her.

Bruna waves her hand dismissively, clearly not paying much attention to the older brunette's words, causing Spencer to sigh and shake her head.

After preparing the dinner for the two, who were playing whatever game her son created, Spencer gets ready for her date. She dresses casually, mostly; wearing the first sundress of the season, and gathering her hair into a neat braid. Her makeup was light, only mascara and a coat of lip gloss, to accessorize her features.

She looks at her reflection in the bathroom mirror, and adjusts the straps of her dress out of a nervous habit. The dress had a pretty simple design; a sweetheart neckline, spaghetti straps, a pretty floral design with the pale cream background. She had gotten it from a boutique, with Hanna, a few years ago. It still fit perfectly, but Spencer doubts her decision to wear it. Titling her head, she sighs. Maybe she should switch her outfit…

But with a knock at the door, her thoughts are completely knocked out of her system, and her heart starts to peddle at full force. It was strange that after all this time, he still gave her butterflies, and made her fumble her speech.

Surely, with the bang running through the small apartment, Spencer would not be the only one to crawl out of hiding. Noah, who was leading the way and Bruna were now rushing out of the small room at the end of the hall; a curious look pasted on the boy's face, and an amused one on the girl's, behind him.

"Mommy, who's here?" the boy asks, following her towards the door.

"Hmmmm, well let's see, shall we?" she tells him, flashing a warm smile his way, before returning her gaze towards the door.

A smile seizes her face, as well as the little boy's, once the door opens. There in the hallway, stood Toby Cavanaugh clad in a blue flannel, and a ravishing smile. "Toby's here!" the little boy exclaimed happily, throwing his hands up, "now you can play superheroes with us!"

"Actually," Spencer cuts in, squatting down to the little boy's level. "Toby and I, were going to spend some adult time together, doing boring things…staying here with Miss Bruna would be much more fun for you, trust me."

"But I wanna play with you guys!"

Spencer pouts, feeling a sudden purge of guilt enter her system. "I'm sorry baby, but don't worry, Toby is not going anywhere. There will be so many other times to play, I promise" she tells the little boy, grabbing his hands in hers.

"Yeah, kiddo, don't worry. I'm not going anywhere." Toby tells him, messing up his mop of hair. He looks in between the two, his lips pursed, and a skeptical look on his face.

"Yeah, kid, don't worry. Why would you wanna hang out with these boring old people, when I'm here?" Bruna offers.

"Okay," he huffs finally, his eyes collapsing to the floor "fine."

"Wanna give me a hug?" Spencer's hands flew out, expanding across the air.

The little boy plummets into her chest, creating the sound of a thump, as his arms reach around her neck. Her arms embrace him soon after, and she holds him tightly for a few seconds before letting go. "Be good for Bruna, okay?" she tells him, before rising to her feet.

He nods, keeping his eyes on the floor.

Before Toby can even ask for a hug, the little boy is already wrapping his arms around the man's legs, offering a hug goodbye "bye Toby, You should come here tomorrow so we can finish the lego house!"

Toby places his hands on the little boy's back, a smile growing on his lips "I'll try my best."

Noah releases his embrace, taking a step back, towards Bruna. He looks up at her with curious eyes "wanna go play now?"

A delicate laugh escapes the brunette's mouth "sure" she responds, taking his little hand in hers. He begins to tug on her to come with her, but she doesn't budge. She keeps her eyes on Spencer "what time did you say you'll be back again? So, I know when to tell Tyler to leave?" she teases.

Spencer rolls her eyes "Have a good night, and Noah listen to Bruna!" Spencer tells the two, Noah noncommittally nodding to her words, as he tugs on Bruna to come with him.

"We need to save the town!" Noah tells her, referring to their game of superheroes, tugging on her more, trying to drag her his way.

"Right, right! Of course" she begins to follow him.

"Bye!" he waves to the two standing in the doorway, as he begins to lead the way to his room, for the second time that night.

Bruna follows, but her speed is equivalent to a slug's. She looks back at the two, once more, "you two have fun tonight!" she yells, and then in a more of a whisper tone she says ,"but not too much fun!", which causes Spencer's eyes to do another orbit.

The two make their exit from the apartment, and down to Spencer's car, where their adventure awaits them.

"So, where exactly are we going again?" Toby asks, once they are both settled inside the car.

"You'll see" Spencer hums, a smile bordering her mouth, as she pulls out of the parking spot.

"Hmph" he murmurs, mostly to himself. "Is it somewhere fancy because I'm not exactly…dressed for the occasion" he glances down at his appearance. "And you look, really nice, and I feel like I should probably have chosen a better shirt."

"No," she glances at him, mostly at his shirt, but her eyes meet his for a millisecond. Her eyes are straight ahead now, "You look fine, really, and thank you." Her words come out with an unintended smile.

He keeps quiet for a moment, but his voice returns soon enough. "I feel like we are going somewhere nice and I should have dressed better, and—ugh, I'm sorry" he sighs, his head bowing down, and his fists clenching.

"Seriously, it's no big deal. Trust me."

"But, you planned something—and if you planned it, I'm sure it isn't just going to be some Sloppy Joes, or some form of a Potluck."

She smiles, "Stop stressing over this, oh my god, you sound like me! First of all, you aren't wearing some sweat stained t-shirt with barbeque stains, it is a flannel, second of all, for the third time, what you are wearing is fine."

"I'm sorry—"

"Apologize one more time and I will have to kick you out of this car," she teases, sending a genuine smile his way, which sparks one to elect on his face, also.

"I'm—" he begins to apologize, but catches her glare, and stops himself. His vocal chords deliver a laugh instead. "I just want you to be happy. I don't want to mess up any of your plans."

A smile frames her lips and a tiny leap of air escapes her mouth. The statement is true on so many levels. For the last seven months, she feels he has been walking on eggshells to prove himself. This was one of the things she feared before taking on the relationship for a second term. She wanted so badly for him to feel content with their relationship, for him to not fear the event of losing her. It's not that she minded his constant approach to wait on her, hand and foot, but she worried for him, mostly. She didn't want him to hurt, she wanted him to forgive himself, like she forgave him, but she knew forgiveness was only granted with time, and his clock was ticking at a slow rate.

She pulls into the small parking lot outside of Hanna's bakery, and just as the route of her car took a turn, so did Toby's facial expression; his eyebrow's crease and his mouth parts. "Hanna's…bakery?" he murmurs, his tone questioning, and curious.

She smiles, once more, not mumbling a word to him, as she pulls into one of the empty parking spots. The whole parking lot is bare of cars, only hers takes residence, which is to be expected since it is seven O' clock, and the bakery closes at three.

"Spencer…" Toby begins, making Spencer's smile broaden.

She steps out of the car, ignoring the words leaving Toby's tongue, and closing the door behind her. He is soon to join her, his voice immediately embarking on the scene. "Spence, wait. I don't understand—Hanna's bakery? What did you do?" he accuses.

She smiles inwardly, meeting him on the sidewalk, and linking his hand with hers. He glances at their laced fingers, before returning to her gaze. Her lips sync with his for a belated greeting kiss, his warm breath dominating her lungs. She pulls out of the kiss, scavenging for air, and places one last feathery kiss on his lips before venturing out completely.

The smile on his face is luminous, reflecting of off hers.

She fixes his hair, more or less, messes with it, before returning her hand to her side. "Okay, so, ready to go in?" she asks, and he sure is.

They step inside, and Spencer's hand meets the light switch, cascading a light on the setting in front of them. Toby's roaming eyes widen as he takes on the scene, his gaze falling on Spencer after a while. The look on his face is ineffable; his mouth is bobbing up and down, his mind failing to find the right words to express what he feels "Spencer," he hums, ever so lightly, only causing her smile to rise higher. "Why did you—what is all this?" he fumbles on his words slightly

The sight in front of them causing his speech impenitent is quite the sight to see. It is straight out of a _Nicholas Sparks_ film; there is a lone, single, round table standing in the center of the room, parked with a tall, unlit, candle, and two plates, under, which the beautifully folded napkins laid.

"It isn't that much," she modestly murmurs, bowing her head down in acute embarrassment.

"_that much"_ he mocks, "it's huge. You didn't have to do anything for me."

"I wanted to," she looks at him, a smile coating her lips. Her hand once again hugs his, and she guides them over to the table, gesturing Toby to take a seat on the chair. He reluctantly does so, letting go of her hand in the process, and scooting his chair into the table. Spencer lights the, unlit, candle with the awaiting lighter on the table, and then tells Toby she will be back in just a minute.

In the time she is gone, he takes in just how lucky he is. His whole life, he thought of himself as an unlucky person. He _always_ ended up in the horrible situations, he got involved with the wrong people, so many awful things befell on him in his life. But in reality, he was lucky, maybe even the luckiest man in the world. He had messed up with Spencer, so badly, but somehow, here they were, having dinner together. He had a son, _they _had a son, who he got to spend time with; get to know. He was sure. Sure that, even if he hadn't messed up with Spencer, if they got their happily ever after, all those years ago, that he would still, most definitely be the luckiest person alive.

Somewhere along his thoughts, he had planted his napkin on his lap. Soon, she is back, a vibrant smile, parallel to his, on her face. She is carrying two bowls of salad. She sets one of the bowls on Toby's plate, then, with her free hand, she removes her own napkin, and sets the bowl on her plate. She takes a seat across from him, scooting in like he did, and smiles at him.

"Spencer," he murmurs, glancing at the salad, and then her.

She already has a forkful of salad in her mouth when he looks up, and he takes this as a prompt to mimic her actions.

They sit there for a little bit, just eating salad, and making small talk in between bites. They talk about the weather; how it is finally getting warmer and how the rain is finally evaporating after, what seemed like, weeks of it. They talk about Hanna, and how Spencer managed to convince her of letting her use the joint for something in acquaintance to him, considering the blonde's feelings for the man. They talk about how Noah is the smartest in his class, and how he'll be the valedictorian, and how if he doesn't get scholarships for his grades (which isn't a doubt) that he'll get them for some type of sport, or type of art, or really anything the boy sets his mind to, considering he excels in just about everything he attempts like his mother; they talk a lot about Noah, but Spencer doesn't bring up the meaning of the dinner, not yet; she waits.

It is not till dinner passes—which is homemade lasagna by the way, a recipe donned by her mother—that Spencer mentions it.

They sit there, their red velvet cup cakes, with cream cheese frosting, and tiny red sprinkles, in front of them. Spencer admits that she didn't make the cupcakes—Hanna did. _It is kind of her thing_, Spencer told him. They both take a bite before Spencer brings up the topic. After the sweet delicious treat voyages down the brunette's throat, she takes a napkin, and dabs her face with it, dismissing the crumbs living on the corners of her lips.

Once Toby notices she has stopped snacking on the tasty desert, he wipes his own face, his eyebrows furrowing "something wrong?"

"There's a reason I did all this."

Toby racks his brain for an explanation, like he had done a few times in the frame of tonight, to why she would do all this. He would know if today was special, he remembered everything with Spencer, every last detail, down to the day she came to his house to tutor him. He knew the day of their first kiss, and the day they started dating; all of it—but this was certainly not a day out of the ordinary, he was sure of it. His question went unanswered all night, but maybe it was finally time for his answer.

"I wanted to talk about something…" she says, her voice moving at a slow pace, a sort of, nervousness accessorizing it.

He nods for her to continue.

She gulps "these last few months have been great—amazing even," her eyes flutter south. "I—you've been so wonderful, with Noah, and just—wonderful, really" she looks at him, a hint of a smile dusting her features.

He looks down, trying to void her of seeing the pinkness gathered in his cheeks. He isn't sure where this is going, really. But, her delicate, friendly tone foreshadows something sweet—_something good_.

"I want Noah to know who you are — who you really are to him" she says, her voice sure, and missing of any insecurities. His head rises as the sentence comes to an end. For the second time tonight, he can't find his words.

"Are you serious?" he asks, but in all honesty, it was a dumb question. April fool's was a month ago, and the expression on her face was most definitely serious.

A smile blossoms her face "of course I am."

The smile on his face beats hers in the, its expansion reaching his ears. They sit there for a moment, gleaming at each other with their luminous smiles and their sparkling eyes, crystallized of joy and bliss, bouncing off of each other.

Toby is the first to move, but only to joint his hands with hers, and pull her up to him; his lips eager for the feeling of hers.

_"You look like your freezing!" she exclaimed, running to him, placing her warm hand on his, cold and reddened, cheek, in a maternal way, her copper eyes motioning back and forth, nervously. "Why are you only wearing a sweat shirt? It is, like thirty degrees outside!" she scolded, stretching out the fabric on his arm, to empathize how little the material did for him._

_He chuckled, ducking his head down, glancing at the material coating his skin. "Yeah…it is kind of cold outside, I guess" he mumbled._

_"Kind of" she rolled her eyes, encircling him in her arms, tightly. "You're ridiculous."_

_He hugged her back, embracing the heat she brought to him. "It's March, it is supposed to be warm outside! I guess I'm just a little eager for the warm weather."_

_"Believe me, you aren't the only one" she pulled out of the hug, walking towards the small kitchen. "Hot chocolate?" she offered, throwing her head his way, as she pulled two mugs out of the cupboard._

_"Sure" he said easily. "You know it sounds cliché, but I want to take Noah to the park, and play baseball with him…teach him how to ride a bike, I don't know, something" he murmured, becoming distant._

_"Since when do you play baseball?" she laughed softly, setting the mugs on the counter._

_"I don't" he said after a pause, grinning in spite of himself, "but you know, it is not like I'm starting some professional league. Just passing a ball around, really."_

_"Well, you better work on your skills. The kid doesn't play around, he got game. He'll have you beat." She teased, as she begins to prepare the hot chocolate._

_"That's not surprising, he is your son."_

_She smiled, continuing to prepare the hot chocolate. A long, mostly comfortable pause hovered over the two as she prepared the hot chocolate. Not until she pushed the mug full of hot chocolate over to him, across the countertop, did a word leave either of their lips._

_"Well I can't take all the credit; he got his artistic skills from you. I can't even draw a stick figure."_

_Toby smiled into his mug. And it isn't like the smile Spencer had just produced those few minutes ago; it is something beyond words to describe. It is genuine, and full of complete bliss. The smile of someone whose worries are completely vanished, and free of any corruption. It is a genuine happy smile, a smile to win the gold._

_"You are being too modest." He said, after a minute, collecting himself, and setting the mug back down on the counter. "You are great at everything you do. I don't think there is one thing you're bad at, to be perfectly honest."_

_She smiled again. _

_The afternoon continued the second half of it much less innocent than the first half._

_They ended up in her bedroom, in a lip lock, at the brim of her bed. She stopped the two, pulling away, her breathing irregular. _

_"You're probably right, it is getting pretty intense we should—" he began to say before she even mumbled a word._

_"I don't want to stop" she told him, causing him to give her a peculiar look._

_She grips his shoulders with her hands, licking her lips, and inching her face close to his, again. "I can't wait any longer" she uttered into his ear, causing goose bumps along his back._

_"I, uh," he mumbled, as she began to move her lips against his neck. "I," he said, letting his head fall back slightly._

_He jerked away, regaining himself, pulling away from her touch._

_His eyes flutter in a way that shows how nervous he actually is. "Right now? Are you sure?"_

_"Hanna will be gone the whole day and we don't have to pick up Noah for another hour and a half. I've been thinking about it a lot, trust me" her fingers grinded harder against shoulders. She shook her head, "I'm ready" she murmured, her voice sweet and angelic. _

_He kissed her on the lips in a gentle kiss. _

_"Are you absolutely sure?" he asked once again, their eyes matching in intensity._

_She nods, bringing his lips back to hers. "Positive," she mumbled, her voice vibrating against his lips._

Their lips clash, almost in sync, releasing the millions of butterflies in the taverns of her stomach. Her trembling hands cradle his face, the brims of her finger tips brushing against his sideburns, and her tongue roaming the caverns of his mouth.

His hands are secure around her waist, meeting at the small of her back, gripping at her hips. Usually, he is much more gentle, delicate, even. But with the high he was on and the adrenaline running through his system, his actions progress to something else; quick and rough, and Spencer isn't complaining. The two easily forget about the sweet treats waiting for them on the table for they are too engrossed with the flavor of each other's lips.

They part for a moment, their eyes matching in intensity. Their panting causes their chests to rise and fall against each other, creating a pattern, engineered from the combination of love and lust.

His previously combed back hair is now a mess, strands of hair sticking up every which way. His dilated eyes are flickering back and forth between hers, every now and then taking a peek at her lips awaiting his. Her hands travel to his collar, her fingers toying with the buttons on his shirt "it's kind of a good thing you wore a flannel," she purrs, as her fingers begin to toggle with the buttons "it's easier to take off."

"So you can steal it?" he teases in a murmur.

Her lips soon meet his again, pausing right over his mouth, as she talks. "I would never" she mumbles, enclosing the tiny vacuum of air between them, pressing her lips to his. Her hands leaping from button to button, voyaging down his shirt, in a frenzy. She feels his smile, which only causes her lips to stretch upwards too. Her hands manage to undo every last button on his shirt within a record time. She pushes the material off his shoulders, and it falls to the ground, landing by their feet. Her hands explore the familiar lands of his body made of steel, sculptured by Zeus himself, causing a sudden tense to infatuate the man's body; a sudden chill plummeting down his spine. The urgency for her is now running on a high. Her lips voyage to his neck and his collar bone, and his chest which is rising and falling at unparticular short lengths "do you want to go…to your place…or my place…and um…continue with…this" his words fall out in breaths.

"I think here is just fine…" she looks up at him, her eyes swarming with lust, and her rosy lips curved up into an impeccable smile.

It occurs to her that this was an utmost crazy idea, and the unsanitary levels are outrageous, but she doesn't really care too much. It was one of those few times, where she didn't care, and like all the rest of the times where she happened to do something spontaneous, it involved Toby Cavanaugh.

Well, you know the saying…

When you're in love you do crazy, stupid, things.

He clashes with her lips again, his tongue tracing the outskirts of her mouth, and his hands finding the zipper of her dress. It all comes so easy, flows together so well, like a storm; building up slowly, the clouds rolling in gradually, then the pouring down of rain coming down all at once, lightning making its expected strike.

Her dress soon finds its new home on the floor, leaving most of her body bare. His pants come of next, joining the party around their feet. She kicks off her shoes, and as does he. She pushes off of him, her hands on his shoulders, to hitch herself upon him, straddling herself around his hips, his hands supporting her at her thighs.

Their kisses deepen causing their lack of oxygen to become severe. Soon, like their clothes, they collapse on the floor, slowly, but almost in a tumbling matter. The two last layers are shredded, leaving just the two of them left. Nothing to come between them.

As they become in sync, and he looks down at her, all he can think about is all the nights he spent pondering if he would ever see her again, and if he did, what she would do. _This_—this was his most wildest dream. It seemed it could only exist in another reality, but here he was. Here _they _were. It didn't seem possible, really. But, here they were.

They eventually reunite with their clothes—after awhile—to return to their son, and the lovely babysitter who is fallen asleep on the couch when they arrive. Spencer wakes the brunette up, telling her it was okay to head home. It was a few minutes passed midnight, but Spencer didn't want to give up the luxuries. So, she told her boyfriend to stay the night, and he does.

…

The two wake up the next morning, courtesy of their son.

He comes in, shouting "mommy!" repeatedly, like normal. But he stops once he sees the man lying next to her. His eyebrows cease, and his voice increases a pitch on the next note. "Why is Toby in your bed?" the little boy asks.

"Um," Spencer sprouts up, along with Toby. She shoots a short glance at the man next to her, and scratches the nape of her neck. "Um, we got really tired…and I told him that he could sleep in my bed."

"Like when I have a nightmare?" the little boy questions.

"Yes, yes exactly!" she nods, along with Toby, both with foolish smiles plastered on their faces.

A moment passes.

"Well now we can start playing! All day!" he exclaims, throwing his arms up.

"Yes! Yeah, just give us a minute, okay? Go wash your hands, and brush your teeth! Okay, we'll be out in a minute…" she tells him.

"Fine," he huffs, his shoulders slouching as he exits the bedroom.

The two burst in laughter once the little boy makes his exit.

"So, there is something I, sort of, forgot to ask, last night…" Spencer begins.

"What?"

She pauses. "I think you should move in…" she suggests "I mean with Hanna gone, and telling Noah about—"

"You don't have to offer an explanation, Spencer. I—I wouldn't want to be anywhere else" he smiles.

She places a chaste kiss on his lips, their smiles meeting.

They part.

"I was actually thinking last night…about telling him…and everything and I was thinking…we should do something—take him somewhere special. I don't know…do something out of the ordinary."

"Mmm" she moans thoughtfully at the idea.

"Like what if we went on a picnic? We could tell him there? You know we could pack sandwiches…go to some national park… bring some bubbles or a ball to play with."

A smile stretches out on her face. "Yeah, yeah. I think that would be a perfect" she agrees, pressing another small peck on the man's lips. "But I think both of us kind of need to shower and you probably should change into some clothes that you were not wearing yesterday" she teases, throwing her legs off the side of the bed. She throws her hair up into a messy ponytail, and then looks at him again. "And you know, as much as I would commend you not wearing a shirt, you should probably put one on." She smiles, before stepping off the bed.

He chuckles, following her lead, and his feet meeting the canvas of the wooden floors. He tugs on his jeans, and then reaches for his flannel shirt on the floor. "You know I think this is the first time I'm getting away with all my clothes."

She smiles as she fixes her hair in her dresser mirror "yeah, well don't make a habit of it" she teases, turning around.

He smiles, and so does she.

"We better get out there before Noah starts to get restless" she says, walking towards the door. "The last time I left him on his own with tooth paste; I found a nice little painting on my bathroom counter top."

He laughs, shaking his head, following her out of the bedroom.

The morning continued as normal; breakfast was served, and coffee was made. Noah was pretty upset with the two when Toby announced his departure, but after promising him an eventful afternoon, he seemed to forgive them.

Spencer had prepared Noah, and herself for a day at the park. The temperatures outside were ideal; not too hot, and not too cold. It was a perfect day to spend outside.

She collected some of Noah's toys for the outdoors, aka some bubbles, and a rubber ball, and other necessities for a picnic; a blanket to sit on, napkins, paper plates, juice boxes, and water bottles. Toby had told her he had the sandwiches covered, and Spencer told him that she would stop at Hanna's bakery for some sweets along the way. They eventually met at the site of the national park, on the top of a curved, small hill, where the sun touched.

They sit on the blanket, on top of the hill, at the beautiful national park. There are bikers and joggers all around, and the volley ball court is full of teenagers, and a few yards over is a birthday party, kind of like the one Spencer had hosted for Noah.

Spencer pulls out the napkins and plates, and hands Noah a juice box, and Toby a water bottle. She can tell that Toby is nervous do to the immediate scratching off of the paper wrapper around the water bottle—not to mention his knuckles repeatedly bouncing up and down.

He pulls out the sandwiches after a minute, and hands them out to the two. They begin eating, and Noah notes _"this is mommy's favorite"_ somewhere along the way, which Toby replies with _"yeah, I know it is", _which made Spencer smile.

Time passes and the three begin to play with the bubbles. They each have one, but most of the bubbles being procreated are courtesy the four year old.

The two adults stand on the sidelines, watching their son, play with bubbles.

"Don't worry" she says, "he _loves _you. He'll be overjoyed to know you're his daddy" she blows a small bubble, mindlessly.

"Is it really that obvious?" he faces her.

She glances at him, then the bottle of bubbles in his hands—the paper wrapping, shredded. She raises her eyebrow at him.

He glances at the bottle in his hand, and sighs. "I just—I don't know. What if he is mad, or upset, or—I don't know. I'm just…the worst scenarios keep running through my head, and ugh" his hands begin to pick at the paper wrapping yet again.

Spencer sighs, pulling the bottle away from him, and letting it fall to the ground (it wasn't open, Toby was only using it as his personal scratch post). She places her hand where the bottle used to be. "It will be fine, OK. He wants a father, trust me, and he adores you. Knowing that you're his father will just make him love you more."

He smiles, sort of, and squeezes her hand.

With an inhale, he says "can we tell him now?"

And she nods in approval.

The two gather their son, and sit back down on the blanket. They tell him, before they can have the cupcakes supplied from Hanna's bakery, they have an announcement.

"Noah," Spencer begins, cautiously, her nerves finally catching up with her. "You know how, babies are created from love, and how there is so much love in someone, or between two people, that there is too much love to handle, and it results in a baby being created?" she asks.

He nods, slightly recalling her saying something like this when he asked her where babies come from (because naturally, being the son of curiosity, herself, he would had to ask the question sooner or later within his lifetime as a youngster.)

"And you know how I told you that there was so much love in me that something magical happened—and you came to me?"

He nods, and she isn't really sure if he recalls this all, but she continues.

"Well," she clucks her tongue. "Turns out, I didn't know what I was talking about. It wasn't just me… there was more love being delivered…there was someone else who contributed to the magic."

He tilts his head, and his eyebrows fall into a knit "like a daddy?"

"Yes! Exactly!" she lets out a nervous smile, an almost laugh. "Yes, that is exactly what I'm talking about…_a daddy_."

"I thought you said I didn't have one" he furrows his eyes, pouting out his bottom lip.

"I was wrong. You do."

His eyes widen after a second, "really?"

She nods, a distressing smile coating her face.

"who?" he asks innocently.

"You've actually met him," she begins to explain, her voice, sort of sullen, her emotions making a frenzy.

His eyebrows furrow further, and she decides to stop with the riddles. She looks at Toby, and swallows. He is biting his lip, and he looks to be much more in a hurricane of emotions than her.

"He's here with us right now…" she tells him, her voice soft, and supporting, her gaze leading towards Toby, now.

The little boy's eyebrows raise, and he looks at Toby, and then at Spencer, and then at Toby again. "You're my daddy?" he asks, his voice light and innocent and curious.

He begins to nod, after he storms through the emotions that are brewing a storm within his head. A gentle smile is placed on his face, and his hands are curled into nervous fists immersed of anxiety.

"Really?" the boy asks again.

After a moment of trying to catch his voice, he chokes out a "_really_."

A delicate smile stretches out on the little boy's features.

"So," he says after a small pause "can I start calling you daddy?"

**OK so hi again**

**First of all, the last line, I got it from Parenthood, um I forgot the kid's name, but he says something along the lines of that so yeah~**

**And OK I know there is still one last part of this, but I just want to give a big thank you to everyone who ever read, or reviewed, or favorited (not a word; lol too bad I don't care), or followed this story J you guys are THE BEST. I know at times this story was ridiculous, and the angst level was extreme, but thank you so much for sticking with me, and I hope it was worth it J YOU GUYS MAKE ME SMILE! SO MUCH! And just THANK YOU A LOT!**

**Please leave a review and tell me if this chapter was a good wrap J PLEASEEEEEEEE~~~ or just the overall story really~ J **

**Also remember there is still the epilogue 3**


End file.
